A sociopath is someone who has a pervasive and persistent disregard for the rights and feelings of others. This disregard is manifested in the antisocial behavior sociopaths show. While we usually think of antisocial behavior as criminal, not all antisocial acts are illegal. A person who slips up once is not a sociopath. Sociopathy is a lifestyle.
Since humans are designed to live in society, a healthy personality has prosocial inclinations. Therefore, people who are pervasively antisocial are disordered in the sense that they are not the norm (thank God). Although antisocial behaviors are observable actions like lying, stealing and assault, there are personality traits that cause antisocial behavior. It should come as no surprise that people who have a sense of entitlement, over-rate their own greatness and have poor self-control are more likely to hurt others and show pervasive antisocial behavior.
The American Psychiatric Association has defined a group of personality disorders it calls “cluster B”. According to a recent paper* by German psychiatrist, Christian Huchzermeier, M.D., “ The cluster includes disturbances of personality that go hand in hand with emotional dysregulation phenomena, a tendency towards aggressive—impulsive loss of control, egoistic exploitation of interpersonal relationships, and a tendency to overestimate one’s own importance.”
The disorders of “cluster B” go together because what underlies them is a disturbance in three developmentally acquired abilities I have called The Inner Triangle. These abilities are:
Ability to Love
Impulse Control
Moral Reasoning
These abilities that a child gains during development are a triangle because the development of each depends on the other two. A child begins to acquire ability to love in the first year of life, impulse control begins in the second year of life. At two years of age there is already a link between ability to love and impulse control. Children with the best impulse control also are the most loving/empathetic. Moral reasoning begins in the third year of life and its development depends on a loving nature and impulse control. Similarly the most moral kids are also the most loving and self-controlled.
I think of the cluster B disorders as different manifestations of damage to the inner triangle. I think of sociopaths as individuals who completely lack ability to love and have impaired impulse control and moral reasoning.
Given the Inner Triangle, it should come as no surprise that it can be difficult to find people who have only one cluster B personality disorder. For that reason individuals with antisocial personality, narcissistic personality, borderline personality and histrionic personality often have symptoms of the other disorders. If someone gets a diagnosis of only one of these, it doesn’t mean that the person doesn’t also have one or all of the others. The person making the diagnosis simply thought that the one chosen best described the person. You should know there is a gender bias in diagnosis such that women are often labeled “borderline.” These women can also be sociopaths who leave a trail of victimized friends, lovers and children in their wakes.
A recent study reported in Behavioral Science and the Law, “The Relationship Between DSM-IV Cluster B Personality Disorders and Psychopathy According to Hare’s Criteria: Clarification and Resolution of Previous Contradictions” examines the relationship between psychopathic personality traits as defined by the screening version of the PCL and Cluster B personality disorders. The authors of this study were careful to examine people who had only one cluster B disorder. They found psychopathy to be associated with all cluster B disorders.
The authors conclude:
“One clinical implication of our results, nevertheless, is that in cases where a cluster B personality disorder is diagnosed a high psychopathy value is to be expected, especially where antisocial, borderline or narcissistic personality disorder is involved. The PCL score is a better predictor of subsequent events, such as problems during (criminal) custody or a relapse into delinquency, than a diagnosis of a DSM-IV personality disorder, especially in forensic populations; therefore, an additional investigation with the PCL should be carried out, if a cluster B personality disorder has been diagnosed.”
It is important for Lovefraud readers to be aware of this study especially if there is a divorce/custody proceeding or a cluster B personality disorder has been diagnosed. Many people might think that if the partner has been “diagnosed borderline” or “diagnosed narcissistic” that means the partner is not a psychopath/sociopath. This study suggests otherwise. IF YOU ARE INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS THESE YOU HAVE TO CONSIDER THEIR HARMFUL BEHAVIOR AS AN INDICATION OF PSYCHOPATHY/SOCIOPATHY. There are some people with cluster B, histrionic, borderline and narcissistic disorders who are not highly antisocial. But if the person is lying, cheating and manipulating, that is antisocial behavior. This behavior in the context of any cluster B means the person is potentially very dangerous. As the authors state:
“Screening for PCL-based psychopathy can also be important for general psychiatric patients with a DSM-IV personality disorder, so that potential difficulties in the course of their treatment can be anticipated and this comorbidity can be targeted in the planning of therapy. Patients with both a DSM-IV personality disorder and PCL-based psychopathy can exhibit behavior that is particularly dangerous to therapy (Stafford & Cornell, 2003).”
If you have been diagnosed with borderline personality and reading this frightens you, I am sorry. You can improve by working on your inner triangle. Talk to your therapist about DBT a treatment that is very effective in improving the state of the Inner Triangle in people who are motivated to do it.
*The reference for the paper discussed is Behav. Sci. Law 25: 901—911 (2007).
OH WAIT ~ I MISSED SOMETHING before I posted.
Whybother – My daughter is a sciopath – she was NEVER ABUSED as a child. Oh, and I am serious, very serious.
One,
pthththtthhttht!
Lighten up! 🙂
I didn’t mean to be dismissive, I just don’t know a more PC way to say it.
Oxy, science is as contaminated by bias and error and spaths as any other field. For every scientific proof by a scientist, you will find the opposite finding by another scientist. Sometimes the opposing finding happen concurrently, sometimes they happen years later. Like the article that Why Bother posted yesterday about the neuroscientist who found out he had spath genes and spath brain scans, but was not a spath. He attributes that to upbringing and his field is studying spaths, so he is considered an expert.
Milo,
you are getting really good at gray rock. Must be all that practice.
I guess I missed your point, but you know, just because YOU didn’t abuse her, doesn’t mean somebody didn’t. Just growing up in this culture of narcissism is a form of abuse!
Hi Sky ~ I owe all that gray rock training to you. Seriously, that has been the most helpful thing anyone has ever told me and better yet it works.
I understand what you are saying about our culture and the narcissism that almost encourages it. I don’t believe that was close to what Whybother was referring to with abuse and dysfunctional families. This is a trigger for me, my daughter tells everyone that she was abused by her parents. She even goes to meet up groups for abuse survivors, so she can mimic and use their stories. She is like an emotional vampire. I know we never abused her in any way, or was our family dysfunctional. I do not believe she was ever abused by anyone.
Take care –
Milo,
I know a little boy about 5 years old. He’s so sweet, but I think he will grow up to have serious problems – maybe not, I hope not. His parents are also very nice, but…the dad is a narcissist. He doesn’t like to work so he is a stay at home dad, does occasional temp jobs, and plays in a band. He is 52 years old. Mom is the bread winner, about the same age.
One day, the dad says to me, “one of the things that attracted me to (the mom) is that I could manipulate her easily.” I thought, WTF? I also noticed he didn’t use the word love.
Then, on another day, he said, “Jr. has noticed how I manipulate (the mom) and now he’s starting to do it too. I had to discipline him and I spanked him. That’s the first time I’ve had to spank him” Again, WTF?
Watching Jr. interact with the mom, I can see how he’s constantly pushing her boundaries and using emotional ploys. She’s a push over since he was her first child at age 50. This is a perfect example of child abuse: he gets to watch his hypocritical dad manipulate mom but he isn’t allowed to emulate his dad, his role model and main caregiver.
I see a train wreck up ahead and nobody had any bad intentions. If anything, they probably would say they spoil him, because they do. And BTW, the mom is completely clueless to her husband’s narcissistic PD.
Sky ~
Interesting, especially the way you were able to recognize that, most would not.
My daughter-in-laws both will observe something that my husband does or says to me and comment on how their husbands (my sons) do the exact same thing. Thank goodness most is thoughtful in nature.
In all my daughter’s relationships, she has always been the abuser, rather than the victim. There was NEVER any violence in our family. She was adopted as a baby and we have learned that her biological parents fit the S/P profile to a “T”. She was removed at birth and spent no time with either of them. Just from my personal experience, I must side with the genetic factor, however I would never rule out nuture in the equation of many sciopaths.
SKY!!!!
Talk about a contradiction in your posting: BOINK!
QUOTE: “His parents are also very NICE , but”the dad is a NARCISSIST. ”
Sky that is like saying “he’s a real nice guy when he isn’t robbing banks” If the dad is a Narcissist and manipulates the mom and brags about it HE IS NOT A NICE PARENT. You are right, the guy is probably abusive, but he is PROBABLY NOT “NICE.”
Milo, my P son told everyone in the world who would listen that he was abused as a child….oy ve…the poor baby! He is still abused of course because I quit sending money. LOL He wrote a 10-12 page hand written letter to a minister friend of mine after I cut him off telling how UNchristian we were because we would not give him UN-CONDITIONAL love. (i.e. send money after he tried to have me killed! LOL)
Yea, they play the pity ploy all the time and some people believe them. But you know, I am falling less and less for ANYONE’s pity ploy as I see so many cases where an abuser who gets called BS on, then turns around and pretends to be the VICTIM. So I am not accepting just anyone’s cries of “I’m a victim” just on face value, because too many of them are like your P daughter and my P son….they are actually the abuser but pretending to be the victim. Wolves in sheep’s clothing.
Milo,
definitely, there is a huge genetic component. Who knows but maybe an upbringing that is perfect for an empath child, is detrimental to a spath child? I know that being very generous with a spath, makes them feel entitled rather than grateful, the way we do. If you raised your kids by making sacrifices so that they could have good childhoods, the empaths would be grateful but the spaths would just want more. It is telling that for a woman who says she was abused by you, she KEEPS COMING BACK TO YOU, demanding your time, money and attention.
In the case of the little 5 year old boy, he can be AMAZINGLY kind and considerate. He blew me away once, when I was leaving his house and he came out of his bedroom and said, “Skylar, it’s nice to see you. I’m so glad I got to see you before you left.” He had just turned 5 and I had only met him maybe 3 times in his life.
Now I think he was just practicing his “skills”.
Oxy,
I know he is a narcissist because of the red flags: doesn’t work much, doesn’t like to do things for his wife, admits to manipulating her and hasn’t finished the house he was remodeling (bet you didn’t know that was a red flag).
But he really is NICE in his behavior. He thanks me for every little thing I do, he hugs me hello. AFAIK, he doesn’t go around plotting and scheming to hurt others. He just feels entitlled to get a better deal than everyone else, including his wife. And he treats his boy with care and concern, but doesn’t realize he is sabotaging his future mental health.
I really don’t think he has a double life or cheats like my exspath did. He’s just really lazy and self centered. The behavior that I described in his son, expressing how glad he was to see me, is learned from his father. He manipulates quite NICELY. lol!
I love how your son thinks you should send him money so he can kill you better! WTF?
My exspath said, “I can’t believe you would be so cruel to the cats, taking them away from their father.” (meaning him, since we were cat parents)
I replied, “YOU tried to KILL me!”
He just looked at me with an expression like: so? your point?
Well, Sky, it sounds like you are right, that he is a narcissistic creep with good MANNERS, but that does NOT make him “nice” in my book. TED BUNDY and the BTK killer were “nice” too (both had great manners) but that did not make them NICE! I think you need to change your definition of what is and what is not a “nice person.” LOL Even psychopaths can have good manners when they want to have. LOL