Sociopaths will manipulate anyone. Let me repeat that. Sociopaths will manipulate absolutely anyone, including mom, dad, brothers, sisters—anyone. One way that this happens is the sociopath gets his or her family—knowingly or not—to participate in the victimization of the target.
Lovefraud received an e-mail from Rod in Nebraska. Rod’s daughter had been targeted by a sociopath. In his e-mail, he wrote the following:
One thing that I do believe should be approached about a sociopath is his ability not only to control his victim, but also his family. The sociopath works his family to the extent that he manipulates his immediate family into believing that none of his problems in life are his fault and consequently the blame falls on the one he wooed into a relationship. In this manner he deliberately cons his family into enabling him in his behavior. Oh, poor guy, the world is against him, he has a seizure disorder and has the gout. Thus concluding my opinion that he controls his universe and his family’s.
Family ties
There are parents who continually bail out their sociopathic children—even as grown adults. There are family members who continually acquiesce to the sociopath’s demands, maybe just to maintain the peace.
Sometimes the families are just as clueless as everyone else. They don’t understand the sociopath’s behavior, but they feel family members are obligated take care of each other. They believe the sociopath when he or she blames the victim for whatever is going wrong.
Other times, the family members are sociopathic themselves—the risk of developing this personality disorder is genetic. So they see absolutely nothing wrong with predatory behavior.
So to escape, the victim must often stand up to not only the sociopath—which is difficult enough—but the sociopath’s entire family as well.
Maryjane
Outlier, I am a screenwriter. I have written a script about my life, FEAST OF MEN.. and one producer was looking a Michelle Pheiffer as playing me.. but it just didn’ get off the ground yet.
I have also writtne a book DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR.. about perceptions of childhood experiences…
What the TUDORS.. on the history channel.. talk about a classic sociopath..
Maryjane
But you can write and read and think. I get it, only to be pulled back into the insanity at a weak time of your life.. it’s as if they are weak seeking missiles that take aim and fire when any weak spot is exposed.
Ox Drover
Dear Style, I saw the Tudors too, and yes, many of the ruling classes of many nations all down through recorded history were psychopaths. They rose to the top because they were willing to do whatever it took to get there, including lie, cheat, steal and kill. It is still the same today in most countires, I think. Some countries have more “democracy” than others but in many or even most politicians they rise to the top because they are willing to DO what it takes to succeed in a cut throat situation.
I can’t remember the name of the series, but it was the one about the British where the guy was trying to become Prime Minister. Oh, my goodness was he a psychopath!!!! GREAT SHOWS!
Style, I think most drama in one way or another shows psychopathic traits and behaviors…it is what makes drama exciting! It makes a good story. LOL Look at all the “SOAPS” on TVG, every one of them is about one or more psychopaths! The entire plots are about psychopathic behavior.
Maryjane
Well, this is like my Dad is…. you are in ‘favor’ as long as you ‘behave’, ‘agree’ and do as he wishes..
any disagreeement is like “off with your head” To the tower with you! I am the stand up and talk type and not afraid of conflect but I think I bite off my nose to spite my face at times..
I am so sick of his behavior over the years, that times, I can be fast to snap..
I need to learn to play the game.. humor him.. but I respect him to much to do that.. but my sisters and others do the humoring and most of the time stay out of his line of fire.. I walk into it… at times, I feel that I can’t stand him.. his arrogance and so easy to dismiss or attack anyone that challenges him..
one time years ago, I was going through a rough time and was voicing my opinion to him and he told me that he wished I was dead..
I have such an emotionally abusive history with him.. when I watched the Tudors.. I mean, it was like watching my Dad..
then at other times, when I am up and someone tells him how ‘pretty’ I am or some such.. then I am the apple of his eye.. and he readily claims me as his first born…
This is why I have issues with men… it is an imprint on me…
I want it gone! Will it ever be gone!????????????????
Outlier
It’s coming up to 1.30am here. I’ll reply to this in the morning. (I’m in the UK). I saved the reply in draft. Just glad that they don’t cut horses in america. I’m so silly :O)
We are healthy normal people. We cross paths with unhealthy abnormal people. Normal people don’t give us reason to research personality disorders*. Abnormal people do.
There exists sites run by sociopaths sharing their experiences. They publish their abnormality for all to see. This never fails to amuse me. I’m sure many mental health professionals hang around there gathering much insight.
* all kinds of disorders other than N, S, Ps.
one/joy_step_at_a_time
style – this is my dad too:
‘Well, this is like my Dad is”. you are in ’favor’ as long as you ’behave’, ’agree’ and do as he wishes..’
i do not respect my dad that much anymore. i think not playing games with your dad is you respecting you. don’t think he is worthy of as much respect as you afford him.
Maryjane
one step.. yes it because I respect myself.. I respect human beings in general too much to play games and to humor…
I wish that I could be a bit like that though at times…
My friends tell me that they can count on me to tell them the truth..
Why talk, if it isn’t real and authentic??
I want to be with a man that is man enough to love me for all that I am…
Outlier
One last thing, I’m always interested in the usernames we assign to ourselves on this forum. Descriptive, literal. Outlier is very much based on the definition:
a person who is excluded, or excludes himself, from some group
The group is the one the sociopath gathers round them. An affirmative reminder to remain distanced from the toxic group.
one/joy_step_at_a_time
oh my sox need mending again. darn. snort!
Ox Drover
Dear Style,
And you hang around with and try to please a man who says he wishes you were dead WHY? Doesn’t matter that he donated theh sperm for you if he hates you that much, what do you get out of it? More abuse? It sure ain’t love.
I am off and gone from my egg donor, and was for 40+ years before my sperm donor died, don’t need these toxic people any more. So what if they donated my DNA it sure wasn’t out of love for me.