Medical and mental health professionals have differing views and opinions about the personality disorders that are the topic of Lovefraud—sociopathy, psychopathy and antisocial personality disorder. You could also include narcissism and borderline personality disorder.
There is disagreement among professionals about how the disorders should be defined, what causes them, and what can be done about them. As an example, take a look at a recent post along with the comments: ASK DR. LEEDOM: Is there a gender bias against men in the diagnosis of sociopathy?
No matter what discussions are raging in the professional world, here is what the rest of us need to know: There are evil people among us.
“I never knew such evil existed”
Lovefraud receives plenty of e-mail from people who have been deceived, manipulated, bankrupted, assaulted and deserted by sociopaths/psychopaths/antisocials. One comment that I frequently hear is, “I never knew such evil existed.”
Yes, it does. This is what evil people look like:
- They are charming and say all the right things
- They are supremely confident in their own greatness
- They are highly sexual
- They crave excitement and are easily bored
- They are impulsive, risk-taking and irresponsible
- They are pathological liars, telling falsehoods large and small
- They feel no guilt or remorse; nothing is their fault
- They use you and then spit you out
- They do not play by the rules
- Once they are adults, they cannot be rehabilitated
M. Scott Peck, M.D., in his book People of the Lie, says: “Evil is that force, residing either inside or outside of human beings, that seeks to kill life or liveliness.” In other words, evil people seek to kill the life force of their victims. Sometimes this means turning victims into broken shells of what they used to be. Sometimes it means murder.
Three points for professionals
It is extremely difficult to fight evil. Therefore, the best thing we can do is avoid it. We need to accept that evil exists and learn to recognize the key symptoms so that we can keep evil people out of our lives.
So what does this mean for the professionals? In many cases, these are the people who are making recommendations and decisions that affect the lives of both the evil and the victims.
In my opinion, professionals—and this includes legal professionals, especially court judges—need to learn three things:
- How to distinguish the evil people, who cannot be helped, from those who have succumbed to terrible life circumstances, such as poverty, crime and bad parenting, and may possibly be helped.
- How to save the offspring of evil people from growing up to be evil.
- How to help victims recover.
There are people in the world who feel that everyone has good within them, that with enough love and understanding, anyone can be helped. As much as I would like this to be true, it is not. Evil exists. We’ve experienced it.
Dancing Nancies: How’d you find that link?
Good call btw XD.
I googled her name… for some reason it sounded familiar but I can’t put my finger on where I heard of it. Maybe I really never heard of it before, just thought I would give it a shot.
Again, good call XD. Intuition perhaps?
Towanda to me because I am happy and content right now for the first time in years and my life may be about to become really awesome! Stay tuned! :):)
evil was a word that i had never used until the spath. it is the only word that expresses what she does.
i use it now to describe her – strung together with ‘lying’ and a string of expletives. i use it now to describe anything narcissistic/ dishonest/ lying/ manipulative and ultimately injurious to people and society.
…this word exists because evil exists. the concept of evil exists because evil exists – i am sure it has been with us forever.
Nolonger:
GOOD for you !!!!!! It’s awesome to hear such happiness!
Ox Drover: I just came back to the computer. Thanks very much for your response. It is soooo good to know that I am not alone.
I have 3 teenage daughters and each of them has had there own reactions to a father who just isn’t available. He is sooo charming and fools them to thinking he is wonderful. I do not want to be the one to tell them differently but don’t want them to be un-equipped to deal with the REAL him by not knowing about it like I did. I have handled it by not saying anything but answer their questions as each of them is ready to ask.
Tonight my 18 year old said the words, “I don’t care.” She was referring to school but it triggered fear in me. It would kill me if any one of them ended up at all like him. If it is at all environmental, how do I remove his influence? It is not as easy for them to just remove him from their lives. My oldest wants to be a Daddy’s girl but inwardly I see her pain from not having that. She can’t see that he can’t genuinely care about ANYBODY even though he plays a VERY good game that he does. Any advice on how to handle this with the kids????
Dear REachingout,
Your daughters at 18 are primarily what they are going to be I think as far as personality disorder (or lack of it) is concerned. Doesn’t mean that he hasn’t damaged and hurt them with his lack of love and caring. My own sperm donor (I don’t call him father, he didn’t earn the name) was a psychopath and I so wanted to love him, but hadn’t been raised with him and didn’t know him, so went to live with him at 17 and got severely hurt. Just keep a good relationship with your daughters if you can and they will have to find out for themselves. If they ask tell them the truth (about his cheating or beating or whatever) as unemotionally as you can, but tell them that he did hurt you and how, honestly.
It is difficult for a child to find out that their parent is unable to love them,, believe me I know that, I didn’t realize until I was 60+ that my egg donor didn’t and never had loved me, and I had so wanted to beleive she did. It hurts no matter how old you are. We can’t prevent every hurt for our children as much as we would like to. Just do the best you can and let God take care of the rest. ((hugs))))
Oops, I lied. First off I came here just looking for a bit of support. Why am I being told not to post here. Seems to me you folks (not all ) but some, seem like ‘sociopaths’ yourselves. I’m sorry I interrupted your conversations about what you’re about to eat and the rocks in your garden or just saying hi. All you have here is the same old crap that’s in all groups, it’s just ‘online’. Careful not to become what you speak against. Oh, and the woman posting about sister is full of dung, I’ll bet her sister is actually a good person.
Have we ever discussed the mask?