Medical and mental health professionals have differing views and opinions about the personality disorders that are the topic of Lovefraud—sociopathy, psychopathy and antisocial personality disorder. You could also include narcissism and borderline personality disorder.
There is disagreement among professionals about how the disorders should be defined, what causes them, and what can be done about them. As an example, take a look at a recent post along with the comments: ASK DR. LEEDOM: Is there a gender bias against men in the diagnosis of sociopathy?
No matter what discussions are raging in the professional world, here is what the rest of us need to know: There are evil people among us.
“I never knew such evil existed”
Lovefraud receives plenty of e-mail from people who have been deceived, manipulated, bankrupted, assaulted and deserted by sociopaths/psychopaths/antisocials. One comment that I frequently hear is, “I never knew such evil existed.”
Yes, it does. This is what evil people look like:
- They are charming and say all the right things
- They are supremely confident in their own greatness
- They are highly sexual
- They crave excitement and are easily bored
- They are impulsive, risk-taking and irresponsible
- They are pathological liars, telling falsehoods large and small
- They feel no guilt or remorse; nothing is their fault
- They use you and then spit you out
- They do not play by the rules
- Once they are adults, they cannot be rehabilitated
M. Scott Peck, M.D., in his book People of the Lie, says: “Evil is that force, residing either inside or outside of human beings, that seeks to kill life or liveliness.” In other words, evil people seek to kill the life force of their victims. Sometimes this means turning victims into broken shells of what they used to be. Sometimes it means murder.
Three points for professionals
It is extremely difficult to fight evil. Therefore, the best thing we can do is avoid it. We need to accept that evil exists and learn to recognize the key symptoms so that we can keep evil people out of our lives.
So what does this mean for the professionals? In many cases, these are the people who are making recommendations and decisions that affect the lives of both the evil and the victims.
In my opinion, professionals—and this includes legal professionals, especially court judges—need to learn three things:
- How to distinguish the evil people, who cannot be helped, from those who have succumbed to terrible life circumstances, such as poverty, crime and bad parenting, and may possibly be helped.
- How to save the offspring of evil people from growing up to be evil.
- How to help victims recover.
There are people in the world who feel that everyone has good within them, that with enough love and understanding, anyone can be helped. As much as I would like this to be true, it is not. Evil exists. We’ve experienced it.
It’s really very interesting that both seer and hollowater are both NEW and responded to this particular thread in their NEWNESS. Hollowater’s first “hey. hi im new” post came only 18 min after seer’s last one.
I guess you weren’t as good at playing pretend as you thought you were.
Seer, I didn’t see you told not to post here, and I’m not sure why you think some of us (not all) seem like sociopaths ourselves—we are rather cautious someitmes when newer people come here and post in an “unusual” way and we just sort of “back off”—just observing how the new poster presents themselves. YOu have obviously been offended and said “the woman posting about her sister is “full of dung and I’ll bet her sister is actually a good person.”
I’m not sure what you are basing that on, but we usually disagree here by being a bit more respectful toward each other. I’m not trying to run you off, but just wanted to let you know that we do try to keep reasonable respect here, reasonably on subject, but sometimes old friends who havevbeen here a while do chatter on about our gardens or what we’re cooking. You’re not obligated to read those blogs if you don’t want to.
Gaslighting? Check. Projection? Check. Minimizing? Check. Why oh why do these words ring such a familiar bell…
Ox Drover: I feel your hug! What you say makes great sense. Sometimes you just need a reminder!!
If I had been beaten or anything as obvious as that, it would have been an justification for leaving mush sooner. My Socie (as I call them) “invested” my parents life savings and lost every penny. He emptied the girls little savings accounts that they had collected since birth… THings like that. My grandfather pasased a few weeks ago and he showed up at the funeral. “Show” is the word. It was a total show for the girls. My family just does not know any other way to act. My brother went up and shook his hand and said, “Nice to see you.” They think they are being nice for the girls but I believe it sends the wrong message. Socie’s SHOULD have consequences. They will take as long as they can without them. I would not expect anyone to cause a scene but he has cheated or destroyed everyone in the family in one way or another. Where is the line? HOw can we (they) stay civil but not to the point where everything he did (and still does if he can) is seemingly OK??? I do not want my daughters believing this is the way they are to to be treated by a man.
Familiar~
hollowwaters,
Frankly I do not see why anyone would want to run you off the site or anything else.
I suggest that you go through the archives of articles and read and learn about psychopath. This has been a crazy day, and I truly believe that you do not mean any harm. The points here are usually pretty straight forward but we do disagree sometimes and try to do it in a respectful way. I’m, sorry you don’t feel welcome here…I’m a mouthy old biddy and if you act up I will usually let you KNOW about it so don’t be paranoid! LOL
I’m going to bed now, IU will see you guys tomorrow. (((hugs)))
REachingout,
They try to keep up the mask in front of others, my egg donor keeps up the mask oif being the best, sweetest, nicest, most generous christian lady, b ut boy that is not what she is behind the MASK. She is good at controlling that mask too.
It ‘s hard reaching out, just keep on reading articles. I’m drooping over on my key board got to go to bed. See you all in the morning
OK. Sleep well!!
Reachingout:
Keep setting an example for your kids, and don’t expect ANYthing but what your getting out of the spath.
You’ll have to learn how to ‘dance’ to keep your kids protected.
Others will eventually see the ‘real’ him…..in the meantime, keep your distance from those who still ‘buddy’ up with him.
I’ts a long haul…..and an emotional one……but we can and do survive!
Thats’ another trait of a spath…..reading people wrong.
🙂