Russell Williams was a colonel in the Canadian Forces, a pilot who flew dignitaries including Queen Elizabeth II, and commander of the largest airbase in Canada. That is, until he was arrested for breaking into women’s homes and stealing their underwear, sexual assault and murdering two young women.
Lovefraud has written about Williams before: For Halloween: A real monster who liked to dress up.
The question, of course, is how did such a predator achieve the rank of colonel? Should he have been flagged along the way? How was it that Williams received nothing but stellar reviews, and turned out to be a murderer?
The Canadian Forces, stunned by what happened, launched an inquiry into how candidates are selected for senior command positions. Could enhanced psychological testing have revealed Williams’ true nature? Here’s what Macleans reported:
The answer, sadly, is no. Among hundreds of pages of internal military documents, obtained by Maclean’s under the Access to Information Act, is a draft version of that review. It confirms what leading experts have long maintained: there is no off-the-shelf exam that employers, armed forces or otherwise, can use to detect sociopathic killers. “Given the recent events in CFB Trenton, it is natural for the CF to question whether or not the organization could have identified a sexual sadist or predicted that an individual would become a serial sexual murderer,” the report says. But that “would be unrealistic to expect.”
Read There’s no way to spot another Russell Williams on Yahoo.com.
It’s probably true that no one could have spotted Williams. His case, however, is highly unusual. As I wrote in Sudden psychopath: The horrifying yet strange case of Col. Russell Williams, this case is unique in that Williams showed no signs of disorder before he suddenly became a sexual pervert and predator. Unlike most sociopaths, he didn’t have a history of lying, cheating and abusing. That’s why his case is so weird.
Judged by behavior
Although I don’t know much about the various psychological tests that are available, I doubt that any self-report inventory, where the subject answers questions about himself or herself, would work. After all, sociopaths lie. They lie about everything, so of course they’re going to lie on a personality test. Even if the test is designed to spot inconsistencies, how would anyone know which part is true?
To diagnose sociopaths, you need to know about their behavior. Most sociopaths leave a lifelong trail of destruction, ranging from overt crime to subtle emotional and psychological abuse. Dr. Robert Hare developed the Psychopathy Checklist Revised (PCL-R), and it has become the gold standard for diagnosing psychopaths (the term he uses). The PCL-R has two parts—a semi-structured interview, and a “file review.” This means that the individual’s criminal and psychological records are included in the evaluation. In other words, the psychopaths are identified by their behavior, not by their answers on a test.
The Gift of Fear
We, of course, don’t want to experience a sociopath’s behavior. We want to avoid them, so they don’t have an opportunity to inflict any damage of any kind. Can we do it?
I believe the answer is yes. The way to avoid a sociopath is to listen to our intuition.
Several people on Lovefraud have posted about a book called The Gift of Fear, by Gavin de Becker. Oprah Winfrey called de Becker the nation’s leading expert on violent behavior, and his company helps hundreds of people, including celebrities, stay away from stalkers and other predators.
De Becker’s whole point in The Gift of Fear is this: Your intuition will tell you about danger. Listen to it.
I can back this assertion up with data. In the Lovefraud Romantic Partner Survey, conducted earlier this year, I asked the following question: “In the beginning of the involvement, did you have a gut feeling or intuition that something wasn’t right about the person or the relationship?”
Seventy-one percent of respondents said yes. Let me repeat that: 71% of people who became involved with sociopaths knew early on that something was wrong. Unfortunately, most of them stayed in the relationship anyway.
Trust your intuition
I think it’s unlikely that an accurate paper-and-pencil test for spotting sociopaths will ever be developed. However, we all have a built-in early warning system. The system isn’t designed to identify sociopaths in an abstract sense; it’s designed to warn us when we are in the presence of danger.
Here are the three steps to protecting yourself from sociopaths:
- Know that sociopaths exist.
- Know the warning signs of sociopathic behavior.
- Trust your intuition.
The key is to pay attention to the warning signals that we receive. But often we don’t. We doubt ourselves. We give the person another chance. We wait for hard evidence. In the end, we are damaged and filled with regrets.
Would listening to their intuition have saved Russell Williams’ victims? We’ll never know. But Gavin de Becker did relate a story about a woman who was assaulted in her apartment. The assailant told her to be quiet, promised he wouldn’t hurt her, and left the room. The woman, filled with fear, didn’t listen to him. She listened to her intuition and slipped away. The guy returned with a kitchen knife, intending to kill her. But she was gone.
Coping,
Thanks for advice.
I just feel all sorts of funky. Ever since the socio, my emotions/anxiety/fear hit me all at once – like in a big blob. It’s really like being fractured.
If she sends the money on his behalf, fine. But, I have to protect my family. That’s my priority.
MiLo,
He didn’t have an overwhelmingly strong odor, and it wasn’t the smell of food cooking in oil. It reminded me a lot of heated clean canola/vegetable oil on the stovetop or a deep fryer with a musky overtone. I noticed mostly when I was up close and personal. I’m talking about hugging him, laying together on the sofa, washing his laundry, laying on the same sheets and blankets. The pillows absolutely radiated his scent.
I think people who maintain a conversational distance (the social “bubble”) from you probably can’t smell your peanut oil cream or it is very faint.
Darwinsmom
I had a little thin skin showing didn’t I. Not very adult of me. I felt dismissed after I posted about abused kids growing up into highly intuitive adults. Well, in spite of empirical evidence this afternoon, I AM working on that thin skin personal characteristic. But I obviously knee jerked this time, and kept knee jerking. Apologies to you. And yes, I meant I would ponder your thoughts. There’s a lot of good info to reflect on.
Purewaters,
I’d bet she is a psychopath.
She sounds like my mom.
The females can be VERY different from the males. Take the money, but be careful, make sure the check says WHAT IT’S FOR. Include the months that it applies to, her son’s name and the words, back-child support.
Female spaths like that are less dangerous because they don’t have the balls that the males do. But they CAN hurt you worse emotionally, if you don’t know what you are dealing with.
I think you will be ok, since you have so much knowledge now. Play your cards close, loose lips sink ships.
Good advice, Skylar.
I am a little surprised because she could’ve just written a check to the attorney general’s office. I was under the assumption that he would be sending them a check, then it would be disbursed to me…
She did ask for my address. Perhaps, she’s just preparing to serve me papers.
Oh, well. I won’t know until it all happens. And, if she does send me a check, I will make sure it says back support on it, and consult the attorney general’s office before I cash it.
Grindingforward,
welcome. You can tell us more about your story as you feel comfortable.
I agree that the people who observe the evil behavior and excuse it, are as much a problem as the spaths themselves. In fact, when the spath says, “because I can.” he really means, “because people let me, I’m special.”
When everyone stops letting them get away with their evil, they will self-destruct. Unfortunately, most people either don’t understand that or they enjoy watching malicious behavior, so they join in or stand by. The article in http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2011/10/26/murder-runs-in-the-family/ is a good example of that. The kids just let the murder happen. They should all go to jail.
Darwinsmom,
the serial murderer who gave me a ride was later interviewed and said that he only killed whores because they are “human garbage” and he was cleaning up the streets. Lots of these spaths will give themselves excuses for what they do. They are “story-driven characters” and they cannot deviate from their story without a new one. If they do, their fragile little world falls apart.
I was 15 and he had killed many girls my age. He picked me up, made chit chat and then asked, “how much?” I gave him a condescending look and held up my thumb, “See this thumb? It means I need a ride. That’s ALL it means.” He got a sheepish look on his face and said, “I’m sorry, I guess I’m just a horny toad.” Then he pointed to a toy toad on his dash. It depicted a large toad being mounted by a much smaller frog. He said, “See, I’m the big toad.”
Earlier I said that my intuition didn’t kick in on that encounter. But actually, for about a split second it did. I was comfortable at first, but when I held up my thumb and asked, “See this?” for a split second I got the overwhelming feeling that he wanted to cut it off. But it was too late because I was already in the middle of bitching him out and wasn’t about to stop. Then when he apologized, he got this pathetic look on his face – the pity ploy – and I felt really bad for being mean. Goes to show you though, it’s best to stand up to a bully. Even if you’re a little girl. He didn’t kill me because, as you said, he figured out that I didn’t meet the profile.
Sky
What a story. At age 15.
Can I ask you a question?
I have put myself in a dangerous position before. Many times as an older teenager (18-22) and again in recent years, I have intentionally antagonized and egged on my spath////I know I was just a hair away from getting killed. You’ve done the same thing.
Why?
What made you do it? What made me do it?
I’m not stupid. Neither are you.
Superkid
Superkid,
you and I have discussed this before from a different perspective.
We talked about the article on a different website which proposed that spaths have no increase in guilt when they behave badly (compared to the control subjects) because they already have a constantly higher level of guilt (shame) compared to the control subjects. My theory is that they behave badly to try to make the exterior world MATCH their interior feelings. Sandy Hotchkiss said, “they feel overwhelming shame, so they behave shamelessly”
I came to that conclusion because I feel that I put myself in dangerous positions as a child because I already felt afraid. I was trying to make my world experience match what I felt inside. My fear came from being raised by spaths and never feeling safe.
So I went to talk to the woman in financial planning. She’s saying my dad made an agreement with the school to do a deferred payment, which means he has until December 15 to pay for this semester. He then for next semester has to apply for a PLUS Loan for the spring. The woman stated that at my current college it’s impossible to be an independent because the school doesn’t have an abundance of money like a state college. She also mentioned that I have to have an EXTRANEOUS case in order to be considered as an independent. I told her that I was homeless but she mentioned that there’s a listed address. She also noticed that last year my dad kept up with his payments. The woman also mentioned that I may have a case with my mother not being present here in the United States but its too late to override the dependency. Basically, I have to keep in contact with him for FAFSA and if he pays by law then he pays. I just want to do what’s best for me for once. I’m tired of him lying to people. He says ” Oh, I think I’m an adult.” God knows when my mom left I had to put on my adult pants to even step foot on this campus! He also knows that its just me. I don’t have mom or dad giving me gifts, picking me up, or even giving me a call. Its sad but its the MF truth.