Russell Williams was a colonel in the Canadian Forces, a pilot who flew dignitaries including Queen Elizabeth II, and commander of the largest airbase in Canada. That is, until he was arrested for breaking into women’s homes and stealing their underwear, sexual assault and murdering two young women.
Lovefraud has written about Williams before: For Halloween: A real monster who liked to dress up.
The question, of course, is how did such a predator achieve the rank of colonel? Should he have been flagged along the way? How was it that Williams received nothing but stellar reviews, and turned out to be a murderer?
The Canadian Forces, stunned by what happened, launched an inquiry into how candidates are selected for senior command positions. Could enhanced psychological testing have revealed Williams’ true nature? Here’s what Macleans reported:
The answer, sadly, is no. Among hundreds of pages of internal military documents, obtained by Maclean’s under the Access to Information Act, is a draft version of that review. It confirms what leading experts have long maintained: there is no off-the-shelf exam that employers, armed forces or otherwise, can use to detect sociopathic killers. “Given the recent events in CFB Trenton, it is natural for the CF to question whether or not the organization could have identified a sexual sadist or predicted that an individual would become a serial sexual murderer,” the report says. But that “would be unrealistic to expect.”
Read There’s no way to spot another Russell Williams on Yahoo.com.
It’s probably true that no one could have spotted Williams. His case, however, is highly unusual. As I wrote in Sudden psychopath: The horrifying yet strange case of Col. Russell Williams, this case is unique in that Williams showed no signs of disorder before he suddenly became a sexual pervert and predator. Unlike most sociopaths, he didn’t have a history of lying, cheating and abusing. That’s why his case is so weird.
Judged by behavior
Although I don’t know much about the various psychological tests that are available, I doubt that any self-report inventory, where the subject answers questions about himself or herself, would work. After all, sociopaths lie. They lie about everything, so of course they’re going to lie on a personality test. Even if the test is designed to spot inconsistencies, how would anyone know which part is true?
To diagnose sociopaths, you need to know about their behavior. Most sociopaths leave a lifelong trail of destruction, ranging from overt crime to subtle emotional and psychological abuse. Dr. Robert Hare developed the Psychopathy Checklist Revised (PCL-R), and it has become the gold standard for diagnosing psychopaths (the term he uses). The PCL-R has two parts—a semi-structured interview, and a “file review.” This means that the individual’s criminal and psychological records are included in the evaluation. In other words, the psychopaths are identified by their behavior, not by their answers on a test.
The Gift of Fear
We, of course, don’t want to experience a sociopath’s behavior. We want to avoid them, so they don’t have an opportunity to inflict any damage of any kind. Can we do it?
I believe the answer is yes. The way to avoid a sociopath is to listen to our intuition.
Several people on Lovefraud have posted about a book called The Gift of Fear, by Gavin de Becker. Oprah Winfrey called de Becker the nation’s leading expert on violent behavior, and his company helps hundreds of people, including celebrities, stay away from stalkers and other predators.
De Becker’s whole point in The Gift of Fear is this: Your intuition will tell you about danger. Listen to it.
I can back this assertion up with data. In the Lovefraud Romantic Partner Survey, conducted earlier this year, I asked the following question: “In the beginning of the involvement, did you have a gut feeling or intuition that something wasn’t right about the person or the relationship?”
Seventy-one percent of respondents said yes. Let me repeat that: 71% of people who became involved with sociopaths knew early on that something was wrong. Unfortunately, most of them stayed in the relationship anyway.
Trust your intuition
I think it’s unlikely that an accurate paper-and-pencil test for spotting sociopaths will ever be developed. However, we all have a built-in early warning system. The system isn’t designed to identify sociopaths in an abstract sense; it’s designed to warn us when we are in the presence of danger.
Here are the three steps to protecting yourself from sociopaths:
- Know that sociopaths exist.
- Know the warning signs of sociopathic behavior.
- Trust your intuition.
The key is to pay attention to the warning signals that we receive. But often we don’t. We doubt ourselves. We give the person another chance. We wait for hard evidence. In the end, we are damaged and filled with regrets.
Would listening to their intuition have saved Russell Williams’ victims? We’ll never know. But Gavin de Becker did relate a story about a woman who was assaulted in her apartment. The assailant told her to be quiet, promised he wouldn’t hurt her, and left the room. The woman, filled with fear, didn’t listen to him. She listened to her intuition and slipped away. The guy returned with a kitchen knife, intending to kill her. But she was gone.
DancingWarrior
Yeah. . . been there Oxy. . .
She’s done STUPID stuff with me, but I fought her. And she is so stupid, that I won. F*(%^ her!
She took away a class I wanted to teach, and am good at, and kids/parents like me–JUST to spite me and hurt me. This only because I exposed her to her boss for yelling at me in front of kids, and then I joined the union bec. I wanted to learn how to stop corrupt bureaucrats from bullying people. She was mortified to be exposed and brought down on the carpet to her superior because I stood up to her.
Then when she wanted to see me grovel for the class and laughed in my face saying, “What are you going to do, Dancing?” like a hyena, I wrote a memo to her, cc-ing principal asking for a meeting.
Super calm and professional I outlined my rationale, and collaborative suggestions to address the issue, and all along respectfully accepted her decision.
Again, she had to be in front of the principal, while I simply spoke my piece.
Then I went home for the summer.
When I returned, the class she took away was back in my schedule.
I beat her at her game, and now she knows that I will fight her.
I am a competent employee, and there is nothing she can get me on.
But she needles. And if I speak up as any normal human would as we all have the ability and right to epress thoughts, opinions or suggestions, she is always defensive and rigid.. .
Ox Drover
Good for you, Dancing! Glad you were able to stand your ground! Playing “politics” in your job is difficult, I know. I hate doing it, glad I no longer have to do it. LOL
Yea, the needling is a pain in the arse too, but if you know that is all that she can get away with, as long as you don’t allow it to get to you, let it wash off your back like water off a duck’s back….it really doesn’t do any harm! (((hugs)))
DancingWarrior
Ox,
THREE emails from spath X.
🙁
I clicked delete as I don’t want to get upset. One of them said “contempt” in subject line. I feel he’s just blowing lots of hot air and acting like a big stupid bully.
My lawyer is handling the deed. THe move is scheduled for next weekend and I’ll deliver his stuff.
I’ll let the lawyer do what’s necessry. X can feel free to file contempt. I’ll take photos of every single item I gave him and check of his stupid list. Serves him right for lying on his stupid list about the value of items.
I hate being strong armed into doing things. I am legally bound by his list as it’s added to agreement and suupposedly called “schedule A” though it doesnt’ say anywhere “schedule A” so I could act stupid and say, where is schedule A????
And I delivered 99.9% of items. Stupid man.
Ox Drover
Dancing Warrior,
I know you will be glad to get it over and done with as much as possible! dick wad!!!!
Seeing you become a WARRIOR has been gratifying, Dancing! I wish you well in your continued fight with him and you being able to get on with your life and let him “stew in his own juice.” TOWANDA!!!!
coping
Milo- I just read your blog- I never really knew the story. That is horrible and disgusting! Yes… I believe she should be in jail! Incomprehensible! That poor baby! No wonder you know so much about this stuff. These stories always make me so sad. Yes, give grand jr.. A big hug.
God bless!
tobeme
Hello,
I am a new poster yet, not new to “Love fraud”. I think it has been two years now I have been reading the blogs , books and any thing I can educate myself, so I can defend what life I have left. I had an addiction to the sociopath. I needed to be associated with one, weather female or male. I have been away from my very last one, for awhile. ( Wow it has been almost six months!! I can’t believe that I had to go back and read what it was I was remarking on. I was taken back by the length of time. who ha.
O.k. Like I said I was so familure with the sociopath that I needed them in my life in order to fer-fill what my own mother prophesy of what and who I was as a person.
Also, what I believed what love was. So I was actually following my instincts. I was doing just what I learned growing up. I knew no other way, love was a beating. Some where deep inside I knew it wasn’t right. I still followed the game rules. My story is a very sad story. Yes, every one has a story, I agree.
I had thought this year, turning the big fifty things were going to change. No!
However, I have changed, it took many years, many tears and a lot of research.
I had to take the time to know who I was, instead of carrying on as the person I was told I was. I started to like me, I realized I was not the things I was told I was. I looked up the word love and many others. That is where I saw She was a Lie!
This battle was going on with in my soul from when I was just a kid.
I had my first loving relationship with myself. Believe me this was a process, a long one at that.
We all have been there, so I will get to the messege that I really would like to stress over. Your instincts will tell you if some one is up to no good. I have finally developed enough self worth to trust my instincts. Course I had to take a few small defeats before I gave in to trusting my own instincts. Why must some need to bang our heads before we give in ?
skylar
Dancing,
that hot rage in the pit of your stomach is adrenaline. You are going into fight or flight mode because you know you are under attack. It’s too bad you can’t just kick her ass, it would be healthier than swallowing it….But alas.
When that happens you might want to go work it off physically if you have the opportunity.
I used to be easily triggered by spathy behavior. It would infuriate me. Now, mostly, I stay completely detached and just observe the person as though they were a specimen. I take mental notes of the behavior and analyze it later. The more I do this, the more comical these spaths seem to me. That’s why I started calling them evil clowns.
The fact that their self-worth is based on making you feel bad, is pathetic and clownlike behavior. A clown’s self-worth revolves around eliciting emotions from his audience, JUST LIKE A SPATH!
Think of them as pathetic and evil clowns and laugh.
callmeathena
ToBeMe
Welcome. I wish you peace.
Athena
ErinBrock
“Your instincts will tell you if some one is up to no good.”
ErinBrock
Anyone need a beer?