Russell Williams was a colonel in the Canadian Forces, a pilot who flew dignitaries including Queen Elizabeth II, and commander of the largest airbase in Canada. That is, until he was arrested for breaking into women’s homes and stealing their underwear, sexual assault and murdering two young women.
Lovefraud has written about Williams before: For Halloween: A real monster who liked to dress up.
The question, of course, is how did such a predator achieve the rank of colonel? Should he have been flagged along the way? How was it that Williams received nothing but stellar reviews, and turned out to be a murderer?
The Canadian Forces, stunned by what happened, launched an inquiry into how candidates are selected for senior command positions. Could enhanced psychological testing have revealed Williams’ true nature? Here’s what Macleans reported:
The answer, sadly, is no. Among hundreds of pages of internal military documents, obtained by Maclean’s under the Access to Information Act, is a draft version of that review. It confirms what leading experts have long maintained: there is no off-the-shelf exam that employers, armed forces or otherwise, can use to detect sociopathic killers. “Given the recent events in CFB Trenton, it is natural for the CF to question whether or not the organization could have identified a sexual sadist or predicted that an individual would become a serial sexual murderer,” the report says. But that “would be unrealistic to expect.”
Read There’s no way to spot another Russell Williams on Yahoo.com.
It’s probably true that no one could have spotted Williams. His case, however, is highly unusual. As I wrote in Sudden psychopath: The horrifying yet strange case of Col. Russell Williams, this case is unique in that Williams showed no signs of disorder before he suddenly became a sexual pervert and predator. Unlike most sociopaths, he didn’t have a history of lying, cheating and abusing. That’s why his case is so weird.
Judged by behavior
Although I don’t know much about the various psychological tests that are available, I doubt that any self-report inventory, where the subject answers questions about himself or herself, would work. After all, sociopaths lie. They lie about everything, so of course they’re going to lie on a personality test. Even if the test is designed to spot inconsistencies, how would anyone know which part is true?
To diagnose sociopaths, you need to know about their behavior. Most sociopaths leave a lifelong trail of destruction, ranging from overt crime to subtle emotional and psychological abuse. Dr. Robert Hare developed the Psychopathy Checklist Revised (PCL-R), and it has become the gold standard for diagnosing psychopaths (the term he uses). The PCL-R has two parts—a semi-structured interview, and a “file review.” This means that the individual’s criminal and psychological records are included in the evaluation. In other words, the psychopaths are identified by their behavior, not by their answers on a test.
The Gift of Fear
We, of course, don’t want to experience a sociopath’s behavior. We want to avoid them, so they don’t have an opportunity to inflict any damage of any kind. Can we do it?
I believe the answer is yes. The way to avoid a sociopath is to listen to our intuition.
Several people on Lovefraud have posted about a book called The Gift of Fear, by Gavin de Becker. Oprah Winfrey called de Becker the nation’s leading expert on violent behavior, and his company helps hundreds of people, including celebrities, stay away from stalkers and other predators.
De Becker’s whole point in The Gift of Fear is this: Your intuition will tell you about danger. Listen to it.
I can back this assertion up with data. In the Lovefraud Romantic Partner Survey, conducted earlier this year, I asked the following question: “In the beginning of the involvement, did you have a gut feeling or intuition that something wasn’t right about the person or the relationship?”
Seventy-one percent of respondents said yes. Let me repeat that: 71% of people who became involved with sociopaths knew early on that something was wrong. Unfortunately, most of them stayed in the relationship anyway.
Trust your intuition
I think it’s unlikely that an accurate paper-and-pencil test for spotting sociopaths will ever be developed. However, we all have a built-in early warning system. The system isn’t designed to identify sociopaths in an abstract sense; it’s designed to warn us when we are in the presence of danger.
Here are the three steps to protecting yourself from sociopaths:
- Know that sociopaths exist.
- Know the warning signs of sociopathic behavior.
- Trust your intuition.
The key is to pay attention to the warning signals that we receive. But often we don’t. We doubt ourselves. We give the person another chance. We wait for hard evidence. In the end, we are damaged and filled with regrets.
Would listening to their intuition have saved Russell Williams’ victims? We’ll never know. But Gavin de Becker did relate a story about a woman who was assaulted in her apartment. The assailant told her to be quiet, promised he wouldn’t hurt her, and left the room. The woman, filled with fear, didn’t listen to him. She listened to her intuition and slipped away. The guy returned with a kitchen knife, intending to kill her. But she was gone.
I have posted this comment already in Past Whisperers blog, but would love to hear your comments on it, as well!
I am dealing with a person right now in my life who gives me a strong gut feeling of being a sociopath. It is the kind of feeling I get whenever I am confronted with the very sick workings of sociopathic minds. I feel sick and very very scared just thinking of meeting him.
I have had longer and shorter relationships with Sociopaths and until now I could always detect their “off” vibes from the start. Even though chose to ignore those signs often enough.
BUT this one makes me (still) question my own instincts – wondering if he is not a Sociopath at all -, for two reasons:
1.) He (seemingly) genuinely blushed. That was after I said to him in a moment of revelation that I usually would not let anybody stay with me in my flat (which I offered him after he had asked me because he has no place to stay right now), but that I am having a really good feeling about him. As a response he said: “Oh I also have never asked someone this spontanously if I could stay with them. But I just thought about asking you, and it felt good about it and then I thought, why not?” And he blushed.
So I am wondering if you think that a Sociopath was capable of faking a blush?
2.) The first time we met was during an art class. I sat as a model for a short session and he as well as others drew my portrait. He only drew my eyes and he really caught them very well. He was the only person who caught my character in his drawings. All the other drawings of the other people there, were more shallow than his. His had soul.
Do you think a sociopath could be able to capture the sould of another person in his drawings?
” in the beginning of our aquaintanceship I had a really good feeling about him (He felt the opposite of anything a sociopath feels like) ”“ he seemed like a genuinely real and sincere person.
Now things are completely different ”“ his behaviour has now changed suddenly and for no obvious reason to disregarding indifference and outright meanness. But I am still not getting it. My senses still tell me that his sincerety in the beginning was not fake. Which is honestly in the light of what happened later a more disturbing thought than assuming that everything what he did was fake.
Without relating all the other experiences (good and disturbing) I had with that guy ”“ do you think a Sociopathic person could be capable of the blushing and the soulful drawing?
It seems to me you are trying to hold on for proof that he is genuine. I think you should be looking at the disturbing part. What is disturbing you? Maybe he’s not a spath, but toxic in another way
Ox, yes, she is needy. (I am too but that’s another story). I was jumping all over her about this guy. Run don’t walk!!
I just know my limits. I am suffering my own stupidity. I can’t suffer hers too. And I desperatly want to see her spared.
Athena
Sunshine
That he asked if he can stay with you is one big red flag.
That he is now mean to you is another huge red flag.
How many red flags do you require before you run?
Athena
@callmeathena:
Oh I have run alright – told him to stay away. We might only run into each other at art class. In case he approaches me there, I am prepared to tell him again to stay away from me in front of everyone else. And the rest is just about ignoring him and never letting my guard down with him again.
@darwinsmom:
No it is not so much looking for prove that he is genuine. It is about understanding how much I can trust my own intuition and understanding of human nature. I know I cannot trust this guy – even if he might be a genuine and sincere Part-timer. You have to be a full-timer – only then you are trustworthy.
@Athena:
Is there a list of certain red flag signs that I can read up upon?
Sunshine,
We discuss red flags here all the time. Donna is writing a book about it and it will be out soon.
Your “friend” sounds borderline. They have many of the same “symptoms” as spaths except they do have emotion and empathy at times. They are exceedingly insecure so they will treat you hot then cold and put you on a roller coaster.
I’m glad that you have cut off the relationshit, you don’t need the drama – right?
I also admire that you have the wherewhithal to ask yourself how this toxic person slipped by your radar. Very good.
That’s where the questions about THEM, turn into questions about OURSELVES. Early in this thread the conversation was about how our intuition warns us but when we are love bombed, it seems to “neutralize” that intuition. His drawing of your eyes and “soul” was a love-bomb. It appealed to your desire to be known deeply.
I’m assuming that you posed nude for the class? In order to do that, you have to have a certain amount of self-esteem and confidence about your body – to allow yourself to be so vulnerable in front of so many. Even if you didn’t pose nude, a portrait is a personal thing. He realized this and made you feel that he was “special” by only drawing your eyes. It was a message that said, “I see the real you, where others only see your body.” Ironically, by NOT drawing your body, he crossed your personal boundaries (drawing your soul) and you let him.
hmmmm…. the more I think about it, the more I believe he is a spath and not borderline. The amount of conniving it took to get past your defenses, is spath-worthy.
@skylar – na it wasnt nude. But i get what you mean.
I have wondered myself if in fact he is a crazy borderline. And that really is for the fact that he captured my character in the eyes. My intuition simply tells me that a person without any empathy (a true sociopath) would just not be able to do that. Does anyone disagree?
… and also the blushing. Can you fake a blush?
Whatever the eyes were – they certainly worked as a love bomb. It was no romantical interest though, but he felt like a dear friend to me. And I have really high standards of who I hold dear.
SunshineBlue,
There are various LEVELS of psychopaths….so I wouldn’t say one could NOT blush….but blushing might not mean the same thing to them that it did to us….but the man is TOXIC and just because he is a talented artist doesn’t mean that he isn’t a psychopath….lots of very famous and very talented artists have been very high in psychopathic traits.
“My intuition simply tells me that a person without any empathy (a true sociopath) would just not be able to do that. Does anyone disagree?”
I disagree… sociopaths mirror our personalities and desires rapidly and quickly without even knowing much about us… like a chamoleon they become a person we would like, without even us telling what we like. And yet they have no empathy. Reflecting something like a mirror, whether it is a drawing of your eyes or your desires, apparently does not require empathy at all.