Russell Williams was a colonel in the Canadian Forces, a pilot who flew dignitaries including Queen Elizabeth II, and commander of the largest airbase in Canada. That is, until he was arrested for breaking into women’s homes and stealing their underwear, sexual assault and murdering two young women.
Lovefraud has written about Williams before: For Halloween: A real monster who liked to dress up.
The question, of course, is how did such a predator achieve the rank of colonel? Should he have been flagged along the way? How was it that Williams received nothing but stellar reviews, and turned out to be a murderer?
The Canadian Forces, stunned by what happened, launched an inquiry into how candidates are selected for senior command positions. Could enhanced psychological testing have revealed Williams’ true nature? Here’s what Macleans reported:
The answer, sadly, is no. Among hundreds of pages of internal military documents, obtained by Maclean’s under the Access to Information Act, is a draft version of that review. It confirms what leading experts have long maintained: there is no off-the-shelf exam that employers, armed forces or otherwise, can use to detect sociopathic killers. “Given the recent events in CFB Trenton, it is natural for the CF to question whether or not the organization could have identified a sexual sadist or predicted that an individual would become a serial sexual murderer,” the report says. But that “would be unrealistic to expect.”
Read There’s no way to spot another Russell Williams on Yahoo.com.
It’s probably true that no one could have spotted Williams. His case, however, is highly unusual. As I wrote in Sudden psychopath: The horrifying yet strange case of Col. Russell Williams, this case is unique in that Williams showed no signs of disorder before he suddenly became a sexual pervert and predator. Unlike most sociopaths, he didn’t have a history of lying, cheating and abusing. That’s why his case is so weird.
Judged by behavior
Although I don’t know much about the various psychological tests that are available, I doubt that any self-report inventory, where the subject answers questions about himself or herself, would work. After all, sociopaths lie. They lie about everything, so of course they’re going to lie on a personality test. Even if the test is designed to spot inconsistencies, how would anyone know which part is true?
To diagnose sociopaths, you need to know about their behavior. Most sociopaths leave a lifelong trail of destruction, ranging from overt crime to subtle emotional and psychological abuse. Dr. Robert Hare developed the Psychopathy Checklist Revised (PCL-R), and it has become the gold standard for diagnosing psychopaths (the term he uses). The PCL-R has two parts—a semi-structured interview, and a “file review.” This means that the individual’s criminal and psychological records are included in the evaluation. In other words, the psychopaths are identified by their behavior, not by their answers on a test.
The Gift of Fear
We, of course, don’t want to experience a sociopath’s behavior. We want to avoid them, so they don’t have an opportunity to inflict any damage of any kind. Can we do it?
I believe the answer is yes. The way to avoid a sociopath is to listen to our intuition.
Several people on Lovefraud have posted about a book called The Gift of Fear, by Gavin de Becker. Oprah Winfrey called de Becker the nation’s leading expert on violent behavior, and his company helps hundreds of people, including celebrities, stay away from stalkers and other predators.
De Becker’s whole point in The Gift of Fear is this: Your intuition will tell you about danger. Listen to it.
I can back this assertion up with data. In the Lovefraud Romantic Partner Survey, conducted earlier this year, I asked the following question: “In the beginning of the involvement, did you have a gut feeling or intuition that something wasn’t right about the person or the relationship?”
Seventy-one percent of respondents said yes. Let me repeat that: 71% of people who became involved with sociopaths knew early on that something was wrong. Unfortunately, most of them stayed in the relationship anyway.
Trust your intuition
I think it’s unlikely that an accurate paper-and-pencil test for spotting sociopaths will ever be developed. However, we all have a built-in early warning system. The system isn’t designed to identify sociopaths in an abstract sense; it’s designed to warn us when we are in the presence of danger.
Here are the three steps to protecting yourself from sociopaths:
- Know that sociopaths exist.
- Know the warning signs of sociopathic behavior.
- Trust your intuition.
The key is to pay attention to the warning signals that we receive. But often we don’t. We doubt ourselves. We give the person another chance. We wait for hard evidence. In the end, we are damaged and filled with regrets.
Would listening to their intuition have saved Russell Williams’ victims? We’ll never know. But Gavin de Becker did relate a story about a woman who was assaulted in her apartment. The assailant told her to be quiet, promised he wouldn’t hurt her, and left the room. The woman, filled with fear, didn’t listen to him. She listened to her intuition and slipped away. The guy returned with a kitchen knife, intending to kill her. But she was gone.
Okay so I spoke to the financial lady last year and she’s saying it appears he has to pay for college as a form of child support. She looked at the payments made and it was on time. I also did not speak to him during that time. She suggests that I call Legal Aid of Maryland and google different forms of child support. I have found that in the state I use to reside it, it can be a form of child support if both parties agree or the child is disabled for post secondary schooling. If he doesn’t have to pay for college, it looks like I have to apply for a student loan to finish up here. But the college I attend is very pricey which means I have to transfer next school year to an in state school. Education is important to me and to better myself. I just hope I get the truth and move from there. I just want my business degree and open my own fashion boutique. So tomorrow I’m going to see a woman in Financial office and call Legal Aid. Please keep me in your prayers! 🙂
purewaters3:
A sense of humor is good. We all need that! 🙂
Hmmmm, I don’t know. I think they are more manipulative than psychic. Sometimes I think WE are so into them and so much in love with them that WE are the ones who become somewhat psychic…does that make sense to anyone?
skylar:
Wow is right!! How creepy! Shudders!
Yes, Louise, that is what I think too. I think it’s our subconscious trying to help us by warning us or by making us understand.
Darwinsmom,
What you explained is very logical and balanced.. It’s been very hard for me to tell my “behind from elbow” so to speak, because I WAS so tuned in. Leaving the relationship literally felt like splitting myself in half.
” So, I think purewater that with all the observing you did of your spath (because of hypervigilance) your subconscious is able to tell you when he’ll try to contact you, and tries to give you a warning he will. This seems freaky, but is actually a helpful thing. It can be seen as a ’headstart’, so that by the time he does call you, you’ll be more in control of yourself and less surprised. It’s an aid to avoid you beign taken off guard by him.”
I sometimes wonder if I’m not still reliving a panic response to the fear of being with him? Like some kind of “panic bond”.
I literally felt panic and fear for the majority the latter part of the relationship. Like a panic signal constantly firing, I couldn’t tell what was the panic or what was my intuition anymore. Also, like I mentioned before, he was really down deep in my life/heart/mind… I could feel him around and the strange extraordinary stuff that at first made me feel bonded, became a source of greif and terror.
And, unfortunately, the dreams and premonitions I have now always spawn more emotional stuff… like sadness, greif, fear, anger, etc.
If this makes any sense 😛
20 years:
“It is too hard for me, at this time, to get my mind around “destiny” or” why I might be tricked or fooled into being with someone who is psychopathic, when yes absolutely there are deep, spiritual lessons to be had from the experience. So, in the end, will it turn out to be true that these were lessons I had chosen to learn in this lifetime? I am still on the fence about what to make of all of that.”
I am on the fence about this, too. As it’s hard for me to accept that if there’s a loving God, why would he send someone to almost completely soul-destroy me?
I do accept some responsibility here, because I had a lot of warning signals. And, the last time when he went to Texas, and was supposed to stay there for good… he called me 3 days later and wanted me to help him get back.
God really, really put it down on me to not give in and go back again, and I had really moved on at that point (I felt really positive)… and then I stupidly gave in and bought him a plane ticket home. He never paid me back, of course. And, 1 week later I was pregnant.
Yep.
I’m not too bright. But, still get angry about the whole way this plays into God and spirituality.
I understand… I’m sure that my predictive intial deam about my spath was a warning though. Trouble with dreams is that the only thing that is NOT symbolical are the emotions you feel during the dream, and it’s exactly those emotions in a spath relationship that are confusing us. We can’t explain them and feel so strong and that’s when we start to think ‘destiny’ and such.
I know it’s hard not to feel things, for us. But that’s why I gave you the ‘you get a headstart’ explanation for you. Just a question… when had the sign he was gonna contact you, you probably were very emotional based on that. But what happened when he did contact you? Were you able to gain more control? Had the emotional reaction lessened? If so, try to compare the actual response to him when he contacted you and your initial response at warning he would contact you? Which one would you prefer him to have witnessed?
PS I’m spiritual, but not a believer of the supernatural nor destiny. And whenever I was compelled to believe something was destiny purely based on emotions in my life, I learned that I had it wrong. It were important encounters to learn something out of it, to help me on my truer path… but my emotions made more of it than necessary and tried to hold on, using ‘it’s destiny feelings’ as an argument. I was proven wrong each time. I could have spared myself a whole lot of extra unnecessary hurt without it.
Anyway, whatever your beleifs of the source… you can use the alternative insights (psychic or subconscious) to your advantage, as a form of intuition to help you.
Seriously 20 years,
those are my thoughts as well. If nobody believes us when we tell them what ACTUALLY happened, who is going to believe us if we start up with the dreams and psychobabble. BUT we can’t deny it to ourselves.
On that note, I had another dream just a few days ago. It was funny and bizarre. I was in the back seat of my car (not a car I recognize but it was mine) with… are you ready….? get this: Ziggy, that loveable cartoon character.
Yes, it didn’t seem strange to me in the dream that I was talking and interacting with a life sized, 2-dimensional cardboard cutout. Anyway, he wanted to drive, but I wanted to go to sleep. It was night time and I was tired so I gave him the keys and told him he could drive. Unfortunately, he had some kind of accident, I can’t remember what kind. The end result was that I had to go to court because it was my car and I was responsible. I told some people that it was Ziggy who was driving, but as I was explaining to them, I realized how utterly unbelievable it was to them that there was a cartoon character driving my car. And that if I went to court with that story, I would not be believed.
I woke up laughing. It’s not hard to translate the dream. The car represents my life and the direction it took. I gave the keys to my life to a spath. Spaths are 2-dimensional cartoon characters with no depth. He did look innocent and loveable, like Ziggy. I gave up control of my life to an imaginary character because I was tired and wanted to rest. It caused all kinds of trouble in my life and no matter who I tell the truth to, nobody is going to believe it.
Darwinsmom,
I’m assuming this is for me and not 20 years…
“But what happened when he did contact you? Were you able to gain more control? Had the emotional reaction lessened? If so, try to compare the actual response to him when he contacted you and your initial response at warning he would contact you? Which one would you prefer him to have witnessed? ”
I’ll try to remember specifically… the time with the premonition of the black figure was spooky, and when he called I always felt like doomed, nervous and maybe a little relieved and happy?
With him I felt in love but afraid all the same time. It was a mix of belonging, safety, and abuse all mixed into one thing. He would call me and demand me to be with him, or to pick him up somewhere… it was almost always in his control and in his terms. And, don’t even ask me how he got me so brainwashed… I probably couldn’t completely explain.
When I was pregnant, I tried going no contact. When he would contact me, he would be sweet at first, and then say the most horrifically terrible things… I always felt anxiety when he contacted me because there was no reasoning with him, he could get angry, say something terrible, hang up/call back, or call if I didn’t answer repeatedly until he would get a reaction…
So, I guess it was a duality of things there… some part of me felt relief because I hoped we could reconcile through speaking, but there was another part that just felt totally fearful and doomed, scared.
If I compared the premonitions to the feelings I had when he contacted me… I suppose they are similar. Yes. It’s a mix of remaining love, and fear, and hurt, anger… just a whole ocean full of turbulence there. It is similar.
Was I able to gain more control when he contacted me? I suppose in a way, yes. Because something about being with him and believing or pretending things could be or would be normal was better than the chaos standing ahead of me… I didn’t always know what he was or how to fix the situation I was in… I can thank Dr. Phil shows for turning me onto the term “sociopath”… before that I was lost.
“If so, try to compare the actual response to him when he contacted you and your initial response at warning he would contact you? Which one would you prefer him to have witnessed?”
I would have prefered him to witness the reaction I have from the premonition – because I would have run in the opposite direction! I was so pliable with him, so much like a zombie, so weak with him… I didn’t have it in me to resist, I just didn’t understand what he was.
I would have said… get the hell away. Or, something nastier… Actually, I would have just changed my phone number and left town earlier than I did 😀
And, I think I just got what you are saying Darwinsmom…
The INITIAL response to the premonition, like the freaked out sick feeling… compared to the actual response to the sociopath…
Maybe you are basically saying that my intuition was trying to JAR me AWAKE! Gotcha.