Russell Williams was a colonel in the Canadian Forces, a pilot who flew dignitaries including Queen Elizabeth II, and commander of the largest airbase in Canada. That is, until he was arrested for breaking into women’s homes and stealing their underwear, sexual assault and murdering two young women.
Lovefraud has written about Williams before: For Halloween: A real monster who liked to dress up.
The question, of course, is how did such a predator achieve the rank of colonel? Should he have been flagged along the way? How was it that Williams received nothing but stellar reviews, and turned out to be a murderer?
The Canadian Forces, stunned by what happened, launched an inquiry into how candidates are selected for senior command positions. Could enhanced psychological testing have revealed Williams’ true nature? Here’s what Macleans reported:
The answer, sadly, is no. Among hundreds of pages of internal military documents, obtained by Maclean’s under the Access to Information Act, is a draft version of that review. It confirms what leading experts have long maintained: there is no off-the-shelf exam that employers, armed forces or otherwise, can use to detect sociopathic killers. “Given the recent events in CFB Trenton, it is natural for the CF to question whether or not the organization could have identified a sexual sadist or predicted that an individual would become a serial sexual murderer,” the report says. But that “would be unrealistic to expect.”
Read There’s no way to spot another Russell Williams on Yahoo.com.
It’s probably true that no one could have spotted Williams. His case, however, is highly unusual. As I wrote in Sudden psychopath: The horrifying yet strange case of Col. Russell Williams, this case is unique in that Williams showed no signs of disorder before he suddenly became a sexual pervert and predator. Unlike most sociopaths, he didn’t have a history of lying, cheating and abusing. That’s why his case is so weird.
Judged by behavior
Although I don’t know much about the various psychological tests that are available, I doubt that any self-report inventory, where the subject answers questions about himself or herself, would work. After all, sociopaths lie. They lie about everything, so of course they’re going to lie on a personality test. Even if the test is designed to spot inconsistencies, how would anyone know which part is true?
To diagnose sociopaths, you need to know about their behavior. Most sociopaths leave a lifelong trail of destruction, ranging from overt crime to subtle emotional and psychological abuse. Dr. Robert Hare developed the Psychopathy Checklist Revised (PCL-R), and it has become the gold standard for diagnosing psychopaths (the term he uses). The PCL-R has two parts—a semi-structured interview, and a “file review.” This means that the individual’s criminal and psychological records are included in the evaluation. In other words, the psychopaths are identified by their behavior, not by their answers on a test.
The Gift of Fear
We, of course, don’t want to experience a sociopath’s behavior. We want to avoid them, so they don’t have an opportunity to inflict any damage of any kind. Can we do it?
I believe the answer is yes. The way to avoid a sociopath is to listen to our intuition.
Several people on Lovefraud have posted about a book called The Gift of Fear, by Gavin de Becker. Oprah Winfrey called de Becker the nation’s leading expert on violent behavior, and his company helps hundreds of people, including celebrities, stay away from stalkers and other predators.
De Becker’s whole point in The Gift of Fear is this: Your intuition will tell you about danger. Listen to it.
I can back this assertion up with data. In the Lovefraud Romantic Partner Survey, conducted earlier this year, I asked the following question: “In the beginning of the involvement, did you have a gut feeling or intuition that something wasn’t right about the person or the relationship?”
Seventy-one percent of respondents said yes. Let me repeat that: 71% of people who became involved with sociopaths knew early on that something was wrong. Unfortunately, most of them stayed in the relationship anyway.
Trust your intuition
I think it’s unlikely that an accurate paper-and-pencil test for spotting sociopaths will ever be developed. However, we all have a built-in early warning system. The system isn’t designed to identify sociopaths in an abstract sense; it’s designed to warn us when we are in the presence of danger.
Here are the three steps to protecting yourself from sociopaths:
- Know that sociopaths exist.
- Know the warning signs of sociopathic behavior.
- Trust your intuition.
The key is to pay attention to the warning signals that we receive. But often we don’t. We doubt ourselves. We give the person another chance. We wait for hard evidence. In the end, we are damaged and filled with regrets.
Would listening to their intuition have saved Russell Williams’ victims? We’ll never know. But Gavin de Becker did relate a story about a woman who was assaulted in her apartment. The assailant told her to be quiet, promised he wouldn’t hurt her, and left the room. The woman, filled with fear, didn’t listen to him. She listened to her intuition and slipped away. The guy returned with a kitchen knife, intending to kill her. But she was gone.
Yup, my ex-spath only told me a dream of his once, and I think he made it up… that he was with me in Hawaii. He would really love to go and live there. Some of his Nica bros (people of the villages and being real great surfers) moved there. He told me that dream before he came to Belgium, so very early in the relationship. I think he wanted to plant some seed to move both there and start a life there. But Hawaii is the US and US immigration isn’t a peace of cake if you’re both foreigners. ANd besides, while I felt like moving to Mexico for a couple of years in the past decade, I change my mind. I have my life here, my family and friends and for some stuff I really like Belgium after all.
He found out that I did dream translation and read tarot. He would use it to tease me: saying that if I called myself an atheist then why the heck was I doing superstitious stuff. Told him it hadn’t anything to do with superstition, but symbolism and serendipity. Still, he had me read a tarot for him. I remember it was a difficult one to read: it was dark and I had a hard time finding emotional sense in it. He gave me no reply at all about it afterwards. Nor did he ever comment on the dreams I had. It was as if I was clearly speaking a language he simply could not grasp. I think he wanted to demean it, because it may have come too close to the truth.
Spaths DO dream. In fact they talk in their sleep constantly because their brain waves are not very different when they are awake from when they are asleep.
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Are_psychopaths_really_brain-damaged_or_is_that_just_a_facile_excuse
exP talked in his sleep all the time. But the very first dream he ever told me that he had had, was a lie. He said that in his dream we were on vacation and that I had forgotten my suitcase. It was told in such a way to inform me that he thought I was an airhead and stupid. The way he said it, it was as if he was mad at me and it really HAD happened, not just in a dream. Who does that? I was deeply insulted. that was the first clue and I should’ve run then.
After that, I really don’t remember him telling me about any other dreams in 25 years.
Darwinsmom,
I think spaths dream and have nightmares. I remember my friend spath living upstairs and hearing her in the middle of the night yelling “stop” and sounding distressed.
Little did I know at the time she was a lying, stealing, rat, drug using pos with prostitution in her background. Makes sense now!
spath has emailed me twice today. I predicted that NC would make him ramp it up.
later in the day…
Skylar! we posted over each other….
Hi Ana,
happy saturday!
I’m thinking about going up to the cabin today. Oh joy – NOT!
Skylar,
Geez, sounds like he could use a good massage therapist! I wonder…is your back breaking under the stress of it all spath? Does your back feel like it’s gonna snap if you do/tell one more lie? Try to hold still and not move cause you never know when it’s gonna give for good!
HA
Skylar,
At least you know he won’t be there! And if he is you know right where to kick him. LOL (Low Back)
Hahaha!
Ana, his backbone is made of lies. The lies are what are holding him up. Otherwise there is nothing there.
I think his immediate goal is to get my response. He’s looking for hooks. He’s done the pity, and the charm. This one is a veiled threat, AKA, the rage.
They are all 3 trick ponies. EVERYWORD FROM HIS LIPS IS A LIE AND EVERY WORD FROM HIS KEYBOARD IS A LIE.
The part about hurting his back is the EXIT STRATEGY. They all have one, they all plan ahead for when their tricks don’t work out.
When he fails to get the truck, he can say it’s because his back got worse. What he really wants is for me to respond. Which is exactly why I won’t. Never give them what they want.
Skylar,
AMEN Sistah, NEVER give them what they want.