Dealing with a sociopath means stress. Somehow, we have to find ways to reduce it. Here’s why:
Yet another reason to reduce stress: It shrinks your brain, on CommercialAppeal.com.
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Ox Drover
G1S, the chances of something “bad” happening on the 13th are the same as on the 12th or the 9th or any other day…LOL 🙂 or Tuesday or Monday.
MiLo
Hi Sky ~ I’ve been back from the road trip for awhile now. Just have been under attack from the spathy daughter to a point that I couldn’t put two sentences together to post. I was hangng on to the gray rock so hard my fingernails were worn down to nothing. BUT, I did it, I didn’t let go. With encouragement from a friend, I did it. I know it works, I know she will eventually tire of me again, but for now she is pulling out all the stops and triggering me with everything she has, in a cocky, in my face, double dare sort of way. She has left me alone for a couple of days and I already feel stronger and my power is seeping back. Are you sure I can’t hit her in the head with the gray rock? I so want to!!! See, even my humor is coming back.
OXY ~ I hope your ankle is feeling some better today. I am praying your little dog will find his way home. Thoughts are with you today my friend.
Ox Drover
Thanks, Milo. I got a good night’s sleep last night thanks to better pharmacology (DRUGS!!!!) and took a nap this morning to try to catch up on some rest which I sorely needed after the emotional melt down over my dog, to say nothing of the pain from the ankle.
I went out and cut all the iris blooms in the yard and brought them in to put in vases and some other flowers, to cheer me up. We have a storm moving in so the day has been dark then sunny then dark again off and on, actually very beautiful back here in my hole in the woods. The trees are so LUSH and enclosing that there’s not even a HINT of seeing through them, we call it “the GREEN CURTAIN” when it encloses us in the spring. When the winter comes we can see through the trees to the next hill but not when the curtain closes.
It is comforting when the curtain closes and I feel secure back here…even though the back 40 is nearly clear cut by the natural gas pipe lines, I can’t SEE it from my house. Of course everything is LUSH and shiny green with a thousand shades of green on the leaves in the sun and dappled shade. The wild flower garden outside my window has blooming spiderworts that look like tiny blue orchids. Son D and I went and dug up 6 or 8 more clumps of them off the side of the country road and transplanted them in with the ones we had transplanted from years before.
On some of the threads folks have been talking about living in the NOW…and that’s what I am trying to do. Enjoying the tender beauty of a vase full of Irises that are so delicately colored in yellow and violet shades.
I’m sorry that the witchy daughter is giving you grief.Just reach out and grab a piece of the floor and hang on, no matter how much it bucks and twists. This too shall pass. (((hugs)))
cathyannjones
Wow, this explains so much. My dad (and my ex) were both sociopaths. My dad put my mom through so much, he used to hit her and rip her clothes and mess up her hair before she had to leave for work. He kept his paycheck and she worked and supported all 5 kids mostly on her own. When she developed altzheimer’s I found out he was hitting her. She has such severe altzheimer’s at 76 that I always thought the stress of living with my dad caused it. He died in November. My ex, who was an addict and a sociopath, committed suicide a month ago. He tried to call me right before he did it but had always threatened to call and make me listen if he killed himself. I think God prevented me from hearing the phone. It’s been stressful getting my daughters through this and there was the guilt to work through at not hearing the phone, but I actually feel free for the first time in my life. I know that sounds bad, but both sociopaths who had impacted my life are gone. My ex never stopped trying to scam me and making me feel sorry for him and hitting me up for money. He ignored restraining orders, I had to put a no trespass order against him at my worksite, but he was still always calling with a sob story and I did feel bad for him. Once he started using crack, he lost control, but that was his choice. He had been in one of the best rehabs in the country and knew what he needed to do to get better. He choose to hang out with addicts instead of going to live in a sober house. Oh well, I am now exercising, going out with friends and have made a better life for myself. Now that he is gone, I am not feeling so guilty that my life is better while he kept sinking. I also seem to think clearer. Thanks for listening.
clair
Dear cathyann,
I am so happy for you that both spaths are out of your life. I believe you posted before that Gd prevented you from hearing the phone, saving you from witnessing yr ex-sp’s final act. I agree, Gd intervened and saved you.
I’m just so happy for you that both spaths are gone forever. So, even though you may feel sadness, grief and loss, it sounds like you are feeling huge RELIEF!! 🙂 Free at last!!
I too have had spaths die, but, unfortunately, I let them live in my head. I hope you don’t experience that, but if you do, just work thru it. You truly are free from them. YAY!!!!!
cathyannjones
I wasn’t trying to say that I’m glad my ex committee suicide, but the stress of him constantly calling me at work and telling me that he was hungry and needed cigarettes and hitting me up for money and causing me to worry about him and feel guilty about how is life was is gone. I tried for 33 years to help him, but he didn’t want to him himself. The guy he had lived with before getting his own place about a month before he killed himself said that my ex was never without food, that he wanted his own place because the other guy didn’t want him to have people in his house when he was at work that might steal from him. Just the constant playing on my sympathy 5 years after I left him was making me tired and sick and unable to think clearly. I would have given anything for things to turn out differently, but that wasn’t within my power to change.
silvermoon
I think one day there will be a study that confirms how amazing we are to be able to function so well with brains chewed like swiss cheese……….
I envy a dog’s short term memory of about 3 seconds. With that kind of processing capability, they would be easier to forget…
Woof!
On we go.
G1S
If stress turns our brains into Swiss cheese, is that why we go crackers?
Truthspeak
Oh, gracious…..Silver & G1S….LOL
Cathyannjones, I’m going to be brutally honest about myself, here. I would not give a fig if the exspath took his own life. He’s already dead in every way except physiologically. He has no soul. He has no empathy. He has no true, genuine feelings. He has no remorse. He has no shame. He has no boundaries to which he will sink in order to exact as much pain as possible.
Does that make me a “bad person?” I don’t think so. It just makes the exspath hold less value than a spider that I will NOT squish just because I don’t like spiders!
jeannie812
I still feel so much anger towards Jim. I still feel like I would hurt him if I only could. I know this anger only hurts me. It is really hard to deal with. I do find that keeping myself busy is the cure. But, when I get tired and it’s the next day of being tired, that I am alone with my thoughts, that I go back to my anger towards Jim.
Or my neighbor lady mentions that Jim has yet to get his wheelbarrow out of her yard. It just SETS me OFF! She says he told her to make room in her garage. I can’t be happy with the thought that he is her problem and not mine. What is wrong with me?
I gotta point out that my neighbor lady always defends Jim. She makes it out to be my fault.