In a survey of 641 women, 16% said they had experienced “reproductive coercion” men intentionally trying to get them pregnant by poking holes in condoms, taking birth control pills and even removing IUDs. Several Lovefraud readers have said that this happened to them.
More men are sabotaging women’s birth control to get them pregnant: ACOG, on NYDailyNews.com
Reproductive Coercion Prevalent Regardless of Socioeconomic and Educational Background, on ACOG.org.
I had a woman do this to me.
Coercion from someone we love can be very convincing. My first husband tried to get me to have a child with him. We were barely making ends meet paying the child support for his first three kids whom he only saw every two weeks…and usually left while I took care of them!
I think women who fear this type of sabotage should use several types of birth control and not let the man know about all of them if possible. It is possible to never talk about birth control pills and hide them.
Ryan961: Did she poke a hole in your condoms when you were away? I guess anyone who doesn’t want to have a child has to now hide their birth control under lock and key.
the spath who my wife got herself snagged up with was constantly trying to get her pregnant. he knew it would blow her cover and thought it would split us up. she found out that he has taken no interest in any of his 4 kids from two past relationships other than to molest the females. I think that if a woman feels pressure in a (so called) relationship to get pregnant against her will, hello sweetie! big fat red flag. ditch the loser!! these guys always end up using the child for a noose or they use them for a toy. look at his past and observe how he interacts with children that aren’t his when he doesn’t know your watching. you want a good father for your kids?? test him blind. its worth it. your worth it.
my wifes convicted sex offender don juan,(lol) promised her he’d be a WONDERFUL FATHER AND HE CLAIMED HE TRIED WITH HIS OTHER KIDS BUT WE ALL KNOW HOW LUCK AND FATE AND ALL THE STARS HAVE MISALIGNED AGAINST THEM. (boo hoo hoo!) he also promised her that he’d build her a beautiful house. ppfft! turns out all he’d give her was a little tent he kept in his trunk!
Wow. The terrible things they do to children is just so devastating. I like your idea about testing them “blind.” A good hidden camera can go a long way in seeing what someone is like in many situations.
Those pesky stars, always messing with the plan to be a good father. My abuser ” cried” about ” wanting” to be a good father. If only the stars hadn’t made his first wife a she devil. If only she hadn’t called the police after a physical fight during which the stars alligned to have her thrown to the ground. It only his first son hadn’t ended up hating him. The stars saw to that, and to his cheating on his second wife whilst son two was just 5 years old.
I was once in a doctor’s waiting room with this man. There was a mother in there with us with her sweet little toddler. The baby kept approaching us, I smiled, waved etc as you do. The baby handed me his beanie baby . The abuser blanked the baby throughout. Not a glance. Good advice rgc.
Tea Light: I loved your talking about “the pesky stars” causing their troubles. It’s always someone or something else that made it happen, isn’t it? I’ve got to remember “those pesky stars” as a fun catch phrase.
It is weird how they blank out isn’t it? If a young, attractive person comes in the room, they sure can light up, can’t they? What irritating, heart wrenching disasters they are.
Those pesky stars! Always putting a spanner in the works! Without the pesky meddling stars my abuser would be the faithful honest man he longs to to be. One day, if Saturn alligns favourably with the moons of Jupiter, he may stop stalking me.
Wow!I had no idea that this was experienced by so many people!I’ve mentioned it being my experience,here.Now,I can understand my gynecologist;he recognized what I’d been through.I wondered why his nurse asked me several times if I had a tubal.I did.I even had the kind where the tubes were burnt;I wanted to “make sure there wouldn’t be any more pregnancies”!I love my daughters dearly;but they were born in close sucession~like stair steps.My husband would have kept me pregnant(no problem in that dept!).I was exhausted & it bothered my conscience to let others pay for us to have children.Yep,I messed his plans up! 🙂
I’ve wanted to dedicate this song to fellow Lovefrauders ever since I first heard it~~~but especially since I saw it performed on ACM! It’s a blast,and it totally gives me a way to verbalize my feelings about what I’ve been through!DONE~~~UGGGH!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ans9pJ1MQuI
Thanks, Blossom! I heard this song the first time on the Voice the other night. It really strikes a chord and helps me with thinking “tough” about how to handle a spath.
fight,
you’re right,there is the “tough” exterior~~~but I like the reference to burning a bridge and the emotional release felt in the song!
Yes. Definitely a lot of great lyrics in this song for how to be strong and love oneself.