For all of you wishing for the permanent solution to the problem of a sociopathic tormenter an arrangement that will stop him or her from tormenting you heck, the predator won’t torment anyone —here it is!
InstantHitman.com
Solution courtesy of a Lovefraud reader.
darwinsmom
Shelby, you deserver better! You did not deserve to be pushed on your vulnerability, on your lingering feelings for him, make you hope again only to ditch you so much rougher.
You deserve honesty and respect.
While it may not lessen your feelings of loneliness and sadness at the moment, I hope you also turn the leaving around… even if not physical, you can mentally leave him, and come to yourself to heal what is broken.
ErinBrock
Shelby, Shelby, Shelby………..
May I suggest you step back and pick up your self worth that’s laying in the gutter!!!!!
Why would you settle for crumbs when you have the whole fresh baked loaf available to you!!!!
He was looking for a quick booty call before leaving…..and who in the hell wants long distance…(UH, him so he can keep his local SF booty call for when he comes visits). He’s not proud and wants to show you off…..you were not invited to work party…..AND he’s leaving tomorrow? REALLY!!!!
” I asked him that if he could not ’love’ me or keep this up, to just tell me. But, I can’t even get that.”
Okay…..YES YOUR GETTING YOUR ANSWER….how clear do you want it?
Stand up and realize WHO you are and WHAT YOUR WORTH!!!!!
Even if it means being alone. I think it would be healthy for you to spend some time working on ‘why’ you are willing to settle for less…..
Your opening statement was…….”I have recently encountered by sociopathic ex boyfriend this week”
Okay…..it’s on the que cards to RUN GIRLFRIEND.
As I tell my kids……there is a reason you broke up the first time.
(regardless if they are sociopaths or just toxic or it wasn’t working out for any other reason).
Never look back, keep your eyes focused to the future.
You deserve much better than this…..you just have to CONVINCE yourself of that!!!!
XXOO
EB
shelby333
Dear ErinBrock: I see your name and think of Erin Brockovick who brought PG&E down to its knees. He actually works for PG&E and was at the Hinckley plant – the very one.
Your note was right on and exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you – you are right……actions speak louder than words.
I don’t know why I have low self worth, but I appreciate you shaking my tree. I guess it is from not being what my parents wanted me to be, always trying to please everyone else or trying to be what everyone else wanted me to be.
This is the 3rd time he has come back to me. But, now with him moving 3000 miles away I feel that I won’t be terrorized any longer.
ErinBrock
Shelby;
Erin Brockovich is my inspiration. her inspiration helped me kick some serious spath ass during my divorce!
My Gf’s still call me ‘Erin’……or they will say….OMG….she’s gonna bring out ‘Erin’….in regards to something that needs dealing with. đŸ™‚
I used ErinBrockovich as my original screen name…..never thinking that people would think I was ‘the’ Erin Brockovich…..but it became apparant I needed to change it….so I’m ErinBrock….or EB!
There is always a reason we take the steps we do in life……and if they are not leading us to a healthy place…or we find ourselves settleing……it’s time to step back and take a look!
It’s a blessing he’s moving 3000 miles away…..block his number and go NO CONTACT so he can’t continiue to give you the mind fark you have been getting from him. If you continue to take his calls or text or emails….don’t fool yourself…..he can terrorize you from the MOON my dear!
Take back your power…..you can only control YOURSELF!
Reflect…..and you will find.
Stick around…..we’ll water, fertalize and shake your tree. You’ll find support here at LF!
đŸ™‚
shelby333
My sister was just over here and I cannot get validation from her. She says “quit being the victim”. I’m not wanting to be the victim. I’m tired of sitting around and taking his love bombing me for his own pleasure.
I just wish I could get the validation I need from the people that I thought/think are on my side. You are right about the no contact. I read that and know it, see it, but when it happens, it is so reactive to respond to him.
So, I now have blocked him (again) from my phone, my emails and so on and so on.
EB, thank you for taking the time out of your evening to talk to me. I feel weak, vulnerable and childish, but I am most grateful for your kindness.
darwinsmom
You will find validation here, if you don’t get it somewhere else. Though it’s not supportive of your sister, you can turn her words into a supportive message for yourself (from yourself, not from her)… “I empower myself, I ignore him and go no contact until he’s blue in the face. And then I will cease to be his plaything (/victim) any longer.”
And that is what you have just done by going NC! Go Shelby!
shelby333
Is it just me, or does anyone have the problem of no contact? It’s not that I want to have contact, it is just that he comes to me out of no where and before I know it, I pick up the phone.
How do I stop that reflex? Am I just being an idiot?
darwinsmom
Change your phone number and protect the number, so he can’t call you anymore?
shelby333
I’ve thought about it, but I use my cell for work and it is a number I’ve had for over 8 years.
My partner said that he would destroy me if I stay with him and that is exactly what is happening. He’s not the only problem I’m faced with. It is just that this is a cauldron of several things that are coming together like a perfect storm.
He takes my energy – sucks it up like a vacuum.
darwinsmom
I know the perfect storm coming together. feeling.. was wondering about that until yesterday, feeling like a loser and failure over it. Got my ephipahny about it last night. I make sense to myself again and so did what happened in my life which would otherwise be unrelated to the ex spath, and refound the start of my self-confidence again. My best friend remarked on it today. He could hear it in my voice instantly.
I know it’s really cumbersome and annoying to have it changed when you’ve had it for so long and for work. But it is overcomeable, a practical hassle yes… but not undoable. But it will certainly make it VERY difficult for him to ever contact you again.