Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Clint.”
You have heard the story hundreds of times. I was a naive do-gooder with a new friend that i just could not figure out. Last night, he explained himself to me in way I would not have believed possible.
A little background on me: I am an engineer/scientist in my education and way of thinking. I do not believe anything that cannot be proven in a controlled experiment or supported by scientific data. I do not believe in magic, ghosts, ESP, UFO’s, voodoo, witchcraft, good & evil, etc. etc. That is until last night. I realize now that i should not dismiss things not fully understood.
I met a 23 year old guy named Alex about 3 years ago. We quickly became friends and I integrated him into nearly every facet of my life and inherently trusted him as fully as my brother or mother. I always knew something wasn’t quite right about Alex’s psyche but was unable to pin it down. I found him fascinating and I literally studied his every move in an attempt to figure him out. In the process, I have become almost obsessively in love and lust with him. I am 50 years old and I have never experienced love and passion with such intensity.
Long story short, I recently figured out that he is a sociopath and confronted him. He pulled me in closer and tried to explain the he did not actively plan and think about ways to hurt people. I was simply incapable of understanding him. My mind is “pure as the ocean” as he says. I have never experienced evil thoughts.
Last night, Alex and I communicated telepathically. I don’t know how it happened nor the process that allowed it to happen, but for several minutes I was actually inside his head and I could see, feel, and hear the whole experience of what it is to be Alex. It was absolute terror. It was the most profound, scariest, and most horrific experience of my life. I literally ran out of his house screaming. Have you ever heard of this telepathic connection thing before? I understand him now.
I understand how a sociopathic mind works. I know why they mistreat animals and commit violent acts at an age when they should have no concept of what they are doing. I understand now that I am in real danger because this thing is inhuman and lacks a soul. It’s a freak of nature that resembles a normal mind turned inside out. Everything about good & evil and right & wrong is in reverse. Oh my god there is pure evil all around us.
What now?
How horrible. Entering the sociopath’s mind? Gag…
Whatever you believe it was – that moment saved you! I’ve had similar, light bulb moments, flashes of complete clarity, that are so frightening at the time because what you see to be your future is absolute hell. For me though even those moments weren’t enough to get out – I just trod water for years and years, feeling it was the right thing to do for my children. For me, it was actually seeing the truth in cold hard unarguable black and white that saved me. When I became suspicious that my ex spath was having an affair (which turned out to be correct), after several months of observing, waiting for 100% proof, I finally worked out his Facebook password and it wasn’t just his dalliance that was revealed.
It was a person that I didn’t recognise, didn’t know and didn’t want to know.
It was a pathological liar who hadn’t just been lying to me for 23 years but who lied to everyone else in his life – constantly! He was playing so many different parts he must have been exhausted by it!
For several months I continued to log in as him, every chance I got, when I was at work, where I would screen print the previous nights messages for evidence; at home on the sofa while he was logged in on the other lap top – I would watch his live conversations. It was a very dark dangerous time, horrible, obsessive behaviour on my part but I had to know and I’m grateful for that period because as hard as it was, it totally purged me of a man I once loved.
With the bully out of my life I have gradually become stronger and stronger – so much so that I finally felt able to confront (albeit by letter) my step mother who I had not spoken to since 1991. A vindictive, sometimes violent, manipulative, gold digger who makes Cruella Deville look like a Care Bear! Incredibly long story short, she managed to appropriate everything after my father died and I’m trying to get one small part of it back – an apartment in Spain. Last year she promised she would give it back, went to Spain to arrange it with her lawyer but then came back and said it would cost to much, we can use it whenever we want and we would get it in her will.
With my sister’s backing I drafted a letter to say we would pay all the transfer and legal costs – call her bluff basically. The letter was ready to go but after an extraordinary dream – which left me really disturbed, I felt something was wrong, I felt scared she was going to sell it and we would know nothing about it until it was too late.
Good old google – we found the apartment for sale. She’d stuck it on exclusively with a small agent and forbade them to use any photos. I was positive it was the apartment but needed proof so my boyfriend went out there as a perspective buyer. I was right. She had put it up the day before for a very low price for a quick sale. Legally it was now in her name so we wouldn’t have known anything if it hadn’t been for that dream.
I told the estate agents the truth and they took it off the market and I wrote her a scathing letter, copied to relatives who she would not wish to know her true nature.
She has since agreed to ‘allow’ us to pay the transfer costs – but what should have been an easy, straight-forward process and taken a few weeks – has been on-going since October! She’s come out with constant lies – the funniest of which is that she knew nothing about the sale, the estate agents put it up without her knowing – of course they did!!!
Over the years I’ve had many ‘dreams’ relating to her, usually in relations to the night my father died. I used to just dispel them as bad dreams but now I am fairly convinced they were more than that.
I hope that we can conclude the transfer of the apartment one day soon and then perhaps I can get this other piece of evil out of my life for ever and the Cinderella sisters can live happily ever after! 🙂
It sounds as if this experience was a realization that you’d been repressing for a long time. Finally you allowed yourself to see Alex as he really was. I don’t think it was telepathy. However, I would never discount anything that someone believes.
In my experience with a path, and I’m a realist, it did seem to me that there was a karmaic connection due to coincidences that seemed to occur between us in an uncanny way. I think part of this was due to the fact that I interpreted these incidents and like thoughts as something special because I was so infatuated with him. We humans tend to do this. And he knew how to play it up, which also contributed to the perceived existence of a “special” connection.
Dear Clint- not to sound trite- but can you get this experience down on paper? It’s a movie!
I was with a spath over 10 years ago. He called himself a “producer/director” in Hollywood. This guy was “criminally insane”. He collected money from small investors for an alleged film. He’d collect small amounts of 5K to 50K. He’d get film equipment rental companies to “loan” him cameras and lighting. Well, after he collected a certain amount- it was about 70K when I knew him. He’d take all that liquid Scash$ and run off with it to another state. Then he’d sell or pawn all the cameras and lighting. Apparently he did this numerous times every 2-3 years. In between large packets of $ he’d run smaller productions in little towns until things cooled down in CA. He’d drive into some little town in the middle of nowhere and immediately go to an AA meeting and start collecting people to run another film scam.
His SON is also a producer/director (but not a criminal like his father)- produced a film loosely based on his father and Christopher Walken played the father! He actually looked like Christopher Walken when he plays those creepy characters.
Well, let me tell you- this guy was telepathic in a really destructive way. No matter how far away I was from him he could “transmit” messages to me. I don’t drink, smoke or do drugs- and I’m also am a real skeptic when it comes to this ESP/psychic stuff. (This was years ago before Long Island Medium and the previous celebrity mediums!) This guy “stalked” me “psychically” for 2-3 years after I left him. I was only with him, working with him for a few months. I don’t know why but he became obsessed with me even though I wasn’t a beautiful actress or celebrity (his usual target). Periodically he’d leave the LA area to “visit” me physically. For 3 years I moved around the country- living with friends and relatives he didn’t know about- but he’d actually FIND me no matter where I was. My friends were protecting me from him by giving him inaccurate information to throw him off. It didn’t matter- he’d always manage to “get” to me somehow. Try telling the police that you are being telepathically “stalked” and see how far ya get!
In retrospect it’s rather amusing only because I was never in love with this creep. Luckily this guy is DEAD. So if you live in the LA area you don’t have to be afraid you’ll run into him! But there are likely many guys just like him stalking the film industry. You can find plenty of match.com- which is where I ran into the next psycho. But, luckily, this one wasn’t at all psychic.
I met a guy on Facebook that fit your description close enough I just googled him to see if he was still alive. Since he is still kicking, it’s not him. I told this guy I would be checking out EVERYONE before I would meet with them, and he gave me some real info over several months. The internet wasn’t as efficient then, but I’m a pretty dogged investigator. I found out his lies and shared them with other women I knew he was fooling also. I don’t believe he was a spath, but it still hurt like heck that he managed to suck me in as far as he did, even though I was watching for those red flags. But at least he didn’t get any money from me.
I worked with a psychic vampire who actually was a supervisor/case manager. He often gave me the impression that he was ‘superhuman’. He did not get inside my head but tried to…he would bend down towards me to ‘teleport’ his message (usually sexual). I was flattered at being admired but never ‘bought’ his spiel.
The ‘other’ receptionist, who was very heavyset and big boned, loved it when he switched his attention to her. I took note of how quickly she arranged to take a vacation day one Friday, in tandem with his four days off. One day she appeared behind me in a distressed mood, but before I gave up my seat at the reception desk I looked at her. She had gone back to being blowsy and frumpy looking (after previously having colored her hair the exact shade as mine/and cut it the same). Apparently, she had said something he did not like (maybe she made a jealous ‘slur’ against me).
I took the next day off after witnessing this scenario. Upon my return, my psychic vamp caught up to me in the copy room. “I missed you yesterday”, he said. Smooth operator. I often became kinetic around him because of his very virile/masculine persona and extremely good looks.
I’ve been reading these articles for about three years. This article finally inspired me to register.
My spath changed his last name to a word which means “witch doctor”. He and I bonded over the recent boom with quantum physics and many other things metaphysical. I thought he was truly a guru and loved our hours and hours of friendly debate and laughter.
At the time I was in a modest condo with two kids. I was relatively newly divorced after a 3 year custody battle and raw, naive and hungry for somebody to love me “just the way I am”. I was at the top of my game at my job, looked great, had some money in my pocket and was free, so I thought.
After almost a year of being “just friends” my spath made his move. He was in another relationship with a woman (for six years). I made it very clear that no way was I doing anything with anybody already committed. Within a week he supposedly single and at my house on Thanksgiving. Wine, laughter, loneliness…
His M.O was chivalry and sex. Once he got me into bed I’d sealed my fate. Not that he was a master, he just quizzed me before and after: “What would you like? How can I improve? Exactly what did I need?…” THEY ARE CHAMELIONS. He “became” everything I’d ever wanted. Took out the trash, bought things for my kids, I came home to vegan dinners and a clean condo. He once rented Bridget Jones’ Diary and from then on his “I love you’s” became “I love you… Just the way you are…”, having remembered I’d mentioned that sentiment many months prior. By April 2008 we were renting sizable house together in a great neighborhood and I was doomed.
I know the writer stated that he is a scientist and didn’t believe in a light or the darkness, necessarily. I feel the need to boldly shout IT IS REAL.
A little background on him: He was a deliquent from a wealthy family in Long Island. He flunked out of school before even attending high school. He was a binge drinker and acid-popper whose parents bailed him out his whole life. His story was that he resented his monied upbringing and sought solace in the drugs and drinking. He took off at 18 to thumb around the world. Married twice – one child with each woman – and divorced both of them shortly after the kids were born. Of course his stories about how “terrible” the women treated him I believed. The man in my heart was completely reformed. He even started a non-profit entity under which he was teaching kids about bullying and eventually opened a martial arts studio. I thought he was a true healer. I thought he was altruistic and wise. I thought he was human.
He didn’t want me to work. Got down on one knee and “proposed” that I let him support me. I panicked. Why? My inner voice was screaming “Don’t Do IT!”. I took him with me to my therapist and the two of them decided that I had some neurotic disorder and was afraid of intimacy. Shortly after I took a fall which seriously injured my back. The accident made no sense. Only a week prior he had placed some talismans on a window sill atop the stairwell to our bedroom to “help me see the light”. The stairwell light was out that night (had been begging him to fix it) I was feeling my way down in the middle of the night and it was as though someone pushed my legs out from under me… It took 15 minutes for my yelling to wake him.
I took a leave of absence and eventually caved into quitting my job during my recovery from the accident. He behaved as though he’d won the lottery.
Within a year my car and money was in his name. I lost almost all of my friends. He got nuts when I attempted to socialize without him and his reasons always made sense – after hours and hours of verbal brainwashing I’d rationalize “he takes care of me. it’s not too much to ask”. Eventually I was 80lbs overweight and inching toward agoraphobia. Of course he still loved me “just the way I was”. By isolating me he’d become my everything and the more unraveled I became the more supportive he was. He pampered me (when we weren’t fighting) so that I became fatter and weaker by the day. I didn’t even answer my own phone by the end.
At 7 months pregnant his mother was put into hospice. It was then that I learned how much money she was giving him to “support” us. We were absolutely destitute. My accounts were empty. My car was falling apart and we didn’t even have food. Between my trips to the foodbank (He couldn’t be seen begging for food. It might hurt his business.). I laid in a catatonic depression terrified for our future. At that juncture there was nothing I could do but be pregnant. While pregnant, he convinced me, he had say over what I did with myself because I housed his son in my womb.
It was during this time that our tantric sex (mandatory, all day every Tuesday) took a back seat. He became frazzled, stopped grooming and largely locked himself up on the third floor determined to make plenty of money, supposedly. Even once the doctor cleared me he wasn’t at all interested in love making. He said making money was the only priority he had for this new family. I believed him.
After the baby I fell into a deep post-partum depression. I seriously sat for hours watching the water under a very high bridge nearby wondering whether to jump with or without the baby. I knew it was a bad scene but couldn’t possibly see any way out. I’d read “men who hate women”, etc…, had volunteered at the Womens’ Center, worked for agencies housing the mentally ill and was far from uneducated but when under a spell, there’s no visible door out.
When I told him about feeling suicidal his response was cold. He suggested I leave the baby home if I jumped. I asked for help but he said there simply wasn’t money for “help” and suggested that I let him, the master healer, heal me. We had scheduled sessions during which I let him behave as a therapist toward me. It was crazy and I only got worse.
At church one Sunday there was a sermon on grief. The speaker was a poetess who read beautiful words about the phenomenon. Her closing words encouraged us to be clear about that which needed grieving and dive into the grief in order to heal. I realized during the epilogue music that I, myself, was dead. Gone. I left the church a wreck and people saw it. I’d hit my wall.
Once I started talking I couldn’t stop. I opened up to two women only and they saw to it that I made it to a support group. It only took two weeks for me to start shaking off the shroud of darkness. I looked at this man and only saw evil. Concerned this might be a new level of mental illness I went up to the third floor and almost fainted.
Our previous bedroom had been destroyed. There were plates and cups and mugs everywhere with fermenting food on them. The bed was absolutely ruined – sparing details, I couldn’t get past the stench. It smelled like death. REALLY dirty laundry everywhere. The shades were torn or ripped down. The room was ice cold. There were weapons everywhere. The walls were marred and there were magic spells printed out with greasy fingerprints all over them, “How to destroy the enemy. How to entrap a woman. How to use masterbation as a tool to boost your personal power…” His laptop was open and there, right there for anybody to see (I’d not been up there since the baby was born) were emails to and from some belly dancer with whom he was madly in love. By the end of the week I knew from the computer I’d taken that he’d been cheating since just before I became pregnant. He was telling women about how prowess, his monies, what a powerful successful business man and amazing GENTLEMAN he was. He was telling boatloads of women that he was only waiting for me to “get better” so that he could “get out”.
We went to therapy together again and he refused to apologize citing that I’d asked for it. He agreed to reel it in but, finally, I was angry.
I left him New Year’s Eve, 2011, with a six month old and two preteens to live in a friend’s loft. No money. My car was crap with no heat and I had no job. He’d refused to allow my son to be vaccinated so daycare wasn’t an option. It was a disaster but, with help, I made it work.
Once he showed up for my son with a new girlfriend. She looked like a teenager – had a plastic flower in her hair and was already afraid of him. When I put out my hand she looked at him for permission to take it.
Once it became apparent they were no longer an item I reached out to her on fb. She was only 30 (he’s 52). She had developmental disabilities since birth, didn’t drive or work and was completely reliant on her very aged parents. She told me that she’d felt like she was under a spell. At the time he was homeless, she said, living off of different couches unless he found money for a dirty hotel for sex. He was sleeping in his car often that summer including overnights with my child. He managed to convince her that a financial windfall was on its way and that the two of them would be married very soon. He went to her mega-church with her in a suit and convinced her that he was a “Jew for Jesus”. She organized a meeting with the pastor for him with the intent to earn money for his non-profit. He told her that he needed money desperately for a new car and back childsupport (child#2) so that he could continue to save kids from bullies and that it was God’s will that she help him. Her pastor took her aside after the meeting and told her in no uncertain terms that “That man is filled with the devil. He is no longer welcome in his congregation.” and that she was in serious trouble. Her parents helped her end it. She is still grateful for my call to this day because she worried she might be crazy. We all do.
I’ve been dragged into family court 22 times over the last two years. He has tried to have me arrested for “malicious slander” among many other things all to no avail other than costing me time and life energy.
His father died a week ago. I’d been very close to his mother while alive but, to my knowledge, his dad wasn’t ever going to forgive him for the turmoil he put them though. That morning I went to his apartment to pickup my son and looked him in the eye for the first time in years. The man was jubilant. I swear his eyes were a different color. I simply stated that I hoped the two of them had found peace before death. He leaned in too close and said,”Yeah, we had peace.” and scoffed. He was free, finally. No Jewish guilt anymore over failing to become a Menche.
Now he is starting to send “friendly” emails and waves at me from the car.
It was a mistake. No Contact is the ONLY way.
Be glad you were able to run, Man. Evil does exist. It knows no bounds and will haunt you until you are destroyed. I will say a prayer for you and the rest of us, too.
Clint, I can only imagine what a shocking experience that had to be both to be in the actual moment and to now ruminate over to try to understand. Most everyone here has come to realize that they needed to rethink some of their deeply rooted beliefs. I definitely have had to. Not that I wanted to. I had to in order to survive. The beliefs I had were trapping me and being used as weapons to control and dominate me. When we internalize and desperately cling to something that is not solidly founded, that dogma can endanger us. The choice is ours if we are willing to let go of some of those broken paradigms. It takes a lot of humility and willingness to look inside ourselves, and perhaps in ways we truly never have. Several have offered scenarios that seemed viable to them and were no doubt intended to help. I will do the same.
First off let’s admit that this is flat out freaky stuff that we are discussing here. Just sick and twisted. I’m going to approach this from the perspective that you are very clear and solid that this Actually Happened and was not about any cognitive or perceptual distortion. Sounds like Joanie123 had the same type of horrifying experiences. Some of the references she used caught my attention. The fallen angels according to scripture were powerful, intelligent spirit creatures. Like fleshly psychopaths, these ones willfully chose to follow a perverse course. They rejected the standards of a kind and benevolent leader and threw in with the original psychopath who used any method available to decieve, twist, pervert, and dominate others. As part of the revolt many of these betrayers took on fleshly bodies and took whatever women they wanted. This unnatural pairing produced a hybrid offspring of superhumans who grew up to bully and dominate. During the great deluge all flesh perished from the earth except what had been saved by special provision. These wicked spirits had to shed their fleshly bodies and return to the spirit realm. The Nephilim are long since gone, though many of their legends remain. Many believe much of what is called Greek mythology is based on this history. These debased spirits or demons are still around. They no longer have authority or ability to materialize fleshly bodies for themselves but given opportunity they can toy with ours, and our minds.They are powerful and the epitome of perverse. They have had millennia to refine their craft. Much of what is now commonly viewed as benign entertainment has connections to spiritism which can open doors to this dark world. Like fleshly sociopathic individuals they thrive off of deception and slander and are deeply vested in propagating these false beliefs. I hope some of this is helpful.
4Light2Shine, I am very familiar with the legends and stories of the Nephilim and I do believe it really happened. I’ve also read that their disembodied spirits, which are also called demons, do still inhabit people to this day. Many scholars on the subject believe that incursions are still happening between the fallen angelic realm and human women; basically, modern day Nephilim. If true, I have often wondered if that is why we have seen such a rise in sociopaths/psychopaths and just bizarre behavior in general within our society. This stuff sounds too crazy to be true. Modern psychology places labels and names on it such as schizophrenia or such, but it may be nothing more than old fashioned demon possession, or at the very least, demon oppression.
Just as Freed@43 found out that her husband was dabbling in spells and the occult in order to control and manipulate people (especially women), it is possible that many disordered people have done this at some point in their lives. I believe this happens quite frequently. As you said, the seemingly innocuous interaction with the occult (quija boards, séances, spell casting, even movies, books,video games and music)can unwittingly open a door to the spiritual realm; a door that once opened will be their undoing and subsequently the undoing of everyone they entangle in their web. Clint said this young man was inhuman and had no soul; that everything was reversed in his mind. This sounds like one disturbed young man.
I used to think everyone was basically good on some level. I trusted too quickly and gave people the benefit of the doubt over and over again. I was groomed to be that way by a sociopathic father and a co-dependent mother (she was a wonderful mother, just didn’t know any better.) And my father dabbled frequently in the occult and his spoken intent of doing so was to control people. True evil does exist and often masquerades as light so as to seduce (especially sexually), entice (by telling you everything you want to hear) and then ensnare (you feel trapped with no way out). Where does it come from, this evil? That is where opinions vary widely. In my belief system, it comes from the spiritual realm.
I think that Clint experienced something very real, very dark and very terrifying. He needs to get away from this young man and completely sever all ties and all contact. The young man mentioned is only 26 years old and this age is often the age or onset of severe psychological problems that have been manifesting since childhood. It is often the age when they begin to act on thoughts that they previously only fantasized about.
To Clint, I believe you. You were given this experience as a warning. Heed the warning now.
When my psychopath dropped his mask it was as if I had another person inside me. I had foreign thoughts, emotions, desires, etc.
As I dealt with the paradox in front of me . . . what I was and my relationships was before and after the mask dropping, my profound feeling was that things I felt did not belong to me. As I recognized that I found that my emotional upheaval subsided quickly.
I looked endlessly for words to describe the phenomena. It is called Projective Identification. It feels like the person resides in you and you have been removed, so to speak. I really identify with the idea that you are living inside his mind. I think in a way you are. Its sort of like they injected a 3-d hologram photo of their state of mind. I don’t think it is ongoing, but we “feel” like it is.
Studies on projective identification are usually done for infants as it is an infants tool to get his/her mother to understand what he needs.
As for evil, I thoroughly understand the need to label because we as emotional beings would never utilize the methods, or think the kind of thoughts a psychopath thinks. I have come to understand it differently though. I believe that “they” are simply human animals without emotion or humanity. Animals aren’t evil. Simply they are no comparison to emotional human beings. They are ill equipt to handle the realm we live in. period.
With that said. an alligator isn’t evil but it is dangerous . . .and possibly even has more “emotion” than a psychopath. I think it serves us better, especially as rational people and scientists, to see psychopaths as severely retarded. With issues outside of the mystical realm, I think this understanding will get us further toward the goal of identifying and cloistering them away from society.
I wasn’t saying I didnt believe the experience, but am sensitive as you stated to not share with most people as it might uneccessarily label “Clint” as the one with the issue. Especially a talented spath, who could exploit that if needed to clear his own reputation, they are very believable long enough to get and maintain a good name when wanted.
Just be careful who you share with, all our experiences are our own to know as truth whether someone else gets it or not. Its all real.
Peace.
I understand completely what you’ve experienced, and I would describe it as a form of closeness so deep that this can only be experienced with someone with no boundaries or shame. I would suggest that after spending so much time with him, thinking about him, analysing and trying to predict him, your neural pathways concentrated on building that connection to your “love source” for all those good feelings.
When you were lying next to him and (sounds like you are extremely sensitive, deep-feeling and perceptive) through your empathy you can feel the evil and see the imagery. These are all of your information and warning systems projecting a picture of what is beside you.
Like a blind person who can read by touching braille or a deaf person who lip-reads, when a person is deficient in something, they develop special abilities, in his case, emotional empathy. So he would be extra good at observing and reading you and forming this “connection” although for him it’s a distant concept rather than real and producing such biological changes as in you.
I was in a position of terror having experienced this with my boyfriend. While next to him, I “saw” him standing next to the hanging bodies of his family, skinned, and smiling while holding a hook. The way he moved was unnatural, his expressions mad. It was a message, perhaps not of what he wanted to do, but what he was capable of doing. It was my brain’s way of communicating to me: GET OUT.
After a time, you will notice that the connection you built was based on your own needs and assumptions, and perhaps a fascination and appreciation for his traits. Leave it alone. I wish I could help build a service for victims of psychopaths in my country but I haven’t got the strength. They won’t do anything that will introduce inconveniences for their lives (prison) but keeping safe is up to us. WE have to stay out of THEIR way. Somehow make sense of this relationship construct in our minds when they have nothing in theirs about us. What we are looking for with them is not possible. That relationship is false. The best he can see you as is an instrument to help him but it’s not a real recognition of your value because he feels no such value inside; he can’t. I hope this helps in your healing as it took me a long time to see it. There isn’t much point being angry with someone who was born that way. His evil is not genuinely directed at anybody because he hasn’t got the emotional capabilities to MAKE it personal. It’s neither his fault nor yours. Yes the acts are evil but he probably can’t help it. While it’s good to feel compassion for that “thing”, it can’t be changed and you shouldn’t feel bad about that. Maybe be thankful for what you enjoyed but see it for what it is, just a collection of expressions and behaviour which for him didn’t have the basis that it did for you. For him, it was totally random. So it means letting go of the ego, and deciding to keep yourself safe no matter what. They know exactly what they are.
DON’T BLAME YOURSELF, we are going through the same thing.
xxxx
I like your input, very rational. I think that in any strong emotional happening it is important to, after the unavoidable shock and emotional pain, to look at the facts without any emotion to understand what really happens. There is a reason why science is not emotional and religion is…
When I think about what “my sociopath” said or did in a rational perspective, it wasn’t really that extraordinary, my projections and my own feelings generated the bond, and he simply took profit from it. Which was his objective. It is not that awkward after all. The issue comes becomes because for one person the relationship is emotional while for another one is a pure business and has no limits in his methods.
But it is nothing that particular to use people, many people do it all the time. The radical difference here is that they do it out of the professional life too.
I don’t think though, that “they are born that way” is the right approach. We are all born “in our own way”. Some people are more likely to love others and some less likely, it also depends on who they meet, what are their expectations in relationships, etc… But we all know that to use people is not correct. They choose to do something that is not correct and they are totally responsible for that choice because they have enough awareness.
If your brain tells you to ‘get out’ I would just do it.
In my opinion, RUN and don’t look back! This is my un-sophisticated way of doing things after having to escape 2 psychos.
And please, do NOT trust anything they say!