Isn’t it strange how the mind works? I read with approval Dr Leedom’s latest post. In it she manages to be at once hard-nosed, realistic, and still keep positve. There are very real differences in the brains of those with psychopathic traits, she writes, but the brain is plastic and therein lies just a sliver of hope.
For some reason the opening lines of Martin Amis‘ novel House of Meetings came back to me. It is set in the Soviet Union:
Dear Venus
If what they say is true, and my country is dying, then I think I may be able to tell them why. You see, kid, the conscience is a vital organ, and not an extra like the tonsils or the adenoids.
Amis has also written a stunning nonfiction book about Stalinism, Koba the Dread, which has its own staggering opening:
Here is the second sentence in Robert Conquest‘s The Harvest of Sorrow: Collectivization and the Terror-Famine:
We may perhaps put this in perspective in the present case by saying that in the actions here recorded about twenty human lives were lost for, not every word, but every letter of this book.
That sentence represents 3,020 lives. The book is 411 pages long.
And then I remembered that Amis’ cousin Lucy Partington was murdered by the infamous serial killer Fred West! How could I have forgotten? Amis wrote wrenchingly about it in Experience:
My family cannot understand the extraordinary collision that allowed him to touch our lives, and I have no wish to prolong that contact. But he is here now, in my head; I want him excised. And Frederick West is uncontrollable: he is uncontrollable. For now he will get from me a one-sentence verdict…. West was a sordid inadequate who was trained by his childhood to addict himself to the moment when impotence became prepotence.
Amis clearly knows a thing or two about psychopathy. Consider his compact ‘verdict’:
a sordid inadequate
-
- – this suggests ignoble actions and motives arousing moral distaste and contempt combined with a biological lack
trained by his childhood – dysfunctional modelling and upbringing by his family and surroundings
addict himself – this both highlights the central, pleasurable place wickedness played in his life and emphasises the crucial place of will (he didn’t become addicted he addicted himself)
to the moment when impotence became prepotence – here is the defining characteristic of the psychopath: he lives for the moments when his power or influence over others occur. Deep beneath this is a secret fear/knowledge of his utter unimportance/worthlessness.
Amis, through the imaginative power of the artist, has captured remarkably well the heart of the matter.
He is not an easy read, but it now occurs to me that in a way our theme has been one of his central themes. For example, Lovefraud readers have recently written worried letters about the perpetuation of psychopathy among the young via antisocial social environments and psychopathic genes. Time magazine’s recent cover story is about the phenomenon of youth delinquency in Britain. Amis was ahead of the curve when he wrote about it in his novel Yellow Dog.
His forthcoming book is a collection of essays on 9/11 called The Second Plane. (You can read one essay, ‘The Age of Horrorism’ , here.) The collection has received a lot of negative comment: Amis is a racist, etc. Well I’ve read a lot of Amis’ work and and can’t square with that judgement. (What he says is that Islamofascism produces awful racist feelings in him and he doesn’t know what to do with them.) I wonder whether some of the objections to his book are due to what we at Lovefraud encounter all the time: regular folks’ refusal to believe in human evil. These are the fortunate people who have not fully encountered evil – hope their luck holds out.
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Back to Dr. Leedom’s article – she makes it clear that the small candle of hope she holds out is not for the full-blown psychopaths Amis writes about, but for those with psychopathic traits.
silvermoon
I feel for you EB
If you want to chat, get my email from Donna. Its fine.
Ox Drover
Dear EB,
It sounds to me like Junior is in that phase, is you say “white” he says “black,” and if you say “Up,” he says “down.” LOL Totally self absorbed and knows it all. Oppositionally defying whatever you say. No, you can’t be 110% sure that daddy-o won’t change, or that the law of gravity won’t be repealed, but it hasn’t happened YET and I’m not holding my breath til either of them does.
Witsends’ son was gonna be a world class skate board champ and make TONS of money and be rich and famous, he didn’t need NO “stinkin ed-u-ma-kat-ion” to be rich and famous. I think he and your Junior might make a skate board TEAM! LOL
Her junior went to live with a friend’s family that took in the poooooor baby to give him a place to stay since his mommy was sooooo mean too him, pooooor baby. But, he got asked to leave there before too long. Then he went to live with his P-father’s parents, and the last I heard he was still there, after turning 18. Still no ed-u-ma-kay-tion and still no millionaire skate board camp, but mom wasn’t bossing him around now and ruining his life any more. Still doesn’t know how to drive or have a driver’s license or a mode of transportation besides “shank’s mare” or the “flat-foot express” or the “shoe-leather trolley.”
I think her son was diagnosed bi-polar, (and or/ ADHD) but refuses to take his medication, and there’s no end of other people in this country or the world that you could probably say the same thing about, but while some or all of these people could be helped with medication &/or therapy for bi-polar or other mental illness, without some cooperation on their part, it is impossible to do it.
How many men/women are staying with someone right this minute that beats the holy carp out of them on a physical basis day after day, and their families and friends are trying to get them to leave? But they stay? Or how many people have mental illnesses that have been diagnosed and treatment offered and they refuse to “take a pill every day?”
I have a friend whose husband has multiple sclerosis and there is pretty good medication for it now with a tiny little injection (painless) every day and HE REFUSES TO TAKE IT. So he is deteriorating physically and mentally because he refuses to “take a shot every day.” He will be in a nursing home before too long, unable to care for himself—why? Because he refused to take the medication that would have helped him.
People smoke and drink and over eat and do other things that are not good for them, or literally kill them or make themselves sick…we all do it to one extent or another…but no one can MAKE anyone else quit drugs, or booze or cigarettes if they are not going to cooperate with treatment or advice.
I know I am preaching to the choir EB, I know you know and agree with everything I have said here…and like me, you WISH IT WASN”T TRUE! But you know what? You have been through a lot and I know how strong you are! I know how ADAMANT you are!
You were there for me this time last year, girlfriend, and your words of comfort meant more to me than I can tell you. I felt like there was nothing holding me up but the floor…and you. So know that I am here for you! ((((hugs)))) and my best wishes and prayers for you!
Sounds like your junior’s “reality meter” is on the fritz too, I think he and witty’s son ordered them from the same people on the Internet who were going to sell your Junior a CAR!!!
peggywhoever
LilOrphan:
Is it you who was here oooh…2 or 3 years ago? Welcome back, I hope all is well with you.
Peggy
one/joy_step_at_a_time
(((((((EB))))))) – you have voiced a fear about your physical health twice in the last couple of days. please get ye to the doctor, you need to quiet that anxious voice with concrete action and a reality check. I know that it’s brutal right now and that you want to shut down…but can you just do that on auto pilot, without thinking about it too much?
and you can borrow my straw – it’s growing longer.
xxxxxoooo
soimnotthecrazee1
EB,
Hugzzz woman! I wish I could do something more than offer you my concern and compassion! You and Silver do need to meet in the barn and chat!!!! Meet midway and visit Ox! LOLOL
soimnotthecrazee1!
soimnotthecrazee1
Wow… what a phrase… “you felt like nothing was holding you up but the floor!!!! BOY… Have I been there for a couple of years. I think I finally crawled up to the baseboard lately. I have spent more time on laundry and breaking down what little bit of Christmas decorations I put up… today. It feels good to do it! I feel like I’m coming out of my shell and the ties that bound me with xspaths criticism. couldn’t do anything to clean or organize anything in xspaths house…. poor baby thought he might have to “THROW OUT SOMETHING” His things meant more to him than I did. I had to work around, cook around, clean around, and try and live around a level 2 hoarder. With me being anal with cleaniness and orginazation, it was a hell of a mix. His spathness came out when I would want to clean and be in control of the house… OH NO>>> like a baby… don’t take away my nipple(his things)!!!!! I wasn’t cold or extreme… I went on him telling me he wanted to make it OUR HOME. As long as I was work slave, maid, dog walker and rape victim it was OK for him!!! OMG
soimnotthecrazee1!
ErinBrock
NCz:
Your a luv…..
I may just leave my xmas stuff here……good for you for taking it all down!
One:
I’ve got an apt this month…..i’ll fit it in……it’s just the stress i know is not good. I proly wouldn’t be concerned if I had not already been ‘taken’ out.
I’m also due for my bloodwork check.
Thanks darlen…….
soimnotthecrazee1
EB,
Hugzzz! I hope your bloodcheck comes out OK. You need to meet “Silvermoon”. Just my gut feeling.
Leave whatever Christmas dec’s you want wherever you want. Just be happy in your change. Will you have bears there? LOLOL and what about Holly?
I hate recalling all the insults from the spath.
soimnotthecrazee1!
geminigirl
EB Darlen,I remember you talking about the “Valley of closed Doors” I hope instead you can feel the Valley of LF Hugs!
I feel for you right now, wish I could give you a REAL {{HUG!!}}
Keep up your Adament darlin! We all love you so much!!
Lotsa Love,
Mama gemXX
ErinBrock
There were PLENTY of insults all around us all……sad!
I also need a…… silverlining!
yes, I will still have the bears…..and Ms. fierce Holly will have to adjust to a new home too. We’ve had Holly 1 year now. She’s my girl!
I can’t go to Dr’s until a few more weeks…..no imminent scare…..just some ‘odd’ things going on gotta get checked.
Been looking into Bankruptcy and the realtor comes tomorrow……started ‘packing’ a few items and placed an ad for ALL my belongings…….come and make offer.
So…..the ball’s a rolling.
No word today from Jr re: ‘his’ move…..proly best this way…..