It should go without saying that there are inherent risks that accompany on-line dating. However, in our electronic age, this practice has become quite acceptable and commonplace. I know many people who have met their very decent significant others on dating sites. Regardless, it is always a good idea to be cautious.
A few years ago, I decided to try a popular site. I was busy juggling parenting, fighting court battles, attending graduate school, and working. Dating was not a priority, but I thought I’d give it a whirl. It wasn’t long before I was matched with the individual I just broke it off with! Initially, I was confused, because while we were together, it did not seem he needed “help” in this area. The nature of his work took him away from home and allowed him to meet a variety of women. However, apparently, he was in between love interests, or simply trolling for a “better” one. Thus, the profile.
After being matched with, and promptly blocking him, I thought about the futures of the women he might meet who were doing nothing more than searching for a “good guy” like the rest of us. Then, I considered the types of people I was being matched with on the site. Most were probably fine, but I couldn’t help but think about the less than stellar experiences I was having. I couldn’t help but think about the super nice guy who claimed to be 5’11”, but was really 5’1″. Now, I don’t care about a guy’s height, but did he really think I wouldn’t notice 10 “missing” inches? All it caused me to do was wonder about what other lies he told. On another occasion, I began “communicating” with someone who turned out to know one of my friends. Her words of warning played over and over in my mind, and the red flags were, in fact, everywhere. Further involvement with him would have probably yielded nothing more than a “repeat performance” of what I already lived through. On another occasion, I was matched with a local person, who was actually married, in spite of his self proclaimed single status on the site. What if I had not already known who he was and became involved?
After a few disastrous dates and then a few others that were simply just not matches, I decided that I needed to meet people the old fashioned way. Nonetheless, on-line dating remains quite popular and a great option for many. However, anyone who ventures out into this environment must be careful. While it can be an excellent way to meet others, it can also be a smorgasbord for the ill intended.
The problems have become so common that the term catfish is now a noun with a new meaning. Essentially, it is used to describe an individual who has created a fake on line profile with the intent of deceiving others. MTV now has a reality show by that title, which chronicles the stories of many who have fallen in love on-line, only to learn the truth (or lies) about their other halves. Entertainment aside, even the FBI acknowledges the potential hazards. Cyber dating has created some unique challenges.
Below, I provide the link for the FBI warning. The fact that they have chosen to address this issue is good indicator that the problem is more widespread than many might think, even if we are fairly more aware than most. Their suggestions may seem like common sense suggestions, but we know how convincing these individuals can be. Often, their strange stories are plausible enough for us to believe. Therefore, it is critical that we move forward with caution. Hopefully, these reminders help us all!
Looking for love? Beware of online dating scams, on FBI.gov.
🙂
Lou, I once had the ‘pleasure’ of visiting the IKEA in Warrington 🙁 x
Tea Light:
So that’s bad? IKEA is a cool store. x
Bluemosaic, it’s the cog/diss trying to kick in – to rationalize the “bad” behaviors of someone else to fit into your system of beliefs. YOU wouldn’t deliberately target, use, and discard someone, so anyone that you would care about and love wouldn’t do it, either. It’s “normal” to try to rationalize this, but once we’re able to “accept” facts as they are, the cog/diss begins to evaporate, little-by-little.
So glad to hear that you’ll begin your counseling! Whatever you do during your sessions, PLEASE – from personal experience – do not allow the word, “sociopath,” escape your lips during sessions. I do not know why this is true, but professional therapists (even the ones that “get it”) have a negative and visceral reaction when their clients render an assessment. Ask many questions about your own reactions – learn techniques to process the experiences and to manage the aftermath.
Brightest blessings
Lou I like IKEA’s products and prices it’s the aircraft hanger stores packed with arguing couples I am not keen on. Plus I always come out with something silly that seemed a must have in the store. You know. Like a lamp in the shape of a banana or a big jar of swedish fish paste lol x
TeaLight! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! arguing couples, banana lamp, and swedish fish paste……..(snort, cackle, guffaw)
Moon & Kim – count me in on the years, beers, and dogs…..
Moon – you really crack me up, sometimes, and I mean some of your comments cause me to startle my cats from laughing aloud! LOL
Oh, holy shitballs…….it’s Friday and I’m already off my rails……(still cackling)
Truthy 🙂 last time I came out with 5 multi packs of Dime bars and a set of screwdrivers. Only £2! Yeah. Like I know how to Do It Myself. lol. x
Tea Light:
I don’t have an IKEA in my area. I would have to travel about 1 1/2 hours to get to one, but I visited one a long, long time ago.
Well, I have one more single friend who has now found someone and is getting engaged. Two now in the past two months. It compounds the feeling of being alone forever. x