By | July 3, 2008 32 Comments

The voice of a sociopath

A Lovefraud reader alerted us to an audio clip on YouTube called, How not to pick up chicks.

Here’s the story, according to the person who posted the audio:

“One of my friends from work and her friend were out one night in the SF Marina district and were hanging outside of the bars trying to find a cab. One of the girls, Olga, ends up meeting this guy Dmitri and they talk for at the most two minutes. She hands him her business card and says call me.”

Here’s what our Lovefraud reader wrote:

“You should be able to hear a telephone recorded message from Dimitri to Olga. It is so telling. Only Dimitri speaks, but for anyone needing/wanting a lesson in identifying red flags this couldn’t be more perfect. For those of us who have been victimized by this pathology, it is also a lesson in really listening to what is being said. For me, a former victim, it made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.”

I literally howled listening to the tape. Here’s the link:

How not to pick up chicks

Posted in: Cases, Donna Andersen

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Again, I can only wonder how one’s brain gets to this level of dysfunction and with no self comprehension that anything’s amiss. I just wish mine had been so obviously whacked.

Like listening to nails on a chalkboard!! Good example, thanks Donna.


Ox Drover

OMG!!!! I laughed until my belly cramped! “I don’t like leaving second messages”—ROTFLMAO—

I can’t believe that Olga didn’t jump at that chance to “let the romance begin”—(sound of me trying to catch my breath here, I can’t stop laughing!)

Thanks for a wonderful belly laugh today, I can’t remember laughing that hard in a long time! Whew! Made me dizzy!



That did not make me laugh. That was very frightening.

The level of manipulation in that message brings back some bad memories.

But from where I sit today, I see it for what it is.. though this guy couldn’t be more obvious!


I wish my S would have sounded like that; I would have never hooked up. This guy was letting the cat out of the bag before he even got started. Even if you don’t know much about S, this was worse than a car saleman trying to sell you a lemon. A time frame and no second messages – kiss my #!! – who the hell are you? Wish we all would have had someone so blunt, maybe the suffering afterwards would not be so bad.


Poor poor Dmitri!!!!!!! The last girlfriend he had, he was probably in a coma. Once he opened his mouth, it would have been all over. SeNsationally fuNNy!! Thanks.


Bad Man wasn’t that bad but there were elements in the way this man was trying to manipulate the woman that were very familiar to me.

Creepy. EEeeuuuwwww. BUT it did not give me an anxiety attack. A year ago, it woul



What a waste of pixels. Pathetic comes to mind. What happened to people acting natural?


It wasn’t the least bit funny to me, it did give me an anxiety attack. I hope Olga learned not to give out her phone number on first contact!!!!


What is un-nerving to me is that there is “one born every day”. Talk about full of himself! It would be funny if it was not so true-these are the kind I always meet.

Ox Drover

What made me LAUGH was that yes, he was so “full of himself” that any of us would immediately make a “diagnosis” and yes, he did sound like a used-lemon salesman. Today and today only,, get this special model, now I don’t usually give second chances, but “you’re special.” To US it is OBVIOUS but maybe to some love starved vulnerable potential victom it would sound like a “great deal”—-but to me it was so OBVIOUS I can’t believe he ever got the first date with that technique, but maybe he has, who knows.

I do know one thing, it doesn’t take a PhD or medical degree in psychology to diagnose that one! He is a Classic Lemon.

newworld view

can i pick my jaw up yet to close my mouth…..omg…..her gf were jealous cause he approached her!!!! does SHE have any mental problems??? WHO”S behavior is push-pull oops passive-… aggressive???………hes already sending her to a psych for not answering. her message…she doesnt know what shell be missing???he is such a catch???… have a cafe and let the romance begin!! after all he is good in bed and she is elegant…he wouldnt settle for less than elegant….hes so busy trying to meet her that he is aware what all the gf are thinking…gee is that him looking for supply…..not only does it make my skin crawl out of embarrassment and shame for him..relisten and i apologize but i too am rotflmao…..what a loon…i can see the guy from THE OFFICE and THE FORTY YR OLD VIRGIN playing that role as a farce in a movie…no one like that can be for real….oh thats the point, THEY ARENT REAL!!!!!! it doesnt get more inhuman or alien than that….maybe something really did land at roswell and they try to mimic humans!!!!!


OMG!! are you kidding me. i couldt even listen to it anymore it was making me sick. iam laughing so hard about it bc is so fake sounding, its the funniest thing ive ever heard, how could anyone believe that could be real. that GUY NEEDS A LIFE


Glad you posted Dmitri on-line. Great poster boy for bad boy international. Reminded me of the time I just moved from one city to another. While moving a friend of my sister’s spotted me and rang my doorbell the first night in my new place. Of course after chatting for a 1/2 hour (at the door to my building) he asked what I was doing Saturday night. We agreed that he would pick me up at 8:00. 8:00 p.m. Saturday night came and went. By nine o’clock I was back in my casual wear listening to my stereo. 9:45 p.m. and someone is ringing my doorbell. I ignored answering my intercom. Ring, ring, ring went my doorbell. Still, I refused to answer it. This persistence continued for another 10 minutes until my superintendent knocked on my door. Aren’t you going to see who’s downstairs being obnoxious. I said, No. He said, well I’m going to tell him to get lost if you don’t. I ended up going downstairs with my superintendent. My date was standing out in front of my building saying “why aren’t you dressed, you knew we had a date tonight”. I said “we had a date at 8:00 and you weren’t here, good bye”. “Good bye, what are you crazy, I came all the way over here to get you”. I said, “there’s a phone booth on every corner in this state and then some, you could have called and told me that you would be late”. He then told me “well, I’m here now, let’s go”. I said “no, there is no excuse why you couldn’t call and tell me that you would not be on time”. He kept insisting that we go out and I held my ground. Finally, my superintendent told him to leave the premises that he got his answer. The next evening my sister called and said the guy was all upset and what did I think I was doing? I told her what happened and she said to me “you’re so picky, this guy has liked you since High School”. I said, “yeah, and now I remember why I never dated him back then”. If only I knew in advance that my ex was this way. I could have acted the same way with him. Oh, well, live and learn. Smile though, it’s contagious and our sense of humors and our love for life is something no one can ever take away from us.


I wondered what happened to the “Pathological Liar” character Jon Lovitz played on Saturday Night Live… the only thing missing from Dmitri’s diatribe was, “and my former girlfriend was the very beautiful and talented Morgan Fairchild..Yes, that’s the ticket….”

The xs said lots of things like that to me- if only he had said them all at once like Dmitri. I think if all that bs had been piled up on me at once, I SURELY would have smelled something!


That is appaling and frightening and completely repulsive. ICK in triplicate.
Anyone who gets involved with that creature will be in for nothing but misery.
Red Flag Red Flag Red Flag.
Avoid at all costs.
That message made my skin crawl.


nothing wrong with him? ahahahahahaha.

i can hear little bits of the different Ss and Ns I’ve known. even the inflection of his voice when he said ‘call me.’ the elegant woman thing was a big give away for flattery. trying to make her feel like her friends were jealous was quite a bit much without even having ever had a single conversation with her. hilarious.

horrible. that is one desperate S/N.


That was hilarious, has anyone seen the videos? They’re even funnier. At least the red flags were easy to see.

Are we talking about this guy?:


This guy is making money from the explosion of the seduction/ mind control industry… like Ross Jeffries & David Shade


Thanks so much for this special treat!

So this is what a true sociopath sounds like!

Saw so many “red flags” I stopped counting..LOL


Dear James:

Read Tolle’s “A New Earth”. In his book, he explains the ego and how to quiet one’s ego, go silent, be still. Very interesting perspective this man writing from his pain (hitting rock bottom) wrote. Tolle states that he did NOT write this book. He prayed to God to end the pain in his life (caused by his parents fighting all those years) and he put his life in God’s hands. Tolle then explains how while he was working in the Spirit, the words were written on the page. Words that were written centuries ago, he just put the words on paper for others to read.


Thanks Free!

Wow guess one never know just how deep the rabbit hole really goes…..

Sick puppy and a sad case indeed….


OMG this guy is no sociopath- he’s just a jerk!

Ox Drover

Actually, you will at least have to give Dimitri an A+ for creativity, by turning his psychopathic sickness into a business. Now if that’s not making lemonade out of lemons I don’t know what is. LOL

The thing that is the craziest thing to me about it is that there are people who will actually PAY TO TAKE LESSONS from the sick bastard!


I read the post in the Toronto Sun and of course was appalled by this Dmitri/Sears character. However, think about what he is doing, teaching men how to pick up chicks. This man is a blatant N/S/P whatever label you care to put on him. He is just out in the open (unlike those we have encountered) spewing his venom and recruiting others to follow his lead.

I found the telephone message on YouTube to be a “short cut” lesson for those wondering how the trap is set and what to expect later. It is a condensed version of what most of us have experienced in our relationship with the “bad man/woman”.

In the Toronto Sun article it is mentioned that Dmitri/Sears underwent a psychiatric evaluation and was found to have “no major psychiatric illness” however he was immature, manipulative and “narcissistic”.

The idea that Sears is profitting from his disorder is outrageous and speaks volumes about the culture and society in which we live. Men pay money to hear a creature denigrate women and that men are hard-wired to rape and conquer the opposite sex. This leads me to believe that the estimated data of 1-4% of the population is N/S/P is incorrect. I truly believe there are many more of the pathologicals trolling the earth on a constant search for the next victim.

We all write of how our encounters with this type of creature has had an extremely negative effect on our lives. We have difficulty forgetting, letting go and emotionally healing. I cannot include forgiveness because for me I will never forgive the N for taking full advantage of my goodness and caring. He was/is a predator and I barely escaped with my psyche intact.

These individuals do not deserve forgiveness and are not worthy of the effort.

Although some of you may have found this YouTube clip to be humorous (perhaps that is a sign that you are well on your way to recovery) for me it was bone-chilling. It did remind me (in an abbreviated version) of the way the N worked to control me. There were red flags every where, but I refused to see. The red flags (maybe they started out pink) were more subtle than Dmitri’s but were there just the same.


I just listened to the clip on YouTube, and I did NOT like the way he said, IF I DO NOT HEAR FROM YOU BY 3PM TOMORROW, FORGET IT, sheesh, he sounded so confident, so full of himself, he even said I AM QUITE A CATCH, brother, can he get through doorways with that head of his???? That is a right turn-off if ever I heard one, brother, I am wondering what Olga saw in him, was she really THAT desperate???? I hope she turned him down cold, I would have!!!!


It is shocking to think that this technique actually would ever work with any woman.

I say that after being duped by one of his ilk. It’s just that in my case, and I would imagine with most who post here, the techniques may have been the same, but they were at least mixed in with him acting more normal and nice in the beginning and the red flags were spread out over time before they became a more frequent and consistent part of his behavior.

I would love to have a psych professional take the transcript of this tape and analyze it bit by bit. I would like to see each sentence or phrase he utters identified for what it says about him. This would be like an index of what to look out for. I would like my friends and my daughters to have the list so they know what to watch out for.

I realize it would be rare for a single sentence on its own to signify such a warped person. Usually it is the picture that is built up over time. But for this guy, there were actual single sentences that were, standing alone, big danger signals.

O.K. this one’s much more subtle. One of our exposed predators did a call in show with a friend. He calls himself “Sammy” Now, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE forget the politics being discussed here… just listen to one BIG Thing…

HE WAITS FOR PAMELA, the show’s host, TO PROFER AN OPINION AND THEN HE EITHER AGREES WITH HER OR REPEATS HER OPINION A FEW MINUTES LATER…. this is part of the sociopath’s profiling. Mirroring his target!!

This was sent to us by his Target #2. CLICK HERE He comes in a few minutes into the broadcast so be patient.

When we listened to it, all of us realized he was saying nothing but parroting the host in order to look good and promote his website.

Dmitri is much more obvious and wow… what a puke fest! But a great example of the importance of REALLY LISTENING to people before you get suckered in.


Dear Fighter

I haven’t listened to any of the clips because I can’t access that type of content at work but your comment, “Mirroring his target!!” jumped out at me. That is exactly how I described my ex-P.

After his lies were exposed I realised how he took my life experiences and things I said and mirrored them. I had a difficult childhood and a complicated painful relationship with my parents so of course, so did he. Except he had to go one better and say that he was adopted (he’s not). I spent some time living overseas so of course he did too (another lie).

These are just two examples of how he mirrored me.

I’ve been having a bad few days and last night I felt physically ill when I thought about how he pawed through my life. I told him my hopes and dreams, my fears and vulnerabilites and all the time he was thinking of how he could use my words to his advantage. I don’t know when I’ll stop feeling contaminated.


Dear Fighter, I read the articles on your site almost every day and they are very good for giving people a reality check and I like the clear way they are written.

Mirroring can be a natural response between people who are ‘in tune’, but I guess you are talking about mirroring that is designed to consciously manipulate.

Mirroring can be a natural response between people who are ’in tune’, but I guess you are talking about mirroring that is designed to consciously manipulate.

Predators COUNT ON their victims thinking EXACTLY what you said in your first sentence.

We don’t GUESS – they ARE trying to consciously manipulate!! But how are you to know?? Unfortunately, you MUST ASSUME for your own safety everyone’s a predator until they prove beyond a shadow of a doubt (and you do a background check) that they aren’t.

Feeling “in tune” with you is PRECISELY one of the modus operandi of both online & offline predators. ASSUME NOTHING.

kim frederick

OMG, This guys words are professing one thing while his narrcistic wound is screaming another. He’s absolutely grovelling, while at the same time, flattering, insulting professing the Demitri cult of ME ME ME. It’s astonishing that these fools can’t hear themselves and have absolutely no sence of how repusive they are. Unbelievable.


I listened to that u tube about 5 months ago. I forgot about it and it is unbelievable.

I spread that one around to several girlfriends and my female clients….

Recently, a man I had just met “told” me to put his number in my cell phone and then call him right back so he would have my number…..Nahhhh

He didn’t politely ask for my number or give me his and ask me to call if I wanted to. He told me what to do……

In this case above, Dimitri is all out there…….with a loudspeaker…..about who he is……

The ones who aren’t so obvious….the ones who are more crafty…well……..I am learning how to “hear” the sociopath…..Listening closely to what is between the lines……his bait…..

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