ThePsychoExWife.com and the First Amendment

From time to time, Lovefraud hears from men who complain that we talk about male sociopaths but not female sociopaths. Actually, I was very careful to refer to both men and women in every post on the main website, Lovefraud.com. And here on the Lovefraud Blog, we do have a category devoted to female sociopaths. But the fact it, approximately 80 percent of Lovefraud readers are women who were exploited by sociopathic men. So yes, it does seem that Lovefraud tilts towards male predators.

That’s why a website called ThePsychoExWife.com is an important resource.

I first learned about this website last week from the following story in the Philadelphia Inquirer:

Divorce blog’s rancor erupts in free-speech dispute

Here’s the gist of the story: A suburban Philadelphia man and his wife split up six years ago, after a nine-year marriage. However, the child custody battle raged on, featuring antics by the ex-wife that will look very familiar to those of you who are attempting to co-parent with sociopaths.

So the ex-husband and his new partner launched ThePsychoExWife.com as a place to vent. No names are used. The ex-husband is identified only as “LM.” His new partner is “DW.” His two sons are “S1” and “S2.” And his ex-wife is “PEW.” This stands for, as you can guess, “Psycho Ex Wife.”

Apparently the website was up for several years, and recently PEW found it. LM contends that, because no one is identified, PEW had to be actively looking for it in order to discover it. He also contends that PEW showed the website to their two boys.

PEW complained about the website to the court. Here’s what happened next, according to the article:

At a June 6 custody hearing, Bucks County Court Judge Diane Gibbons ordered him to “take down that website” and never again refer to his ex-wife “on any public media” or mention his children online “other than ‘happy birthday’ or other significant school events.”

Judge Gibbons essentially threatened LM—if he did not take ThePsychoExWife.com down, he would lose his 50% custody of the children.

LM contends that the court order is a violation of his First Amendment right of free speech. He’s hired another lawyer to appeal it.

Borderline Personality Disorder

Based on the theatrics and manipulation exhibited by the ex-wife, LM has come to the conclusion that she has borderline personality disorder.

Borderline personality disorder is a sister condition to sociopathy. Like sociopaths and narcissists, someone who has this disorder has difficulty recognizing the feelings and needs of others. They also tend to have unstable emotions, on-and-off mood changes, and emotional reactions that are out of proportion to whatever events have triggered them. So what is different? Unlike sociopathy, a central feature of borderline disorder is anxiety.

Researchers estimate that 1% to 3% of the United States has borderline personality disorder—the same prevalence as antisocial personality disorder. However, according to the DSM-IV, about 75% of those diagnosed with borderline personality disorder are women. “You should know that there is a gender bias in diagnosis such that women are often labeled ”˜borderline,’” wrote Dr. Liane Leedom in her Lovefraud Blog article, Sociopaths, cluster B personality disorders and psychopathy. “These women can also be sociopaths who leave a trail of victimized friends, lovers and children in their wakes.”

PEW admits that she has an alcohol problem, she has lost her job and her house is in foreclosure. Reading her emails that have been reproduced on the website, she appears manipulative and blaming. I’d say LM’s assessment of her is correct.

So ThePsychoExWife.com has become a resource for people dealing with a woman with borderline personality disorder. According to testimonials, even therapists find the website to be helpful.

Save the site

LM has complied with the court order and the home page of ThePsychoExWife.com has been shut down. But a new website has been launched, SaveThePsychoExWife.com. This website chronicles the court battle and posts several court documents. The transcript of the hearing in which Judge Diane E. Gibbons ordered the website shut down is enlightening.

Apparently, pages of original site, ThePsychoExWife.com, are buried in Google’s servers, because you can still find them. Here’s the About page, which will enable you to read other pages.

LM and DW face an expensive court battle, and are asking for donations to help defray their legal expenses. This website is providing information about a serious personality disorder. Hundreds of people have benefitted from ThePsychoExWife.com, and we know how helpful an online support group can be.

This is an important case for Lovefraud. We’ve run into First Amendment issues before. Phil Haberman was able to convince a family court judge in Florida that his ex-wife was stalking him when she wrote a blog exposing his military fraud. The Stolen Valor Act has been struck down, with federal judges ruling that the lies of men who claim to have won medals is protected speech.

Information about personality disorders needs to be made public, and frauds need to be exposed. But the law about blogs and the First Amendment is very unclear. So I’ve donated, and I encourage you to donate as well.



ThePsychoExWife.com will be featured on the Today Show tomorrow morning. Tune in!

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164 Comments on "ThePsychoExWife.com and the First Amendment"

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I totally see your point about the violence, that is soooo true.
Though my spath never hit me, he did take my car keys and controlled me, knowing that he could overpower me.

That’s why each time I left him, I did it when he was gone. LOL! He would come home to a completely empty apartment because I owned all the furniture. 😛

But I’m still reeling from the toxicity that my parents put on me. And knowing that they are toxic does not make it any easier to (as Oxy so eloquently put it) cut off those limbs.

My mother in particular, is very destructive without doing anything “wrong”. To date, I think I’ve run into more toxic women than men.

I read about some research recently (can’t remember where–CRS) about testosterone in the womb effecting whether or not a fetus grows up to be a psychopath or not.

I do know that many male psychopaths seem to “morph” at puberty and my son Patrick was definitely one of those who did that. He was a good kid, no behavior problem at all until he hit puberty. I had one instance of theft before he hit puberty that was a “tell” but it seemed to be an isolated incidence at the time.

I do think that there is a great hormonal response to the genes and may be part of what turns them “on”—or “off.”

I read that about testosterone, too, seems very plausible with other genetic markers and environmental factors.

Yes, I’ve read that as well, but we have to be careful how we interpret data.

I’ve also read that a child who has 2 or 3 older siblings gets exposed to more testosterone in the womb. It seems to be left over? from previous pregnancies. Usually this results in the fetus ending up gay, for both male and females. That’s based on what I’ve read. The cue being the length of the ring finger(I think) as a ratio to the index finger.

Spath and I had this discussion when the study first came out. He seemed obsessed by it. Then we both figured out that the ratio can be skewed by how you hold your hand.

He was desperate to prove he wasn’t gay. Little did he know that he wasn’t ANYTHING. He wasted his “shame” on an irrelevant detail. ROTFLMAO.

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