From time to time, Lovefraud hears from men who complain that we talk about male sociopaths but not female sociopaths. Actually, I was very careful to refer to both men and women in every post on the main website, Lovefraud.com. And here on the Lovefraud Blog, we do have a category devoted to female sociopaths. But the fact it, approximately 80 percent of Lovefraud readers are women who were exploited by sociopathic men. So yes, it does seem that Lovefraud tilts towards male predators.
That’s why a website called ThePsychoExWife.com is an important resource.
I first learned about this website last week from the following story in the Philadelphia Inquirer:
Divorce blog’s rancor erupts in free-speech dispute
Here’s the gist of the story: A suburban Philadelphia man and his wife split up six years ago, after a nine-year marriage. However, the child custody battle raged on, featuring antics by the ex-wife that will look very familiar to those of you who are attempting to co-parent with sociopaths.
So the ex-husband and his new partner launched ThePsychoExWife.com as a place to vent. No names are used. The ex-husband is identified only as “LM.” His new partner is “DW.” His two sons are “S1” and “S2.” And his ex-wife is “PEW.” This stands for, as you can guess, “Psycho Ex Wife.”
Apparently the website was up for several years, and recently PEW found it. LM contends that, because no one is identified, PEW had to be actively looking for it in order to discover it. He also contends that PEW showed the website to their two boys.
PEW complained about the website to the court. Here’s what happened next, according to the article:
At a June 6 custody hearing, Bucks County Court Judge Diane Gibbons ordered him to “take down that website” and never again refer to his ex-wife “on any public media” or mention his children online “other than ‘happy birthday’ or other significant school events.”
Judge Gibbons essentially threatened LM—if he did not take ThePsychoExWife.com down, he would lose his 50% custody of the children.
LM contends that the court order is a violation of his First Amendment right of free speech. He’s hired another lawyer to appeal it.
Borderline Personality Disorder
Based on the theatrics and manipulation exhibited by the ex-wife, LM has come to the conclusion that she has borderline personality disorder.
Borderline personality disorder is a sister condition to sociopathy. Like sociopaths and narcissists, someone who has this disorder has difficulty recognizing the feelings and needs of others. They also tend to have unstable emotions, on-and-off mood changes, and emotional reactions that are out of proportion to whatever events have triggered them. So what is different? Unlike sociopathy, a central feature of borderline disorder is anxiety.
Researchers estimate that 1% to 3% of the United States has borderline personality disorder—the same prevalence as antisocial personality disorder. However, according to the DSM-IV, about 75% of those diagnosed with borderline personality disorder are women. “You should know that there is a gender bias in diagnosis such that women are often labeled ”˜borderline,’” wrote Dr. Liane Leedom in her Lovefraud Blog article, Sociopaths, cluster B personality disorders and psychopathy. “These women can also be sociopaths who leave a trail of victimized friends, lovers and children in their wakes.”
PEW admits that she has an alcohol problem, she has lost her job and her house is in foreclosure. Reading her emails that have been reproduced on the website, she appears manipulative and blaming. I’d say LM’s assessment of her is correct.
So ThePsychoExWife.com has become a resource for people dealing with a woman with borderline personality disorder. According to testimonials, even therapists find the website to be helpful.
Save the site
LM has complied with the court order and the home page of ThePsychoExWife.com has been shut down. But a new website has been launched, SaveThePsychoExWife.com. This website chronicles the court battle and posts several court documents. The transcript of the hearing in which Judge Diane E. Gibbons ordered the website shut down is enlightening.
Apparently, pages of original site, ThePsychoExWife.com, are buried in Google’s servers, because you can still find them. Here’s the About page, which will enable you to read other pages.
LM and DW face an expensive court battle, and are asking for donations to help defray their legal expenses. This website is providing information about a serious personality disorder. Hundreds of people have benefitted from ThePsychoExWife.com, and we know how helpful an online support group can be.
This is an important case for Lovefraud. We’ve run into First Amendment issues before. Phil Haberman was able to convince a family court judge in Florida that his ex-wife was stalking him when she wrote a blog exposing his military fraud. The Stolen Valor Act has been struck down, with federal judges ruling that the lies of men who claim to have won medals is protected speech.
Information about personality disorders needs to be made public, and frauds need to be exposed. But the law about blogs and the First Amendment is very unclear. So I’ve donated, and I encourage you to donate as well.
UPDATE:
ThePsychoExWife.com will be featured on the Today Show tomorrow morning. Tune in!
Lizzy One of my son’s has two of the sweetest pitbulls. my wieners are meaner than they are…it all depends on how they are raised..I love all dogs..dont want to offend pitbull owners..
Hens, darling I don’t really care about “offending” pit bull dog owners. GENETICS is the primary motivation in dogs and humans, and pits are like the spanish fighting bulls, they are BRED to fight. You can train and socialize them, BUT you NEVER KNOW when they will “go off” in a rage. Read another article about a Pit that tore her owner up while she slept….killed her. It happens more with that breed than with others. Some of the little “yappy” dogs may bite more frequently than Pits BUT pits do the MAJOR DAMAGE just because of the size and strength of their teeth and the fact that once they do go into a rage, they almost can’t be stopped except by killing or knocking them out. It only takes ONE TIME for them to kill someone and they you say “Opps, sorry about that, I was wrong.”
That’s why I won’t keep a dog or any animal that is bred to be aggressive. My breed of cattle are bred to be calm tempered, but if one acts aggressive…it is off to the butcher shop. Ditto for a horse or dog or anything else that is likely to try to hurt me or someone else. Especially if it is BIG enough and powerful enough to kill someone.
wieners are real jerks when they want to be! 🙂
my neighbours have a 14 week old (and he is getting huge!) dobbie who came to live here at six weeks – so we have known each other for most of his life. 🙂 he is really lovely. he has good owners, off to puppy school and they are very firm and loving with him. he has a beautiful character – very sweet and very bonded to his people. he stops at my door every day (i am smitten) and we have a little pet (then i go in and hose myself down!) – it’s quite wonderful. i have never known a dobbie before, he’s not aggressive in the least, and he reminds me most of the very sweet wiener my mom had who died of cancer last year. beautiful beautiful dog.
peace out all …way past my bed time… love to you all xoxox
nite onestep – i love dobbies..Oxy actually you are right about pitbulls – and I worry about my grandkids – I expressed my concerns – and well you know the rest of the story……
Well, here it is 4AM and I’m awake. dang it.
I don’t care for pitbulls either. scary dogs, no matter how nice.
My spath brought home a black german shepard one day. 2 or 3 years old. He was really beautiful but scary looking. When I walked him down the street, people would cross to the other sidewalk and yell, “beautiful dog” they didn’t want to walk on the same sidewalk. his name was Coal. (spath said his original name was Coal train to hell, sheesh! another tell)
Coal bit a deaf girl for leaning on spath’s car and not moving after he barked, (not hard enough to break skin) and also went after a neighbors little dog, one time (so said spath). Both times, in the company of the spath. When he was with me, he was like a kitten. One time, I put a pink ribbon on him, and walked him. People stopped crossing the street and petted him instead. This dog could absolutely “feel” what people were thinking. That pink ribbon changed everything.
I love german shepards, no way I’d have a pit bull.
Hens:
I LOVE Frank Lloyd Wright. I have many pieces from FLW that were gifts to me. I have a pillow, clock, throw and a coffee table book. I have even visited one of his most beautiful creations…Falling Water in Pennsylvania. It is awesome.
Louise Frank’s only sky scraper is in bartlesville, okla. i have stayed there – was awesome…..
Hey, guys. I’m here to tell you that my email got hacked. I’m sorry if you’ve received some email from me and clicked on the link.. DON’T click on the link!! I’m trying to get it cleared up now. Some got sent out this morning and some later this evening. I’m workin’ on it!!
Hens:
Skyscraper? I would love to stay there. That guy was a genius for sure.
I hope you are doing well tonight! 🙂