From time to time, Lovefraud hears from men who complain that we talk about male sociopaths but not female sociopaths. Actually, I was very careful to refer to both men and women in every post on the main website, Lovefraud.com. And here on the Lovefraud Blog, we do have a category devoted to female sociopaths. But the fact it, approximately 80 percent of Lovefraud readers are women who were exploited by sociopathic men. So yes, it does seem that Lovefraud tilts towards male predators.
That’s why a website called ThePsychoExWife.com is an important resource.
I first learned about this website last week from the following story in the Philadelphia Inquirer:
Divorce blog’s rancor erupts in free-speech dispute
Here’s the gist of the story: A suburban Philadelphia man and his wife split up six years ago, after a nine-year marriage. However, the child custody battle raged on, featuring antics by the ex-wife that will look very familiar to those of you who are attempting to co-parent with sociopaths.
So the ex-husband and his new partner launched ThePsychoExWife.com as a place to vent. No names are used. The ex-husband is identified only as “LM.” His new partner is “DW.” His two sons are “S1” and “S2.” And his ex-wife is “PEW.” This stands for, as you can guess, “Psycho Ex Wife.”
Apparently the website was up for several years, and recently PEW found it. LM contends that, because no one is identified, PEW had to be actively looking for it in order to discover it. He also contends that PEW showed the website to their two boys.
PEW complained about the website to the court. Here’s what happened next, according to the article:
At a June 6 custody hearing, Bucks County Court Judge Diane Gibbons ordered him to “take down that website” and never again refer to his ex-wife “on any public media” or mention his children online “other than ‘happy birthday’ or other significant school events.”
Judge Gibbons essentially threatened LM—if he did not take ThePsychoExWife.com down, he would lose his 50% custody of the children.
LM contends that the court order is a violation of his First Amendment right of free speech. He’s hired another lawyer to appeal it.
Borderline Personality Disorder
Based on the theatrics and manipulation exhibited by the ex-wife, LM has come to the conclusion that she has borderline personality disorder.
Borderline personality disorder is a sister condition to sociopathy. Like sociopaths and narcissists, someone who has this disorder has difficulty recognizing the feelings and needs of others. They also tend to have unstable emotions, on-and-off mood changes, and emotional reactions that are out of proportion to whatever events have triggered them. So what is different? Unlike sociopathy, a central feature of borderline disorder is anxiety.
Researchers estimate that 1% to 3% of the United States has borderline personality disorder—the same prevalence as antisocial personality disorder. However, according to the DSM-IV, about 75% of those diagnosed with borderline personality disorder are women. “You should know that there is a gender bias in diagnosis such that women are often labeled ”˜borderline,’” wrote Dr. Liane Leedom in her Lovefraud Blog article, Sociopaths, cluster B personality disorders and psychopathy. “These women can also be sociopaths who leave a trail of victimized friends, lovers and children in their wakes.”
PEW admits that she has an alcohol problem, she has lost her job and her house is in foreclosure. Reading her emails that have been reproduced on the website, she appears manipulative and blaming. I’d say LM’s assessment of her is correct.
So ThePsychoExWife.com has become a resource for people dealing with a woman with borderline personality disorder. According to testimonials, even therapists find the website to be helpful.
Save the site
LM has complied with the court order and the home page of ThePsychoExWife.com has been shut down. But a new website has been launched, SaveThePsychoExWife.com. This website chronicles the court battle and posts several court documents. The transcript of the hearing in which Judge Diane E. Gibbons ordered the website shut down is enlightening.
Apparently, pages of original site, ThePsychoExWife.com, are buried in Google’s servers, because you can still find them. Here’s the About page, which will enable you to read other pages.
LM and DW face an expensive court battle, and are asking for donations to help defray their legal expenses. This website is providing information about a serious personality disorder. Hundreds of people have benefitted from ThePsychoExWife.com, and we know how helpful an online support group can be.
This is an important case for Lovefraud. We’ve run into First Amendment issues before. Phil Haberman was able to convince a family court judge in Florida that his ex-wife was stalking him when she wrote a blog exposing his military fraud. The Stolen Valor Act has been struck down, with federal judges ruling that the lies of men who claim to have won medals is protected speech.
Information about personality disorders needs to be made public, and frauds need to be exposed. But the law about blogs and the First Amendment is very unclear. So I’ve donated, and I encourage you to donate as well.
UPDATE:
ThePsychoExWife.com will be featured on the Today Show tomorrow morning. Tune in!
One Joy,
We posted over each other.
the reason they didn’t use the ones that you told them had worked well before is because they KNOW that out bodies and the flora inside them become tolerant to any antibiotic we’ve taken before. It will work less and less well as time goes on.
Because the docs were genuinely worried, they decided to use one that has not been used before, to make sure that the bacteria aren’t immune to it.
If you want to get them to give you what you want, you have to tell them which ones you don’t want and explain that you have had a reaction previously. Don’t even mention the one you actually want. Hopefully by process of elimination, you’ll get what you wanted in the first place. But then you have to hope it still works.
Best thing is avoid antibiotics if you can. Goldenseal helps.
One Joy Step,
I don’t know, this has never happened to me before. All of a sudden all these emails stared showing up, that I DID NOT send. I notified the people I could…Some nasty emails showed up for some of my friends…I felt I had to notify as many people as possible. This has never happened to me before…how embarrassing…Did ya get my warnig email? I hope so.. We will still hang the door. regardless of nonsense emails…don’t try to make sense out of nonsense..Keep in touch..love Ana
Sky ~ I grew up with a beautiful German Shepherd. She acted as if I was her pup when they brought me home from the hospital. I believe that they are one of the most loyal breeds around. They have very good people instincts too.
If only we (as in all of us) had always known how to listen to OUR instincts that way. It surely would have saved us a LOT of heartache and stress from dealing with SPATHS.
sky – i know why they did it. but i have only taken antibiotics 3 times as an adult. I know all about how i react and ‘experimenting’ is a REALLY bad idea. i have a number of antibiotic allergies that we figured out when i was a kid – so i don’t mess with antibiotics unless absolutely necessary. i am just sick to death of doctors not fucking listening, and being so damn cavalier with my life. and i am pouting.
(((((((((((ONE JOY))))))))))))) Big hugs to you hon. You’re entitled to pout. I’d be p o’d at the docs too.
EB~! Two mil? wow that would build a heck of a log cabin. ok pumpkin time for me – gnite
hey ana – i haven’t checked my email yet. but have a really good sense about what not to open in general. thanks for the heads up. 🙂
🙂 Hens, gnite
gnite h2h – group hug for onestep – if she loses her leg she will only need to buy one shoe – think on the brite side….
hens, you a**hole! 🙂 you know how much one joy likes her shoes (and that’s plural!)