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By | August 21, 2009 262 Comments

True and pithy observations about narcissists

Editor’s Note: Laughs in the e-mail today sent by a Lovefraud reader. Enjoy!

Narcissist sayings about themselves:
“A lie is as good as the truth if you can get someone to believe it.'”
“I’m really easy to get along with once you learn to worship me.”

About Narcissists:
“He was the only man I ever knew that could strut while sitting down.”
“Every narcissist woman wants a man she can look down on.”
“There’s nothing wrong with narcissists that reasoning with them won’t aggravate.”
“She was truly a legend in her own mind”

Things it is better NOT to say to a Narcissist:
“I’d love to stay and listen to you talk about yourself, but I gotta run.”
“Before you begin, may I adjust your crown?”
“They told me you weren’t foolish enough to lie all the time. I stuck up for you and said you were.”
“I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.”
“You were sent here as a warning to normal people, weren’t you?”
“Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.”
“Does this mean you’re about to rage? Would you mind doing something useful while you are at it, like getting me a beer and a sandwich?”
“You can’t be serious? Oh! Is this going to be on Candid Camera? Where’s the hidden camera? (begin looking)”
“300,000,000 sperm and YOU were the best they could find for the job?”

Other Narcissist riddles and sayings:
“A narcissist is someone who after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.”
“How does a female narcissist sleep? First she lies on one side, then she lies on the other.”
What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a Narcissist? An offer you can’t refuse, but you can’t rely on either.”
“Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of narcissists? He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren’t met.”
“What do a narcissist and sperm have in common? Both have about a 1 in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.”
“Narcissists are one of the main sources of income for therapists. Not that they ever come for therapy themselves because they know they don’t need to. But just one narcissist can easily drive ten other people into long term therapy.”


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Ox Drover

Donna you are TWISTED!!! LOL I LOVE IT!!!!!
ROTFLMAO I bet if we all added to this list we could get a 600 page book together in a matter of days! THANKS FOR THE LAUGH!!!

ErinBrock

Donna:
:“I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.”:

I’m using this one in court on Friday!!!
These are great…..glad we could have some fun with it!!!
Have a great weekend ladies!
XXOO
eb

kim frederick

And how many does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. He stands on a chair, takes a hold of the light bulb, and the whole world revolves around him.

super chic

I will always cherish… this post! LMAO!!

neveragain

Shelley Winters:
We had a lot in common. I loved him and he loved him.

PInow

A narcissist is someone who after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.”

And then you feel guilty that you had not done it yourself after 10 hour work day, cooking and attending to fires that somehow need to be put out every time the P is near.

Tilly

This is my style!!! I LOVE THIS! and this one is my favourite because it is so true, “…..just one narcissist can easily drive ten other people into long term therapy.”

Brilhancy

Brilhant…..Love it

My favourite:

“What do a narcissist and sperm have in common? Both have about a 1 in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.”

Ox Drover

Our problem was we had different religions. He thought HE WAS GOD, and I didn’t. (not original but don’t know who said it CRS)

An N’s marriage proposal:

“You, poor and obscure, and small and plain as you are–I entreat you to accept me as a husband.” (Mr. Rochester proposing in “Jane Eyre”) Charlotte Bronte.

A description of marriage to an N:

“… there is a selfish and an unselfish partner. A pattern is set up and soon becomes inflexible, one person always making the demands and one person always giving way.” Iris Murdoch

muldoon.

LOL..I identify with nearly all of them…Now rod tyill 3pm today, left a message to say will ring at the time I am usualy home, between 6.30 and 7 Undecided as of yet wether to abuse him or totally ignore him.

Elizabeth Conley

Thanx. We needed that!

ErinBrock

IGNORE HIM!!!!!!!!!!
Do NOT TRY TO “ONE UP” HIM WITH ABUSE>……
YOU HAVE ALREADY BEEN THAT ROUTE!
NO CONTACT, get your legal end in order and stick with your plan…….he doesn’t need to be threatened by you, told what you plan to do, given a heads up or any other type of contact…..he will find out soon enough wht is going to happen.
WHY HEAR IT FROM YOU……
TUrn your thinking around, and act like the snake in the grass……when it’s time to legally strike, then strike hard fast and steady…….
He’ll figure it all out on his own…..that he fucked up and it’s DONE!
He cant’ push you in any direction now……he made this, now it’s you that’s in control of your destiny…
RESIST YOUR URGE, you will find empowerment in this choice.
Good luck!
XXOO

Ox Drover

Muldoon,

Erin is RIGHT. The ONLY SAFE COURSE is to NO CONTACT HIM…she is right too, you cannot “win” in this contest, except by DEPRIVING HIM OF WHAT HE NEEDS MOST—-CONTACT WITH YOU TO PLAY HIS GAMES. If he is being sweet it is a LIE if he is being nasty it is the TRUTH and you do not need to fight back except by TAKING YOURSELF OUT OF HIS REACH.

Believe it or not, THAT IS THE ONE THING THAT IS THE WORST—W*O*R*S*T PUNISHMENT you can do to them, like putting a hardened criminal in SOLITARY confinement is the worst, worse than a flogging,or anything else, these people MUST HAVE CONTACT to play their games and if you deprive them of that IT IS HORRIBLE PUNISHMENT TO THEM.

NO CONTACT, DO NOT SPEAK TO HIM, OR ALLOW YOUR KIDS TO. I POSTED ANOTHER MESSAGE TO YOU ON ANOTHER THREAD, LOOK FOR IT. No sense writing it all over here. YOU CAN DO IT. If you do not go NO CONTACT you might as well let him come home tonight and start all over, that is teh bottom line, Muldoon. This may be a game to him, but it is YOUR LIFE AND YOUR KIDS LIVES—decide now how to live it—with him in it or at PEACE AND SAFETY, you cannot have BOTH, that’s just not the way it works.

This is not a constest—or if it IS a contest of who does who the worst, then you have ALREADY LOST. None of us can “win” with these people because they are EVIL. ESCAPE from them is the only way to “win” for you. It is YOUR choice and as long as you give in to your desire to “best” him or “get even” with him you will ultimately keep the chaos going for a while and then he will suck you back in. Which is it?

I know I am being VERY blunt here, Muldoon, but it is BECAUSE I CARE about your SAFETY. We have all here been through this sort of thing in dealing with them, and also most of us ahve wanted justice, revenge, to “win” but we found out the HARD WAY that you cannot win with them.

THIS IS NOT YOUR FIRST “RODEO”—think about what happened last time. DON’T REPEAT those ways of thinking. GET AWAY and STAY AWAY!!!! ((((hugs))))) I know you can do it!!! Oxy

muldoon.

Erin and Oxdrover..yes you are right, I was not going to engage his as such just say listen see a solicitor if you have something to say. Now I ill take your advicce and hang up as soon as I know it is him.
Like the riodeo analogy there Oxy and yes I have rode that particular ride beofre to no avail.
I just pray I dont have a repeat performance of Thursday night with the calls all nigth and the door kicking in.x

Ox Drover

Dear muldoon,

Sweetie, turn the ringer off, keep your cell phone charged and by your side AT ALL TIMES….Barricaide the doors and windows so if he gets in it will make noise. Barricaide your bedroom door so he can’t get it open (put a chair under the knob) and keep the baby with you so he can’t get to her either.

If you have a car, park it somewhere else so he can’t finid it to ruin it. I think I remember he trashed your car last time—might have been someone else.

Get together a SUITCASE of a couple of changes of clothes for YOU and EACH OF YOUR KIDS, with a tooth brush, etc in each one so you can GRAB AND GO if you must in a hurry.

Get all your IMPORTANT PAPERS AND IDENITY ETC and MONEY as well.

Also, a can of insect spray or better yet OVEN CLEANER to spray in his face if he gets into the room with you is a good idea too. KEEP ONE HANDY AT ALL TIMES AND EVEN WHEN YOU ARE DRIVING IN YOUR CAR.

Think SAFETY—think protection—don’t be terrified, but be CAUTIOUS. And remember you are NOT alone, your people here at LF are behind you 100%—come here as often as you need to. I’m going off line til late tonight but will check in before I go to bed.

JUST THINK ABOUT HOW FRUSTRATED AND PITHED OFF HE WILL BE WHEN HE CANNOT REACH YOU BY PHONE AND IT JUST KEEPS RINGING AND RINGING AND RINGING AND RINGING—hee hee, that is the WORST PUNISHMENT HE COULD HAVE—NOT BEING IN CONTROL. YOU are in control now!!! The best kind of control! REMEMBER THAT any time you think you want to tell him to F-off. Love and hugs, Oxy

muldoon.

My car and friends, I have aways hidden it ever since when he goes on one, a mence having to walk half a mile to the bloody thing but better than not havng a car at all. And have already arranged a signal for people to do to let me know it is them on the phone.Funny you say about the aerosol hve been taking hairspray to bed.
Wont not answering encourage hin to start creeping around my backyard or even anger him in to kicking the door in?

blueskies

Muldoon, if he creeps about your house or tries to kick down the door you can have him arrested in a flash. Let the police know what’s going on so they know to react quickly if you call. They are pretty clued up about domestic violence these days, really, the british police are pretty quick off the mark with this stuff and can be so helpful if you work with them. They have evidence enough already with your injuries, to pick him up if he comes anywhere near the house.

Oxy’s idea of having a suitcase packed and ready is a good one, but it pithes me off that you are feeling so unsafe (and are ) in your own home. You HAVE the law on your side. I KNOW from experience that there are mechanisms in place in GB to protect victims of violent abuse. You need to use them.

I havent told the guys here yet because I am still not able to process it properly, but recently, my daughter smashed up my house punched holes in the walls and tried to punch them in me, even though she is a ‘youth’ they were totally supportive, removed her, charged her with domestic abuse(she got the shock of her life when she realised that that is what you ACTUALLY call that behaviour) After that event, they have been in contact with both me and her and made it CLEAR that it is not acceptable and that ANY further attempt to come here in an aggressive mannor will mean instant arrest.

You have the power under british law to get rid of this man from your life. USE IT.
xx

muldoon.

Yes the police have had a marker on the house since Thursday, so if a call comes for help from this address they respond fast, well depending on what they are doimng at the time of the call, I only live three minute walk away from the station, however there is a crossroads of lanes, 4 that lead to my backyard, plus a bit of garden hopping gives you two more lanes that can be used to get away,the police ere here in about four minutes the other night but they could not catch him, he is very fast, and used to run long distance so has endurance.

blueskies

I would say dont use sprays(sorry Oxy xx) but on this Island you could be prosecuted (even if it is in self defense) and he could end up having YOU banged up for assault. This is not the states, self defense with a weapon is not legal here. You dont need to let it get that far.xxx If you get yourself somewhere safe, take steps towards an injunction, which you have every chance of getting considering whats already happend, that can of hairspray will never be needed. Come on love, turn up for yourself and use all the bought and paid for by tax payers facilities and functions at your disposal:)xxx Stay strong cariad.xx

muldoon.

Just had two answer phone messages,,both saying I kno you are purposely stopping me ringing, can you please let mne ring to arrange seeing the baby, the second said if you dont answer I will come there if you do there is no need..So I did answer and whenhe said he wants to see the kids, I said see a solicitor I have nothing to say and hung up, then had third message where he said there was no need for this, you blew it out of proportion, we were fine on Tuesday, this kicked off Thursday because I was quiet, you done this because you have your ex lined up, tell you what I aint going to a solicitor I dont wnat to see the kids.
So bloody fickle.

newlife08

I’m sorry – but I don’t care for this article at all. I know a sense of humor is valuable, but seems to me – making jokes of who and what they are just isn’t funny.

I don’t see the humor in him cheating, lying, taking money, hurting our children, STD’s that are forever, humiliating me, being uncomfortable in my own home for years –

I see no sense in this post.

I WOULD LIKE TO SEE A POSTING ON STEVE BECKER’S LATEST INTERVIEW ON THE MARTHA TROWBRIDGE RADIO SHOW -CRAZY MAKING HUSBANDS.

HIS FIRST WAS POSTED HERE BUT NOT THIS LAST ONE

PITY – BECAUSE IT IS A WONDERFUL INFORMATIVE SHOW

TIME BETTER SPENT LISTENING TO IT THAN TRYING TO MAKE JOKES ABOUT WHAT WE HAVE ALL DEALT WITH…..

JMO

muldoon.

He sounded totally deflated and without malice,,feel a bit guilty cos as it goes he was not untill I told him to go doing half what he normally does and not for haf as long. I did preempt it but because I knew it could go either way, it could indeed be a flash in the pan or it could be the big one..I was tired of talking and had read justabouthealings link about women who keep talking…Anyway, phone back on silent. He made no threats and actaully thinks he is hard done by..suppose thats cos he is so used to ringing to see the ids and ending up back home afetr some half arsed insincere apology.

muldoon.

newlife08 you gota laugh or you will cry,not that we dont cry, but if you can break it with the odd laugh, its not such a bad idea.

blueskies

Newlife:) I understand what you mean about this not being funny as an issue and I dont think anyone would disagree.xx I think it helps some of us to have a bit of light relief… to be able to laugh at these creatures, to see them as the pathetic jokes of human beings that they are sometimes helps to balance the scales… makes them less important and therefore empowers us…?xxx

muldoon.

The phone is going hardcore and every message left because I dont amnswer is him minimizing what took place and justifying himself but still into taking any blame. He is saying he is happy to not be with me and onlyw ants to see the children.

blueskies

Call BT(or your phone provider) and get his numbers blocked.xx You dont have to even deal with this nonsense. Block him.x get yourself some peace to think.

muldoon.

Another mesage, he is crying, saying he is devestated, I feel a heel..trying to pull different files…but guilt is playing fuck with me.

muldoon.

I feel fucking sick, its not in me to not be empathic but the other side of me is saying where was his empathy? where was his remorse when it suited him? He knows im a bloody soft touch, this is gunna be the hardest part, I prefer the threats and abuse, makes me feel justified.

muldoon.

He has said you are spiting a five year old, the others amy not wnat to see me but she do, she loves me and I love her.argghhh

muldoon.

Blueskies he is doinmg from phone boxes

muldoon.

Im starting to felm sorry someone kick me, Im not joking, this is when one of them analogies would do that make you think yeah, true.

Tilly

Muldoon:
Go back to my previous messages to you. I have lived through what you are going through. I was lucky, in that i am alive today. My kids are teribly scarred from this experience (that went for most of their lives). You need to do what I told you or your dead meat. And your kids lives will be ruined forever.
Tough love?
yes, but I wish someone had told me when I was you. My excuses (i.e. my real feelings for staying), were the exact same as yours.
I escaped when he tried to kill me. I Only just escaped .
I promise you on my life, that this is the direction you are heading in.

Tilly

I can’t believe you havn’t lined up your safety route/home/place. You know very well what is coming next. First his role playing then the double whamy violence.

Tilly

What part of “at least do it for your kids” don’t you get?

Tilly

My ex murderous husband is a fitness freak 9marathon and weights) too. Aint life grand.

Matt

muldoon:

Kathy Hawke once said something to the effect of turn off the words and watch their actions against a blue screen (like they use in movies and then superimpose the actions against a bacdrop). If you turn off all his manipulative words, what do you see? I would be highly surprised if all you see is someone who has been incredibly abusive, deceptive and manipulative.

Stop checking the emails, stop checking the phone messages, just stop. If somebody who truly matters wants you, they’ll know how to get through to you. As a friend once told me “If somebody died, there’s nothing you can do about it at 2 in the morning anyhow, so there’s no point in answering the phone.” Same rule applies here. You’ve got the kids with you, so there’s no need to discuss anything with him. You know how to dial 911 or whatever your local emergency line is. No need to talk to him. If you can, any way you can vanish to a friend’s house for the night? If you can’t just turn off everthing. If he does something as low-down as send a police officer knocking at your door “because he’s concerned”, just show the police the number of IMs, phone calls, etc and tell them he has been harrassing you which is why you are not responding. Personally, when they ask you if you want to press charges against him, I”d say “Hell Yes!” and do so.

Tilly

Thats why they don’t need a solicitor, they are their own law…remember???????

Tilly

You need to be already gone…YOU KNOW this better than anyone else. You KNOW what will happen next. WHY ARE YOU STILL WASTING TIME? HE IS NOT DIFFERENT!! IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!! Get out or die.

Matt

muldoon:

Speaking as somebody who grew up in an extremely abusive, violent household, every time I hear one of my parents say “I stayed for the sake of you kids” I want to vomit. My siblings and I all have had incredibly hard times emotionally most of our lives because of what we witnessed growing up. I think I can safely say your 5 year old will thank you later if you don’t subject her to S’s attentions now.

Tilly

MULDOON!!
Please let me add, that if you do take him back over and over again after the beatings and when he tries to kill you repeatedly (when he loses his temper). Remember :
WE WILL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU NO MATTER WHAT MULDOON!! BECAUSE WE DID THE SAME!! KEEP COMING BACK HERE MULDOON- IF YOU GO BACK TO HIM WE STILL LOVE YOU AND UNDERSTAND!!!
WE WILL NEVER EVER SHAME YOU FOR GOING BACK BECAUSE WE HAVE ALL DONE IT (except for ErinB I think who is the only one I know who got revenge…yes I’m jealous),( but we will always try to jog your memory) and so, if you let the snake bite you again and you are lying dying alone on the ground or if the funnell web spider envelops you in his web and you can’t move, KEEP COMING BACK HERE AND WE WILL HELP YOU TO SURVIVE UNTIL YOU CAN GO NC!! WE WERE YOU ONCE YOU MULDOON!!
TRY TO MOVE TO ANOTHER PLACE FOR AWHILE…..BECAUSE HE WON”T GIVE UP TRYING TO GET YOU BACK (in more ways than one)- xoxo((MULDOON))xoxo

Tilly

Matt:
I know You are getting revenge slowly (but it hasn’t happened yet to perfection. lol!) xo

Tilly

Oxy:
“You, poor and obscure, and small and plain as you are”“I entreat you to accept me as a husband.”
My ex P used to say to everyone, “I pulled her out of the gutter and resurrected her back to life” (I had JUST graduated from the National Institute of Dramatic Art when I met him!!).

Tilly

My parents stayed together (are still together) after my p father broke my p mothers neck when I was 5. She is a paraplegic. They STAYED TOGETHER!!
I am a walking living breathing example of how F##KD UP that makes a child!!

Tilly

Warning:
Do not put me within cooee of a person in a wheelchair.

Tilly

DEEP DOWN The sociopath is PROUD that they don’t CARE about ANYONE OR ANYTHING but themselves!! They are PROUD that they can weave their funnel web around you so you CAN”T escape (in whatever way necessary). They are proud that they can leave at anytime and come back at any time, and REALLY not care. THEY SEE US AS WEAK BECAUSE WE HAVE FEELINGS>they see themselves at a decided ADVANTAGE because they just DON”T HAVE ANY EMPATHY>all that matters is their physical needs, their winning and their narcissistic supply. APART FROM THAT THEY ARE JUST ACTORS>and I have been with some that have may many OSCARS.

ErinBrock

TILLY/Muldoon:
I need to remind you that I did it for 28 years……I went back a million times…..each with the SAME results….Each time, it was like….I would go through the motions…..be devastated, cry, shut down, etc….and WAIT for S to contact me….in my younger years I would call, drive by, find excuses to ‘visit’…..ALWAYS to no avail! I lived th agony, he ruled the game. THEN…..ONE DAY…..I, I, I, I CHANGED THE RULES!!!!!
I had enough.
I wouldn’t suggest to anyone to stay as long as I did…..EVER….I wish I would have left before I MARRIED THE FUCKER! But, since I didn’t I took the route I did……If I had of seen the signs…..that BTW were in NEON, in the first year of dating……I wouldn’t be here at this point now……
But I am, you are and we all are……
We just have to see we do have choices……
Muldoon…I got pulled back in by all the crap your S is doing currently…..the ‘Love’, the “threats’, the “kids’ ……ALL of it!
It’s a game…..they feel they are loosing and they want to be in control and keep you as their puppet…..He’s not ready to let YOU go…..
DO NOT BUY INTO IT! DO NOT, DO NOT, DO NOT!!!!!!!!
YOU write the rules now…..IT”S YOUR LIFE!!!!
The best thing is NC……They HATE that…..that is like shoving a big fat Far YOU up their ars!
I may not feel like it at the time….But when you see the end, you will be so glad you did.
YOUR KIDS ARE NOT PAWNS, follow the law, you owe him NO advice, NO words, NO NOTHING…..
Pack the valuables/ documents/retitle your car, other assets, cash, jewlery, anything you might be able to selll.
I suggest you stay in the home….if you own it…..he can find a place…..
BUT, install motion lights asap on all outdoor lighting fixtures.
Get him off your credit cards, so he can’t run up bills and get the court involved for house/child payments etc….
THIS Stuff will keep you busy…..keep you motivated….
AND STOP LISTENING TO HIS PHONE MESSAGES……..Quit being intriqued by him.
Save them, document times/dates etc….you will need this in court.
If he shows up ……call the police, get a security camera in the garden/front and back of home……they are cheap these days……just hook them up to your tv. buy cheap alarms that are wireless that will sound if someone passes….they are $10.00.
DO this sort of stuff for peace of mind in your home.
BUT plan on moving on without him…..
TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!!!!
Take good care!
XXOO

Ox Drover

Dear Muldoon,

Remember before when you let him come back? You wanted support cause you thought you were ill—-?

How much support or care did he give you because you were worried about your health? I can answer that—NONE!

Go look in the MIRROR and see the BRUISES he left on you.

Remeber while fighting you FELL ON the BABY! How do you think she is going to know what a NORMAL home is with that kind of thing?

You are NOT a “soft touch”—lettintg him get to your and make you feel sorry for him is a CHOICE, muldoon, you have in the PAST MADE THAT CHOICE. YOU ARE NOT HELPLESS AND HE CANNOT MAKE YOU “FEEL” ANY THING. YOU and obnly YOU have the CHOICE. And your choice is to choose to do what is RIGHT for yourself AND YIOUR KIDS or to go back to doing what you have been doing. MAKING WRONG CHOICES…for them and yourself.

Muldoon, dear, we cannot make the choices, ONLY YOU can make the choices that will make your kids lives less chaos, and yours less chaos. YOU can do it. YOU CAN! But you must do what is RIGHT for yourself and your kids.

There is NO way you can look me or yourself “in the eye” and say HE IS RIGHT FOR ME AND MY KIDS….or MY DAUGHTER WILL BE BETTER OFF WITH HIM IN HER LIFE.

YYOU CANNOT DO IT BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT IS NOT TRUE.

Right decisions are some times difficult but that is what ADULTS DO—you are an adult, he is a mean, spoiled, nasty two year old emotionally and he will kick and scream and punch and bite til he gets his way. THAT AIN’T LOVE, BABY!!!

Stay on line if you must, but don’t listen to the messages, but save them in case you need them for later. DON’T LISTEN. ((((HUGS)))) AND MUCH PRAYER.

hens

It’s saturday nite – scotch and soda – mud in your eye~!

hens

He didnt love me, its that plain and simple…so I will lick my wounds and go on. And what was I in love with? – a mirror , now that is pathetic, surely I can do better than that. I can be me much better away from him, than with him manipulating my reality – so that He becomes my reality. I let him do that ya know – gosh it has taken me so long to deal with this simple truth, too accept the truth, why do I still wish it could of been like the mirror? Guess if we don’t clean our mirrors they get foggy and dirty and we can’t see what we have become,

Tilly

I just remembered an event that was the death warrant on my relationship with my younger son’s father who was also a sociopath.
We were fighting at midnight about him spending all MY money on pot. My two young children were asleep. The baby had woken for a breast feed, and I was carrying him around with me as the sociopath pot head raged around the room. The fight escalated. My psychopath ripped the hungry baby out of my arms (whilst holding a smoke), we fought over the baby. The psychopath started hitting me around the head with a bar. I threw a video tape at the psychopath to ward him off. And guess what the psychopath did? ( I knew you would guess Oxy!)
Yes, he held the baby up as a shield to protect himself and the baby was hit in the HEAD by the video tape. A huge bleeding lump came up immediately and he refused to give me my baby.
I moved out forever the next day.
ERINB:
I did my 30 years of psychopaths by installation. The first one was 14 years (the worst one of all until the solicitor), and then after that every single partner i had was a cluster B.

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