Editor’s Note: Laughs in the e-mail today sent by a Lovefraud reader. Enjoy!
Narcissist sayings about themselves:
“A lie is as good as the truth if you can get someone to believe it.'”
“I’m really easy to get along with once you learn to worship me.”
About Narcissists:
“He was the only man I ever knew that could strut while sitting down.”
“Every narcissist woman wants a man she can look down on.”
“There’s nothing wrong with narcissists that reasoning with them won’t aggravate.”
“She was truly a legend in her own mind”
Things it is better NOT to say to a Narcissist:
“I’d love to stay and listen to you talk about yourself, but I gotta run.”
“Before you begin, may I adjust your crown?”
“They told me you weren’t foolish enough to lie all the time. I stuck up for you and said you were.”
“I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.”
“You were sent here as a warning to normal people, weren’t you?”
“Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.”
“Does this mean you’re about to rage? Would you mind doing something useful while you are at it, like getting me a beer and a sandwich?”
“You can’t be serious? Oh! Is this going to be on Candid Camera? Where’s the hidden camera? (begin looking)”
“300,000,000 sperm and YOU were the best they could find for the job?”
Other Narcissist riddles and sayings:
“A narcissist is someone who after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.”
“How does a female narcissist sleep? First she lies on one side, then she lies on the other.”
What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a Narcissist? An offer you can’t refuse, but you can’t rely on either.”
“Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of narcissists? He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren’t met.”
“What do a narcissist and sperm have in common? Both have about a 1 in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.”
“Narcissists are one of the main sources of income for therapists. Not that they ever come for therapy themselves because they know they don’t need to. But just one narcissist can easily drive ten other people into long term therapy.”
Ox Drover
Donna you are TWISTED!!! LOL I LOVE IT!!!!!
ROTFLMAO I bet if we all added to this list we could get a 600 page book together in a matter of days! THANKS FOR THE LAUGH!!!
ErinBrock
Donna:
:“I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.”:
I’m using this one in court on Friday!!!
These are great…..glad we could have some fun with it!!!
Have a great weekend ladies!
XXOO
eb
kim frederick
And how many does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. He stands on a chair, takes a hold of the light bulb, and the whole world revolves around him.
super chic
I will always cherish… this post! LMAO!!
neveragain
Shelley Winters:
We had a lot in common. I loved him and he loved him.
PInow
A narcissist is someone who after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.”
And then you feel guilty that you had not done it yourself after 10 hour work day, cooking and attending to fires that somehow need to be put out every time the P is near.
Tilly
This is my style!!! I LOVE THIS! and this one is my favourite because it is so true, “…..just one narcissist can easily drive ten other people into long term therapy.”
Brilhancy
Brilhant…..Love it
My favourite:
“What do a narcissist and sperm have in common? Both have about a 1 in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.”
Ox Drover
Our problem was we had different religions. He thought HE WAS GOD, and I didn’t. (not original but don’t know who said it CRS)
An N’s marriage proposal:
“You, poor and obscure, and small and plain as you are–I entreat you to accept me as a husband.” (Mr. Rochester proposing in “Jane Eyre”) Charlotte Bronte.
A description of marriage to an N:
“… there is a selfish and an unselfish partner. A pattern is set up and soon becomes inflexible, one person always making the demands and one person always giving way.” Iris Murdoch
muldoon.
LOL..I identify with nearly all of them…Now rod tyill 3pm today, left a message to say will ring at the time I am usualy home, between 6.30 and 7 Undecided as of yet wether to abuse him or totally ignore him.