Editor’s Note: Laughs in the e-mail today sent by a Lovefraud reader. Enjoy!
Narcissist sayings about themselves:
“A lie is as good as the truth if you can get someone to believe it.'”
“I’m really easy to get along with once you learn to worship me.”
About Narcissists:
“He was the only man I ever knew that could strut while sitting down.”
“Every narcissist woman wants a man she can look down on.”
“There’s nothing wrong with narcissists that reasoning with them won’t aggravate.”
“She was truly a legend in her own mind”
Things it is better NOT to say to a Narcissist:
“I’d love to stay and listen to you talk about yourself, but I gotta run.”
“Before you begin, may I adjust your crown?”
“They told me you weren’t foolish enough to lie all the time. I stuck up for you and said you were.”
“I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.”
“You were sent here as a warning to normal people, weren’t you?”
“Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.”
“Does this mean you’re about to rage? Would you mind doing something useful while you are at it, like getting me a beer and a sandwich?”
“You can’t be serious? Oh! Is this going to be on Candid Camera? Where’s the hidden camera? (begin looking)”
“300,000,000 sperm and YOU were the best they could find for the job?”
Other Narcissist riddles and sayings:
“A narcissist is someone who after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.”
“How does a female narcissist sleep? First she lies on one side, then she lies on the other.”
What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a Narcissist? An offer you can’t refuse, but you can’t rely on either.”
“Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of narcissists? He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren’t met.”
“What do a narcissist and sperm have in common? Both have about a 1 in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.”
“Narcissists are one of the main sources of income for therapists. Not that they ever come for therapy themselves because they know they don’t need to. But just one narcissist can easily drive ten other people into long term therapy.”
Learn – That was a great post to Muldoon. Thank you for all the encouragement and wisdom and inspiration.
I’m glad you guys are here because I’m having thoughts of talking to him and asking him what went wrong. I started to think that perhaps I wasn’t there enough for him in the beginning. I began to think like the poster named “Biddy”.
I just need to keep reading your posts when I feel weak. God it is so hard to accept that I was just prey – nothing but prey.
skylar – If you talk to him he will continue to make you feel as if it was all your fault. Talking to him is futile. You have seen the light , please keep it insight and work with yourself, find out about yourself and why and how this happened This is a Life Lesson don’t fail it – it takes time – lot’s of time but you will get there – promise.
skylar: not long ago i was exactly where you are. thinking i could make it right by talking with him. now — one year NC — i am certain that any chance, any conversation, any encounter at all, gives them nothing more than the opportunity to manipulate one more time, to make us feel the blame, to get under our skin. or, even if they’re incredibly nice, should we really think that means they care … or that we were heard? nope, then they’re just biding their time to go in for the kill.
seriously, they are the hopeless ones.
give him, not one more second, skylar … not one more chance.
wow, my brain is really weird. I thought I had gotten over these thoughts a few weeks ago. But they have a life of their own.
I swear I’m turning into Biddy. I keep thinking… “what if there IS way to get him to think differently…”
It isn’t the logical part of my brain doing this. I think it’s my own narcissism trying to trip me up. I keep going over fantasy scenarios where I convince him to open up to me. This is ridiculous of course, because he had 25 years with me and never opened his mouth without lying. But there’s that little voice…
Thanks for the responses henry and lostingrief. I’m almost as shocked by my thoughts as I was to find out that the love of my life was a P.
It seems to have happened quite suddenly today. Or actually, just now. It’s like having an N living inside me that blindsided me out of nowhere. Perhaps it was building for a while and I let myself indulge the thoughts so that they are now front and center. I’m not sure.
The problem is lack of emotional control. I don’t know how to get balanced. I wonder if I will end up convincing my rational side to do something stupid. you know, rationalize my stupid behavior. I keep telling myself that it might be interesting to see the look on his face when I tell him that he is not possessed. (He actually believes he is possessed by the devil and attributes all his evil behavior to this. I surmised this by his inordinate interest in exorcism and demonic possession) When I explain to him that what he percieves as evil is just a case of emotional arrested development and that he has the emotions of a 1 year old while the rest of us got to continue developing, he will feel belittled. Then I would tell him that he percieves it as evil because it is as primordial as a reptile, it is what we all were when we were fetuses and infants: he is a parasite. I have a good enough understanding of the narcissist that I could easily convince him. I am really curious as to how he would react. I would absolutely have to have a hidden camera recording his face.
Talk me out of it.
When I read you were with this guy 25 years and you say everything that came out his mouth was a lie, I have to wonder why you want to continue the struggle. But like you I was blindsided by the feeling of loss after it was finally over. I was not prepared for it, didnt know where it was coming from and like a drug I just wanted one more fix, one more chance. But now at 18 months out of it I can see the damage he deliberatly did to me. It was part of his game, he enjoyed seeing me suffer. I had to keep him away from me because he had a power over me that I could not understand. I cant even begin to offer advice to someone that was with a predator for 25 years. But I do recommend one book – Meaning from Madness by Richard Skerritt – it’s cheap order it online and may you find peace….
Skylar, you wrote, ““what if there IS way to get him to think differently—
My thoughts for FORTY-SIX and A HALF YEARS exactly! Including what can I do differently to make this work? What things can I change about myself that will make this work.
I deeply desired a life-long marriage, not just to honor my vows, which was part of it. Divorce wasn’t even in my vocabulary even after he knocked me unconscious and I fled!!
My dear, it won’t work!!! Save what is left of your life and RUN!
They don’t change — they get worse — especially if you get so tired that you can’t give them supply anymore out of your own exhaustion. You get PUNISHED for not giving them supply!
And for those who are still fighting the loss of the dream — of course, you still love him/her. You wouldn’t have begun the relationship in the beginning if you didn’t. There is something about love that is everlasting.
I still love my EX, no matter how cruel he was to me, and it’s already been 7 years and 7.5 months OUT!
He is in my thoughts at least part of each day still but I assure you that TIME has eliminated any longing – for him or the dream. My major feeling daily is DRRP RELIEF to be free of the abuse!
OOPS “DEEP RELIEF”, not DRRP RELIEF. But, I’m sure everyone is smart enough to figure that out! Hadn’t realized that the R is just to the right of the E before. LOL