Editor’s Note: Laughs in the e-mail today sent by a Lovefraud reader. Enjoy!
Narcissist sayings about themselves:
“A lie is as good as the truth if you can get someone to believe it.'”
“I’m really easy to get along with once you learn to worship me.”
About Narcissists:
“He was the only man I ever knew that could strut while sitting down.”
“Every narcissist woman wants a man she can look down on.”
“There’s nothing wrong with narcissists that reasoning with them won’t aggravate.”
“She was truly a legend in her own mind”
Things it is better NOT to say to a Narcissist:
“I’d love to stay and listen to you talk about yourself, but I gotta run.”
“Before you begin, may I adjust your crown?”
“They told me you weren’t foolish enough to lie all the time. I stuck up for you and said you were.”
“I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.”
“You were sent here as a warning to normal people, weren’t you?”
“Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.”
“Does this mean you’re about to rage? Would you mind doing something useful while you are at it, like getting me a beer and a sandwich?”
“You can’t be serious? Oh! Is this going to be on Candid Camera? Where’s the hidden camera? (begin looking)”
“300,000,000 sperm and YOU were the best they could find for the job?”
Other Narcissist riddles and sayings:
“A narcissist is someone who after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.”
“How does a female narcissist sleep? First she lies on one side, then she lies on the other.”
What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a Narcissist? An offer you can’t refuse, but you can’t rely on either.”
“Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of narcissists? He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren’t met.”
“What do a narcissist and sperm have in common? Both have about a 1 in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.”
“Narcissists are one of the main sources of income for therapists. Not that they ever come for therapy themselves because they know they don’t need to. But just one narcissist can easily drive ten other people into long term therapy.”
I would love to see a henry thread!! A lot of what you write, henry, make me feel like you’re reading my mind!!!
Shabby I was just being flippant and humorus about the henry thread. And Skylar thanks for your input. I have known this guy close to twenty years and I never got involved emotionally with him, well maybe a little bit once upon a time but that was long ago. He is entertaining and the company used to be ok – but now – after my experience with ‘The’ X cluster B I dont want to start anything up with him. So many of his traits are now so obvious and remind me of The X. Shabby my gut tell’s me “dont go there” so I am going to not be available next time he calls or shows up.. In the past I used to think I never have to worry about someone loving me for my money, cause I dont have any…but now I know if all you have is a pot too piss in there are user’s out there that will jump into that pot and do the back stroke and whistle dixie, if their options are running out.
Henry says
“OK I know he is an S – figured that out long before I knew what they were””
My question too you all is – maybe this can be just a platonic frienship?
Answer: Ok I know he is an S.
In the past when he is single he has bought me gifts that I did not want. And now he is Like “Oh I am so glad to see you and I missed you etc.” but I dont know if maybe I am paranoid about everybody or could this just be a true dude that occasionally needs a friend and someone to talk to and vent etc”?
Answer: Ok I know he is an S. (Could he be a true dude?)
I know enuff about the current guy he is with to know that he provided my hunky landscaper friend with a much better “friendship” money wise, than my friendship has ever been able or willing to provide”should I lose his new cell number or be a friend?
Answer: Ok I know he is an S. (And you can keep his new cell phone number to see how long it takes before he changes it again!!!)
Henry – did you party too much on your Birthday???? Lets review the warning signs/red flags…. CHEMISTRY… SHOWING UP UNANNOUNCED…CHANGING CELL PHONE NUMBERS.. DOUBTING YOURSELF. etc…
Platonic friendships are just as damaging with an S as romantic relationships…we are trying to cultivate your garden with healthy seeds…not seedy dudes… :))
Oh just read your last post to Shabby! Whew…the temporary fog has lifted… you are BACK ON TRACK!!!!!! 🙂
Henry, my guess is your friend is coming to the end of his free ride and is trying to set you up in the position of his next.
I really loved your pot to piss in analogy, and I can tell you it is soooo true. In the end he took that, too. Stole it while my back was turned, just to prove he could. Have a great day!
henry:
You may not have the financial resources of his most recent victim, but you’ve still got resources which this parasite will find a way to get his hands on given half a chance. I have an acquaintance (I won’t call him a friend) who is cut from the same cloth as this guy. Things with him will progress as follows: “Let’s go out for a drink.” You will end up buying. “Let’s grab a bite to eact.” You will end up paying. Then will come the day he needs to borrow some money to make this months rent. You will… well, hopefully you will have the picture by now.
The fact you haven’t heard from him in a year only means that you’ve been “garaged” for that period. My S used to do that — he’d keep some of his exes on the back burner so he could use them when he had burned out with his current group.
HENRY!!!!
BOINK!!!! BOINK!!! Gosh, Henry, I can’t believe you! “can we have a platonic FRIENDSHIP? How on earth do you even question such a thing as a “friendship’with a psychopath???
“hunk of a man” “chemistry”—yep, but you know what he is! You know that they ALWAYS BITE THE HAND THAT IS EXTENDED TO THEM.
ALWAYS
ALWAYS!!!!\
ALWAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They are INCAPABLE of any kind of reciprosity. INCAPABLE!!!
You are falling into MAGICAL AND WISHFUL THINKING!!!
Henry, you know me well enough to know I am a STRAIGHT SHOOTER, and I haven’t always been, I too have fallen into the MAGIC THINKING when I was lonely or needy. AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT ME!!!!
You know I care about you buddy, but you know, it has been a long time since I BOINKED you on the head, or you needed a BOINK!!! But man you need one NOW!!! ((((hugs))))) Get that SNAKE out of your life!! Matt is right, he is setting you up cause he does’t have anyone else. STAY STRONG HENRY!!! Oxy
Dear Henry, I heard its your birthday! Let’s all have a morning latte together on me, in celebration and talk about this maybe “sketchy” dude thats after ya- Oh, remember to Celebrate your birthday this entire month and then some! Take the whole month-too much pressure to have a good birthday on JUST that one day!
About the guy friend you mentioned- for what my two cents is worth , can I say this- I would LOVE to see you with a really good companion, friend, and more.. God only knows that you deserve it. but I am afraid this guy may be dangerous to your heart.
(Surgeon general warns, smoking hot men CAN be bad for your health! ) lol
Keep your boundaries close, and your “dont’ give a damn” attitude even closer.
Remember your worth.(it is great- Henry you can’t buy what you have- a beautiful heart, soul, and humor-awesome gift of laughter/ u are a funny, funny man!!! AND With age, you just get more refined.
If he is only running back to you in between relationships, know that you are better than that! YOU are the GRAND PRIZE- not the consolation prize or runner up. YOU are the “trip” to Porta no-Viagra- You are the Real DEAL. lol
If he gets you, he is the winner cuz YOU are the star of this show! AND I am not just blowin smoke up your ^$$, but we dont know WHAT this guy has plans to do with it!
If you decide to see him, let him be penciled in when your busy schedule permits (be busy!) and that schedule may only allow coffee on the backside of nowhere next spring.
Besides, theres more of him where he came from- he aint special- Afterall- Didn’t the birthday boy say hells bells if Oxy can get a date…
LOL Right, If they found her out in the sticks, between milking cows and riding jackasses- they can sure find YOU. By the way, oxy ‘milk” it for all its worth! We are all awaiting the saga and have heard the rumors- tell us more!!! lol
Henry, I hope you know most of this has all been in jest, ecsept the part of knowing your worth. As I said a time or two before, you were one of the first guys here that I read your posts when I found this site- Oxy, you, and Matt (many others too) gave me a lifeline when I was drowning- and you still do.
When you ask- Wheres the love??? know its always gonna be here. xoxo
knock knock.
Who’s there?
Narcissist.
Narrcissist who?
I can be whoever you want me to be.
knock knock.
Who’s there?
Narcissist.
Narissist who?
I just told you, you stupid bitch, how many clues do you need?
knock knock.
Who’s there?
Narissist.
Narissist who?
Narissist You, you damn bitch, you’re crazy.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Shut up and open the door, bitch before I knock it down.
Knock knock.
knock knock.
Knock knock.
knock
Wow, Henry- I didnt see ALL the others posts until now- You have created quite a ruckus! Don’t think we’re gonna “eva” let you slip up! bahahaha
Henry,
“I have this friend, off and on-depending on his current relationship status. The only time I hear from him is when he is fighting or being kicked out of his current relationship…..Well he showed up tonight unannounced after one year of silence…”
So, let me get this straight. He shows up after a year of silence…at your door??? Did not even call first???
Henry, do you not see how insulting that is??? This act alone SCREAMS total disregard for you and your time. You are like a “cold piece of pizza in the morning” to this guy. He expects you to be there waiting, if/when he decides he wants to “take a bite”.
This is not a “friend”. At best, this person is a user and an opportunist. At worst, he is a sociopath or narcissist.
You said it to ShabbyChic, your gut is telling you “don’t go there.” LISTEN TO YOUR GUT. It is God’s voice warning you of danger. (Ironically, that was the sermon in my Church last Sunday…Listen to your Gut, because it is God’s voice!!)
This is not a good way to start off your 55th Birthday. By the way, it is probably NOT a coincidence that this guy shows up on/near your birthday, either. Their timing is almost as amazing as their “gift of gab”. Personally, I think it is a tactic to create the illusion of a “connection”.
P.S. There was a time when I also liked “good conversationalists”. However, these days, “slick talkers” and good “chit chatters” make my skin crawl.