Editor’s Note: Laughs in the e-mail today sent by a Lovefraud reader. Enjoy!
Narcissist sayings about themselves:
“A lie is as good as the truth if you can get someone to believe it.'”
“I’m really easy to get along with once you learn to worship me.”
About Narcissists:
“He was the only man I ever knew that could strut while sitting down.”
“Every narcissist woman wants a man she can look down on.”
“There’s nothing wrong with narcissists that reasoning with them won’t aggravate.”
“She was truly a legend in her own mind”
Things it is better NOT to say to a Narcissist:
“I’d love to stay and listen to you talk about yourself, but I gotta run.”
“Before you begin, may I adjust your crown?”
“They told me you weren’t foolish enough to lie all the time. I stuck up for you and said you were.”
“I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.”
“You were sent here as a warning to normal people, weren’t you?”
“Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.”
“Does this mean you’re about to rage? Would you mind doing something useful while you are at it, like getting me a beer and a sandwich?”
“You can’t be serious? Oh! Is this going to be on Candid Camera? Where’s the hidden camera? (begin looking)”
“300,000,000 sperm and YOU were the best they could find for the job?”
Other Narcissist riddles and sayings:
“A narcissist is someone who after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.”
“How does a female narcissist sleep? First she lies on one side, then she lies on the other.”
What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a Narcissist? An offer you can’t refuse, but you can’t rely on either.”
“Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of narcissists? He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren’t met.”
“What do a narcissist and sperm have in common? Both have about a 1 in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.”
“Narcissists are one of the main sources of income for therapists. Not that they ever come for therapy themselves because they know they don’t need to. But just one narcissist can easily drive ten other people into long term therapy.”
kim frederick
I hope my knock knock joke doesn’t offend anyone. It is merely an attempt to poke fun, not only at the P/S/N’s in our lives, but also, just a little at ourselves. Maybe I should just say at myself. This is preatty much how my last relationship played out. Thanks everybody for being here.
sabrina
Kim- I luved ur joke! all the jokes on this thread had me ROTFLMAO. keep em coming guys!!!
blueskies
KIM! That joke had me rolling on the floor!xxx brilliant:)
skylar
LOL Kim, I laughed at your joke.
Henry, do me a favor: laugh at this guy next time he comes around. Just crack jokes. use some from this thread. Don’t be rude or defensive, just act drunk. Do this as an experiment and then report to us.
Off topic: I’m starting to get the feeling that we really do have big red “SUPPLY” signs written on our foreheads. Just from reading this blog and some others out there I can see that most of us N Supplies are extremely empathetic, with fuzzy boundaries. I’m not sure that running, hiding or putting up defensive walls is the answer. There has to be a way to re-integrate into society with a new skin, one that doesn’t make us targets.
I remember in grade school, there were certain kids that looked especially vulnerable. They appeared to me to perhaps be picked on at home if not at school. Perhaps I appeared this way to them too (I had N parents). All the same, I also think we are also particularly intelligent, so there must be a way to hide that vulnerability. What is it? Is it something in our eyes? Is it our posture? What do we do? I hate to think I’m walking around looking like a piece of meat for the wolves.
sabrina
hey, we should all remember that at this moment in our life-If we choose to be without a partner/relationship- first of all, that dosent mean by any means that we are alone. Secondly, Every single one of us could have someone lined up at the door if we so chose to. If you dont think so- check out dating sites -that there are herds of ’em aimlessly wandering, trawling out there.
JUST the quality of that “someone” IS NOT what we are willing to sacrifice- anymore. I , for one am no longer “ok”- (which was a passive way of accepting “less than” in my life) with the common guy. Instead of the old movie adage “Show ME the money- I say Show me the reason “to” date you, to spend an ounce of my finite time with you. I have alot of good to give, and wont accept ” less than” in return.
If you make a mental list of “must haves” in terms of a potential relationship- example mine is: emotionally and financially sound, believer/lover of God, not more “baggage” than will fit in the glove compartment of my car, etc then “STICK” to the list!!! THat eliminates many “waste of makeup” dates for me! If “we” dont value ourselves and believe what the Bible says- we are wonderfully made. who will? Wonderfully made dosent mean- I wonder if Im good enuf, pretty enuf, smart enuf-We are because God says we are! have a good day, all.
skylar
The mispelling is part of the joke!
They aren’t better than everyone else, they are just narcissists. And btw, my narcissist can’t spell or have a sense of humor. so this is a perfect tee-shirt for him, should I get it for him? I think he would wear it. Then I would have to follow him around and watch him with binoculers
http://www.zazzle.com/its_not_narcissism_if_you_truely_are_better_tha_tshirt-235446710171712171
sabrina
Skylar – Interesting what you asked about what makes us a target. I think you hit on something- fuzzy boundaries are significant. For me being brought up in a deep, south “mind your manners, children should be seen not heard, LADIES dont talk like that…blah,blah, B.S didnt help. sorry- love my southern roots, but did nothing to build confidence and kahunas to stand up for self!
When you mentioned the back in school comment – what made some kids appear vulnerable? My first thought was the ones who DIDNT appear vulnerable or as push overs WALKED, and talked with confidence. An air of esteem seemed to be present. Standing up straight, walking tall- where the “other” kids (me perhaps) seemed to ‘hang our head, indeciveness, not quite confident in our actions or comfortable in our own skins maybe. Less than”aware” than some of the other kids- like we were focusing on our “own” shortcomings rather than those of others- that could be the key!
sabrina
oh, the lack of selfishness in us is a draw like buzzards to a carcass. The disordered personalities smell it a mile away!
sabrina
– You wanna make an N crazy? Lock him up in a room alone, and in 5 minutes, You will see him removing his socks to make “sock puppets” on his hands. WHY?????
Because he “HAS” to have “SOMEBODY” to LIE to!
Rosa
Hey Sabrina:
Was it you that came up with the Lollipop thing, about not being a sucker anymore??
I nicknamed my ex “Charms”, after the Charms Blow Pop, because he is so full of blow (meaning hot air, not cocaine).
Of course, him being the flaming narcissist he is, will automatically think it means he’s charming.
No worries. He’ll never know his new name, because I never see him anymore. My choice, not his. 🙂