Editor’s Note: Laughs in the e-mail today sent by a Lovefraud reader. Enjoy!
Narcissist sayings about themselves:
“A lie is as good as the truth if you can get someone to believe it.'”
“I’m really easy to get along with once you learn to worship me.”
About Narcissists:
“He was the only man I ever knew that could strut while sitting down.”
“Every narcissist woman wants a man she can look down on.”
“There’s nothing wrong with narcissists that reasoning with them won’t aggravate.”
“She was truly a legend in her own mind”
Things it is better NOT to say to a Narcissist:
“I’d love to stay and listen to you talk about yourself, but I gotta run.”
“Before you begin, may I adjust your crown?”
“They told me you weren’t foolish enough to lie all the time. I stuck up for you and said you were.”
“I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.”
“You were sent here as a warning to normal people, weren’t you?”
“Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.”
“Does this mean you’re about to rage? Would you mind doing something useful while you are at it, like getting me a beer and a sandwich?”
“You can’t be serious? Oh! Is this going to be on Candid Camera? Where’s the hidden camera? (begin looking)”
“300,000,000 sperm and YOU were the best they could find for the job?”
Other Narcissist riddles and sayings:
“A narcissist is someone who after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.”
“How does a female narcissist sleep? First she lies on one side, then she lies on the other.”
What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a Narcissist? An offer you can’t refuse, but you can’t rely on either.”
“Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of narcissists? He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren’t met.”
“What do a narcissist and sperm have in common? Both have about a 1 in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.”
“Narcissists are one of the main sources of income for therapists. Not that they ever come for therapy themselves because they know they don’t need to. But just one narcissist can easily drive ten other people into long term therapy.”
Hi Rosa, Yes someone was talking about what they called their x P. I said ,I call mine lollipop- to remind me I am no longer his sucker. Tilly and I said we could call it the lollipop club.
Also, I envision him looking at me as vulnerable as a little girl dressed in Sunday clothes holding a lollipop. Honneeeey,,,THAT little girl will stay out of the candy store! lol
Rosa- LOL I love “charms” as well. You know the cereal “Lucky Charms”- I dont think he is so lucky now, is he? AND, how many licks does it take to get to the center of his “blow hole”???? haha
Sabrina:
That’s the problem. Once you get through the outer candy shell, there is absolutely nothing in his center, unfortunately for him.
I left that burden for someone else to carry a long time ago.
That’s why I can laugh about it now.
Thanks you all for the imput. I keep thinking about how this ‘friend’ of mine and my “X” were so similar in so many ways – for instance – a few years back the ‘friend’ and I went to the state fair and several times the friend came upon men he knew and would stop to chat with but never introduced me as a friend or anything, just like I was not there..my X would do the same thing – and another similarity is how their personality and mannerisms would change when there was someone else around and then back to something else when it was just the two of us – they both have shady and mysterious back grounds – I hope this is not a warning that the X is also going to show up….
Didnt know where else to say hello everyone, still her, still reading.
Hello Muldoon Happy to see a familiar name – we are always here.. I just remembered a phrase my X use to say when he was ‘searching for something to say’ to explain his behavior – ” I just need to get my ducks in a row” thats what I was – a duck – a sitting duck. I am nobodys duck anymore.
Hello henry…Its all quiet here, mine is in please forgive me phase, never meant, didnt realise blah blah blah!!
My Dearest Henry, As one who mistakenly thought that I could handle a friendship with my ex S, after we had broken off our partnership, I have to advise you…DON’T DO IT…IT’S NOT POSSIBLE WITH A PSYCHOPATH! I thought…what’s the harm…after all, he was the fun type, so occasionally doing things together, keeping in touch…it was a good thing as long as there were no obligations. I knew what he was, so I watched my back…the problem was the chemistry. Before you know it (and trust me HE knows this) the bunson burners will be on high and the beakers bubbling over until they EXPLODE. It doesn’t matter the source of supply you are to him either…you are a source, whether it be money, sex, housing, or simply someone whose emotions he can toy with for fun.
I don’t know if you are familiar with any of my posts, but my S/P at one time drove me to an overdose…do you get the SERIOUSNESS of that??? Not a call for attention attempted suicide…the real deal…I paid my bills, tied up loose ends, left signed blank checks, wrote my letter…I planned it all day, figuring out how many pills I needed to take to make me drowsy enough to fall asleep without vomiting the rest that I needed to kill me. I should be dead Henry…but God woke me up the next morning and I dry heaved for hours when a neighbor finally called sensing something wrong and I then had to get help. After the ER, I spent 4 days in a psychiatric ward …this was THE most horrific experience of my life…I still have HAUNTING memories of how I felt standing at my kitchen counter taking pill after pill after pill…ALL because of a SOCIOPATH that I let into my life. I have tears streaming down my face and I’m begging you AND MULDOON…don’t do it…don’t ever let yourself get in this position….
with much love and understanding
Henry:
“I just need to get my ducks in a row.”
Mine used to say, “Everything will work out, someday.”
Someday……when the hell is SOMEDAY?
I finally figured it out.
SOMEDAY = NEVER (in Con-Artist lingo).
Hummingbird – I know they are capable of causing us great harm. I lost 30 pounds and my health is just now recovering. The stress did a number on me. I am so sorry you went through that. My sister did accomplish suicide and the pain it has caused so many that loved her lives on. I am happy you are still here and have regained your spirit, and are continueing on your path to a peaceful life. But the ‘friend’ I am speaking of is not my X P that did so much damage to me. This guy that I am speaking about trying to be friends with is bad news and I have decided to not take his call’s , because I do know what he is up too. There is no way I could ever be friends with my X . My X is evil and scary and dangerous. This recent ‘friend guy’ is just needy at the moment but I am sure he will survive with out me getting involved…