Editor’s Note: Laughs in the e-mail today sent by a Lovefraud reader. Enjoy!
Narcissist sayings about themselves:
“A lie is as good as the truth if you can get someone to believe it.'”
“I’m really easy to get along with once you learn to worship me.”
About Narcissists:
“He was the only man I ever knew that could strut while sitting down.”
“Every narcissist woman wants a man she can look down on.”
“There’s nothing wrong with narcissists that reasoning with them won’t aggravate.”
“She was truly a legend in her own mind”
Things it is better NOT to say to a Narcissist:
“I’d love to stay and listen to you talk about yourself, but I gotta run.”
“Before you begin, may I adjust your crown?”
“They told me you weren’t foolish enough to lie all the time. I stuck up for you and said you were.”
“I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.”
“You were sent here as a warning to normal people, weren’t you?”
“Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.”
“Does this mean you’re about to rage? Would you mind doing something useful while you are at it, like getting me a beer and a sandwich?”
“You can’t be serious? Oh! Is this going to be on Candid Camera? Where’s the hidden camera? (begin looking)”
“300,000,000 sperm and YOU were the best they could find for the job?”
Other Narcissist riddles and sayings:
“A narcissist is someone who after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.”
“How does a female narcissist sleep? First she lies on one side, then she lies on the other.”
What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a Narcissist? An offer you can’t refuse, but you can’t rely on either.”
“Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of narcissists? He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren’t met.”
“What do a narcissist and sperm have in common? Both have about a 1 in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.”
“Narcissists are one of the main sources of income for therapists. Not that they ever come for therapy themselves because they know they don’t need to. But just one narcissist can easily drive ten other people into long term therapy.”
Hecates Path,
Thankyou for your empathy about the time my baby was hit by the video tape..I always carried such shame around about it. whilst I intellectually know it wasn’t my fault. But the baby was looking at me and the look on my babys face when the video tape hit nearly killed me.
Anyway, thankyou it means a lot to me you.. acknowledging it.Thankyou from my heart.
Oxy :
The book is about Martin Bryant by Robert Wainwright and Paola Totaro. Its called “BORN BORED? ” its just out. His was the worst killing spree by a lone gunman in the whole world. He killed 35 and wounded 21. They don’t cover the topic “psychopaths” as such, but they let every one know he was born “that way”. A MUST READ. buy it for yourself for your BIRTHDAY!!! (((LOOKS LIKE GOD GAVE YOU YOUR DATE FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY!LOL))).
Elizabeth conley:
I SOOOOO love all those sayings you blogged and I have put them in my pencil case to sprout when needed at uni. My fave is No. 3. ” How about never? Is never good for you?” I CAN’T WAIT TO SAY that to a P with a big cheesey smile!!!lol!!!
Henry:
Hope you had the awesome birthday Henry! Sorry i missed it…I wish we could all meet up together for events like that!! You Go BOY!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo((((HENRY))))xoxoxoxo0xooxxoxoxoxoP.S. If ever we meet I will show you how to throw it (my boomerang). There is a knack to it and they are very dangerous if you get the knack. Perfect for beheading Ps’! The further away they are the easier it is to get them with a boomerang. A Nulla Nulla is good for close up.
Everybody:
Thankyou so much for all your advice on this class I am in at uni (and everything else)!! I would definitely have left without ALL of your advice..DEFINITELY!! But I am doing it.. ( I can hardly believe it). Only because you have all helped me so much.
Today, as i was leaving home, i put this shell- necklace -thing around my neck (it was a gift from a P). I had never worn it before although it was two years old. I quickly took it off as I remembered the person who gave it to me, and shoved it in my bag. When i got to class, the P teacher announced it was her birthday. So I said “:I KNEW, so I have a gift!” and handed her the ugly shell necklace LOL!!!! She put it on and swung around the room in her invisible outfit like the nude King! Then she said to me: “well my birthday, its actually in a month “. ROTFLMAO ! My fake P friend was dying on the spot (she wasn’t getting the attention)SOO FUNNY! It is only because of all your help that i have reached this point. I read all of your and Kathleens advice daily to get thru it.
Skylar: I feel exactly the same as you around P/S/N’s. The ONLY reason I got to this point is that i harrassed/hassled everyone on LF for a month (at least) before i did start the class. EVERYBODY(without exception) put up with my crap and were so loving and kind and patient and gave me a little bit of tough love and a lot of warm lovin and I finally got to the point where I could do it. NO OTHER WAY I COULD HAVE!!!xo
Rosa: I love YOU!
Elizabeth Conley:
I have to admit here is my second favourite one, but don’t worry- i will be very careful that I am in public when i say it and to whom I say itto . But its priceless i.e. …No.14.
“I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth”. (I wish I had of known that one last November!)
Muldoon:
I’m soo rapt you are still here! I NEED YOU!! xoxo
Oxy:
Rosa and I are the bridesmaids lol!
Rosa:
I always by myself a present and take myself out for a fancy meal on Valentines day! Even when i am with a partner..since all my partners have been P’s I have NEVER relied on them for roses or chocolates or a fancy meal! And I have never been disappointed that I did it, because everyone of them let me down after their first acted out valentine date HA HA!!
EC:
Number 30 I am using tomorrow! lol!
Tilly,
ROTFLMAO!!! I loved the necklace thing!!!! GREAT!!! And only by laughing inside of ourselves at them can we even tolerate them at all, but YOU ARE DOING IT GIRL FRIEND!!! I KNEW YOU COULD if you just got the RIGHT ATTITUDE!!! It IS difficult when they hold something you want over your head, but it can be done. (Like your degree) but we just have to get our own heads fixed so we realize that we CAN do what we have to do in order to get around them. This is especially important when you are dealing with one at work or school.
I dealt with several at university, and it WAS difficult but I succeeded. If they do win and keep you out of graduating (like that one did Betty) you just have to PUNT and find a way around it, a different school, or whatever, but we must never let them succeed in knocking us down and KEEPING US DOWN. Sometimes the wounds are bad, but WE CAN HEAL—and they will always be pieces of human garbage!!!
TOWANDA TILLY!!!!!!!
Henry, loved your ducks in a row comment!
the Bad Man in “apologizing” to me, said “for the rest of my life I will have to live with how I mismanaged this.”
I was a situation to manage! He quickly followed that up with “I never was cruel to you.”
It is so wonderful to get to the point where these things seem funny.
Muldoon,
So glad you are hanging in there, and that you are ignoring his “I’m sorry” crap. Stay tough. Stay strong. We are all pulling for you. NEVER AGAIN will you have to live through the horror of that initial throwing him out stage. This time was forever!!!
You are inspirational!
Hello JAH – Guess he found himself a goose that lays the golden eggs – quack quack….