Editor’s Note: Laughs in the e-mail today sent by a Lovefraud reader. Enjoy!
Narcissist sayings about themselves:
“A lie is as good as the truth if you can get someone to believe it.'”
“I’m really easy to get along with once you learn to worship me.”
About Narcissists:
“He was the only man I ever knew that could strut while sitting down.”
“Every narcissist woman wants a man she can look down on.”
“There’s nothing wrong with narcissists that reasoning with them won’t aggravate.”
“She was truly a legend in her own mind”
Things it is better NOT to say to a Narcissist:
“I’d love to stay and listen to you talk about yourself, but I gotta run.”
“Before you begin, may I adjust your crown?”
“They told me you weren’t foolish enough to lie all the time. I stuck up for you and said you were.”
“I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.”
“You were sent here as a warning to normal people, weren’t you?”
“Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.”
“Does this mean you’re about to rage? Would you mind doing something useful while you are at it, like getting me a beer and a sandwich?”
“You can’t be serious? Oh! Is this going to be on Candid Camera? Where’s the hidden camera? (begin looking)”
“300,000,000 sperm and YOU were the best they could find for the job?”
Other Narcissist riddles and sayings:
“A narcissist is someone who after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.”
“How does a female narcissist sleep? First she lies on one side, then she lies on the other.”
What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a Narcissist? An offer you can’t refuse, but you can’t rely on either.”
“Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of narcissists? He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren’t met.”
“What do a narcissist and sperm have in common? Both have about a 1 in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.”
“Narcissists are one of the main sources of income for therapists. Not that they ever come for therapy themselves because they know they don’t need to. But just one narcissist can easily drive ten other people into long term therapy.”
HeartMoonStar
EB, thank you…..and thank you for all your advise. I live in CA, fyi.
I have tried through the course of events, to do most of what you have recommended, but I am up against a formidable team, my N husband, and his equally N gf/atty. It has been a costly divorce for me, while not so for my Ex for obvious reasons.
We are at the final stage, and have files our reply decs for atty fees. I took it into my own hands, and wrote my own reply dec in my own words, (my atty wrote the AF trial brief).
Now, it is in the hands of the Court for AF fees, and I hope the Court, after this high conflict case, can pick out the truth amongst all the lies. 🙁
tfann
Hi,
I have been reading this newsletter for months now. I have been to afraid to comment, in fear somebody will think I am dumb. I need to reach out. I loved the jokes.
I can’t seem to get away from this man. I will start to take my life in my own hands. I begin to get on my game”
liking who I am, entertaining myself. Mainly doing the right thing, exercise etc:.
All of a sudden, he is at my door. with in a week of hanging out with him. he is ready to move in.
So I do something to get him out of my life. Play sick, he can not take me being sick. To hear him tell it. That is all he does do. Take care of me.
Anyway the reason I am written, I need help. I wanted to introduce myself. Say thank you, I would not have got this far if it weren’t for this site.
I hope to get enough courage to participate.
slimone
Tfann,
Welcome and congratulations for posting! Good work.
Have you tried no contact?
hummingbird06
Welcome tfann!
Please don’t think that just because you read how stupid we keep saying we all were, that that is what we will think of you! It’s just a “kick myself in the butt” kind of realization that we’ve all had upon finally seeing the light through the fog. There’s nothing you can say here that would shock us…that we wouldn’t believe…that we wouldn’t sympathize with…or that we wouldn’t try to understand and help you with.
The first step is accepting the fact that he is what he is and he will not change…but you need to get away from him ASAP! No Contact is the ONLY way to start the recovery process. Read the blogs…read the articles…ask questions…we’ve all been where you are and we know it’s not easy.
One day at a time….take a deep breath…hugs
ErinBrock
Tfann:
Welcome my dear…… share whenever you feel comfortable…
We are all in the same boat….at different places of our ship…..
Sometimes we get off on tangents……like last nights sex talks, but those of us participating relate and it all applies……
Jump in when you feel the need, you will not be judged here, it’s safe and no one is dumb. Yes, we have all done things we regret, but we are all human and we thought we were doing the ‘right’ things at the time….
The only point that matters now is learning how to keep ourselves safe…..both emotionally and physically.
Stay safe and welcome to LF.
XXOO
lostingrief
hehehe …
days of our lies.
good one.
Ox Drover
Dear Tfann,
YES, WELCOME!!!
What Erin said is so true, we kick ourselves in the butts, and I don’t know how long you have been here, but I use my “cyber cast iron skillet” to “boink” someone on the head if they get too down on themselves—so you are “not allowed” to be too hard on yourself. Sugar, we ALL made the mistake of beating ourselves up and feeling STOOOOO-pid!
I think the BEST thing about this blog is that there are so MANY SMART AND EDUCATED PEOPLE HERE who have done “dumber” things than I have! LOL And belive me, whatever you have done, there is someone who can “top” you! it isn’t about “dumb or smart” but about being a caring person and being human, and having a heart—the psychopaths PLAY ON THAT to hook us in.
KNOWLEDGE=POWER and you are learning what he is, and that you are NOT alone, and that you are stronger than you realize! and you are NOT stupid! ((((hugs)))) and God bless.
hens
Welcome Tfann – You are already on your way to a better place because you are here. Tell him you have the swine flu…and then start healing thy self…
hens
ps. He is the swine…
skylar
welcome tfann,
sickness did make mine go away too.
But they like to have all kinds of diseases. Mine had stomache cancer, lymphoma, lupus, and multiple sclerosis to name a few. They never go to doctors or they pretend that they do but didn’t.
They want all the attention so they can’t stand it when you need attention. My friend told me that the way to get rid of them is to be BORING. Don’t respond with any emotion to anything – no matter what. Tell them “that’s fine” or “that’s ok”, no matter what they ask.
Be bland. think of yourself as a rock, a boring gray rock.
They need excitement and emotional reactions, if you are boring, they go away.