Editor’s Note: Laughs in the e-mail today sent by a Lovefraud reader. Enjoy!
Narcissist sayings about themselves:
“A lie is as good as the truth if you can get someone to believe it.'”
“I’m really easy to get along with once you learn to worship me.”
About Narcissists:
“He was the only man I ever knew that could strut while sitting down.”
“Every narcissist woman wants a man she can look down on.”
“There’s nothing wrong with narcissists that reasoning with them won’t aggravate.”
“She was truly a legend in her own mind”
Things it is better NOT to say to a Narcissist:
“I’d love to stay and listen to you talk about yourself, but I gotta run.”
“Before you begin, may I adjust your crown?”
“They told me you weren’t foolish enough to lie all the time. I stuck up for you and said you were.”
“I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.”
“You were sent here as a warning to normal people, weren’t you?”
“Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.”
“Does this mean you’re about to rage? Would you mind doing something useful while you are at it, like getting me a beer and a sandwich?”
“You can’t be serious? Oh! Is this going to be on Candid Camera? Where’s the hidden camera? (begin looking)”
“300,000,000 sperm and YOU were the best they could find for the job?”
Other Narcissist riddles and sayings:
“A narcissist is someone who after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.”
“How does a female narcissist sleep? First she lies on one side, then she lies on the other.”
What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a Narcissist? An offer you can’t refuse, but you can’t rely on either.”
“Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of narcissists? He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren’t met.”
“What do a narcissist and sperm have in common? Both have about a 1 in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.”
“Narcissists are one of the main sources of income for therapists. Not that they ever come for therapy themselves because they know they don’t need to. But just one narcissist can easily drive ten other people into long term therapy.”
muldoon.
Im starting to felm sorry someone kick me, Im not joking, this is when one of them analogies would do that make you think yeah, true.
Tilly
Muldoon:
Go back to my previous messages to you. I have lived through what you are going through. I was lucky, in that i am alive today. My kids are teribly scarred from this experience (that went for most of their lives). You need to do what I told you or your dead meat. And your kids lives will be ruined forever.
Tough love?
yes, but I wish someone had told me when I was you. My excuses (i.e. my real feelings for staying), were the exact same as yours.
I escaped when he tried to kill me. I Only just escaped .
I promise you on my life, that this is the direction you are heading in.
Tilly
I can’t believe you havn’t lined up your safety route/home/place. You know very well what is coming next. First his role playing then the double whamy violence.
Tilly
What part of “at least do it for your kids” don’t you get?
Tilly
My ex murderous husband is a fitness freak 9marathon and weights) too. Aint life grand.
Matt
muldoon:
Kathy Hawke once said something to the effect of turn off the words and watch their actions against a blue screen (like they use in movies and then superimpose the actions against a bacdrop). If you turn off all his manipulative words, what do you see? I would be highly surprised if all you see is someone who has been incredibly abusive, deceptive and manipulative.
Stop checking the emails, stop checking the phone messages, just stop. If somebody who truly matters wants you, they’ll know how to get through to you. As a friend once told me “If somebody died, there’s nothing you can do about it at 2 in the morning anyhow, so there’s no point in answering the phone.” Same rule applies here. You’ve got the kids with you, so there’s no need to discuss anything with him. You know how to dial 911 or whatever your local emergency line is. No need to talk to him. If you can, any way you can vanish to a friend’s house for the night? If you can’t just turn off everthing. If he does something as low-down as send a police officer knocking at your door “because he’s concerned”, just show the police the number of IMs, phone calls, etc and tell them he has been harrassing you which is why you are not responding. Personally, when they ask you if you want to press charges against him, I”d say “Hell Yes!” and do so.
Tilly
Thats why they don’t need a solicitor, they are their own law…remember???????
Tilly
You need to be already gone…YOU KNOW this better than anyone else. You KNOW what will happen next. WHY ARE YOU STILL WASTING TIME? HE IS NOT DIFFERENT!! IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!! Get out or die.
Matt
muldoon:
Speaking as somebody who grew up in an extremely abusive, violent household, every time I hear one of my parents say “I stayed for the sake of you kids” I want to vomit. My siblings and I all have had incredibly hard times emotionally most of our lives because of what we witnessed growing up. I think I can safely say your 5 year old will thank you later if you don’t subject her to S’s attentions now.
Tilly
MULDOON!!
Please let me add, that if you do take him back over and over again after the beatings and when he tries to kill you repeatedly (when he loses his temper). Remember :
WE WILL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU NO MATTER WHAT MULDOON!! BECAUSE WE DID THE SAME!! KEEP COMING BACK HERE MULDOON- IF YOU GO BACK TO HIM WE STILL LOVE YOU AND UNDERSTAND!!!
WE WILL NEVER EVER SHAME YOU FOR GOING BACK BECAUSE WE HAVE ALL DONE IT (except for ErinB I think who is the only one I know who got revenge…yes I’m jealous),( but we will always try to jog your memory) and so, if you let the snake bite you again and you are lying dying alone on the ground or if the funnell web spider envelops you in his web and you can’t move, KEEP COMING BACK HERE AND WE WILL HELP YOU TO SURVIVE UNTIL YOU CAN GO NC!! WE WERE YOU ONCE YOU MULDOON!!
TRY TO MOVE TO ANOTHER PLACE FOR AWHILE…..BECAUSE HE WON”T GIVE UP TRYING TO GET YOU BACK (in more ways than one)- xoxo((MULDOON))xoxo