Editor’s Note: Laughs in the e-mail today sent by a Lovefraud reader. Enjoy!
Narcissist sayings about themselves:
“A lie is as good as the truth if you can get someone to believe it.'”
“I’m really easy to get along with once you learn to worship me.”
About Narcissists:
“He was the only man I ever knew that could strut while sitting down.”
“Every narcissist woman wants a man she can look down on.”
“There’s nothing wrong with narcissists that reasoning with them won’t aggravate.”
“She was truly a legend in her own mind”
Things it is better NOT to say to a Narcissist:
“I’d love to stay and listen to you talk about yourself, but I gotta run.”
“Before you begin, may I adjust your crown?”
“They told me you weren’t foolish enough to lie all the time. I stuck up for you and said you were.”
“I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.”
“You were sent here as a warning to normal people, weren’t you?”
“Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.”
“Does this mean you’re about to rage? Would you mind doing something useful while you are at it, like getting me a beer and a sandwich?”
“You can’t be serious? Oh! Is this going to be on Candid Camera? Where’s the hidden camera? (begin looking)”
“300,000,000 sperm and YOU were the best they could find for the job?”
Other Narcissist riddles and sayings:
“A narcissist is someone who after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.”
“How does a female narcissist sleep? First she lies on one side, then she lies on the other.”
What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a Narcissist? An offer you can’t refuse, but you can’t rely on either.”
“Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of narcissists? He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren’t met.”
“What do a narcissist and sperm have in common? Both have about a 1 in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.”
“Narcissists are one of the main sources of income for therapists. Not that they ever come for therapy themselves because they know they don’t need to. But just one narcissist can easily drive ten other people into long term therapy.”
Henry:
Once I get rid of my anger and you build up your self esteem again, I reckon that we are both in with a chance to have a real relationship with a real man. Whatdyusay?
Muldoon:
Sitting there in the place you shared together is like being a sitting duck.
Dear Henry,
Sounds like the scotch has got you taking a very bad walk down memory lane – as Erin B said to me get the hell off that path…
first of all it’s not that HE didn’t love YOU – he can’t REALLY LOVE anyone. That’s the simple truth. It’s not that you weren’t worthy. Even if he truly WANTED to love you, it was because of how LOVING you made HIM FEEL.
Second – stop and think about that mirror analogy for a moment, too. Initially what he mirrored back at you was your deepest desires and wishes… your dream relationship. He sold you a bill of sale on what you wanted most in a relationship. Do not fault yourself for wanting and deserving all the initially good things he offered you before the mask slipped. I have come to the conclusion that for the time he did it my ex S had to work awful damn hard to give me my heart’s desire in a relationship. I am amzed he kept it up as long as he did before the mask slipped, cracked, and then eventually shattered. No wonder his latest victim is working so well for him – her standards bar is clearly much lower than mine as was his ex wife’s given that from what I have heard he NEVER treated them as well as he treated me. BUT there is the key… HE treated me well because it suited him until it didn’t any more. That doesn’t mean I didn’t/don’t deserve to be treated well or that I was a fool… and neither do/were you, Henry.
You have every right to want/wish to have what you saw in the mirror becasue he was mirroring your desires and YOUR goodness… you just need to find those things with someone who is real and capable of intimacy for the long term… In the here and now, though, I hear you loud and clear – Loneliness sucks. There I said it. It does and that hatred of the loneliness is the real issue… not that he didn’t love you. I hope that you will find the love you desire, Henry, sooner than later. Our buddy Matt is showing us the way by showing us how great a healthy relationship can be…
hang in there, Henry!
Tilly – Seriously – I am too the point I dont want a relationship with a man. I am more focused on a relationship with me. Me and the handfull of people who love with out doubt. I want a relationship I can share and give love and kindness and respect too the real people I encounter. I want peace and contentment in my own skin. I want the voices of guilt and shame and doubt to go away. Too many imposter of love have taken enough of me. Wether it is me that is flawed or them – I will be me – just for mysake..Now Tilly I am not saying I dont daydream of Mr. Real, but Hon – speaking for myself I have kissed too many fuckin frogs – I am tired of giving my life and time to those undeserving – and I want the clarity of mind and heart to know what is real and that would be Me and that handfull of love I have.
Tilly – while I know that you have had more than your share of danger and heartache, the story about what you and your baby endured, brought tears to my eyes. You were a very strong woman to leave the next day and to love your children enough to make the heard choices, and to know that even though it was difficult to do, that your children and you deserved better and to be safe. I hope that Muldoon is listening to all the advice you and others are giving her… as a teacher I see all to often what happens to young people when their parents “stay for the children.” Give yourslef a hug from me for your courage then and now. (hugs)
HP
Muldoon, I’m back from my trip.
You CAN shut off the empathy for him. DO IT.
Do you have a friend with a big dog who you can borrow? If you were near me, I’d send at least two of my big dogs over. You don’t need to take on the permanent care of a dog on top of everything else. But they are great protection. Even if they are just “there”.
Oxy and everyone gave great advice. WONDERFUL advice!
Everything he is saying is for one reason: NOT to explain what he is “feeling or thinking” because their emotions are 1/8″ inch thick, HIS WORDS ARE JUST TO GET WHATEVER IT IS THAT HE WANTS AT THE MOMENT. I wish I could send my man eater niece over there to falsely seduce him with sex and money and a ride in her plane and a promise to take care of him forever. That would be the quickest way to get him off your case!!!!
Here are a few quote from that site you and I like:”For a start, you can’t ’break up’ when there is nothing to break up from.”
“But if you are at that point where you want to and can do something about this, don’t try to make things anymore complicated than they are because when you let go of something that doesn’t and didn’t exist, you have that power and are in the driving seat of what happens to you. Don’t make out like he has to do something to end this ”“ you have to do something and cold turkey it out ”
WHAT HE DOES OR DOES NOT DO OR SAYS OR DOES NOT SAY HAS NO RELEVANCE AS FAR AS REACTING TO HIM, OTHER THAN TO KEEP YOURSELF SAFE. HIS WORDS MEAN NOTHING. nothing. NOTHING!
I know, easy for me to say. But stay strong. YOU CAN DO THIS!! FOR YOU and for your KIDS, and even for him. If he comes back, he is eventually going to hurt you or the kids so bad that he will be sent to prison for life.
I don’t mean to bust anyones bubble!
There is no doubt that N/S/P s exist! BUT
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VI9E71FaJ5M
Think about this?
If I tell you the water is deep or cold
and you choose to go in anyways regardless of my warning.
And my counsel about the danger.
Am I still responceable for your rescue? Or must I permit you to learn , allow you to learn for your self?
If I tell you the stove burner will burn you and you touch it any ways, who’s responceability is it?
Your Creator loves you! It is going to make you learn what is true! because of that love. not to punish you but because it wants you to know the truth!
This arrived in my in box this am, and I laughed myself silly. I hope it will bring a bit of mirth to some of you:
40 things you would like to say at work or may have already said!
1. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of shit.
2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
7. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a damn word you’re saying.
10. Ahhh…I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don’t give a damn.
14. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
21. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be…?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
40. Oh I get it… like humor… but different.
still here..