Editor’s Note: Laughs in the e-mail today sent by a Lovefraud reader. Enjoy!
Narcissist sayings about themselves:
“A lie is as good as the truth if you can get someone to believe it.'”
“I’m really easy to get along with once you learn to worship me.”
About Narcissists:
“He was the only man I ever knew that could strut while sitting down.”
“Every narcissist woman wants a man she can look down on.”
“There’s nothing wrong with narcissists that reasoning with them won’t aggravate.”
“She was truly a legend in her own mind”
Things it is better NOT to say to a Narcissist:
“I’d love to stay and listen to you talk about yourself, but I gotta run.”
“Before you begin, may I adjust your crown?”
“They told me you weren’t foolish enough to lie all the time. I stuck up for you and said you were.”
“I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.”
“You were sent here as a warning to normal people, weren’t you?”
“Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.”
“Does this mean you’re about to rage? Would you mind doing something useful while you are at it, like getting me a beer and a sandwich?”
“You can’t be serious? Oh! Is this going to be on Candid Camera? Where’s the hidden camera? (begin looking)”
“300,000,000 sperm and YOU were the best they could find for the job?”
Other Narcissist riddles and sayings:
“A narcissist is someone who after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.”
“How does a female narcissist sleep? First she lies on one side, then she lies on the other.”
What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a Narcissist? An offer you can’t refuse, but you can’t rely on either.”
“Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of narcissists? He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren’t met.”
“What do a narcissist and sperm have in common? Both have about a 1 in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.”
“Narcissists are one of the main sources of income for therapists. Not that they ever come for therapy themselves because they know they don’t need to. But just one narcissist can easily drive ten other people into long term therapy.”
Hi muldoon, good to hear from you, hope your all doing ok!!!!!
I think #9 from EC’s list above should become the standard reply for those who feel compelled to reply when whe have, as Tilly said, a round of psychopath on site:
9. It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a damn word you’re saying
Next to NC and ignoring them potted plant style an onslaught of that line repeated… and the ensuing S/P spin they would do would be hilarious. My own experience with going NC with my ex S, no matter what he did, was very empowering… as was watching him come undone from a distance. I think it was Hare who said (paraphrasing here) as much as they are individually outside the realm of normal, they are collectively the same. Knowing that little bit of info really helps me maintain NC IRL and online. As awful as it was IRL when the S was doing everything possible to engage me, and escalting with each attempt, in hindsight I chuckle at how predictable it all was.
Hecates Path – I tried to respond last nite but for some reason it wouldnt post. I have no doubt you were the best your Ex ever knew or will know again..I know you will find Mr.Real someday because you will settle for nothing less. What you said is so true. But for me Mr.Real will always be a wild card. Thanks for your sweet response .
EC, Got a good laugh from your list, especially “If I throw a stick will you leave” and ” who lit the fuse on your tampon?”
HP, what does IRL mean? Thanks. Hope every body’s strong and happy.
Kim, IRP means “in Real Life”
Sorry, my eyesight is failing — really!
Of course, I meant IRL, not IRP.
I think this list hits the bull’s eye target right smack dab in the center.
While reading them, my mind flashed brief snippets of people I have known in the past who exemplify these humorous, yet enlightening quotes.
And NewLife, doll, when you are in the beginning stages of healing, still realing from betrayal, deception and heartache trying to find anything to giggle, laugh about is an almost insurmountable task.
What’s so funny about being used, abused, exploited and predated upon? Not a damn thing. It’s awful, painful and miserable. I wouldn’t wish a P/S/N on my worst enemy even if I had a worst enemy.
But after a while, as you begin to either reclaim your own personal power or finally acknowledge that it does exist and it’s been there the entire time you DO realize that these creatures of doom deserve your contempt and loathing. Hence, laughing at them becomes easy, acceptable and maybe even necessary.
Laughter is the best of medicine and if the humor you direct towards them is more than a little sardonic, so be it. It is a healing exercise and I wholeheartedly recommend it.
🙂
#41 You can’t fire me. I just quit.
Unfortunately, I have actually had to pull a #41 twice in my life (I have had many jobs, though).
As “Rachel” from the sit-com, FRIENDS, said in that episode where she made her kiss-off phone call to “Ross” in the restaurant, “And that, my friend, is CLOSURE.” 🙂
Dear Jane, Thank you for your concern about my inability to laugh at this list. I agree 100% that laughter is the best medicine.
Maybe I just haven’t reached the point of feeling any contempt and loathing toward my abuser. I don’t know but I do know that if others can laugh, even sardonically, I can enjoy their humor vicariously!!
And BTW, my healing that is just beginning has, for the past 7 years, been from the results of the smear campaign the eX did on our adult children after I escaped (parental alienation syndrome.)
By the time I escaped the 46.5 year “marriage,” I had already done most of my healing from that. (He had tried to kill me before, too.)
I was terribly surprised, though, about the PTSD results of SUPPRESSING my emotions during the physical assaults (that NEVER made sense. Each time, I just FROZE. (I knew I hadn’t done anything to cause them — and that isn’t denial!) that began occurring just a few months later with the TRIGGER of the Lacy/Scott Peterson trial.
Speaking of run-on sentences. LOL (I can laugh about those) Hope I made sense!
shabbychic..so far so good.Deflated now and all moaned out.