Editor’s Note: Laughs in the e-mail today sent by a Lovefraud reader. Enjoy!
Narcissist sayings about themselves:
“A lie is as good as the truth if you can get someone to believe it.'”
“I’m really easy to get along with once you learn to worship me.”
About Narcissists:
“He was the only man I ever knew that could strut while sitting down.”
“Every narcissist woman wants a man she can look down on.”
“There’s nothing wrong with narcissists that reasoning with them won’t aggravate.”
“She was truly a legend in her own mind”
Things it is better NOT to say to a Narcissist:
“I’d love to stay and listen to you talk about yourself, but I gotta run.”
“Before you begin, may I adjust your crown?”
“They told me you weren’t foolish enough to lie all the time. I stuck up for you and said you were.”
“I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.”
“You were sent here as a warning to normal people, weren’t you?”
“Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.”
“Does this mean you’re about to rage? Would you mind doing something useful while you are at it, like getting me a beer and a sandwich?”
“You can’t be serious? Oh! Is this going to be on Candid Camera? Where’s the hidden camera? (begin looking)”
“300,000,000 sperm and YOU were the best they could find for the job?”
Other Narcissist riddles and sayings:
“A narcissist is someone who after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.”
“How does a female narcissist sleep? First she lies on one side, then she lies on the other.”
What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a Narcissist? An offer you can’t refuse, but you can’t rely on either.”
“Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of narcissists? He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren’t met.”
“What do a narcissist and sperm have in common? Both have about a 1 in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.”
“Narcissists are one of the main sources of income for therapists. Not that they ever come for therapy themselves because they know they don’t need to. But just one narcissist can easily drive ten other people into long term therapy.”
Clink Clink to you Rosa- well I am bad about buying myself xmas present’s – I kinda lay low on my birthday – but I will treat myself to some hard work tomorrow – my oldest son is going to cook out burger’s for me tomorrow nite – I will get a card from my youngest son as his wife and I share the same birthday and he has no excuse to forget anymore lol
Henry,
First of all, I have never been boinked with Oxy’s skillet before so I am honored that my first skillet boinking was from you! I do believe you were the original recipient of Oxy’s skillet, too, which makes me feel even more honored. 🙂
Second, I laughed so hard when I was reading your “boinks” that my daughter came out of her room to see what was so funny. I also smiled at you saying you’d marry me if you were straight ”“ as they say all the really great men are gay. 🙂
Additionally, I most sincerely disagree with your statement that you are not eloquent with your words. (and since I’m an English teacher I get the final say on that one, LOL! ) Not only are your words eloquent they made me smile and brought tears to my eyes. It truly wasn’t just what you said that touched me but how kindly you said it. I appreciate your words more than you know. Thank you sincerely for the reminder to stay the path and having hope for me when I’m having trouble having it for myself. Your post was the nicest surprise and greatly appreciated”
Now, as for you saying the odds are against you, I am willing to bet otherwise, white hair and all! If you do, however, win the lottery though, I’d be willing to join you on a trip to some sunny place in search of fruity drinks with umbrellas and lots of cute cabana boys strolling around. 😉
And, last but certainly not least:
“”*H*A*P*P*Y* *B*I*R*T*H*D*A*Y dear *HENRY*!! H*A*P*P*Y* *B*I*R*T*H*D*A*Y* to *YOU* !*!”
An *abundance* of birthday wishes are coming your way, my friend !*! I hope the year ahead is your best year *ever* and filled with *good* health, *special* moments, and *many* happy surprises. Treat yourself well on your birthday since we can’t be with you to spoil you with cake and presents. Much happiness and many hugs to you, Henry” Hecate’s Path
OOPs! My last post should have said “You are proof, as they say, that all the really great men…”
apologies! I am a lousy typist and start deleting things when I am revising in my head and I, of all people, forget to proofread when I am in the blogosphere… shh! please don’t tell my students!
HAPPY HAPPY BIRRRRRTTTTTTH-DAAAAY, DEEEEER HEEEEE-NNNN-RYYYYY, HAPPPPPPPIY BIRTH-DAAAAAA TOOOOOO YOOOOOOUUUU!!! ANDMANNNNNIE MOOOORRREEE!
Well gusyk not to steal thunder from Henry’s birth day, but guesssss WHAT?!!!!!
Drum roll!!!!!!
I HAD A DATE TODAY AND HAVE ANOTHER ONE ON WEDNESDAY!!!!
Can you believe it???? REALLY!!!!!! Yep, a guy took me to lunch and wants to take me hiking to a park on Wednesday!!!!
So see, Henry, there is HOPE FOR US ALLLLLLL!!!!! And he likes Fat and Hairy, and thinks my wagon is cool, and his brother lives down the road from me, and he is a pilot, and lives here part of the year near his brother and father, and part on a sail boat, and part in the deep south! And he’s smart and doesn’t cuss, drink or smoke!!! Gosh, he’s starting to sound “too good to be true” so maybe I better take it slow, what you think? Next week for the wedding, or this coming weekend? JUST KIDDING GUYS!!! LOL Believe me, it will be slow and cautious and FRIENDS FIRST! Oh, and he has a concealed carry license so he’s had a thorough FBI back ground check and at least isn’t a felon. That’s at least a start. Oh, and his wife died in 2005, they didn’t get a divorce.
But, seriously, it is nice just to have someone ask me out (had a great lunch and conversation) and want to ask me out again.
You guys have a great evening, I’m off to bed early tonight. Couldn’t put that Fatal Shore book down until LATE and I had to get up early to primp for my lunch date—even do’d my hair and put on make up and my go-to-town clothes! (((hugs)))) and all my prayers guys! happy Birthday, Henry!!!!
Put another candle on my birthday cake! Sheriff John, Captain Kangaroo, Mighty Mouse, Mickey Mouse Club!!!
Happy Birthday Henry! Here you go… (hope this works!)
http://www.sun7news.com/index.php?code=61njq5WIi108Di4kZ482&CMP=OTC-WWYCOVS1001
Oxy!! What a *wonderful* update!! I am *so* *happy* & *excited* for you!! And, I am relieved to know the weeding won’t be this week or next LOL! Besides, if this guy turns out to be your “Mr. Real” as Henry says, we need LOTS of time to plan a lovefraud wedding extravaganza! 😉 Will be looking for your update on Wednesday… thank you in advance for letting us live vicariously through you… ha! ha!
Oxy is already picking out china – well hells bells if Ox can get a date then there is hope for us all – thank you hecates path – i meant everyword – thank you oxysmoxy
Oxy… Awesome!!!!! !!!! !!! “Friends First” cool… sounds good!
OXY!!!! YOU GO GIRL!!!! I remember first coming to this site and tryin to talk to you about not giving up on finding Mr. Real! Little did I know you were the QUEEN OF KNOWING MR. REAL FROM MR. WRONG AGAIN whenever that day comes….
YES I CAN BELIEVE IT! A WEDDING ON THE FARM!!!! HENRY COULD GIVE YOU AWAY AS YOU RIDE DOWN THE AISLE WITH FAT AND HAIRY!!
FOR NOW GIVE HENRY ALL OF HIS INFO SO HE CAN CHECK HIM OUT THOROUGHLY!!!! 🙂 GOOD FOR YOU OXY! Have a great 2nd date on Wednesday. Remember to JUST BE YOURSELF!! 🙂 xoxo
Shabby Chick that is the best birthday present I have ever had – I smiled watching the whole thing thank you so much for my trip to disneyland hugs…….