Asking the police for help, and getting relationship advice
Then Brian started talking every day about how homesick he was for North Carolina (despite the fact he refused to go a week before), how he missed his family in North Carolina, how he lay awake at night crying, missing them. Those were things he said to me in mid-September, 2006. On and on, he was hot to get out the door to go do something out of state.
I did not object to the trip, although he spent nine out of 12 months unemployed and only worked or faked working as a bartender-I don’t know which-for about a week before taking off on vacation. I didn’t object because I planned to change the locks and break off contact. I played along with the “Honey I love you’s” to get him out of the house.
He left on Thursday morning, September 21, 2006. That night I found his bank statement in my apartment and it showed he received $5,000 in a deposit on September 13, 2006, which coincided with the day he allegedly started earning money bartending.
I don’t know if he actually worked or was just showing me the loan money and pretending he had earned it. He had withdrawn $1,300 in the first two days and I was like, “What did he spend it on????” He had nothing tangible that I could see he had purchased. I will never know.
All I know is that he moved a lot of his things to storage when he left for ” North Carolina ” and when I saw the bank statement, I threw everything he had touched and everything he left right out on the sidewalk. There wasn’t that much stuff at all and a percentage of it I had actually bought anyway; I just didn’t want any reason or excuse for him to come back.
Thrown out
My opinion is that he intended to conceal the money from me, blow it on a vacation or whatever, come back broke and continue to live off me. From my observations of him, Brian can’t seem to get up and consistently go to work for more than a few weeks without calling in sick, quitting, or eventually getting fired. At least for the year he was with me, he couldn’t or wouldn’t live his life in a legitimate manner. He just refused to stop the behavior.
He was calling me every few hours telling me he was staying at his mother’s in North Carolina ; that he’s out playing golf with his sister, and that he loves me blah blah. He was lying, and I was lying right back.
I waited several days into his vacation to make sure he was good and far away, and to make sure he had blown through as much of the money as possible, so maybe he would get stuck and have to stay in North Carolina.
When I finally told him he wasn’t coming back, of course he went crazy as in verbally upset and calling/texting me repeatedly. I called his mother, as I usually did when he was on an uncontrollable rant-fest, bombarding me with calls, e-mails, and text messages all day long at work.
And.get this.have you guessed??? He was not in North Carolina at all. His mother hadn’t seen him and didn’t know where he was.
Hits from California
I had attached an IP address tracking software to my MySpace page, which told me the location and address of anyone who clicked on my page. Most of my hits were always from him. I was getting hits on my page from Ridgefield , California and nothing from North Carolina , so I thought something was fishy. I’m pretty sure he was in California .
He tried to come back. He bombarded me for a week with text messages, e-mails and phone calls. At first he was sweet and then he got angry. I talked to the police, repeatedly; they just took reports and took no action at all.
I tried then to get rid of him myself and we just wound up arguing. I saw him once at a bar near Times Square for ten minutes on September 29, 2006. First he tried to have break-up sex, inviting me to a hotel room. When I refused, he tried to publicly humiliate me, shouting what a slut/whore I am and shouting the “You will open your legs for anyone” line. He stormed out and I went back to my office and changed my cell phone number. And blocked all incoming communication I could think of, i.e., text messages to my work e-mail, messages to my home e-mail, etc.
Nasty text messages
I missed a few though; the next morning I had nasty text messages in my personal e-mail claiming he was running off to Las Vegas and “Amy from last night says hello.” I was thinking, “You are calling me slut and you are the one claiming to have stuck your thing in the first girl who walked by you.whatever! She can have you! If it’s true, I will pay her to take you away!!”
I didn’t answer, but after a week of this and changing my number and he still didn’t go away, and the police wouldn’t take any action.the only thing I can think of is to call his mom, so I did, on September 30. I didn’t leave a message and she didn’t realize he wasn’t supposed to have my number. Brian’s mom called him before calling me and the first thing he wants is my new number.so then I get a phone call from a blocked ID and it’s Brian wanting to argue. I said, “DO NOT CONTACT ME,” and I hung up. Then I got a nasty text message, which I reported to the police. Who did nothing.
After a few days, I was getting Internet hits on my web page from Las Vegas . I believe it was Brian; he said he was going there. I did not shut down my web page because I wanted to have a way to tell where he was. Then a week later, he started writing nasty e-mails to my MySpace account. They came from a Kinko’s in Tennessee , and it looked like he went back to Kinko’s three times over the course of the day.
I didn’t respond. I went to the police station with it and had a long talk with a domestic violence counselor. She said he could be charged with harassment and that would come with a protective order. I was scared he would break into my apartment. She promised a detective would call me. Another week went by and no call from the detective.
Luke Studly
In mid-October, even though I had no contact from him, I felt Brian was in New Jersey , unemployed (despite trying to tell me he has replaced me and was now living with a beautiful woman with a job and apartment in Los Angeles ). I was getting a lot of web page hits from New Jersey. I was thinking, is he cyber stalking me? Well it is not illegal to look at an Internet site. I wanted to see if I could trap him.
I made up a profile of a good looking man, attached him as my MySpace friend and started sending myself public comment postings from my new imaginary MySpace boyfriend, “Luke,” as in Luke Studly. I also put an IP address tracker on Luke Studly’s profile so I could see if whoever was hitting my page 50 times a day, every day, was also hitting “Luke’s” page. The comments I put up made it look like Luke and I were dating. Brian was always extremely jealous and would rant if I spoke to a male friend or left them any comments on MySpace.com. (I know, how high school is this crap???)
The Luke profile and comments were barely finished and published before the profile started getting hits from that IP address in New Jersey . He went onto my page, DIRECTLY to Luke’s page and within an hour.BONUS! I had a nasty e-mail about ME sent by Brian to Luke Studly. It was basically trying to say that I’m fat, ugly, and crazy. (I’m a size six, by the way.)
Police do nothing
I took the e-mail to the police, trying to explain that he was not leaving me alone and asking them to do something because now I have confirmed that Brian is back in the New York area, is sitting there thinking about me all day long and is clearly disgruntled over being thrown out on his ass. I told them that while I am probably not in physical danger, he’s not going away and I felt he might possibly break into my apartment. I was trying to explain, this did not start three weeks ago, it started a year ago; he does not WANT TO LEAVE. He was NOT done with me and he was angry about it.
What did they do? What did the police do? NOTHING. They talked to me for a long time and launched into trying to give me relationship advice. I was like, look, I know that my defenses have been weak. I know I feel bad about myself and I haven’t had the strength to lift the 185-pound bloodsucking parasite off of me. I actually had to sit on the floor of my apartment and convince myself that I HAVE TO DO THIS. I HAVE TO get rid of him. I HAVE to change the locks.
And it was still so hard. When you are isolated, you go from having someone there every day to having no one there. It’s an adjustment and really, I dreaded it even though it was better for me. I just knew if I didn’t get rid of him I would be bankrupt, emotionally broken, stolen from, in a possible legal fight because who knows what he’s doing or has done in my name (I locked down my credit cards and purchased a fraud watch from intelius.com which e-mails me the same day if there is a credit application/inquiry in my name).anyway, I barely got out at the last minute, where I can still recover.
After the police didn’t do anything.I wasn’t going to respond but I decided to have my imaginary Luke Studly trap profile tell Brian off. I called him a loser who can’t get over me and said, “What part of don’t contact Eve, you are NOT WANTED, do you not understand???” And I told him to go f- himself. Then, I actually felt better, but only for a little while. So far, that seems to have worked.but I still worry that he’s not gone.
Authorities refuse to act
In the aftermath, I’m not worried about the money. I have lost nothing of real value. I worry about my apartment being broken into. Also, as I said before, I am deeply disturbed that the authorities refused to act in any way.
There must be SOMETHING they can do, given substantial evidence that someone is a criminal, currently out there committing more crimes. Isn’t lying about yourself to get money from someone illegal? Isn’t borrowing money on false pretenses that you can’t pay back illegal? Isn’t fabricating a W2 and using it to get a job/get money out of me illegal?
The policeman said to me, “I only worry about my district,” and “I can’t police the world.” Can you believe that??? It’s very disheartening. They are right on top of you if you haven’t moved your car for street cleaning exactly on the hour, but when you really need them to stop actual crimes, if you are not physically being stabbed RIGHT NOW in New York City.and they can’t make up a parking fine to charge you..they just don’t seem to want to bother.
Eve takes action
Eve Hawkins published her own website telling the truth about Brian Ellington —www.james-brian-ellington.com.
The site went live on November 7, 2006. Within seven days, she heard from two women who had run-ins with Ellington. He was telling them all the same lies, looking for his next victim.