The damage done to strangers, lovers and family members by sociopaths includes physical, emotional, psychological, social and financial harm. Over the years I have encountered many people whose lives have been damaged in this way.
The victimization alone is very sad, but people suffer not only from the actual damage but from their psychological and emotional reactions to it. It is one thing to lose a large sum of money or time that you can’t ever get back. The losses happened and are permanently in the past. It is another thing for a person’s present to be occupied by that loss.
The Aftermath is often more extensive than the victimization itself
It is my observation that for many victims this aftermath lasts a long time and includes considerable dysfunction and this dysfunction causes additional damage. Many have used the label “PTSD” for these psychological, emotional and physical reactions to victimization. Although I agree that diagnosis may fit some, I have never been entirely comfortable with it applied to this context. The reason is that PTSD technically applies to only to situations that are “life-threatening.” PTSD is an anxiety disorder as opposed to an “adjustment disorder” and some symptoms that victims have are not based in “anxiety.”
Psychologist and Professor, Dr Michael Linden, of the Research Group Psychosomatic Rehabilitation, Berlin, Germany has proposed a new disorder be added to the DSM. This disorder, termed Post-Traumatic Embitterment Disorder or PTED describes the reactions I have seen in many people victimized by sociopaths.
I thought seriously about this blog for two weeks before posting it because suggesting there is such a thing as PTED is far from politically correct and sincerely, I would not want anyone to get the idea that I blame victims for their aftermath symptoms. On the other hand, I hope that those who have the symptoms Dr. Linden identifies will consider addressing them. I am also not in favor of the medicalization of common psychological reactions and so am not rushing to advocate PTED be declared an official diagnosis.
What is PTED?
Just as PTSD is thought to result from the threat of loss of life, PTED results from a different kind of threat. Dr. Linden states regarding PTED, “The core pathogenic mechanism is not the provocation of anxiety, but a violation of basic beliefs. This threat to deeply held beliefs, acts upon the patient as a powerful psychological shock, which triggers a prolonged feeling of embitterment and injustice.”
For victims of sociopath’s the sociopath’s behavior violates core beliefs about human nature and sense of safety. That theme is discussed over and over on this website.
Diagnostic and associated features
The essential feature of posttraumatic embitterment disorder is the development of clinically significant emotional or behavioral symptoms following a single exceptional, though normal negative life event. The person knows about the event and perceives it as the cause of illness. The event is experienced as unjust, as an insult, and as a humiliation. The person’s response to the event must involve feelings of embitterment, rage, and helplessness. The person reacts with emotional arousal when reminded of the event. The characteristic symptoms resulting from the event are repeated intrusive memories and a persistent negative change in mental well-being. Affect modulation is unimpaired and normal affect can be observed if the person is distracted”¦
Besides prolonged embitterment individuals may display negative mood, irritability, restlessness, and resignation. Individuals may blame themselves for the event, for not having prevented it, or for not being able to cope with it. Patients may show a variety of unspecific somatic complaints, such as loss of appetite, sleep disturbance, pain.
PTED is said to be a disabling condition and is very difficult to treat.
Additional comments
Although I read two of Dr. Linden’s papers (see below) I was disappointed that he failed to define what it means to be bitter. How does bitterness differ from other reactions like anxiety or grief? Bitter is not an emotion it is a taste. Is he suggesting that victims have an actual bitter taste in their mouths? In studying dictionary definitions I can offer that bitterness is unique in that there is an anger/hostility component- synonym resentful, hostile feeling.
Provided he can more precisely define bitterness, I think Dr. Linden may be communicating something useful here. That is the idea that we have to mobilize our resources to move beyond events that threaten us. Events that threatened core beliefs may be very traumatic for people. It is important for victims to examine their core beliefs in recovering from a relationship with a sociopath.
I am interested in your reactions to this proposed diagnosis.
References
Linden, Michael, Kai Baumann, Barbara Lieberei, and Max Rotter. 2009. “The Post-Traumatic Embitterment Disorder Self-Rating Scale (PTED Scale).” Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy 16, no. 2: 139-147.
Linden, Michael, Kai Baumann, Max Rotter, and Barbara Schippan. 2008. “Diagnostic criteria and the standardized diagnostic interview for posttraumatic embitterment disorder (PTED).” International Journal of Psychiatry in Clinical Practice 12, no. 2: 93-96.
I have stuck my head in a few other forums and I dont care to join them..I can relate with your statement about your reptile site being your home. That is why I love it here. Maybe I should look for a weiner dog blog, now that is a thot.
star – I do have a site where I play canasta – I have chatted with peeps from all over the world. It would be great if some of you could join me there…..
it is Pogo.com my name there is Reddirt
Your not going to leave here are you Henry? You know LF needs you, don’t you?
Hens….
HOWWWLLLLLLLLL…..oh, sorry…not a full moon….AND NOT a Sat. night!
I won’t leave you AND….I have NO IDEA if you can get it up or not!!!!!
Henry….I want to tell you, I really enjoy your company on LF….I like your perspective and male opinions……and I enjoy having fun with you and the others making big plans for Saturday nights…..even though we should be out enjoying the ‘real’ world….
You give me a lot to think about and I appreciate you sharing with me/us…….
BESIDES THE FACT….what the hell is CANASTA????
And you just tortured me thinking of you as Reddirt!
Henry
sorry for my last post, that could cause a person stress.
I have no right to imply anything about someone leaving. Who am I to say someone else has to stay “they’re needed”. I’m not into this internet business. I will be leaving soon myself see, I’m like 180 years old when it comes to the internet….just don’t like it.
I’m still trying to figure out how to have necessary contact with the p without using email…. not going to happen I suppose.
Anyway Henry, I want you to know that you will always have a very special place in my heart. I will never forget you for as long as I live! You’ll never know and I could never explain how you have touched my heart so dearly!
I’d have to compete with Erin, and I’m afraid I don’t hold a light to her otherwise I’d be your younger, life long companion! (i’m in my 30’s!!!)
Love, hugs, and prayers, heavenbound
Heaven:
Girl PULEEEASSSEE…..hold a light to me…..if you ONLY knew!
I’m like 180 years old in REAL life!!!! For reals!
This is my only internet deal too…and I have to say, I really enjoy everyone and the different personalities…..I’ve only been on a computer for 6 years…..Which is like a virgin today….I’m not one to get the latest and greatest in tech…at all…..I resisted a computer, until my position required it. I’m still not convinced it’s not more work…..
I still keep paper files, and have some stuff on the computer…..I LOVE IT FOR research…there is so much more than an encyclopedia can ever offer….but I do see danger on the web…
It has it’s ups and downs….I think you do great!
We all need to find our own happiness in our own place and time.
Thanks for your posts and insights, you are truely a caring soul.
XXOO
EB
Erin,
HEEHEE, 180 yrs old in real life! So how I feel too!
I agree with you about the different personalities, it is the greatest!
I resisted a computer until my position required it as well…less then six months ago!!!I took classes at the local college on it a hundred years ago so I remember very little.
I can’t thank you enough for your kind words, I really need that, it’s been so long since I’ve had people say good things about me, to me. I’ve only been nc almost six months and I have been hid out at my moms, licking my wounds, (I know when I go home, he’ll show up) I don’t have any friends in the ‘real world’. (that’s usually a good thing) I like the lack of drama! What family I have left, after the p, are pretty tied up, stressed out and sometimes I think they only acknowledge my faults. Their human so I don’t blame them, but it does hurt sometimes to not be known for any good qualities….You know like so and so is always giving or some other positive statement…with me I hear she’s always like that or she never…alot of it is probably in my own mind though. I just want to be noticed for my good qualities (if I have any) a little more. oh well it keeps me humble I guess!
Thank you Erin it is really nice to be called a caring soul.
Buy the way the first LF article I read came up on a google search about sociopaths and children I think, I wanted to know how to handle things for my son and….anyway, your post is what brought me back over and over until I finally figured out how to get on other articles and then was able to see other posts. I’m slow like that,,,it took FOREVER I tell ya!
You had posted about getting ready for and then going to deposition with your x, it was in a may article if I remember right. You were so thrilled about how well it had went! I kept going back and trying to find more posts, It was the first time that I even dared to think I might be able to hold my own with him. It gave me hope! I was so terrified, I had just found out what he was, everything I found about p’s described him, I knew my son was in more danger then I had already known and I was seeing very little hope for protecting him against his “father”.
I’m not making a whole lot of sense, I just wanted to share with you that it was a post you had made … That helped me see it was possible, I just had to get focused and determined. (not that I’m always focused, but I was a mess at the time and NEVER focused) From there, my healing began!
Wow, I hope this is easier to follow then I think, I feel like I’ve jumped all over the place.
I believe it is Human Nature to find meaning , make sence , to understand or figure out why and how stuff happens to us! The relationship with the N/S/P wether by choice or birth comes as a Shock to the system! Literally!
The path to healing is made morre difficult, by the disbelieve of those closest to us and the manipulation of our own emotions and feelings by someone we have loved. Logic had flown out the window like a free bird!
If someone is lucky enough to catch a clue to the reality of these parasitic people. The path to comprehension and healing is made considerably more smooth!
Thank you everyone for this great discussion.
Libelle explained why Dr. Linden does not define bitterness- because in his native German this word has a specific meaning that everyone understands. The meaning does not exactly translate into English.