The damage done to strangers, lovers and family members by sociopaths includes physical, emotional, psychological, social and financial harm. Over the years I have encountered many people whose lives have been damaged in this way.
The victimization alone is very sad, but people suffer not only from the actual damage but from their psychological and emotional reactions to it. It is one thing to lose a large sum of money or time that you can’t ever get back. The losses happened and are permanently in the past. It is another thing for a person’s present to be occupied by that loss.
The Aftermath is often more extensive than the victimization itself
It is my observation that for many victims this aftermath lasts a long time and includes considerable dysfunction and this dysfunction causes additional damage. Many have used the label “PTSD” for these psychological, emotional and physical reactions to victimization. Although I agree that diagnosis may fit some, I have never been entirely comfortable with it applied to this context. The reason is that PTSD technically applies to only to situations that are “life-threatening.” PTSD is an anxiety disorder as opposed to an “adjustment disorder” and some symptoms that victims have are not based in “anxiety.”
Psychologist and Professor, Dr Michael Linden, of the Research Group Psychosomatic Rehabilitation, Berlin, Germany has proposed a new disorder be added to the DSM. This disorder, termed Post-Traumatic Embitterment Disorder or PTED describes the reactions I have seen in many people victimized by sociopaths.
I thought seriously about this blog for two weeks before posting it because suggesting there is such a thing as PTED is far from politically correct and sincerely, I would not want anyone to get the idea that I blame victims for their aftermath symptoms. On the other hand, I hope that those who have the symptoms Dr. Linden identifies will consider addressing them. I am also not in favor of the medicalization of common psychological reactions and so am not rushing to advocate PTED be declared an official diagnosis.
What is PTED?
Just as PTSD is thought to result from the threat of loss of life, PTED results from a different kind of threat. Dr. Linden states regarding PTED, “The core pathogenic mechanism is not the provocation of anxiety, but a violation of basic beliefs. This threat to deeply held beliefs, acts upon the patient as a powerful psychological shock, which triggers a prolonged feeling of embitterment and injustice.”
For victims of sociopath’s the sociopath’s behavior violates core beliefs about human nature and sense of safety. That theme is discussed over and over on this website.
Diagnostic and associated features
The essential feature of posttraumatic embitterment disorder is the development of clinically significant emotional or behavioral symptoms following a single exceptional, though normal negative life event. The person knows about the event and perceives it as the cause of illness. The event is experienced as unjust, as an insult, and as a humiliation. The person’s response to the event must involve feelings of embitterment, rage, and helplessness. The person reacts with emotional arousal when reminded of the event. The characteristic symptoms resulting from the event are repeated intrusive memories and a persistent negative change in mental well-being. Affect modulation is unimpaired and normal affect can be observed if the person is distracted”¦
Besides prolonged embitterment individuals may display negative mood, irritability, restlessness, and resignation. Individuals may blame themselves for the event, for not having prevented it, or for not being able to cope with it. Patients may show a variety of unspecific somatic complaints, such as loss of appetite, sleep disturbance, pain.
PTED is said to be a disabling condition and is very difficult to treat.
Additional comments
Although I read two of Dr. Linden’s papers (see below) I was disappointed that he failed to define what it means to be bitter. How does bitterness differ from other reactions like anxiety or grief? Bitter is not an emotion it is a taste. Is he suggesting that victims have an actual bitter taste in their mouths? In studying dictionary definitions I can offer that bitterness is unique in that there is an anger/hostility component- synonym resentful, hostile feeling.
Provided he can more precisely define bitterness, I think Dr. Linden may be communicating something useful here. That is the idea that we have to mobilize our resources to move beyond events that threaten us. Events that threatened core beliefs may be very traumatic for people. It is important for victims to examine their core beliefs in recovering from a relationship with a sociopath.
I am interested in your reactions to this proposed diagnosis.
References
Linden, Michael, Kai Baumann, Barbara Lieberei, and Max Rotter. 2009. “The Post-Traumatic Embitterment Disorder Self-Rating Scale (PTED Scale).” Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy 16, no. 2: 139-147.
Linden, Michael, Kai Baumann, Max Rotter, and Barbara Schippan. 2008. “Diagnostic criteria and the standardized diagnostic interview for posttraumatic embitterment disorder (PTED).” International Journal of Psychiatry in Clinical Practice 12, no. 2: 93-96.
They were maried 6 months after the divorce. They are still married and my Uncle has been a great step-dad and is great with my grandkids…she could of married a jerk that was mean to my kids, so it all worked out for the best. But it is something I dont talk about often. This was 25 years ago.
Henry, it seems like everything bad happened ’round about that year. Late ’83, early ’84. my condolences to you, even though it did work out ok for the kids.
This comic strip is so funny I just had to post it. It is soooo LF.
http://comics.com/zoom/127263/
Sky That is too funny!!!!!! thanx for sharing it. I have just touched the surface of my life, I would write a book but I am still trying to figure out the plot. It would make a great dark comedy.. It’s funny that I lived with all this drama my whole life and a skanky trick that wouldnt leave brought me to my knees. go figure
Yeah Henry each of us has a great book to write. some of us just need a better ending for ours.
Funny thing is, they are all skanky tricks. That’s the lure, a walk on the wild side, going slumming for a day, or some other exciting lure to take us away from reality and WHAM BAM THANKYOU MAM. They’ve taken 25 years, our money, our soul and mostly our faith in humanity. Oh well, we had to grow up sometime right?
education in reality long overdue good to see ya Sky
My ex, the sociopath, wanted us to write a screenplay together, before I moved him out to LA to break into the movie business. His idea was to write it about a sociopath and the woman who loved him. (Not that he was admitting anything… the premise just intrigued him.)
I thought it was a great idea. I had visions of a Mamet-style movie, all strange interiors and obvious but exquisitely telling dialogue. I wanted to write the story of a woman who was completely under the spell of a charismatic con man who was slowing killing everything about her, and how she slowly figured out that, while all the other marks came and went when he was done with them, she was the one that he couldn’t leave alone. And how she the wherewithal to escape, but not before she turned the tables on him in some very permanent way. Maybe killing him, maybe setting him up to be busted for some capital crime he’d never done.
I told him my idea, and he said that he’d actually had something in mind with more like an action movie with a lot of car chases. And then in that classic way they do, he just sort of drifted away, the fading of interest in the the project playing out in his eyes like a camera lens going out of focus.
I was one of the funnier (for me) moments of the relationship.
guess he didnt like the part about killing him?
skylar, great comic strip!! too cute, too real!
Ok I don’t know where to post this…so I guess here is good! Well, I thought I was having a good day…and my dad called. We have a family friend that works on cars for extra money. This guy has worked on my car a few times in the last year or so. Great guy. I gave him my car a week ago to have my muffler changed. So my dad calls me today and wants to know if I have an extra key for my car. And I can’t find it for the life of me. I ask…what did Dave lock my key in the car? And nothing could prepare me for what my dad said next. “Well, not exactly. You’re car was stolen Amber. And Dave’s son stole it and no one knows where he’s at.”
……………………………………………..WTF?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! So, I’m on a bit of a quandry. I’m assuming the kids on drugs..otherwise why would he steal a car that his dad was working on for a friend????? But jesus christ?!?!? The car is in my name!! What if this little fucker kills someone drunk driving????? And it’s in MY NAME?!?!?!??! I feel bad for Dave…and my dad told him he has until Thursday to come up with the car or we’re reporting it stolen. Well, what if something happens between now and Thursday?!?!?! Then it’s MY fault for not reporting it right away…..GOD THIS IS HORRIBLE!!!!! What a fucking little shithead of a kid. Dave is beyond embarrassed…which I understand…but what possesses someone to do this stuff?!?!?!?
As if I don’t have enough crap going on…now for the next 48 hours I’m going to worry about some punk ass kid who stole my car?? Hoping that he doesn’t kill someone in it…I don’t know if I can wait that long. Well, I guess Dave wanted the extra key because he thinks he might know where it’s at, and we can just go steal it back..but this is just crazy. Ok well I just needed to vent. Thanks for letting me ramble. Feel free to give me any advice…I could use it right now.
that sucks amber, but what choice do you have? report it stolen or your insurance won’t cover the damage. Fact is, the kid probably already has a buyer for the parts. Is it honda or toyota? They strip those fast. If the dad knows where it is, he needs to tell the cops before they strip it and he becomes liable. He was the last one who had it. The kid or the dad is going to get thrown under the bus. The only person who shoudn’t be there is YOU, because it’s not your fault, so report it.