UPDATED FOR 2020: It’s bad enough that sociopaths lie to hook you. But they also lie about you, which is known as the “smear campaign.”
Anything they tell you about themselves may be false — their age, education, credentials, family details, income, criminal record, job or work history. And of course, sociopaths typically lie about their relationship history and status. They claim to be single when they are married; they claim to be childless when they have many offspring — even with multiple partners.
Sociopaths lie — it’s the key characteristic of the disorder. When you fall for the lies, you feel like a chump. But what often turns out to be even more devastating is the lies they tell about you.
The smear campaign
Sociopaths typically engage in a smear campaign about their targets. These are outright lies that they tell about you to your family, friends, neighbors, co-workers and others in your social circle.
The sociopath’s objective with the smear campaign is to compromise your social support system, and therefore increase his or her control over you. For this reason, the sociopath may start lying about you long before you suspect any problems in your relationship.
For example, a sociopath may have a conversation like the following with your friend, Jane:
Sociopath: “You know, I found out about six months into our relationship that Mary was cheating on me. She was secretly seeing a guy from work.”
Jane: “I never knew about that!”
Sociopath: “Well, I imagine that she didn’t want to tell you, because you might have said something to me. I know I can trust you.”
Jane: “Of course you can!”
Sociopath: “I really love Mary, so I’ve forgiven her.”
You, of course, never cheated on the sociopath — the entire story is a complete fabrication. But look at what happens because of what the sociopath said:
- Jane thinks you cheated on your partner, which lowers her opinion of you.
- Jane believes you are keeping secrets from her, so you aren’t much of a friend.
- The sociopath pretends to be wronged, which elicits sympathy from Jane.
- The sociopath enlists Jane as a potential informer.
- For taking you back after you supposedly cheated, the sociopath claims the moral high ground.
All of these dynamics may be very useful to the sociopath down the road, when you split up and find that your family and friends are supporting him rather than you.
The most common lies of the smear campaign
I’ve heard from many, many people that sociopaths have accused them of being crazy, psycho, unbalanced, needing therapy or needing medication. So I think the most prevalent lies sociopaths tell about you are statements undermining your mental stability.
What’s really dangerous about these statements is the manner in which they are said. Instead of ranting about you, often sociopaths seem to be expressing concern.
Read more: Can you find out if someone is married?
A sociopath will quietly say to your friends and family, “You know, I’m really worried about Mary. She really seems to be losing it. But she just won’t go see a therapist.”
They come across as so believable.
You, of course, may be legitimately suffering from anxiety or depression because of emotional and psychological abuse by the sociopath. And due to the sociopath’s gaslighting, you may even be questioning your own sanity.
Still, by questioning your mental ability to your family and friends, the sociopath weakens your standing and makes them less likely to support your decisions. The sociopath, in the meantime, is seen as a concerned partner, someone who is looking out for your well-being, which couldn’t be further from the truth.
How to combat the lies: Pick your battles
Sometimes the sociopath’s smear campaign has been going on for so long, and has been so well orchestrated, that you may find your entire family, social group or community aligned against you. I’ve heard from many people who realize that everyone in their church believes the sociopath’s lies and not them.
This is terribly distressing. Your reputation is shredded, and you did nothing wrong. So how do you fight this? What do you do?
Unfortunately, sociopaths are such accomplished liars that some people will believe their stories no matter how much you protest. So here’s what I suggest:
Learn more: Tools for navigating narcissists and other manipulative people
Figure out which people are really important to you and need to know the truth. Do your best to tell them your side of the story. Show them proof if you have it.
For everyone else, you develop a stock response, perhaps a shrug and, “He likes to tell stories.”
You may find that you will need to walk away from some people, remove them from your life. So be it.
When you absolutely must fight the lies
There is one situation in which you must do your best to fight the lies: When you have a court case involving a sociopath.
Sociopaths have absolutely no qualms about lying in court testimony or court documents. When the sociopaths lie about you in court, you MUST object.
Court proceedings are all about establishing a “record.” Because everything said during a court proceeding is supposed to be the truth, sociopaths are assumed to be telling the truth, no matter what they say. So when their statements are lies, you must counter them.
If you fail to dispute the sociopath’s lies, they become part of the court record. This can turn into a real problem later on, with much bigger repercussions than the smear campaign.
Another time to fight is when you are accused of a crime that you did not do. You may be advised to plead guilty, especially if you can’t afford a lawyer. This is generally a bad idea. A guilty plea means a criminal record, and a criminal record will cause you big problems later in life.
3 questions to help you respond to the smear campaign
Here’s the bottom line: Sociopaths lie about everything, so they are likely to lie about you. No one wants to be characterized falsely. But realize that you can choose how, or even if, you will respond to the lies.
Here are three questions to help you decide what to do:
- Does this particular lie damage my life?
- Does this person need to know the truth?
- Will responding to the lie keep me engaged with the sociopath?
In situations where you can move on without combating the lies of the smear campaign, that might be the best approach. Reserve your energy for taking action on the matters that are vital to your life.
Lovefraud originally posted this article on August 4, 2014.
Comparing relationships with sociopaths and borderlines
During the love bombing, he called my eyes — which happen to be very large and blue — the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen.
After he lost interest in me, I became a “bug-eyed freak.”
He told people that I stalked him, that I showed up at his house uninvited and wouldn’t leave until he threatened to call the police. NEVER HAPPENED.
He was a radio personality, and I came to a station-sponsored event he was hosting. It didn’t go well. But he announced ON THE AIR the next day that I showed up not wearing underwear. I realize some women do like to go commando, but I am not one of them. And even if I were, I certainly wouldn’t have skipped the underwear that night — I was wearing a skirt of very thin, sheer fabric.
I admit that I came on quite strong after he lost interest in me; I basically love-bombed him back, desperately trying to find the magic key that would bring back the man who was so into me. The man I started out wanting to be friends with, but who insisted he had to have more, and had me ready to ditch the best relationship I’ve ever had, believing that maybe I picked wrong all those years ago and he could be The One.
I lost almost two years of my life searching for that magic key. Once I snapped out of the worst of the obsession, I spent another two years trying to understand how those feelings he had once upon a time could just vaporize. Finally, it hit me. THEY NEVER EXISTED. He lied. He lied to me, and he lied about me.
Fortunately, the people who matter most in my life never heard his lies (because I was afraid to tell them this guy was in my life, fearing I’d lose their respect). But, I learned later, if they had, they wouldn’t have believed him. My heart goes out to those of you whose loved ones did believe your sociopath’s stories. They are so good at painting us, their victims, as “the crazy one.”
When I read these stories, I cant help but to feel sick because it seems that all of the stories are all the same. Even down to the smallest detail. My spath told me that my positive attitude and my “go get em” mentality were huge in the attractiveness department. When I finally divorced her, I was a no good bum who should have died in Iraq and I was doomed to never to make it and become nothing, just like my parents. These people are sick, the sickest I have ever seen and at certain points I wish I could just grab my kids and get them the heck away from her.
I am angry at the bad counselors I had who called me ‘crazy’…and kept up with that kind of emotional abuse. I was flabbergasted when I repeated back to a social worker/counselor what she had said at my last session and then she denied it!
Then she started arriving late for our scheduled time…not just a few times but A LOT. She had the gall to charge me for a missed meeting (okay, it was in the original agreement that you paid full price for not showing up, but she had never put it into practice until I did not show up…)…which angered me more. Why me? Suddenly the ‘practice’ became the ‘real deal’.
I hate her now. And she said to be ‘nice’ to my narcissist husband and declared that she ‘knew him better than I did!!’ (someone she never met!)
All of my counselors, not just some, but ALL have been piss poor at jobs. When they show up late, lie about something they said, get angry at you and make statements about you being the ‘bad’ one in the marriage…and on and on…cut your ties with them.
It is bad enough that we have only 40 minutes to talk to a professional, but it is horrendous when they are dishonest and/or downright rude (and irrational).
Barb – there are therapists who mean well but don’t understand sociopaths. And there are therapists who have no business calling themselves therapists. It sounds like you ran across a string of the bad ones.
Thank you for heads up on what to expect in court. After 37 years of marriage, I finally let go. Although no one believes that my husband is a sociopath, I lived it. My soon to be ex has charmed everyone for so long, even a few of my family members believe him. I do expect to hear lies as he is one who can look you straight in the eyes and lie. I will not allow him to intimidate me and will object.
We are schedule for court in a few weeks. Any other suggestions are welcome.
I dislike the slander and wish others could see through him. I can’t change what others think about me and its too bad for them that they did not take the opportunity to know me or speak to me after the petition to divorce. I know for a fact had they taken the time, they would know the truth. It’s about choice on their part and I have made the decision to walk away and move on.
Survivor14,
When I was going through my case, I bought an extra copy of Love Fraud and insisted my lawyers read it. I told them I was willing to pay their billable rate for the time it took to read the book and as my counselors they should do so. At least I felt that if my lawyers understood in advance what they were dealing with, they could better represent me. I was right.
It didn’t take them or the judge long to figure out he was a manipulator and liar. Other than that just be prepared to have as much evidence as you can have. Good luck!
Survivor14, I just want you to know that you are an incredibly strong person to survive 37 years with a sociopath and you are incredibly brave to “finally let go”….really incredibly strong & brave!!
I equate my marriage to my ex hell on earth….and divorcing him, the bottom of hell. The amount of lying a sociopath does in court is astounding but it is also eye opening to see exactly how they operate especially while we were under their mind control and brain fog but now know the truth behind all their manipulation, pathological lying and abuse.
I would highly recommend that you read Tina Swiftens book Divorcing a narcissist, her site is Onemomsbattle.com and she has a great facebook page One moms battle. The facebook page is a great support site to ask questions about court issues, vent, learn about dealing with the court. One moms battle deals with child custody issues in court as well as divorce issues…still ask questions on the site even if you have no children at home…it really is an excellent site for court resources.
I would also recommend that you go to your big box Book store and look at the “divorce financial books” to deal with your financial future, no lawyer will protect your financial future so it is up to you to educate yourself on this site then tell your lawyer what you want to request (in some cases you will have to demand your lawyer to put certain things in the court paper to protect your financial future). For instants you are entitled to part of your husbands future social security check if you dont remarry I would not but this in the court papers just take note that you can go to the ss office and get part of his check.
One of the books that I bough was “Divorce & Money” by NOLO it’s excellent.
I would also recommend that you get a court mental evaluation on your husband asap (one moms battle facebook can provide info on how to do this). I would also recommend that you have each and every court appears under sworn testimony meaning you and your ex are sworn in…this way you can catch him in lies under the court testimony.
Last….make your financial wish list add things to this list that would be bounce if you got them but uses them as negotiation tactics = things that you will let go of to get all the other things you really want. Start NEGOTIATION from day one with your soon to be ex though your lawyer. The lawyers will drag on your divorce to put more money in their pocket & your soon to be ex will drag the divorce on to break you down further and to get everything he wants = for you to have nothing. So right from the start Negotiate but have a good solid plan of what you want prior to you starting to Negotiate. Put stipulations in the finally divorce agreement that if your ex does not say pay alimony at the due date then he will have to sell say a home within 30 days and the money is to go into a escrow account for future payments. something to that effect because sociopaths are usually don’t do what the court states or what is in their divorce agreement then you have to keep taking them back to court costing you lawyer fees and also so they can still control you..this is what sociopaths love for us to run around attempting to get what we have been award.
If you don’t/or do have a facebook page open a new fake email account then with that fake email account open a fake facebook acct so that you can talk freely on One moms battle without your ex/his family/friends seeing what you are talking about…it will give you peace of mind. Another good facebook site support is After narcissistic abuse.
Wishing you all the best for your bright new future!! Take care.
Good idea as I don’t think most people in the legal professions (attorneys,judges, clerks, magistrates etc.) truly understand what psychosis is and the total devastation that it causes. It will be very difficult for you emotionally, after 37 years of “craziness”, to remain objective enough to know what’s worth fighting for and when you might be better off just walking away. I wish you lots of strength in this ordeal and please let us all know how it turns out… our huge community of fellow victims are all with you in heart and soul.
How can legal professionals see thru the mental illness. It took me years, with my marriage, and I work in the health profession. It amazing how we live with it as the acceptable norm. I dealt with many lies. But could not prove it. Thought I was crazy. Its like humans are tools of manipulation. One has to build their empire of social, financial, family security before swiftly pulling the rug from under the spath. To fight a spath one must think like a spath.(That was my own little philosophy). But, I have concern for those who have been pillaged of everything and dont have that ability…..
So very. very true…unfortunately!
I do not believe that people are just downright ignorant of Spaths in general. I think that most of the problem is that these systems( the law, court, etc) are just too busy to care or lack the time to deal with the Spath and the issues centered around one. If we take an outsider look at the big picture, it’s drama that no one wants to be associated with. Regardless of what it’s doing (or done to you), unless there is a law that has been broken, no one has the time. I was actually told this by an attorney who passed this on to me for informative purposes, not for me to thrown in the towel.
To re-enforce what heart wrote, I have found it’s almost impossible to financially and mentally stay ahead of my ex-spath, who it seems spends little to no energy or money making my life miserable. Since my divorce, I have developed a “hit and run” course of action in dealing with my ex spath. I only go after her (in court) if the offense she has committed has had a severe impact on my children or I. I don’t say a word to her at all about my actions. The only way she learns of my intent is through a court summons. Once this happens, I can expect to receive her wrath via text, email and/or phone call (she is however very careful not to incriminate herself on text or email) and through lack of communication with my children, etc. This harassment typically ends well after our court date and/or she finds some other focus for her attention (months). It has been only 2 and a half years since my divorce and I have been to court with her 3 times already and I foresee going to court again in the future.
Now, recovery would be a little easier with the help of family or friends. This however is harder than it seems because many spath’s isolate their victims to the point they no longer have family or friendly support. In the end, many victims (like myself) find themselves broke, alone, depressed and possibly suicidal because of the trauma that they faced with their spath and the lack of support after their encounter. In my case, I found that getting professional help to thwart the depression (including family or friends) and then using my precious financial resources only when necessary to combat my ex-spath worked for me. I might go back to zero every time I go to court with her but I win back a piece of my freedom as well. Case in point, I just had the best summer of my entire life with my children, of which none of that would have been possible had I not educated myself to the reality of the situation ( the viewpoint of the courts especially) and chosen my fights carefully. I win!
Pricer,
This is a VERY good post. In my response, I use “You” and “Your” to refer to Any victim of a sociopath.
Pricer makes excellent points that I agree with.
1) Live with reality, not with what we wish was real.
A sociopath is a disordered person that can somewhat be predicted in that they will not chose to live based on logic or what’s best, they have a hidden agenda, that includes the reality that whatever their hidden agenda, the intent of it is to harm. We can not “win” by engaging in a battle of logic because their “WIN” is not based on logic. To get to the headspace where we live in reality, we most likely need a lot of help from a therapist. This site helped me to realize what my ex was, my therapist helped me with my personal experience with my ex.
2) Pick your battles based on YOUR criteria, not based on trying to “put a sociopath in their place”.
Pricer has defined excellent criteria: that he goes to battle when she has transgressed in a way that has a severe impact on you or your children.
3) Don’t warn or tell a sociopath what you are going to do. JUST DO IT.
The sociopath IS an adversary. They live their lives as adversaries against YOU, they never cared for you, in spite of the fact that you don’t deserve it. “Not Deserving” doesn’t matter, and won’t stop them. AGAIN, they have a hidden agenda. They defined you as their adversary from the get go, from the first moment they met you. So do not goad them, or manipulate to get them to do something your way (shouldn’t do this anyway, it’s very immature.) Instead, be focused and have a plan towards your goal.
4) Courts are NOT going to do what is morally right. They are going to (hopefully) follow the law (didn’t happen in my case because my ex’s family control the law system in that county).
Just felt the need to share my response Pricer. YES YES YES. An EXCELLENT post. Thank you for sharing.
To all:
I appreciate all your comments and suggestions. Walking in a fog has hindered my ability to learn more and be prepared for what is yet to come. My attorney knows my claim that my soon to be ex is a sociopath and I have provided him emails of his rant and raging emails. I’m going to ask him how he plans on handling my spouse in court. I also want to know how he has handled cases with these type of individuals in past.
This site has given me a wealth of knowledge. Good to know that I am not alone and that through time I will heal. I’ll keep you posted.
Sociopath is not a mental illness. Mental illness suggests there is help for it. A sociopath in therapy will just learn how to manipulate better. He will turn your therapist against you. You are no match against a sociopath in court, your only defense is to see it coming early on. See that he can never do wrong.
He cooked and his hair got in the food, you don’t eat it and he gets pissed off and says it’s your hair and that he doesn’t waste food. Just a small example of Never Being Wrong. It gets bigger from there.
He turns EVERYTHING around on you. Even the littlest thing. He expected me to sit in the hot truck while he pussed around, I opened the door to get fresh air (couldn’t roll down the window cause window is electronic) He began yelling Shut the Door!!! A car is coming! So I’m supposed to shut my door, and have no fresh air. When I had asked him to roll down the windows he said he would open his door instead. Then the open doors became his issue.
Then the guy acted like a bull in a china shop. He was all elbows and bumping, and stumbling around. It was embarrassing cause we were colliding like Keystone Cops, but he was hurting me. He was accidentally beating the shit out of me. I noticed he was careful around other people. So he knows better!
He had no respect for me. He was getting angrier and angrier around me.
He had so many stories going that I’m not sure if he couldn’t keep his stories straight. Or was it that he thought he is so good that I won’t be able to keep his stories straight. This all happened in two months.
He had so many excuses of why he couldn’t pitch in for gas. I’ve already posted most of the reasons but I forgot one. He said he is insurance poor. He said he has all these vehicles insured. Cars, trucks, snowmobiles. He also said he has a souped up ice shanty for ice fishing at his dad’s house. He told my roofer that he owns five houses (oh was I embarrassed when my roofer told me this!) Yet, the guy needed to use my car and gas. His truck was always having problems. He would always cuss and say it’s the bad gas. Then at the end of our ‘relationship’ he announced that in winter he turns into a hermit. All he does is go to work and then go home. And, he stared me straight in the eye. I barely glanced at him and I turned my attention back to the TV. He really got frustrated and said He Can’t Read Me.
What is there to say? He just set me up for blowing me off this winter, guess he has another woman in mind to take snowmobiling. While he uses my car and gas so he can put funds to the side to entertain her this winter.
There were just so many signs. If he didn’t want me to know what he was up to he would mumble and not quite look at me. When he really wanted something, he would speak clearly and look me directly in the eye. At one point he said I have selective hearing. Yeah, he turned it around on me again. When he wanted to be clear, he was loud and clear.
Again this was all in two months.
When he called me on July 5 (day of fireworks) to tell me that tree fell on his wood splitter, he actually sounded happy. I think he thought his lie was so good that he was yeah! this is good! He wanted me to stay on phone with him while he waited for his buddy to come rescue. I told him no. He quickly (and happily said he will make it up to me the next weekend) I said I really wanted to see the fireworks that night. He still sounded happy as he told me that he will see what he can do. Of course I never heard back from him that night.
Then the following Wednesday he called four times. I didn’t answer. His last call message was What You Aren’t Talking to Me anymore? Give me a call and let me know. I never called him. Yet, I’ve been feeling used and abused and stupid since.
It was only two months. Yet, it seemed to take another 5 years of my life. I think that every piece these guys take, it takes a bigger chunk out of my soul every time.
Jeannie;
Something I learned is that it get’s easier to spot people like this over time. I have dated a few people since my split and one thing I have noticed is that the moment (and I do mean THE MOMENT) I feel that something is possibly wrong, that I’m being lied to or manipulated I immediately shut down and systematically begin removing the individual from my life. When I do so, I let the person know the reason I decided that we should not see each other any more and refuse to listen to any excuses. Now, I do not look for reasons to get rid of people. I do not begin a relationship and then wait until they show up late for a date and then break it off. I look forward to a healthy relationship. However, if the “red flags” show up, I do as they say in the military “pop smoke” and “break contact”.
Deja-vu…this is all familiar.
Please don’t get involved with a sociopath. They literally destroy everything with their lies. My dad is a sociopath. Growing up, I listened to lies about how my mother was a tramp and other stories. Of course, I knew they were lies and ignored them. I knew my mother, plus she and I were always together when these supposed liaisons took place.
Mom died almost twenty years ago. Then I discovered dad had started telling lies about me. I thought I was immune. Never thought he’d make up lies and destroy the reputation of his own daughter. I was wrong. And that’s why I say don’t get involved with a sociopath. You see, at some point you’ll probably divorce or break-up with them. You’ll see his/her true self and move on. But if you have kids–well–there’s no escape for us. And the pain is breath-taking.
for no child wants to realize that their parent doesn’t love them. That they’ve been living a lie all of their lives. And that’s where I am now.
For me there is no divorce. No escape.
Lizzy, I must say I can understand your plight with your father and I am truly sorry that this has happened to you. I really didn’t understand all of the damage that had occurred to me growing up as a child especially from my mother whom I trusted to keep us safe but she didn’t. I grew up not really trusting women all together and then I get married and she just happens to be a spath. It took a long time for me to get over it all and I am still healing. I have children with my ex and that terrifies me, but seeing cases such as yours gives me hope that they will grow up and learn the truth, just like we did. My mother passed away when I was 32 and five years have passed since then. In a conversation I had with her, just two weeks before she died, she still failed to realize the impact of the abuse in our home growing up and actually replied at one point that “it wasn’t that bad, I did the best I could.” This non-nonchalant attitude towards the pain and suffering we experienced growing up made me really question the possibility of my mother being a spath as well. I’m not sure as I was young when most of the abuse transpired and I left the house as soon as I was 18. What I do know was that this woman went to her grave not really regretting any part she had on my sibling’s and I abusive childhood. I pray that things turn out better for you.
Please keep in mind that your mom may indeed have done the very best she knew. Remember, until fairly recently, there was no access to, or much knowledge concerning mental illness and secondly, a woman was pretty much stuck in a marriage as female job opportunities were very meager! It’s easier to blame others rather than work on oneself. But I hear you and commiserate fully. Seek your OWN happiness.
i’m in court with my ex for 6 years over child support and equalization payments. He is making tons of money but has used his family’s names to put all his assets under. He has gone on disability and is showing he has no money.
He has created a fraudulent divorce, stole all my money over $600K, left me homeless with 4 kids and I had no job with a debt of $200K that he created.
Should I walk away and let him keep seeing the kids and not be worried about child support?
I have spent almost 100K in legal fees. He has paid some child support to cover some of the legal bills. I am in court now….should I stick it to the end even though I might just have a very expensive judgement but might never see to collect the money?
SHAHIN, this sounds like my ex. Here’s what happened. When I brought him to court for child support, he became very angry. He then filed for emergency sole custody. He was an excellent liar and well skilled at cheating me out of everything at our divorce – just like your ex – and just as skilled at convincing the court that I was an unfit mother, and won full custody of our kids (I had been the custodial parent of our kids for over 3 years at that point!). Is your ex abusive as well as a liar and a cheat? Please consider this, as you might well lose your kids altogether. My ex nearly destroyed our son during our marriage, and began sexually abusing our 8 year old daughter, which I was unaware of, when I sued him for child support. My kids and I have been through hell, and we are all injured because of these abuses.
In the event your ex retaliates with a sole custody suit (to avoid paying you/or for whatever reason), you should note that men win sole custody lawsuits, 70% of the time, when they file for same. If there are any abuse allegations involved in the case, they win custody 85% of the time. Women getting custody the majority of the time, is a MYTH!
You would need to go through family court for the child support. The family courts are broken. Do some research before you attempt anything. If you need help, let me know, and I will point you in the right direction. There’s a lot of information out there on this subject.
I am now disabled from this living hell. My daughter has been suicidal for two years and self-mutilates. My son has problems too.
survivormom
I decided to work 3 minimum paying jobs just to avoid the expense and fruitlessness of the courts (knowing I had no money and would likely lose in our unjust court system anyway!) My personal advice?… save yourself and hopefully, the children. Forget about justice…it is rare in our courts.
flicka,
I agree. There’s no such thing as justice in our court system. The courts are a profit center, a way for the government to earn money.
I made this mistake with mine when she filed the protection order last jan. I could have fought it on my own without paying a lawyer, however the one i spoke with the night before told me even with all the stuff i had as evidence that he thinks at most i only had a 50-50 shot and that if i lost the judge would max the order out at 5 years and i would have a very hard time with a custody/visitation hearing. Stupid me i just caved in and made an agreement with her lawyer for 2 years provided i can call to speak to the kids and im allowed to see them. This junk is now on my record and is the 2nd one she has filed in 10 years that i didnt fight which now makes me look like an abusive man. All my friends/family who seen the marks on me from the night she attacked me told me to take pics and i never did, i hate involving police especially over something small like that as she didnt actually hurt me, just a bruise and some scratches, wasnt a big deal to me. Then i never heard the end of it from everyone when i told them i struck a deal, its not like i was facing time for losing, i really wish i would have fought it now.