By | June 16, 2008 41 Comments

When the mask slips on the psychopath

Reading the Sunday paper this morning, this little news clip caught my eye:

“The former fashion writer convicted of sexually tormenting a co-worker while dressed as a firefighter says he’d go on a homicidal rampage if released from an Ohio prison.

“Peter Braunstein told the New York Daily News in a jailhouse interview that he has ‘no desire’ for rehabilitation.”

Back in 2005, Peter Braunstein stalked a woman who worked for the same company as he once did (although he didn’t know her), set off a smoke bomb in the hallway of her New York City apartment, banged on her door dressed as a firefighter, and held her prisoner and molested her for 13 hours. He then fled and police launched a multi-state manhunt. He robbed a psychiatrist in the Cincinnati area, and was eventually caught in Memphis.

Columnist for WWD

The news ignited a media frenzy at the time, although not being in New York, I missed it. What added so much fuel to the fire was that Braunstein had once been a columnist for Women’s Wear Daily, a publication at the epicenter of the fashion world, passing judgment on the editors of the country’s biggest fashion magazines. He was, at one point, considered an intellectual and arbiter of pop culture.

How far he has fallen. Friday’s article in the New York Post was headlined, Fake fireman sicko Braunstein likes prison, warns of ‘rampage’ if released. The article called him a psychopath.

Braunstein was already convicted in the New York crime, and was sentenced to 18 years to life. He’s currently in Cincinnati, where, according to an article entitled N.Y. tabloid villain charged here in the Enquirer, he faces another 28 years for aggravated robbery, robbery and kidnapping.

Profile of a psychopath

Vanity Fair magazine published an in-depth article about Peter Braunstein, The Devil and W.W.D., on April 2, 2007. It described his upbringing, early career, family and self-destruction. Several former friends were quoted trying to explain what happened to Braunstein.

Reading the article, it seemed pretty clear to me that Braunstein was always a psychopath. He got involved with women who financially supported him. He sent vile e-mails to his father (who may have had his own issues). He considered himself superior to the rest of the world. When his last girlfriend left him, he launched a virulent, public smear campaign.

It seems that for many years Braunstein was able to keep a lid on his disorder, until a series of career and relationship failures left him with no more claims to grandiose superiority. At that point, the mask slipped, and he stopped pretending to be a human being.

Cover is blown

It’s something many of us who have been entangled with psychopaths have experienced. The cover is blown, and the evil is released. I suspect that some psychopaths may actually feel exhilarated—finally, they can be who they really are.

Braunstein does not want to get out of jail. “I would have no desire to try to rehabilitate myself and go back to being a guy with a job and meeting girls and having friends. I’m not interested in that whatsoever.”

Those might be the most authentic and honest words this psychopath has ever spoken.

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Wow. I think this is also why many sociopaths and psychopaths spin out of control as they age. For many years they are able to “charm” people into their web of lies and deceit, but as they age they begin to lose their looks and the vitality that made them so seductive to people.

My exH seemed to become more and more blatant in his issues with people and in his affairs as he approached 60. While I suspected for years that he might be having affairs, he was incredibly good at covering AND at convincing me that it was my jealousy, not his philandering, that was the real problem and that this string of women in our life together were simply “good friends”.

Once the mask slipped and it all started coming out, he seemed to just not care any longer about his public image – at least for a time. Once I divorced him he has simply moved to another state, married another nic, sweet church woman, and has re-created himself into the Church Leadership Guru. How long this new mask will stay on is anyone’s guess. He will be 62 this year, and it is getting harder and harder for him to attract the swarm of adoring, weird, wacky, and wounded women he was able to ensnare as a church music director. I think it will be extremely interesting to see how he ends up in the end.


Ox Drover

I remember reading about this at the time it happened but didn’t remember all the details.

It is strange to me though, that he would be so honest and not want out of prison. All of the psychopaths I know who are in prison want OUT because they keep up their own FANTASY about how they are going to con their way into a great life outside. Fast cars, status symbols, great looking girlfriends, plenty of excitement, etc.

Of course the REALITY of what their life will be like after 20 years in prison is nothing like what it was in their fantasy. ONe sociologist (have long ago forgotten the name) in a book called “The Felon” talked about this dichotomy between the fantasy they build up in prison vs the reality of not being able to get the things they want, the things they think they deserve by having been “deprived” of them (unjustly of course) while they were incarcertated. Then, it is back to a life of crime with the only friends they have left, other criminals, and then back to prison.

Someone else wrote (can’t remember where I read this) that prison is a perfect home for the psychopath with the continual situation of high risk, high stakes (his life) “games” that he can play…and a continual shot of adreneline to keep life from being “boring.”

One psychopath that I got to know a bit after he got out of prison who had been a close friend of my P-sons in prison for years was bright, articulate, talented and though he had spent 20 years of his 40 in prison, seemed to be adjusting fairly well to free world life—but it was borrrring, and I think that was what sent him over the brink and back to prison.

He had a job making adequate money, a fairly supportive family of descent people, and had married a nice enough woman. It wasn’t long though, before “real life” of going to a job, coming home, eating dinner and watching TV, going to bed and repeating the process the next day became so boring that he started to abuse the wife, then dumped her and started leading an “exciting” life of more crime, and then went back to prison, where he again started to “dream” about how his x-wife was going to take him back and everything would be wonderful on the outside.

His X-wife, on my advice, has moved to “spots unknown” in anticipation of his release late this fall. This woman is struggling to make her life P-free from not only her second husband, the convict, but also from the first X who was a psychopath that beat her, to the two psychopathic sons that she raised, and poverty so grinding that it made me cry.

I had gone to visit her last January when she called me and asked me to come get her little terrier that she could not afford to feed. On my way to see another friend of mine I stopped by her house to get the little dog. She shared with me the LAST OF THE FOOD in her house for supper, which she had gotten at the charity food pantry. It was all I could do to choke it down, I felt so guilty for eating it, but I would not have insulted her generosity by refusing.

We talked away most of the night and my heart bled for this woman. But she SEES, she “gets it” about psychopaths; my son and her X-husbands, and even her own sons. One of her sons has 6 kids already born that he does not take care of or see, and has two women pregnant now, one with twins. The due dates are only a month apart.

Sometimes we cry “because we have no shoes” but when we see a “man without any feet” we feel BLESSED. It makes me sad that there are so many women (and men) who have been totally “used up” by the psychopaths over a lifetime and have nothing. I offered the woman a temoporary home here at my farm until she could get her situation together, but she told me “no, I want to make it on my own.” I don’t know where she is right now, she has no phone to contact me, but I know she will eventually call and let me know she is okay or to check on her little dog. I pray for her and the other people in her kind of loss of everything. I feel blessed by comparison.

When the criminal justice system (boy is that an oxymoron!) keeps these psychopaths in prison for longer and longer periods of time (realizing that the psychopaths commit about 70% of the violent crime) society may be safer from the majority of the violent crime we now see.

Though the Trojan HOrse Psychopath had a lifetime of violent and sexual crime against YOUNG children, when he pled down this time to “a felon in possession of a gun”–all other charges which were valid were DROPPED, then, after receiving only 3 years, the parole board was prepared to let him OUT after less than 9 months in jail or prison ILLEGALLY moving him (a sex offender) into a half-way house which was prohibited by Arkansas rule 679 that “no sexual offender may be houses in a transitional unit.” It was ONLY because some BIG MOUTHED old witch (ME!!) threatened to bring in the media and expose their illegal release of this VIOLENT man. A man who was assessed as HIGH risk for reoffense of sexual offenses with CHILDREN. I realize that prisons are crowded, but releasing men who have been PROFESSIONALLY DIAGNOSED as Psychopaths (the TH-P has been) who have a long history of VIOLENCE, seems to me to be CRIMINAL, not JUSTICE.

Yes, there is some anger against the “system” in this post and in my heart, but “all progress is made by dissatisfied people” so maybe WE can as “dissatisfied” people with the justice system can raise enough of a voice, along with all the others who are also dissatisfied with it, that some SENSE can be brought to bear on the release of violent criminals wholesale.

Several states have a 3-strikes you are out (or in for life) law, and my state isn’t one of them, but I will work for one. Since many psychopaths that are criminals are REPEAT offenders, that would “catch” many of them. My TH-P has 15 felony convictions, including 3 for sexual molestation of children under 14, one as young as 8. Think he is going to “rehabilitate”? I don’t either.


I am not suprised he siad he wanted tobe in jail….it’s a front, he’sin control …this is his choice. And yeah you can see him really enjoying it.

This is a sad story, but confirmation…PSYCHOS exist.seemingly normal, productive people…are conscienceless. That’s my psycho –no conscience at all. Zippo. I finally get that I never anthing to them, I was just used all along. And surpisingly, that made me feel better-I have nothing to miss– they are shells. I see this more and more….I just saw the psycho and watched him scan the crowd for someone to acknowledge him…desparate. He’s burning bridges… and acting out.


Dear OxDrover,

How do you get all the energy to help so many people. I think it is wonderful. You are truly a voice of love and understanding. You have helped me through some of my ordeal and I know you have helped and gided this girl. I will pray for her.

I read the 9 page “The Devil and the W.W.D.” Vanity fair article. It was very disturbing to me. And because I have been through so much of my own horror….I did have emotions for the time Bronsteins father insulted him as a child….saying they gave the prize to the wrong kid. I was incredibly angry. Why don’t people know how damaging these words can be to children.

I too have a family that insult each other for fun. My own neighbors did that too. Even with their insults….and the damage it does. My soul is with “God”! It will always be incredibly disturbing to me that someone chooses to go against God….and hurt other people. And so many people do it. I hope that people realize that even the small insults matter!

I have been so upset lately….I am having a very difficult time with all of what has happened to me. my weeks are about work and work and work to pay off legal debts and come home and work on fighting this case in court and writing letters to judges and prosecutors and senators….and hopefully in the long term I will emerge from this “out of debt…with good credit again….and maybe a law or two changed for the sake of the victims. I do like the 3-strike law….although my P has already 4 strikes and only 6 months in county prison….

In two weeks we go back to court again….I though he was going to be sentenced on Fri 6-13-08….No chance….I was called on Thurs 6-12 at 3:30 pm by the assistant prosecutor Hoerner…His attorney filed for a new hearing to submit evidence that he lost $500,000. in one casino. It is most likely a Win-Loss statement. The hearing is in a couple of weeks from now.

Back in Dec of 04 when I went to the prosecutors office I explained everything I knew about Dennis. His gambling habbits included. When I first met him he came to me as a client at the spa I worked at. He was very nice and personable and a “Big” tipper. He was always comped for two hour massages and he always gave the girl/guy therapist a $100 bill as a tip. I was his therapist for maybe a month before he started to ask me to dinner. I wasn’t at all atracted to him physically in the begining. It was no love at first sight for that matter. He was just so kind and gentle and seemingly honest. When I would see that he had requested me as a client I couldn’t wait to see him and get to talk to him. He was that wonderful. I didn’t have seniority at my job so I was always last on the totem pole. Which meant I got the crumbs unless I got requested.

In the summer when it was busy….I made up to $1000/weekend. Sometimes alot more. But by Sept into Oct the Casino slowed down back in 2001…before all of the reconstruction of A.C. and I would be lucky if I made $100 on a saturday and Dennis being my only client because everyone else came before me and as I said I picked up the crumbs. People who were glad to give you their days in the summer wouldn’t dare give it up in the fall and winter.

So It took a couple of months before I went to Dinner with Dennis. He knew I had a house I was reconstructing…He knew I had money. He convinced me that he was a beautiful kind and wealthy person. He convinced me that he cared about my daughter…he even took her and her girlfriends to lavish dinners. Then he took her to the movies and asked me if it could be alone so he could bond like a father. And I fell for it. I didn’t know he was a sick person then…I didn’t know he was lying to me. Do you know that the most disturbing thing to me is that my daughter doesn’t even remember him! She was 9 years old when she met him. When she saw him in court last year…she said she couldn’t remember him at all…she spent “bonding” time with him. He came to holiday events and parades with us…he bought us to dinners….he had her even climb through my mothers window so he could get a watch shipment for him. She can’t recall any of it! I am so disturbed by this. If I ever find out that he did something to her I don’t know what I will do!!!!!

Ya know someone I recently befriend and told my story to…also explaining how Dennis went to Church every Sunday and she said….she thinks she would have to get the mob after him. My mind went through all of this, believe me….I wanted to cut off all of his fingers…she was so funny she said…..well I guess he couldn’t put the dice in the little hole or play cards anymore….and we both laughed….and than she said and your Catholic too….you could go to confession! it made me laugh so hard I almost pee-d myself! But than she realized that, just as I do, it is not the right thing to do! Because only P’s would do that and that would be lowering yourself to their level.

So I turned to the law only to find it flawed in many ways! You can imagine why! Noone will really ever know. Occassionally we get a glimpse why!

So I turn to God and I pray and I wait….and sometimes I see God’s work in all of this….and I am praying heavily right now….and staying clear and positive. But I know God’s wrath is “Great”. Dennis will receive it!

I told the prosecutors office back in 2004/05 how Dennis would play blackjack at the Tropicana. He would win 8 or 9 times before he lost once. His average win would be $2500 and he played every day when I first met him. And he would come for massages with me. I would come in on my days off to do a 2 hour massage for Dennis…and he was a big comp player. He told me he owned all this realestate and that he was a big realestate investor. That he owned two apartment buildings and 3 homes and two condos. It was all a lie…Unless he is somehow connected to this Andrew Ross Group…which I believe may be they are a holding company for Dennis assets…Dennis owns nothing! Especially now after he has refinanced and gone bankrupt!

However, getting back to the point of going to the prosecutors with his gambling habbits…if he won 8 times $2500 that equals $20,000 and he still has his original $10,000. which he would loose the next time which still left him up $10,000. He told me himself that he could not make more than $4000 per day because he would have to claim that on his taxes. That it was completely legal because the casino did not have to regester a win at the table under $4000. It was the rules. I though what a great gig! This guy is making money nobody knows about….little did I know he could now use his losses to show that he is broke and after stealing from me bring this Win-loss statement to court. And make good on his promise to me that “I will get nothing”!

I am so hurt! Because I know in my deepest of deep that he has money hidden! He was giving his x wife $3-5000/month for years and his x finace wrote that in an affadavit. For all the 11 1/2 years she knew him….if that is the case than the years after he stole my money he gave her close to if not more than$300,000. That means he is a liar!

And there is more….More casino’s he played at…..and there is what you call a rating tally that all the casino’s do with players….which would show everytime he sat down at a table and gambled it is for rating play for comps. It shows how many hours you played and your average bet….Dennis played every day for 2-3 hours. If he lost $500,000 over 5 years in $10,000 incriments that means he lost 50 times….he played every day and he won many times….I know he is a wealthy man! He shows people what he wants them to see….and if that Andrew Ross Group or his X-wife were audited you might find some money there! That is what my gut tells me!

Ox Drover

Dear Trish,

Knowing the truth and being able to “prove it” with both hands legally tied is quite frustrating. The vandalizm that the Trojan Horse P did last summer that I have only recently discovered the cause of total engine lock up in 3 engines on equipment at my place (including an aircraft) and KNOWING he did it, and yet not even having a snow balls chance in hades to prove it is frustrating beyond belief, but you know, it is only STUFF, my sons C and D and I have our LIVES. He didn’t take away anything of any REAL VALUE.

I will not let it ruin my life, heart, mind, soul or fill me with bitterness again. There is nothing I can DO about it, it is done. It is a fact. Last night I read the book of Job, and how Job, though losing everything in his life, and even his health, and literally wanting to die, still kept his faith in God. “If we take the good, who are we to not accept also the bad” (paraphrased) As far as I am concerned the good outweighs the bad, I am blessed—especially blessed to have survived the last encounter with the P-son and the Trojan Horse P.

The gal who wanted me to take her little dog because she couldn’t afford to feed him or get him medicines or flea spray, SHE’s the one that’s got it hard. She has so little, and yet she shared the last of her food with me, I can’t keep from tearing up when I think about it, and how blessed by comparison I am. Both of her sons are Ps, both her x-husbands, and she is barely surviving, and yet she told me “No, I don’t want help, I’ll do it on my own”–that is bravery, courage, and a woman I admire. She knows I will help her if she needs it and gets to where she can’t make it on her own, but lending a helping hand to someone who IS TRYING to be responsible for themselves, not whining and blaming others, is the LEAST I could do as a human being, one who IS SO BLESSED. I’m no fool, and I won’t ENABLE someone, I won’t “take them to raise” when they won’t help themselves, but if someone is doing the best that they can and still needs a helping hand, I’ll stick mine out if I can.

It is little enough to repay the people who have stuck their hands out to me when I couldn’t get up on my own.

God bless you Trish, and I hope your P gets his justice now, but if he doesn’t get it now, I know it WILL COME. (((hugs))))


I have a pretty good idea why he might have said that (about not getting out). I didn’t read the Vanity Fair article, so I don’t know if this is in there or not, but I do recall that when he was captured, he told the cops he’d been working on his memoirs while he was on the lam, and did they think he had a movie sale here? The guy’s addicted to publicity and the daily press has turned away from him–he’s in withdrawal and needs more more more limelight. If he says off the wall stuff like this, he gets back into the news. What a creep.


Once the mask slips the psychos true nature is revealed to everyone and then at least there is the possibility that they can be incarcerated or at least exposed as a threat. What scares me is all the ones who have not reached that point and a quietly flying under the radar destroying lives as they go.
Mine is still free, lying his head off and probably conning someone else now. It sounds awaful but I wish something would really trigger him off and he would bring about his own downfall. Unfortunately, that would probably mean that someone else got seriously hurt too.
How frustrating it all is.


Honeybear said:

My exH seemed to become more and more blatant in his issues with people and in his affairs as he approached 60. While I suspected for years that he might be having affairs, he was incredibly good at covering AND at convincing me that it was my jealousy, not his philandering, that was the real problem and that this string of women in our life together were simply “good friends”.

That was exactly what my sociopath was like. He is 53 now and his health is not the best with his diabetes, etc.
He tried to convince me that the mothers of his godchildren were just friends and nothing else. I found out that he took one of them on a family cruise a couple of years ago. He tried to convince me that I was just insecure and their was no reason for me to be jealous of these women.

These men lie so convincingly that they have no concept of what is the truth anymore. Mine used his grand-children as an excuse to spend time with other women. Anyone or anything was fair game. I wish that his mask could be removed and his evil exposed for all to see.


I actually liked my psycho before his mask came off. When the mask came off-it was total confusion and the dichotomies were too overwhelming for me. It was also a big, big, bummer for me when the mask came off. I was totally disappointed that I had hooked up and started a family with a psycho. It didn’t help my dissapointment that psychos are incurable either. The list goes on and on with my disappointment once the mask came off.

I think it is interesting that Braunstein said that he has “no desire for rehabilitation”. Do you really think that a psycho, somewhere in the depths of his soul, really has a core truth? I don’t know. When I was watching my psycho go through his dichotomies, I really couldn’t tell which one was his truth. Or if any of it was.

“Do what you say and say what you do”, just does not ring true for psychos. I wouldn’t trust what Braunstein says on anything. Even on his promises of a “homicidal rampage”. Unless, psychos really do have a core truth somewhere.


It has been stated more then once that sociopaths get worst as they age. Aging changes everyone but I believe that a group of (sociopathic) these people find that the changes accruing in this natural aging process is unbearable. As we all will experience our recourses are not as great, friends and love ones die and job promotion slow down. This is just the natural process of each person’s life. But for the sociopathic person. It bring about great changes like those and only those that they fear (they confuse fear with love) which can be a parent or some other authority figure dies. They aren’t afraid to show what they really are. No longer in fear of losing that person’s support. If they lose a job, they may find it hard because of past job history a very hard time finding another one. If they (again) go thru a divorce, this time it (because of again finding it harder and harder to find a replacement) will cause them major depression. Because they lived a lifetime of denial and lies. Many of their memory of what “really” happen will be hazy at best. Putting one’s self on a high place (a persistent pattern of grandiosity) also allow this same person to fall and when fallen hit reality hard. Many of them will experience chronic depression. So I do believe as they age, things don’t be better, which they all believe. No things will be worst then even we can envisage.

I do believe that this “mask” of their reality come to a quick end. Which leave them to understand it and live with the “true” reality of there life choices..

“Oh what a tangle web we weave when first we learn to deceive”

Ox Drover

James, you are right there, about how they go through the early opportunities that they had with charm, looks, etc. that eventually fade away so that they have less opportunity to scam etc.

Dr. Robert Hare says that as they reach middle age (as a group) their criminal activity (after all he was studying Ps that were all criminals in prison) slows down and becomes less violent. That of course is not always true with individual Ps.

I do think though that some of them do seem to “llike” prison life and I would surmise that the constant “risk taking” in prison, the structure in which they don’t have to come up with a place to live and provide for themselves becomes a way of life that is at least “secure” and predictable. They learn to “get along” in prison with their peers, the guards, they establish a pattern and the ANXIETY of getting out doesn’t have to be faced.

Someone once told me that the MOST SECURE individual in the world is the inmate on death row who knows the exact date of his death. There is no “worry” about what tomorrow will bring, you know EXACTLY what it will bring. You know what to EXPECT.

Another poster put up that he made the comment about not wanting rehabilitation and would go on a murderous rampage to get press coverage, which I think is most probably true. It would get him ATTENTION, and most likely as well keep him inside where he didn’t have to have any ANXIETY about his life.

Life is “boring” for “squares” the P thinks. Just getting up and going to work, coming home, and repeating it day after day is NOT what they want from life. Where are the THRILLS? Where is the FUN? Where are the RISKS? The mundane tasks we all do each day, doing the dishes, doing the laundry, paying our bills—HOW BORRRRING life is for us! They are above all that, they want to “live life in the fast lane” without boredom.

Personally, “boredom” is GOOD–it means there is no threat to my world, that things are running smoothly! I’ll take boredom any day over “excitement.” LOL

Any day my name isn’t in the “National Enquirer” is a GOOD day!

the S moved back to down after being gone for three months. I saw him about 3 times when he first got back. I knew it was a matter of time before he started going to my gym, the one I took him to when we were together. It’s a great gym…but he knows I work out there. He came in there yesterday. I saw him, and I know he saw me, but he would not look at me, which I am glad. all those feelings of hate and anger came back. I pray that he will not come back. I cant believe that after a YEAR, I still have to deal with this. It is just not right that he can lie about HIV, expose me, get away with it, walk away as if nothing happened, and then frequent the places I go. There has got to be an end to this somewhere, but how? I cant do anything about it at this point. Anything I do know just makes me look like the crazy one, or the one whos still hung up on him. I DO NOT feel hurt when I see him, let me get that cleared up. It is a feeling that I really cannot describe. Tingling, short of breath, adrenalilne, combative mode. That’s what I feel.


It appears to me that even when the mask has slipped the psychopath may not be completely exposed. Scott Peterson is a perfect example. He has been convicted of murdering his wife Lacey and unborn son Conner and yet family is adamant in professing his innocence. I believe he has a website and is contemplating writing a book about this experience. Also, he receives hundreds of letters from women who are captivated by his persona. His ability to indirectly influence hundreds of women speaks to the unearthly power of a psychopath. The mask slipping is sometimes only a temporary set-back for these creatures.
I do agree that aging is a problem for the psychopath. Aging is the great equalizer because it cannot be stopped and it misses noone, not even the psychopath. Because they have held theirselves in such high regard, aging is a taste of reality that they find difficult to accept. Stripped of their youthful looks and tight bodies (tools used to seduce and delude) psychopaths find it more difficult to secure victims and use the “magic” that once flawlessly worked for them. I also think that the aging psychopath must play to a different crowd than the crowd of his youth. The aging psychopath finds himself now having to deal with individuals who are in the same age group, have lived and experienced life and are a little more savvy than the youth of his past. Of course, the psychopath can still seduce but the pool of potential prey begins to evaporate with his aging. Young people, especially females, are not readily accessible or desirous of a male with thinning hair and a ponchy belly who resemble Grandpa. Family and friends by now know his pathology, even if they cannot put a diagnosis on it, they know he is bad news and stay away.
I also believe that the psychopath, just like us, finds his energy level declining making it increasingly difficult to sustain an image of virility and youth. Often they become pre-occupied with health concerns such as blood pressure, high cholestrol etc. and focus of the physical ailments that can come with age. Physical ailments related to the aging process are a distinct dose of reality for the psychopath. This is the one area of vulnerability for the psychopath because he cannot control the process. He can be medicated, watch his diet, exercise, etc. but he will still have the diagnosis.
The N/P/S I was involved with was diagnosed with these two maladies and it drove him crazy. I would get daily, sometimes hourly reports on his blood pressure. I am not kidding. If he didn’t call, he would send my the report via email. It was unbelievable. It was a constant cause for concern with him. I was thankful he did not have an at home cholestrol kit, because I am sure he would have reported those readings to me also. He was unable to will his blood pressure to a normal reading. He could not make his blood pressure respond to his command. It was out of his control and we know control is the optimum word here.
The aging process may be the first time the psychopath has had to face an uncontrollable entity. Aging maybe the Achilles’ heal of the psychopath and the catalyst for peeling back the mask.


When the mask slipped from my husband and the man who pretended to be my friend, I was devastated. I suspected all along they just weren’t who they said they were, but I, too, kept denying it. It’s taken me a long time to finally accept that I was right. I didn’t want to be right. I wanted them to be the one they led me to believe. When my husband threw me away,so to speak, this man was there to pick up the pieces. So I thought. All he did was take a broken heart and break it even more.

I asked my ex friend if he realized that he was writing his own eulogy by the way he lived. What will his “best buds” say about him? I don’t think they care. They have their own agenda and pity the person who tries to deter them. I didn’t say what I was thinking until his masked slipped. Now that I see him for who he is, I’ve let him know that I know. Not that it matters to him, but he presented such a false front to me. I want him to know that I checked him out and most of what he told me were lies. Had I not been so broken by my husband, I never would have fallen for his flattering lies.

I have to say, I miss the person I met. But maybe what I really miss is the idea of having a relationship. Aside from having someone to share with, what can they do for me that I can’t do for myself? I don’t want to go through life this helpless woman, who needs a man to do her thinking for her. It’s important for me to figure it out,too. That way, I can be fulfilled. I don’t need a man for me to prove my womanhood. I know who and what I am. That makes those who don’t know, uncomfortable.

I passed through the anger, resentment, bitterness stages when the mask slipped. Now I have sadness for the innocence I lost, but that too shall pass. I will be on the other side of all that disillusionment, and finally accept the turn of events and know that I can’t change anyone but me.

Ox Drover


Him coming there where he is pretty sure you will show up is just another way to torture you.

The feeling you described is definitely “something” going on, anxiety?, fear?, …I can’t put a name to it, ONLY YOU can put a name to this feeling…it is obviously uncomfortable to you.

Maybe if you just workk out at home for a while, surely he won’t come THERE?

I know it is disconcerting to see them. My XBF-P showed up at a weekly auction I sometimes attend, FAR from his home town, and close to mine–very unexpectedly–and it upset me because I didn’t expect him to show up there. If I go to a living history event, I know he might be there so if he shows up I am not “blind sided.” I reacted quite angry the last time I saw him –at the auction. It startled me I think was the thing.

Personally I think your X did it deliberately to make you uncomfortable by invading your space. Mine wasn’t sure I was there that week, but he sure DID invade “My” space even though it was a public place.

Good luck and hugs!

I will NOT workout at home or anywhere else but the SAME gym I have been going to for the past 10 years. I will not allow myself to change that because of him. Hell will freez over first.

Ox Drover

Dear Dodged,

I hear what I think is your anger, and I definitely understand why you would be angry at him for “invading your space” and I don’t doubt for one second that he INTENDED to invade your space. That’s what they do. If standing your ground on your own turf makes you feel better, more powerful, I say GO FOR IT.

I’m facing the Trojan HOrse P in court today (my mom is suing him for the fraudulent “loan” that he got h er to give him to buy a vehicle and to NOT put her name on the title as lien holder) So I too am standing my ground, and over all I am not too anxious about facing him down–I know it will be a 3-ring-circus if he does show up (and I think he will be there as the court date hasn’t been canceled and supposedly the prison does transport them for this kind of thing) and I will probably be frustrated and angry by the time it is over, but I am doing my best to stand FIRM and no matter what, I will comport myself appropriately for the situation. He, on the other hand, I am sure will appear to be the slime bag he is, but he will NOT GET IT. LOL

POWER! Let’s use it! It’s ours!


Good luck today, Ox Driver. My prayers go with you.


Dear OxyD. Hope all goes well in court today. We are thinking about you and pray that justice will prevail. (((hugs)))


I hope it all goes well. If anyone can handle it, I am convinced it’s you.

The other question I had about this guy Braunstein is that I have never heard of a sociopath being into self-injury. Is this common? Was there another mental illness going on or is it characteristic of sociopathology?

Ox Drover

Hi, Gang, thanks for the good wishes. The JUDGE didn’t show up today so it is postponed until August 20th. The Trojan Horse sent a proof that he was incarcerated and “couldn’t come” –which actually is only partly true, he is incarcerated, but if the judge writes and order he could come, but he did not request one.

The court clerk is a friend of mine and she suggested that I write a letter to the judge telling him what is going on. So, I am going to do so.

I’m not sure if the judge will order him brought up for the August hearing or what, but should be able to find out something before the next day.


Slept all afternoon after I got back, as had a bee sting (I’m allergic) and have been on enough benadryl to knock and elephant out!

Sooner or later this will be over one way or another. LOL Thanks again.


BIRD you may not be familiar with my situation, but please read about BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER, I am convinced my X (P), has this disorder as well, which explains his suicide threat’s, attempt’s and the scar’s on his wrist… they define these two personality disorder’s combined as (cluster B) get richard skerrit’s book (learning from madness) it all makes so much sense,


Interesting concept about the mask slipping. I have seen my ex P’s mask removed, and it is not pretty. However, he still manages to cover up for others, still lies blatantly, and manages to project himself as EXTRA decent etc. Even with countless warnings and evidence of his wrongdoing and double dealing, mutual friends still insist that he “meant well”, etc.He is just that cool and smooth a liar. BUT, aging is taking it’s toll as he cannot always REMEMBER what he said to who and so on. What a useless grind of a life, and what a waste of a clever mind.

I am reading A New Earth by Eckhart Toll, which discusses the role of EGO in all of us, and the roles we play to protect the ego and so on. Makes fascinating and comforting reading, and I highly recommend it. As for the P, he devotes his life and manipulates the lives of those around him ONLY in service of the EGO. Perhaps the frequent stories of financial ruin that P’s devolve into (bankruptcy) is ultimately a reflection of the bankrupt nature at their core.

As much as we all have healing to do, and many of us messes to clean up and lives to restore, at least we are not them.

Peace to all.


To all who are here,
If any of you ever had a normal relationship, were any of them traditionalists? I’m a traditionalist by nature, but I’ve met very few men who are and none with whom I’d want to start traditions. My husband was with his real family, but as far as me and the children were concerned, he was there, but his heart and mind were elsewhere. I sometimes feel I have to reprogram myself to become accustomed to the man, and I rebel. I don’t mind some changes, but to throw out everything that is me, just to satisfy the man to keep him around, is something I just won’t do.

I don’t think I’ll ever adjust my thinking to adhere to their convoluted thinking, just to stay together. I think, too, because I’ve had so many years prior to this web site and being able to share with a few others, it’s going to take me an inordinate amount of time to fully come to grips with it all. As each one here shares bits and pieces of their lives, I see my disordered life. It makes sense now, but I have to have closure and it sure takes time. And I’m still trapped, legally, until we can sell the house and I can finally be free. The housing market is in a slump right now, and I could scream with frustration. I just want my own place. I don’t want to ever have my name on a piece of legal paper with another man, unless it’s his life insurance policy and I’m the main beneficiary! Maybe if I had a lobotomy to remove that portion of my memory, I could breathe a sigh of relief! But that’s too risky, so I’ll suffer along with so many more. At least I have the sense to run. Finally. And if any of them want to call me crazy, I say have at it. I’ll just bide my time and we’ll see.


omg…while I was still in it with the S, I, too, considered a lobotomy.

It just came to me out of the blue while watching a movie with him at the theater.

I instinctively knew that this break up – and recovery – was going to be different than any other. I felt like it would be going through a cold-turkey withdrawal and I’ve never been an addict of anything. Now, of course, I know how an addict is so trapped by his addiction.

A lobotomy was the one painless way I knew that would, in one stroke, eliminate all trace of this relationship, but even then, I knew it was a fantasy, not a viable option.

For me to learn the inherent lessons (just as much about myself as the sociopaths to whom I’m apparently vulnerable) I couldn’t take the easy way out with a lobotomy. I’d have to do it the hard way and start looking at my past and the way it has influenced the way I interact now.

Thanks for mentioning this commonality, Apt/Mgr. I’ve said it before, but you all are my “peeps.” We share such a common and profound link. Even though I’ve pretty much recovered, I like to come here to this site. It’s like continuing education.


I wished at times, too, that I could have instant, selective, amnesia. That way I wouldn’t remember the good or the bad about them. What makes all this so difficult for me, is that I committed my heart for all time. We have to be somewhere in life, and I had no problem being where I was. I still can’t grasp the thinking of so many of these people and just what they are looking for and hoping to gain, by jumping from person to person and playing their games. I know they get a buzz from it but I wish they would talk and say why they do it. It wouldn’t even be so bad if they didn’t charm and seduce. But if they were their real self, they’d never get a girl.

I was thinking, too, of how they could be eulogized. Not to think them dead, but when that time comes. When you know the truth of who they are, how could one speak kindly when they die? If what they do is who they are, then there’s not much to speak of. I guess it would have to be done in generic terms. He lived then he died! Forget the in-between. I sometimes wish I didn’t see so much. What couldn’t I be one of those ditzy women, who just flit? I can’t. My heart is founded on Godly principles and I always wanted what He wanted. I thought the man did too. I think that’s what has disillusioned me the most. To hear him speak the words, but do the totally opposite. Whatever. I’ll end up why-ing this to death. I have to quit. If only my thinking would.


It feels lonely when you think you’re in a relationship with someone only to find out you’re the only one in it and you’re the one left holding the bag.

I think I wouldn’t have the satisfaction of enjoying the eulogy you will. The S with whom I was involved was really loved by everyone even his ex-wife. His friends are completely loyal to him, and not just because he was a big fish in a little pond. That was definitely honey to women, but his friends really did like him and excused any naughty behavior of his. I did, too; it was easy. He was funny and easygoing and adventurous.


It is a lonely existence when you think you are both on the same page, to only find out he never left the starting gate. I think that’s what saddens me the most. We can’t reminisce about much of anything. My husband had the audacity to say that the day he got married was the happiest day of his life. What about all the 38 years after? I had lots and lots of happy days. But they were with our children. I guess it was all pretense with him. I tried to shake his tree when I wrote him a letter. He’s not someone to reason with by talking. So the pen is mightier than the sword, so they say. I wrote this big long letter trying to get him to see what the kids and I did. He just said I must have convinced myself of it all. I gave up trying.

But as for his friends and family. They all like him. But he’s nice to all of them. He will joke around with them, and the kids and I got nil. No wonder I’m so down at times. It’s so hard to stay on top, when I get inundated with memories or something will trigger one and there is a domino effect. One leads to another and before I know it, I’m missing my kids and am bawling myself to sleep. I could have gone on pretending had it not been for his incredible anger. The constant love/hate was taking it’s toll on me. My health was suffering from the stress of living that way. Truth had to come out and when it did, his anger dissolved, immediately. And, I, too, was left holding the bag. He just went his merry way and is now having the time of this life, living the way he did before he got saddled with responsibility. But I can’t honestly say he was a great husband and father. He complained bitterly about anything and everything he ever did for me. He would whistle while he worked for and with his friends and family. All I ever did for him was in vain. All those years of my life, thinking I was securing my future, too, to come to this stage in my life, at 58, and am alone. But I have peace. No more screaming and complaining. I miss intimacy and sex, but not the price I had to pay for it. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to trust another man, to enjoy the pleasures of life I thought were mine.


I saw my X-P’s mask slip the day I found out about his duplicity. I’m so grateful he was in prison and behind a glass barrier at the time.

He didn’t see me at first and I remember how it hurt my heart to see the eager loving look he gave his wife (the woman he had conned into marrying him while he was with me). He’d always looked at me that way and just the week before I’d received an email from him saying he loved me.

Then he looked up and saw me. I could see all his emotions and thoughts flit across his face – shock, anger, calculation – I swear I could see the exact instant when he decided how to react. He went on the attack, shouting at me to get out. Then he concentrated on his wife. He knew she was the softer target because by then I was shouting back at him in anger (and a little fear).

He stared into her eyes as if trying to hypnotise her and kept telling her to call a guard to “get this woman out of here”.

For months I had been the love of his life, the reason he worked so hard, the best thing that had ever happened to him and the most amazing person he knew. Suddenly now I was “this woman”.

He was so convincing that for a moment I actually felt guilty, like I wasn’t supposed to be there and I was the one in the wrong. It was only by reminding myself that I hadn’t imagined our relationship that I could regain my anger.

His wife’s sister contacted me via email this week and she is spitting mad. Her sister is struggling to cope so she’s handling as much of the practical stuff as she can. The sister asked me to give her whatever information I have, which I will gladly do. He’s left a trail of angry, hurt and baffled people in his wake.

I intend writing to the parole board to tell them what I know and oppose any parole applications as strenuously as I can. Even though I am exhausted all the time and as recently as last night I felt so beaten down that I didn’t know how I was going to continue, I know that I have to persevere. I cannot ever give him the satisfaction of breaking me.

This site has helped more than I ever dreamt it could. I can come here and offload and no one judges me or even worse, pities me. Thank you, all of you, for being the amazing, brave, kind, generous people you are.

Used Brauer

Gosh! The more I read from all of you, the more I realize that I was married to a sociopath on STEROIDS! I think he had a 24-hr. operation going. Do they really experience that much boredom? And what does “boredom” mean to you and me verses a sociopath?

My ex would get up every morning to get into work an hour early (only he and a female office clerk were at the family business that early in the day). He had to be constantly on the go. Never time spent at home. He would even wait until he thought I was asleep and get out of bed to get on the computer. I found out later that he was on lots of different dating websites.

He kept “hanging on” to an ex-girlfriend whom he swore was “just a friend”. He would call her during the day. He would ask me to invite her to dinner (I didn’t!). We would “just happen” to show up at the same restaurant she and her husband were at. He even called her from our honeymoon in Maui! She is a veterinarian and he said that he was staying friends with her because he got free care for his dogs. He later admitted to me, after we saw a movie where the actor was “admitting” to his discrepancies, that she was his “booty-call” girlfriend. (I suppose he was thinking I would let it go like the girl in the movie.) This is a woman who clearly doesn’t take care of her body and always appears to “need a shower”. And she just happened to be a friend of his first wife who committed suicide. They worked at the same office.

We would go shopping at the mall and he would flirt with every female behind the counter of every store we visited. He would flirt with gay men. He copied everyone. If some guy he worked with wanted to buy a new car, he also wanted the same car. When we scheduled our honeymoon he decided to take a surfing lesson. He emailed the instructor and (via a bio) discovered that the instructor was a Big Brother. Steve (ex) suddenly announced that he would be a Big Brother too! Of course he never pursued the idea. I thought he was crazy!

When we moved in together he had pictures of other women, clothes, jewelry and just about anything else you can imagine strewn all over the house. It was like he kept it all out for me to see. I got very upset and MADE him get it out of the bedroom. He carried out 5 large black garbage bags from that one room alone. He also had a boat in the basement that he got from an ex-girlfriend. Of course he lied to me about that too until I found the papers on it.

Every time he would introduce me to a family member or a coworker (he really had no male friends), he would tell me some sort of “trash” about them first. One coworker’s wife was a drunk and ran into someone’s house with her car, his brother stole the company business from his siblings, a co-worker stole his friend’s girlfriend, his sister-in-law was a Bitch, his mother was mean and I would find out one day soon (true), his sister stole money from the company business (but don’t tell her daugher!)…on and on!

Can you imagine what I went into this thinking about those people? “My poor husband! What he must have been going through!” Exactly what he wanted me to think. He warned me about everyone but HIM. I’m sure he told them the same stories about me because they didn’t like me at all. They didn’t even know me.

It always seemed that he never had an original idea. I learned that every time he dated someone he took them on a trip. Everyone got a trip.

I kept wondering why he wanted to marry me. The women he was with previously appeared to be women who would be “grateful” to have a date PERIOD. He was handsome, his family had lots of money and the matches just didn’t fit.

I am very settled, quiet and I love to be a homemaker. I’m a great cook. I’m the type of person who is very thoughtful in areas where others aren’t. I’ve always been like that. When we met, I had a great job, had been single for 17 years, new car, great condo and I wasn’t desperate for dates. I had dated lots of great guys and my relationships didn’t end with “someone having to die”.

In hindsight, I”m wondering why, when he already had a 24-hour operation going with another life, he wanted to marry me! Why would he drag me into a life that already appeared to be full (albeit strange)? He has high blood pressure and E.D. He takes some strange RX that he orders from the Internet just to have sex. He didn’t take that after we were married. Why do they cheat when they have ED?

Between MY misunderstandings and all the questions he never bothered to answer, he was perfectly charming, very polite, dressed perfectly and constantly kept the cars washed. Everything was perfect from an outsider’s perspective.

I know sociopaths have no regard for anyone, they don’t plan anything and all the other traits. Apparently their minds must run at 100 mph. He went to a great deal of trouble to get me when he could have satisfied his evil lifestyle in his own backyard.

I’ve read where the older they get, the less successful they are. This guy has been lucky though. His family will always write enough checks to bail him out.

He ruined me financially and I’m starting over again in an apartment and a cheap automobile but I think the part that makes me so angry is that I saw what the first wife endured, I know why she committed suicide and I’m very angry that he wanted me to die too.

You get a different perspective when you realize something like that. It’s a very bad feeling that you don’t forget. Kind of like the moments just before a bad accident. You go from a feeling of safe and calm one minute to intense pain, injury and shock the next. Every day you awake asking yourself “how could this have happened?”

I want to move one and forget this but it is the hardest thing I have ever done.

Ox Drover

Dear UB,

My X-BF wanted a “respectable wife” to keep his harem of affairs GFs in line so he could say “no, I cna’t leave my wife and marry you”—his respectable wife of 32 years had FINALLY caught him de facto in bed with another woman and kicked him out. Only a few months after that he came after me and I was a lonely widow and I fell for it hook line and sinker, but thank God I caught on before I actually married him! But it hurt so bad to kick my dreams to the curb of another great relationship and he was “fun” at first.

I have a friend who got involved with one that had ED and she loved him and didn’t care, but he wanted all kinds of “kinky”sex, 3 somes etc, anything to try to spark his ability to convince himself he was a stud. She finally kicked him to the curb but it has taken her a long time to start to recover. She was CRUSHED, her dream of a loving, professional and personal relationship with this man was trashed. She had invested so much in the relationship in love and care and he had invested NOTHING, she was like used toilet paper to him. She was professionally and personally humiliated and crushed.

At least professionally their peers are catching on to his psychopathic and disrespectful behavior and he is being shunned from professional organizations now, and she continues to be well respected world wide. It has been a long difficult road for her though. As it has for us all.

I think the looking for exciement is sometimes an addiction with them. The very bright ones seem to be always looking for a fix, a new scheme, a new con, a new thrill, like “life” in general bores them. I’m bright and I like “new” things, but I get my thrills from a new hobby, learning a new skill, reading and learning new things, seeing new places, not inflicting new con games on new people and then discarding those people like trash. I confine my “thrills” to things that are positive and things that are interesting to me, and obviously to them the things that are “interesting” and “positive” for THEM are NEGATIVE for others.

All peoople in my experience spend their time doing what gives them positive feed back. You spend your money and your time doing what you LIKE to do. Seldom do you buy a bass boat to fish if you don’t like to fish. Or golf clubs if you don’t play golf. That makes sense.

You spend your money and your time on things that YOU consider a priority. I used to get irritated with parents who brought children to the clinic without insurance, yet I knew these same people who said they “couldn’t afford” health insurance HAD A $30,000 BASS BOAT in their yard. They spent their money on the things that were more important to them. Health care for their children was less of a priority than a bass boat to go fishing with.

Psychopaths set their priorities just like we do, on the things that THEY get positive feed back from. Sex, conning people, risk taking, lying and getting away with it, abuse of all kinds because they want what they want and when they want it, no matter what the consequences to OTHERS ARE.

As a parent, I put more priority on my children’s health care than on my own hobbies. That is because I cared about my children more than owning whatever hobby equipment I would have enjoyed. Maybe these parents weren’t psychopaths but they were in my opinion pretty unwise and narcissistic about their own WANTS before what I consider a NEED, but they obviously did NOT consider a NEED.

And yes, they will tell you stories about other’s bad behaviors so you won’t believe a word that person might say about them, and vice versa, they will tell that other person bad stories about you so that if you tell anything bad about the P the other person will be prepped to not believe you. They are mean, but they are not stupid. They have learned how to play the game and “clean up in front” of problems. My own little P-son darling told my mother awful things about me, and me awful things about her to prep the scene for his final assault.

It was only by the Grace of God that I survived, and for that I am grateful. Learning to spot them and realizing completely what they are capable of is our only defense from future attacks. Healing our own wounds and resolviing the bitterness is the only way we can come out on “top” no matter what they have cost us for these lessons. I actually think the price in the end will be well worth it—it is only STUFF after all and stuff is not what makes me happy or peaceful. Right this minute I am angry and resentful after my contact yesterday with my DIL and my enabling mother, but it will pass, and I will return to peace again and there will be no more contact for any reason, unless it is to protest the parole of the Trojan horse P next year when he comes up again.

Used Brauer

Thanks Ox-D,

You’re a better woman than me! I could not tolerate contact with this man ever again.

At least I was able to walk away, move 150 miles to another town and was welcomed by my old friends and family. I never have to see or deal with this guy again (unless I’m called to testify in court one day) except in my nightmares.

God has taken care of me in many ways. My lesson from this is to stick to the standards I have for myself and follow my instincts better. When something doesn’t feel right then it isn’t right for me. Simple as that.


this is off topic, BUT I am so happy that judge Judy knows about sociopaths…

Ox Drover

In addition to the “sameness” of the psychopaths, I’ve noticed that there are some similarities in US as well.

In re-reading through the Bible “stories:” of Joseph, testing his brothers before revealing himself to them to see what kind of men they were, of King David dealing with King Saul stalking him and intending to kill him, of David enabling his own psychopathic son Absalom, of Jezebel, and so many of the other psychopaths described in the Bible, I think of Eve.

I have read where Eve, even a mythological one if not a literal one, became “fully human” when she discovered the differences between GOOD and EVIL. Chimps and other of the great apes have a society, but they are not fully human because they can’t truly recognize the differences between good and evil. They cooperate and reciprocate with each other, but out of fear of revenge rather than a loving and giving motive.

When I was younger and read about Eve I always felt God wasn’t fair to her, because, not knowing good from evil, how could she have even realized that Satan was telling a lie? Satan, the prototype psychopath, had nothing to gain from her down fall except the satisfaction of causing it, of seeing her suffer, of taking away her earthly paradise.

He held out to Eve the mirror of her desires, in fact, he incited her desires by telling her how god-like she would be and how jealous God was being and how God was keeping the “good stuff” for himself.

How many of us have put aside our own knowledge of good and evil to reach our hands out toward the false “prize” that the psychopath held out to us?

Unlike our Mother Eve, we do have the knowledge of good and evil. We are fully functioning human beings with free and informed choices if we choose to exercise them.

Eve was commanded by God to blindly obey, not to understand, just blindly obey. She, without the knowledge of good and evil, succumbed to the temptations of the greed of wanting something more than she had, of becoming god-like in herself. We, on the other hand, aspire to grasp the prizes held out to us by the psychopaths, the deputies of Satan.

In our losses of our internal paradises, and our temporary sojourns in “hell-on-earth” I think we too can gain a certain knowledge of GOOD and EVIL, if we use the opportunity we have been given for garnering this information. I think our own temporary loss of sight of the knowledge of Good and EVil allows us to be conned, just as Mother Eve was conned, by the psychopaths. I think the psychopaths, just as Satan told God when God asked him where he had been and he replied, “going to and fro about the earth”–I think they go to and fro until they chance upon one of us who have in our own minds forgotten or put aside our own knowledge of good and evil, and they take the opportunity to use that to persuade us that they can give us heaven on earth with their love, just as Satan convinced Eve she would be god-like if she only grasped the fruit.

The lessons learned by us, as victims, that there IS GOOD and there IS EVIL, will never be forgotten. Learning by hard experience may be the most painful way to learn, but the lessons are never forgotten. My own arrogance, my own feeling of being “in control” of my own destiny, when I was anything BUT “in control”–my own desires to ignore the EVIL I deep down truly knew was there, my own naivete that I was powerful enough to play with fire and not get burned, all these contributed to my own down fall and having to RELEARN the “knowledge of good and evil” from painful personal experience, just as our Mother Eve did.

Along with the Knowledge of Good and EVil, God gave us FREE WILL, we can choose our paths and go toward the “righteous road” as Wini says, or we can chose to go toward the “Dark Side” like Darth Vadar…I chose the righteous road, and I pray that God will help me keep my feet on the path and I will never forget my lesson, my painfully learned lesson in the Knowledge of Good and Evil.


Now we know why women’s high-fashion is so disgusting and why our teenagers have clothes marketed to them that ‘out tramp’ the streetwalkers. At least one known psycho was in charge of manipulating that fashion marketing system. Fortunately few real women wear the outlandish creations presented and marketed by people like this sad freak.

How revealing! (pun intended)


I don’t believe for a second that he likes being in prison. I think it is all macho bluffing. He would like to know that others fear him or at least react to him and what better way than to make a statement that sounds scary to a normal person.

I think it shows that he has the intense need to feel powerful and in control. Pretending that he is where he wants to be allows him to maintain that delusion in his own mind.

Maybe he is fooling others by saying this, but I think he is mostly trying to fool himself.


Still, a lot of weirdos and psychopaths do very well in prison. Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy, Jeffrey Dahmer, model prisoners all. Maybe because the reins are finally taken out of their hands. However, I think they still use the prison, as well as any other misfortunes they might have, to get pity and support from people.

My ex-bf used his kidney disease to get more tolerance and support from women. The first thing he did when I broke up with him was go home, throw out all his meds and make a big scene so that his daughter would freak out and call me, which she did. In fact she freaked out so bad one of the other women called me.


There is another manifestation of pathological evil, where the victims are innocents who will never have a voice, even when fully grown up. It is truly up to others to speak up for them.

Here is a verdict in which justice, to the extent that the law allows, was served.

The hero that first went in and started rescuing the hundreds of starving horses horses wrote the following. He nailed the ego of the pathological:

Of all the scenes from hell through which I have walked, those from the Three Strikes Ranch were undoubtedly the worst. I haven’t said much about it, for the specific reason that Meduna’s fans and supporters were wanting anything they could find to hang me. To them I was the villain, the intruder, the ultimate bad guy and had it not been for me, their idol would never have fallen.

I received three calls in the middle of the night, all letting me know the jury’s decision. There was a joy, a celebration of good over evil, a strong sense of justice and a stamp of validity for all we have been through and our decisions to make it right for those horses, no matter what.

In the end, 220 horses, donkeys and mules walked out of that place, some giving birth within minutes of leaving. Left behind were an unknown number of once beautiful animals, now nothing more than bones and tufts of hair. Two of those, Voodoo and Itchy, are still at the ranch, both now fat and healthy once again.

Jason Meduna lost. His stupidity, his arrogance. his threats and those of his friends have been proven, in court, to be worthless. To all of them, this was about EGO and SELF. It was never about a single horse. It was never about life.

To us, the vets, Jim, Hillary Wood, the Husses, to those who worked so hard at HSUS and to those rescues that took in the horses to rehab them and find them new homes, today celebrates life. Our combined measure of the value of life were measured by a court of law and found to meet the same criteria as those who wrote the laws, and one bad guy is found guilty 145 times over.

And for that, I give thanks.


Those poor animals! At least the jury made the right decision.

JAH, thanks for the good news. There is actually another terrible story behind this one.

You can find it at

This article, printed Friday, is about a speech by Ken Salazar, the U.S. Secretary of the Interior. The federal Bureau of Land Management is rounding up the wild horses, and placing them in these privately owned containment ranches. And the head of the Department of the Interior, which oversees this program is cattle rancher, and program is quite clearly to remove the horses to make more room for cattle.

If this infuriates you (as it does me), I found a site where you can join a petition to stop or radically alter this program. Here’s the location:


Oxy..I just read your above post and it was powerful and really spoke to me..

Yes, when you don’t listen to what your gut tells you .. you walk into evil.. thinking that ‘they’ have something that you want or need.

And after your suspecions of them are revealed when that mask cracks and comes off.. when they can no longer keep up the facade that they want you to see.. it is like you say to yourself that is what I always knew in the beginning.. so why am I here in the first place.
When we recognize evil intent, we need to turn away from it and that is our freewill to either stay or to go.. in staying, perhaps, it is another lesson is our awareness in our ability to descern good from evil.. to refine us further in our soul’s growth.

Your references to the Bible were great.. thanks for that…

I saw THE BOOK OF ELI last night .. I would recommend it.. as its premise is a good one..
I does drag at times and is similar to many after the last big trauma what remains.. but it has an interesting twist and is Biblical

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