When white-collar criminals commit fraud, unknowing wives are devastated

Romance scamMy ex-husband, James Montgomery, was a white-collar criminal. He pretended to be a businessman, but in reality I, and the other women from whom he took more than $1 million, were his business. Federal prosecutors couldn’t be bothered going after him.

Other white-collar criminals, who are likely sociopaths like my husband, commit fraud with their employers. This gets the attention of law enforcement. When they are prosecuted, the casualties include their wives.

In an article for the New York Times, Abby Ellin describes the devastation suffered by women who had no idea what their husbands were doing. They find that other people don’t believe that they were unaware, but I do. I know what it’s like to be conned by a sociopath.

Trust Betrayed: Wives of white-collar criminals tell their stories, on

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LL Mequon

I agree. Everyone thinks these wives are complicit. I remember reading something however, by a psychologist who worked with a lot of these women. He said “When someone has a goal of fooling you, and pursues it, they are usually successful.” That resonates with me. I ultimately found out about my ex’s embezzlement, but it was well after it had been going on. In hindsight, there were things that didn’t make sense but he—who knew exactly what was going on—was always able to come up with answers for me that were at least satisfactory. Because I was in the dark about the truth, so had no reason to suspect him.

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