Lovefraud has just posted a new True Lovefraud Story about Will Allen Jordan, a con man, bigamist and sex offender who, from our information, has returned to New Jersey and is trolling dating sites looking for his next victim.
I’ve heard a lot of stories about sociopaths, and this guy is one of the worst. He has the ability, often found in sociopathic cult leaders, to get into the minds of his victims and twist their thinking. He is frightening.
Will Allen Jordan had a criminal record in the United States, where he was born. In 1992, he seduced a British woman and left the country with her, moving to the UK. He was able to start a new life, but he didn’t change his ways.
In 2000, he met and seduced another woman, Mary Turner Thomson, convincing her that he worked for the CIA. Her story is truly harrowing, and she wrote a book about it called The Bigamist—The True Story of a Husband’s Ultimate Betrayal.
Jailed in the UK, free in the USA
In 1997, Jordan was convicted in the UK of sex offenses against a child and served time. In 2006, he was convicted of failing to register as a sex offender, bigamy and other offenses. He was released in May 2009, and deported back to the United States.
When he got here, he immediately signed up for Match.com and started trolling for new victims. He found them. I know, because I spoke to them.
Unfortunately, he’s still out there. And—get this—he doesn’t have to register as a sex offender in New Jersey. Apparently, the New Jersey Megan’s Law applies only to people who were convicted in the United States. His conviction in the United Kingdom doesn’t count.
Will Allen Jordan targets single mothers of young daughters. I hope if any of them have met him online, they Google his name and find Lovefraud.
Read the True Lovefraud Story:
Convicted sex offender and bigamist deported from the UK, returns to New Jersey
I agree with EB that using the term Cluster B is a good starting place. It gets curiosity piqued and people want to know more.
Re Teachers = I am just having a vent – teachers in my opinion get a raw deal in modern society – I get pithed off when people talk about putting more things in schools – guess who responsibility rolls down to? Teachers – yes the people who are already doing five people’s jobs all rolled into one. A friend of mine who is in primary (elementary?) regularly spends twelve hour days sorting out the social problems that her students face that prevent them from learning – things like violence in the home, alcoholism, abuse and neglect … because funding for other departments has been cut leaving her at the coal face trying to deal with everything. Maybe this is not the case in your country but it is in mine. Social welfare agencies aren’t doing their part where I live so the teachers have to pick up the slack. For her sometimes this means that she gives her lunch to students or buys fruit to share with the class out of her own money so she can be sure they have enough brain fuel to get through the day. It’s sad and wrong but at least she’s trying her best to help out. I feel very bad for her. I asked her once why she gets involved – why she doesn’t just leave it at referring the matter to the appropriate agency. She replied
“While they’re figuring out whose responsibility it is to deal with and what the appropriate measures are to take, the kid is still hungry. So I give the child some food – at least they have something in their tummy to get through the day with.”
Maybe there could be a separate program running after school called ‘Life skills’ or ‘staying safe’ that deals with these kinds of issues. With all the mandatory testing and accountability issues faced by educators these days there is little time to include anything else in the already overcrowded curriculum.
I don’t know what the answer is, but we need more than just survivors speaking out about their experience. There is no funding available for this type of thing and I can see that if there was a movement towards that then discrimination issues would come up – probably linked to the Human Rights Act.
I agree that part of the problem is the media won’t use the right words – I have heard Dr Phil say SOB too – not helpful! I think part of the problem here is the lack of concensus even within the psychological / psychiatric community. How many of the sociopaths / psychopaths we were involved with had a diagnosis of conduct disorder before the age of 15? That’s just unrealistic to expect that piece of the puzzle will be present in every case.
For one thing, it would require the family knowing and recognising there was a problem with the child and it would require the family having both the time, resources and know how to seek out a diagnosis from the appropriate parties.
So needing to have an official diagnosis is a major problem. I would rather see that we have a public checklist with a cut off point – that if a person scores say 18 out of 22 then they are a ‘likely psychopath’ or a person with ‘psychopathic tendencies’. These folk are the most unlikely candidates for going for diagnosis as they think there is nothing wrong with them at all. It’s their victims that recognise the symptoms and put the pieces of the puzzle together so surely our opinion in judging pathology should count for something??
Re educating others. I do in both a professional and personal capacity.
midlife – your details are awesome. good for you!
best,
one step
Thanks one step – this week will be the third time and I rely on participants to maintain confidentiality. I really think there should be a big focus on this but the main focus goes to other areas. The participants then take what they have learned and share it with colleagues. It’s my way for now of doing something about this injustice and danger. It isn’t much but it’s a start 🙂
One Step – your post is fantastic! And to look at other social movements and how they grew as a starting point, and tweeting is a great idea. Have you noticed anyone else out there tweeting about this already?
And Jake I think your ideas about age appropriate books or reading material on the subject of psychopathy or manipulative people (not just bullying) is great! so lets do it!;)x
ML I think that IS much! But you said that getting ‘caught’ would mean you getting the sack? So teaching professionals do not have the (training / financial) support to ‘tool anyone up’ even if they could.
I like this: ‘Maybe there could be a separate program running after school called ’Life skills’ or ‘staying safe’ that deals with these kinds of issues.’ because I think school IS the best place to learn new skills and the place where kids spend most of their time.
But I dont like this:’With all the mandatory testing and accountability issues faced by educators these days there is little time to include anything else in the already overcrowded curriculum.’ My dearest friend is a TA and I hear all of the time how little support he and the rest of the staff get, and how there aren’t enough hours in the day to deliver the quality of education they need to – and that it is very demoralising.
I think we have the same problems with our social care system here too:
I dont know if you heard of the Victoria Climbie case, where a child was shockingly let down by a system that just does not work. The ‘blame’ is tossed about like a hot potato, and we hear all kinds of stories about social workers being too snowed in with paper work to be effective, but will anything improve?It better!!
Another thing I am realising – as I read this thread is that I am guilty of not speaking out as much as I could so I am a blooming hypocrite – Jake’s point about ‘people look at you as if you have two heads’ when you mention the words, well this HAS put me off just being frank about it…
…I should embrace my two heads! Two heads are better than one after all! (sorry couldn’t resist!;)x
Thanks blueskies for the encouragement – yes I am certain I would be severely censured for including this content because it is not explicitly mandated by management. But I think it is important so I take some risks 😛
We all speak when we feel able to. There are people I don’t tell about the abuse because they know him (or think they do) and wouldn’t believe it – so I would just put myself in a bad light by telling them. I think we have to be careful WHO we tell and HOW we tell them. I think it was EB who made a good point that we are only really effective in our telling once we are out of the terrible pain of being victimised. I think this is very true. When I couldn’t speak about it without bursting into tears – well I don’t think my account would have been considered valid and effective back then. I am still upset about it all but can now speak about it rationally and calmly and have taken the time to read the literature and form some opinions about the disorder.
We have the same problem in my country when a child is severely hurt or killed – each department and social worker or case worker plays hot potato trying to land the blame with someone else. The sad part is when investigated the usual cause is put down to ‘communication breakdown between agencies’ = now wouldn’t you think in the digital age where we have such spectacular tools, they could invent some kind of alert system that notifies all interested parties when something happens with a child or their family. eg the family doctor who examines the bruising could put an alert into a system that then alerts the police and child welfare agencies. Of course the problem is we don’t have mandatory reporting – it is OPTIONAL and people are so afraid of Privacy laws that they fail to act when it is needed.
Some people are so traumatised by their experience that they choose never to speak of it again in an effort to get past it. I think that is another voice lost, but I have to respect that individual choice – each person must do what they feel they can.If they feel they can do nothing … well it is a loss but that is their choice.
Blueskies I guarantee you that once you start speaking confidently about psychopaths and using the research you have read about to bolster what you say, people won’t look at you like you have two heads. And if they do, it’s because they only have half a brain!
When you feel able, try it out. You’ll be amazed. Most of the people I have talked to have really ‘got it’ – I ensure they have by the end of the discussion. I also aim to answer their questions that come up. I have read extensively here and in other places and while no expert, this reading combined with my personal experience means I can speak confidently about this subject … I know it because I lived it. You lived it too.
I am thinking about contacting volunteer organisations like Rotary or Lions to give brief talks on psychopathy … that would really push my boundaries out and I am not sure if I am ready for it, but the thought is there. Has anyone else done something like this???
midlifecrisis
Yes I am getting more effective in talking about the whole area of psychopathy with my students. I notice when I mention it as part of the module they are studying (and I am teaching strangely enough!) as long as it is in a casual “what do you think yourself” kind of way the conversation branches out and is very interesting. Some know it in their own lives, they struggle with it, wonder about it and respond well.
I guarantee, if I told them of my own experience they would probably be tempted to conclude “She is a bit nuts” (early on, fresh after the trauma of the psychopath that entered my life I would have spent time CONVINCING people he was a psychopath)
I DO NOT WANT THIS EXPERIENCE TO PIGEON HOLE ME AS THE ONE WHO WAS RIPPED OFF BY THE PSYCHOPATH
Now I do not feel the need to PROVE IT and its after letting it go I can really talk about it in a way that invites people to comment on it, some people have never met with it and are INNOCENT, they could not comprehend it. The ones who have met with it are curious, worried and relieved to have a conversation about it. We lock together in naming it, so that if a psychopath was in the room they would feel PERTURBED only because WE ARE ONTO YOU and your HIDING PLACES SOON WILL NOT EXIST
The innocent ones are the ones who will be targeted. So I try as gently as I can to explain it, not lecture or force it down anyones throat, but to encourage connection with their feelings, trust their innate judgment and act responsibly
Midlife – I feel I am not clued up enough to speak with confidence – but I can do something about that, and you and EB are right – I think a person needs to be out of the emotion of the trauma before they are taken seriously…
Just one more waffle: Giving people tools doesnt have to be specific to certain types of abuse or after the fact… I googled manipulative people and found this list:
http://setfree0408.blogspot.com/2009/03/dealing-with-manipulative-people.html .
Just an example.
I know this is over simplifying but how about an ‘am I being manipulated?’ tool kit for kids as an idea – and the discussion about WHY the manipulators do what they do (because they are possibly S/N/P’s) would follow on…..?
just another thought… empowering rather than ‘preaching’ usually works better doesnt it.
http://setfree0408.blogspot.com/2009/03/dealing-with-manipulative-people.html
I dont think I attached the link properly.
blueskies:
Thanks for a great link ~~lots of very helpful, informative, enlightening posts there. And I agree that we need to be out of the emotion of the trauma to speak about it…I like One Steps ideas on getting the message out. There really is the misconception that only serial killers are psycopaths…just as the public is beginning to understand pastors or policemen or pillar of the community types can be “wife beaters”, at some point the public has to know that the majority of psychopaths are not serial killers…knowledge is power.