The New Year is always a good time for new beginnings. If your wish for the New Year is to heal from a destructive relationship with a sociopath and recover from the narcissistic abuse that you endured, here are 19 resolutions to help you in 2019.
1 . I will have No Contact with the sociopath — I will not call, text or send email, and I certainly won’t meet him/her in person.
2. If the sociopath contacts me, I will not respond.
3. I will not try to get information about the sociopath from others.
4. I will not follow or stalk the sociopath on social media.
5. I will remember that anything the sociopath says could be a lie.
6. I will not try to prove myself to the sociopath (because anything he/she says about me is a lie).
7. Even though the sociopath tried to get me to doubt myself, I will trust my own perceptions.
8. I will not discuss my personal situation with anyone who knows the sociopath, because I don’t want any information about me divulged.
9. I will memorize noncommittal canned answers so I can respond to any inquiries about the sociopath without becoming upset.
10. I will allow myself to cry, sob and grieve in private, or with a trusted therapist, because I know I need to process the pain of my experience.
11. Although obsession is a normal phase of recovery, I will gradually limit the time that I allow myself to obsess.
12. I accept that the sociopath never loved me, because he/she is incapable of loving anyone.
13. I accept that the person I thought I was involved with does not exist.
14. I accept that the sociopath betrayed me and intentionally engaged in narcissistic abuse.
15. I accept that the sociopath will never change.
16. I will give myself time and permission to heal from the narcissistic abuse.
17. I will be gentle with myself.
18. I will recognize that the sociopath took advantage of my humanity and I have nothing to be ashamed of.
19. I will remember that, no matter what the sociopath said or did, I am worthy of respect and love.
In order to truly recover from narcissistic abuse, you’ll need to commit to your own healing. That means deciding that you want to feel better, and doing the internal work to accomplish your goal.
It can be a bumpy ride. As you process the emotions related to your involvement with the sociopath, you’ll probably find that they are connected to previous emotions that made you vulnerable in the first place. For example, you may be crying about something the sociopath did, and then realize you are also crying about a similar experience with an earlier relationship or in your family of origin.
When this happens, recognize that you are making real progress. Your objective is to release any internal pain you may be carrying around, whether it is new or old. That is how you will truly recover.
Do you have any recovery resolutions for the New Year? If so, please share them by posting a comment below.