Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a woman who we'll call, “Cybil.” She was married to a sociopath, and is now raising two toddlers, paying 75%+ of their support, and being run into the courts, stalked, threatened and harassed. Today I was thinking about this comment I get a lot from the supposed "resources" I have. What I have found is that there really is not much in the way for resources out there for abused women. Even my family, who have been helpful and are starting to "get it" little by little, can be a little backhanded in their support. The comment goes like this: "Well, you chose this guy. You chose to have kids with this guy." It is always said after …
Sociopaths explain their own words
Perhaps the hardest thing for those of us targeted by sociopaths to grasp is the extent of their inhumanity. Sociopaths have no empathy. They do not feel connections to other human beings. We are mere pawns in their games. They view the world as predators and prey—they are the predators, everyone else is prey. We ask, “How can this be?” We object, “He said he loved me!” (“She said she loved me!”) We argue, “I said I was leaving and he cried! He begged me to stay! He said he couldn't live without me!” (The female sociopath did too.) Well, let's take a look at what their words really mean. A Lovefraud reader visited Sociopathworld.com. “They had a discussion going on things they …
The Bernie Madoff undie auction
The U.S. Marshall Service auctioned off Bernie Madoff's personal property yesterday, with proceeds earmarked to compensate his scam victims. The New York Post reported that one buyer paid $1,700 for Lot 380, which included 138 pairs of ultra-luxurious Charvel socks, and 11 pair of brand-new, monogrammed designer boxers. Read Bernie Madoff's undies go for $1,700 at auction on NYPost.com. …
“Love Fraud” book earns 5 stars in first independent review
In the book publishing business, reviews by respected sources are critical. As soon as we had printed copies of Love Fraud — How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, we sent it to about a dozen reviewers like Publisher's Weekly, the New York Times Book Review and the Library Journal. The first review is in, from the Midwest Book Review. Founded in 1976, the Midwest Book Review publishes monthly book publications specifically for community and academic librarians, booksellers, and the general reading public. Of the 169 books reviewed in the Small Press Bookwatch for November, 2010, Love Fraud is one of two books listed as a “Reviewer's Choice.” Here's what they …
“Love Fraud” book earns 5 stars in first independent reviewRead More
Traveling the distance
By Ox Drover I got to thinking the other day about how our strength and ability to carry an emotional load of “stress” is sort of like a long-distance walk or ride or race. People who travel in various long distance endurance races, or just for their own purposes, have to limit the amount of weight that they carry. Some people who do long distances on foot even cut the handle off their toothbrushes to reduce the load they have to carry by even a fraction of an ounce. If I had to carry a five pound sack of flour to our local post office, which is about three miles away from my farm, up and down several steep hills, I could do it without a great deal of time involved, but would probably …
Arizona con man rips off investors; wife held responsible
Cindy White met a and married a man who seemed to be a kind, successful investor. He turned out to be a complete fraud who swindled his investors. White knew nothing about it, and was not involved in the business, but authorities in Arizona have her on the hook for $1.5 million. Yesterday, KPHO TV in Phoenix covered the story. Watch the video and read the story at kpho.com: Husband's double life leaves woman with $1.5 M debt. Cindy White is planning a book about her experience, and hopes that you'll comment on the article. …
Arizona con man rips off investors; wife held responsibleRead More
An incredible story of psychopathic entitlement
Back in 1995, Beatty Chadwick, in the midst of a divorce, was accused of hiding $2.5 million from his wife. The judge found him guilty of contempt of court, and ordered him to jail. Refusing to pay his wife anything, he sat in jail for 14 years. Chadwick was finally released in 2009, and until earlier today, was looking for a new woman on Match.com. Read Monica Yant Kinney: Beatty Chadwick, trolling Match.com, still defying truth, on Philly.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader—who also tipped off the press. …
Man kills wife, but wants to keep their property
A UK man cheated on his wife and then bludgeoned her to death. Still, he sees no reason to give up her share of the property that they owned. Read Wife-killer fights daughter for his home saying: 'She can have it when I'm dead' on DailyMail.co.uk. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
Don’t call it a diet–call it a lifestyle change
By Ox Drover I slipped into an unhealthy lifestyle after my husband died six years ago. Slowly I let things deteriorate until I had gained a significant amount of weight, about 10 pounds a year. I started to feel bad and wasn't really sure just why, but in the back of my mind I knew I had ignored the “red flags” of that needle on my scale creeping up. I had been in “denial” with, “Oh, it's just a couple of pounds.” Many times I have realized that my life has been “out of whack” just a little bit at a time, that I have been doing unhealthy things that didn't immediately impact my life dramatically, but just a “little bit at a time.” Like a bucket filling up one drop at a time, …
When Bad People Do Good Things
Even bad people can sometimes behave well. That seems a strange twist on the idea of “good people behaving badly.” But it's true. Even the skeeviest personality isn't usually spending all day long exploiting everyone who enters his path. Now this doesn't mitigate his skeeviness one wit. But it's also true that sociopaths aren't always exploiting and mistreating others, all day long. They will be taking some time off, in different contexts, from their more unseemly behaviors. And so sometimes, sociopaths can be nice, even very nice; sometimes they may extend themselves to others. Now we can question what motivates them when they are behaving well; probably, very often, their prosocial …