By Joyce Alexander RNP (Retired) We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed. For what then matters is to bear witness to the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one's predicament into a human achievement. When we are no longer able to change a situation just think of an incurable disease such as inoperable cancer we are challenged to change ourselves. Dr. Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning I spent so much of my life trying to change others that it almost became a way of life for me. I was never very successful …
Dancing In The Rain
Thanks, again, for all your comments — I'm glad you seemed to like the more light-hearted approach on my last post! This week there have been so many things I could choose to write about that I simply don't know where to start. I can assure me, it's unlike me to be lost for words, but that's how it feels at the moment. You see, the past couple of weeks have been magical in so many ways. I have re-connected with old friends. Extraordinary business opportunities are opening up everywhere I turn. Publishing contract now agreed, the words are flowing for my first book (I am so excited!) And as if all that wasn't enough, one of my dear friends swam across The Channel from England to France t …
The sociopath’s predatory stare, revisited
I was recently asked to comment on the sociopath's “predatory stare,” and my first thought was to play it down somewhat. Not all sociopaths have this stare, or else it would be pretty easy to bust them for the “look.” On the other hand there's a form of the “predatory stare” that I want to remark on briefly in this short article that signals my return to the blog, again, on a more regular basis. It is really the “predatory stare,” but masked as the “romantic stare.” Again, not all sociopaths deploy the “romantic stare,” let's not kid ourselves. But some do. I've worked with many woman (and a few men) who can attest to it, and I'm sure many of you have had experience with it. What is …
Beginning the journey to wholeness
Last week, I posted Letters to Lovefraud: Who we used to be, written by the reader who posts as “Panther.” She called herself a “new survivor,” having just left the sociopath and gone “No Contact” less than a month ago. She wrote: Through reading various Lovefraud articles, I've realized that the veterans have so much invaluable advice to offer. However, at times I wonder how the voice of a survivor sounded right after the break. The reason this matters to me is because the veterans seem so much stronger than I feel right now. I cannot help but wonder, as I read through their wise words, if they have something I don't have, which enabled them to get over this. To Panther and other Lovefraud …
Where there is life, there is hope … or is there?
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired) One of the things I was raised to believe was, “where there is life, there is hope.” It was one of the precepts I was taught to believe to always keep “hope” alive. In the last few decades, there have been many advances in the medical profession's ability to save people that not long ago have surely would have died. My grandfather was one of the early members of my family who was “saved” from a sure death from pneumonia by the first “sulfa drugs,” antibiotics. It was a miracle, as he was already thought by the doctors to be “sure to die,” but he returned from the very brink of death and survived. With cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) and advanced …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Who We Used to Be
Editor's note: The following letter was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as “Panther.” This little bundle of words comes from a new survivor. I write this hoping that I can find these thoughts to be consolation for myself, as well as to share them with others for the same reason. Through reading various Lovefraud articles, I've realized that the veterans have so much invaluable advice to offer. However, at times I wonder how the voice of a survivor sounded right after the break. The reason this matters to me is because the veterans seem so much stronger than I feel right now. I cannot help but wonder, as I read through their wise words, if they have something I don't have, which e …
Cigarettes And Sociopaths – Stop The Insanity
This week I am inspired to write following another intensely personal experience that happened to me the weekend before last. I was in London, attending Allen Carr's workshop “Easyway To Stop Smoking”. Yes, I am ashamed to admit that for most of my adult life I have been an on-off smoker. I have had countless long periods of non-smoking (six months, eighteen months”¦ two years was the longest) and I have never classed myself as a ”˜proper' smoker as I rarely exceeded ten a day. But I had been fooling myself. Because the fact is, as I learned last week, that I was an addict and I had been hooked right from the very start. During the course of the workshop, I came to the conclusion that add …
Court case about exposing an alleged liar and cheater on the Internet
It's a juicy media story, featuring a former prosecutor turned football executive, a roller derby queen, a jilted fiancé and a fire-breathing feminist attorney. But beneath it all is a lawsuit filed in Manhattan federal court that may have serious implications for many Lovefraud readers. Cast of characters: Matthew C. Couloute: Attorney, former prosecutor, affiliated with the NFL, former VP and counsel of the United Football League. Stacey Blitsch: Roller derby queen for the Bay City Bombers. She had a relationship with Couloute, and they have a son together. Amanda Ryncarz: Another woman who had a relationship with Couloute—she thought she was his fiancé. Gloria Allred: Cele …
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Research finds brain changes due to PTSD
New research has found a specific change in brain chemistry due to trauma. An article on Medscape.com says: "Lower serotonin 1B levels were also strongly associated with age at first trauma. The earlier the trauma exposure, the greater the brain alterations and the greater the severity of PTSD symptoms, and the greater the risk of developing comorbidities," senior author Alexander Neumeister, MD, associate professor of psychiatry at Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York City, told Medscape Medical News. "These findings establish that trauma at a young age causes long-lasting neurobiological and psychological effects in survivors with PTSD. In other words, early-life trauma can …
Injuries from psychopaths are like burns
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired) I was thinking about 9/11 and the horrible burns experienced by some of the victims who did recover. Being a registered nurse practitioner with a wide variety of clinical experience, the burn units had always been the one place I did not want to work. The terrible pain experienced by the victims of burns always tore at my heart, and even my professional distancing from the pain of my patients could not keep me from “feeling” their pain. On the day the U.S. mourned the fall of the Twin Towers, I started thinking about the analogies of those 9/11 attacks and how they are so much like the attacks on our lives by the psychopaths, and the injuries we suf …