How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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What is forgiveness? Does it condone evil or defeat it? (Part II)

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Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Special note from the author, Travis Vining:  Some of the content in this article may be unsettling to some.  I would ask that the reader please recognize that the following definition and interpretation of forgiveness is from years of personal experience, reading, learning, practicing and teaching.  It did not come easy, and in the beginning, I was just as unwilling as most to accept forgiveness as a possible solution to my problem. It is very “normal” to experience an emotional response to the idea that we play a part in our own suffering when the pain is still fres …

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Saying “Yes” Without Reading The Small Print

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This week my post is inspired by a throw-away comment from my son. We were sitting in the kitchen, eating vegetable soup together while he downloaded a new app for my iPhone that will allow us to stay in contact more easily when I'm in the UK. As is often the case, the carrier has updated their terms and conditions so, before I could complete the download, I had to agree the changes. “You don't really want to read the 55 pages of new terms and conditions do you Mum?” asked Dylan, just checking the seemingly obvious before checking the “I agree” box. I laughed and shook my head - of course I didn't!  And that's when he said “Did you know that's the biggest lie that people tell — not just on …

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BOOK REVIEW: Character Disturbance

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Character Disturbance—The Phenomenon of Our Age, the new book by George K. Simon, Ph.D., does two things really well: It paints a no-nonsense picture of how people with personality disorders, including sociopaths, behave. And it explains why traditional psychotherapy, in attempting to understand these individuals, gets it so wrong. The basic problem, Simon explains, is that classic concepts in psychotherapy, like those advanced by Sigmund Freud, propose that people develop defensive strategies against a cruel, heartless world in order to protect their deep, authentic selves. This results in "neurosis," defined in Wikipedia as "a variety of mental disorders in which emotional distress or u …

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Other aspects of crime and mental disorders

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I read two interesting articles in the newspaper this morning. The first was about the original mass murderer, Howard Unruh, who in 1949 walked down a street in Camden, New Jersey, and killed 13 people in 20 minutes. Psychiatrists at the time tried to find out why he did it by giving him "truth serum." On Oct. 20, 1949, Camden County Court Judge Bartholomew A. Sheehan signed the final order of commitment for Unruh after a team of four psychiatrists classified him as a case of "dementia praecox, mixed type, with pronounced catatonic and paranoid coloring." In modern parlance, he was a paranoid schizophrenic, a classification that would appear again and again in Unruh's records. Read …

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Woman who left U.S. with kids faces extradition

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After her divorce in 1997, Eileen Clark, 54, left the United States with her three children for the United Kingdom. she now faces extradition back to the United States. It will be interesting to watch this case—so far I haven't seen any information to indicate whether this woman or her ex-husband were abusive. Read: Mother-of-three facing extradition from Britain and a trial in U.S. for kidnapping her children 15 years after fleeing an unhappy marriage, on DailyMail.co.uk. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …

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What is forgiveness? Does it condone evil or conquer it? (Part I)

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Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Forgive, as a word, and as an ideal, is very misunderstood in our world. Not only is the idea misunderstood, but the word itself is often intensely disliked. The act of Forgiveness does not release the perpetrator from responsibility for their crimes, nor condone the behavior. Forgiveness is about letting go, a process that releases us from another's destructive hold over our lives. It is not about accepting, trusting, or increasing future suffering. To the contrary, Forgiveness is simply releasing pain from the past in order to end future …

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There’s Always A Gift – Even When The Situation Seems Hopeless

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  It's been a funny old week for me. I am within spitting distance of completing a final piece of the jigsaw that releases me from my past — infuriatingly it's still so close and yet so far. Over the past couple of years I've learned that some things just can't be rushed. I've also learned that patience is indeed a virtue and that, contrary to the many messages I have been told throughout my life, I've realised that now I do possess it... in bucket loads! True, I still might kick and sulk a little when I'm required to demonstrate that particular skill — but there is no question. I can do it, and when necessary, it's something that I've found can be exceptionally useful. Funny, don …

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RESOURCE PERSPECTIVES: The Whitney Houston tragedy

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Editor's note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud's Professional Resources Guide. Rebecca Potter works as a licensed mental health counselor in West Palm Beach, Florida. I'm every woman ”¦ It's all in me ”¦ By Rebecca Potter Rebecca Potter profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide Sadly, on February 11, 2012, the world lost another woman's voice when Whitney Elizabeth Houston died in her hotel room. The press talked about her drug and alcohol use, her bizarre behavior, etc. Reporters briefly mentioned her tumultuous marriage. Did we lose another beautiful woman's voice to the tragic, permanent, emotional and physical side effects of …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: The Old Me and the New Me

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Editor's note: The following was sent by a long-time Lovefraud reader who posts as "Aloha Traveler." February 16, 2012 Dear LF Readers, I found this article below as I was cleaning up my computer files and thought I would submit it. I wonder if anyone else has the experience of the “Old Me and New Me.” I hope you enjoy. See below. Aloha P.S. I left the Bad Man on July 3, 2005. So the below article has been hiding in the Aloha archives. :O) * * * * * Dear LoveFraud Readers, A little over 4 years ago, I was a post Bad Man train wreck. My life was a shambles on the outside and my insides matched. Today, though I am in a much better place, I am still struggling with som …

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