Over the years, hearing many victim stories, I often felt the pain and loss of “stolen lives.” Note that having one's life stolen is not the same process as giving one's life away. There are some who spend 30 or more years in a relationship with a sociopath/psychopath and it is important people understand that there is always coercion involved in the process of making and maintaining these relationships. Consider that the coercive behavior that begins and maintains relationships occurs on a continuum from persuasion, to lying/manipulation to taking someone physically by force. The point is that there was never informed, freely given consent. If the victim had known the truth of what they w …
Lovefraud Lesson #6: Sociopaths and sex
Many, many people who have been romantically involved with sociopaths have told me that the sex was the best they ever had. In my latest video, I explain why. Watch Lovefraud Lesson #6: Sociopaths and sex on the Videos page. …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: This is What Five Months No Contact Looks Like
Editor's Note: This article was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Snow White." She previously wrote "He is not Prince Charming, and you are not Snow White." After months of pursuit and ultimate seduction by a psychopath, which eventually lead to an affair with this man, I can now honestly see that I am making my way down the road to recovery. When I first started to open my eyes and began noticing red flags in the psychopath's behavior, coupled with the deep sadness I was experiencing about ending my marriage, I took the first gigantic step of actually listening to MY feelings. Even though the love bombing was so intense and the psychopathic bond well established to the point …
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Another novel defense: Gullibility disorder
This story just makes me shake my head. Read: British scientist caught smuggling drugs for 'Miss Bikini World' blames it on his 'gullibility disorder' on DailyMail.co.uk. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
An analysis of what society should do with psychopaths
How did early hunter-gatherer societies deal with psychopaths? And how should we deal with them now? Joe Brewer, author of Cognitive Policy Works, takes a thoughtful look at the problems psychopaths present for society as a whole. Read: How will the 99% deal with 70 million psychopaths? on CognitivePolicyWorks.com. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …
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Lessons from my Child Custody War with a Sociopath
Custody cases are often referred to as “custody battles”. Lately when I hear this term, I have to chuckle to myself because a “battle” seems so mild and finite compared to what I have been dealing with since the night I fled my ex's house with my newborn son. A “battle” might be an appropriate title when the case is between two rational parents. If you are dealing with a sociopath in a child custody case, however, you are probably experiencing what feels more like a war. Some battles are won and some are lost, but it is never just ONE battle with a person like this. I am blessed to be able to share my war stories in hopes to give others ammunition that I didn't have (and maybe even gat …
New Lovefraud author to detail her child custody battle with a sociopath
Lovefraud's newest contributor is living the nightmare scenario. She met someone who she thought was a talented, successful businessman, because that's what he told her, and that's how he behaved. This man promised to make her dreams of a loving family come true. She had a child with him—and a few days after she gave birth, she fled with her infant, fearing for her life. This woman believes the father of her child is a dangerous psychopath. The woman is writing under the pen name of "Cappuccino Queen." She cannot be identified. She's already received death threats. She needs to stay alive to protect her child. She is truly worried, because at least one woman who was involved with the m …
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Our Silence Is Their Greatest Weapon
This week I'd like to tell you a true story — although details have been changed to protect privacy. It concerns a recent dinner conversation I had with a well-balanced, well-educated, professional gentleman who has worked at the same company for over a decade. Why? Because he believes in what they do, he loves his job, and he loves the people who work there. This man is articulate, intelligent, great company, happily married and by any measure has made a success of his life — I'll call him James. So, you can imagine my surprise when, in a quiet moment, this strong man took me aside to confide in me about the horrors he had suffered at the hands of a female boss who had recently left the bus …
After the sociopath, make the decision to recover
Finally, you realize what is wrong with your romantic partner: He or she is a sociopath. Finally, the behavior that was so confusing makes sense. The person you loved, and who you thought loved you, has a personality disorder. Now you realize that anything your partner told you could have been a lie. Now you know why your partner could be so cruel, then tell you how much he or she loved you, practically in the same breath. Now you realize that there never was any love, that your entire relationship was exploitation, and nothing more. Now what do you do? How do you move forward? How do you recover? Many of your friends and family tell you, "Just put it behind you. Get over it. Move …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: 30 years married to a sociopath
Editor's note: The following article was sent by the reader who posts as Opal Rose. July 24, 2012, was my 30th wedding anniversary. I found the Lovefraud web site in August 2009 after finding a directory on my computer put there by my husband while his computer was being repaired. Unbelievable and worse than I could have ever imagined — porn, violence-against-women-porn, sex dating sites for college age women, e-mails to specific responders to ads. The dude was busy. A frantic visit to my workplace Employee Assistance Program gave me the concept of “Narcissistic Personality Disorder,” but subsequent searches led me to the checklist for “Sociopath.” I distinctly remember my jaw dropping whe …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: 30 years married to a sociopathRead More