How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Red Flags of Love Fraud: The best book for spotting the socially sick

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Donna Andersen determined through surveys and her knowledge of people that the term “sociopath” should be revived and used to describe those who (irrespective of their official psychiatric diagnosis) have adopted a predatory or parasitic lifestyle. In taking this bold step, Donna has filled the void created by my colleagues in Academics and the American Psychiatric Association who can't seem to agree on how to name and define this group. These are people who are called by many names in popular psychology books including: psychopath, narcissist, antisocial, and borderline. The word sociopath tells us what many with these diagnoses are socially sick. The person on the street need not care ab …

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Lifters And Drainers – Finding Sanity After Crazy!

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As is my usual way here on this site, I'm writing this week about something that's hit home to me once again. This time, it's about the subject of Lifters and Drainers, Boosters and Bursters, Gremlins and Heroes”¦. Yes, I have plenty of terms for the subject I'm about to explain. But what, exactly, am I talking about you may ask? Well, I'm talking about how we are influenced in the ways in which we operate. Taking both extremes, it's the differences between whether we feel up, positive, poised and ready, or whether we feel tired, drained, despondent and depressed.  Specifically in this case, I'm going to focus on two direct ways in which we are influenced — the people around us, and our ow …

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Launch today: Red Flags of Love Fraud, plus Workbook, plus e-book!

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Today, my new book, Red Flags of Love Fraud 10 signs you're dating a sociopath, becomes available on Amazon.com and through all other distribution channels. This book reveals, for the first time, the tactics of social predators who pursue romantic relationships not for love, but for exploitation. It explains how sociopaths seduce their targets, why it's hard to escape the relationships, and how people can protect themselves. Of course, Red Flags of Love Fraud has been available in the Lovefraud Store for several months, and many of you have written to me to say that it precisely describes your experience. Here is one of your letters: I stumbled across your site in 12/2011 ”¨while Go …

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Psychopaths rape the soul

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By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) I was reading an article the other day that talked about “justice” for victims. It said that a rape victim is “made whole” after his or her attack when the perp is put in prison. How can a victim of violent rape be “made whole,” no matter what justice is meted out to their attacker? It can't be done. There are some things that can never be “fixed” like they were before the damage, and I believe the “soul rape” by the psychopaths is one of those things. Some of you who have been physically raped may ask, “What do you know about rape?” Well, my bona fides are that my psychopathic sperm donor beat and raped me when I was 19, so I have been both physically …

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Lessons from Jurassic Park: Sociopaths simply are

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Editor's note: The following article was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Adelade." She previously wrote "12 steps of recovery from love fraud." I very much enjoy reading, especially those fictitious works that cause me to think and learn. Without a doubt, nearly everyone has seen the movie, Jurassic Park, based upon a book that was written by Michael Crichton over 20 years ago. Well, I re-read the book over the long Memorial Day weekend. It is far, far different from the movie, and drives home the ramifications of the human myth of “control.” If you haven't read the book, I would urge you to do so, simply because it speaks to a part of the human condition that is inherent in …

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Diamonds After All – Discovering Self-Worth After The Sociopath

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This week I'd like to start off with another quote. As with many phrases I've come to value, it was sent to me by a good friend when I was going through one of my darker periods. Even today it still makes me smile: “A diamond is a chunk of coal that is made good under pressure”  It's particularly relevant to me this week because I'm discovering all manner of riches around me at the moment. In most cases, treasures that have been hidden away from view and that are only now coming to the surface. I've been doing a little DIY at home you see. It's all part of my process to reclaim my space. Making my home my own home, arranging my space and my stuff the way I like to have everything arranged. …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: A thank you note to my sociopath

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Editor's note: The following article was submitted by the Lovefraud reader "Adelle." To the sociopath: I just want to thank you for all the things you do that keep me away from you! Had you not done those things or continue to do them ”¦ I may have thought you'd changed. You know we here at Lovefraud sometimes give you sociopaths too much credit! You guys are not as bright and slick as we think you are. You keep doing the things that confirm who and what you are. If you would just walk away”¦ respect and accept the fact that you have been dumped, maybe you could fool us again into thinking you have an ounce of dignity. Instead you do what you do ”¦ stalk, harass, annoy ... confirming who a …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: What would you do and what would you think?

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Maryjane." If your husband, whom you found out had affairs all during your marriage, had a child with his secretary, paid her hush money, came onto your mother, grandmother, and another sister, told you that he had an affair with your sister ”¦ during the time frame that you were readying for divorce, would you believe him? Also, this man gambled away most all the money in the marriage on football and golf betting (at a country club that you were the member of, not him, as he ran up bills) and was an alcoholic ”¦ And at the time, that piece of info about your sister, was just a part of the entire hurtful …

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