Editor's note: The following article refers to male psychopaths. Women can also be sociopaths, psychopaths and other disordered individuals. Does my sociopath/psychopath miss me? The short answer is “no.” The qualified answer is “yes, in appearance, but only as long as you can afford him.” Since psychopaths are unable to have true feelings, once you are removed from his picture, you are gone forever. Somebody else with financial security will replace you, and then when the money is gone or things go sour, somebody else will replace that person. Psychopaths, we know, are not able to feel gratitude, love, loyalty or any kind of guilt or remorse that could tie him to you. During …
29 excuses that sabotage our instincts about sociopaths
Almost all of us have an instinctive warning that something is terribly wrong early in an involvement with a sociopath (antisocial, narcissist, borderline, histrionic, psychopath). Almost all of us ignore the warning. Last week I wrote about the physical symptoms that we often feel in 8 ways your body warns you about sociopaths. I included fear, chills, difficulty breathing, crying, pounding heart, upset stomach, nightmares and a nagging feeling. The post was widely shared, and several Lovefraud readers added more physical warning signs: immobilizing exhaustion, poor appetite, nervous tension, tiredness, cloudy thinking, vague upset, tightness in the chest. When we're involved with a …
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Australian woman loses $305,000 in romance scam
Scammers continue to pose as American soldiers. In a terrible recent romance scam, a 34-year-old woman from Brisbane, Australia lost AU$305,000 (US$220,210) to a man posing as a US soldier. The con man, Cosmos Emeh, 32, claimed to be deployed in Syria, but he was actually also living in Brisbane, with his Australian partner. He convinced the target to send him $200,000 via a money transfer service. Then, in a highly unusual twist, he actually showed up at the woman's home, claiming to be a "fixer" for the soldier, and collected and additional $105,000. Finally, the woman called the police. The cops conducted a sting operation and caught the guy. This was also highly unusual — usually, …
How a disordered elderly mother expresses love
Browsing, a good day Mom sat in the store fancy chair hugging the bag in a protecting embrace. She had made an impenetrable Chinese wall with her arms, fiercely defending from me a stolen $2,000 Prada bag. The round mound rested on her lap, while I tried to convince her that the store cameras knew exactly what was going on. We got some looks from wealthy shoppers that seemed to reprove my pushy, disrespectful behavior toward this 90 year-old. Perhaps they thought I wanted to keep her money. She, however, felt very entitled to take from the wealthier ones. I felt I was abusing my mother by forcing her to release her “shopping choices.” But this wasn’t our first rodeo at the mall. …
Webinar teaches you to spot a sociopath or narcissist partner
Upcoming webinar: The Basics: Love Fraud and How to Avoid It Jan. 16, 2019 • 8-9 pm ET $18.75 — or FREE with the Lovefraud 5-part Masterclass Instructor: Donna Andersen, author of Lovefraud.com More info Sociopaths and narcissists are easy to spot, once you know what to look for. That's exactly what I'll teach you in this 1-hour webinar, so you can keep them out of your life. The Basics: Love Fraud and How to Avoid It This is the original Lovefraud webinar, and I'm presenting it again for the first time in almost three years, updated with the latest information. Here are highlights of what you'll learn in the webinar: What is a sociopath? Where are they? Male and female …
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Claudia Paradise, LCSW: How to talk to kids about an absent daddy
Lovefraud received the following question: Can you address absent sociopathic fathers and how to respond to a young child who has begun asking about him? My 4-year-old has started talking about her “daddy,” who she could not possibly remember. The last time she saw him was when she was 2 and the total time spent with him in her lifetime has probably been 12 hours total. I have cut things off with him entirely since his last visit. Anyways, lately she pretends to call him on her toy phone, or tells me that her daddy is going to pick her up from school. I think all this talk has stemmed from her best friend at school, whose dad comes to pick her up every day. Not surprisingly, none of …
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8 ways your body warns you about sociopaths
It took millions of years for our species to evolve from apes to modern humans, and during those years we spent a lot of time fleeing for our lives. Our very survival depended upon being able to sense danger from predators. We still have the ability to sense danger, although today it comes not from saber-toothed tigers, but from human predators, aka sociopaths. This protective sense is our intuition, which is part instinctive knowing, and part physical reaction. Our bodies tell us when someone or a situation poses a threat. Here are eight ways that our bodies warn us of danger: 1 . Fear. This is the ultimate warning sign. If you are ever suddenly gripped by fear when someone is in your …
Dangerous Liaisons: Is his goal to break me?
Editor's Note: This Letter to Lovefraud is from a Lovefraud Reader whom we'll call “Aubree.” Names have been changed. I recently got out of a two year relationship with a person who I believe is a sociopath, or at the very least an extremely vengeful borderline. When we first got together, he told me that he used to have a habit of going to bars, finding the prettiest and most confident-looking woman there, and proceeding to go up to her and start picking on her and making fun of her for something that he suspected she might be insecure about. For example, if he saw a girl who was beautiful but wasn't stick-thin, he'd go up to her and start making snide remarks about her weight. He said …
Emotional abuse is a crime in Ireland
Emotional and psychological abuse in an intimate relationship is now a crime in Ireland. The Domestic Violence Act of 2018, which went into effect on Jan. 1, 2019, created a new criminal offense of "coercive control." Coercive control is defined as: "Psychological abuse in intimate relationships that causes fear of violence or serious alarm or distress that has a substantial adverse impact on a person's day-to-day life, manifesting as a pattern of intimidation or humiliation involving psychological or emotional abuse." Coercive control is already illegal in England and Scotland. Psychological violence is illegal in France. In a radio interview, Margaret Martin, director of Women's …
19 New Year’s resolutions to help you recover from narcissistic abuse
The New Year is always a good time for new beginnings. If your wish for the New Year is to heal from a destructive relationship with a sociopath and recover from the narcissistic abuse that you endured, here are 19 resolutions to help you in 2019. 1 . I will have No Contact with the sociopath — I will not call, text or send email, and I certainly won't meet him/her in person. 2. If the sociopath contacts me, I will not respond. 3. I will not try to get information about the sociopath from others. 4. I will not follow or stalk the sociopath on social media. 5. I will remember that anything the sociopath says could be a lie. 6. I will not try to prove myself to the sociopath …
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