How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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A story of classic sociopathic betrayal: ‘The most vile person I ever met’

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story of sociopathic betrayal from a reader who posts as "Mary2." I met him a year ago. He was charming, kind, and seemed so perfect. He told me he was separated and that his wife was living in another state. We did everything together. Then, one day, she returns. I asked why? He said to get more things. She was actually going back and forth between her mother’s residence and here. I continued to believe him. He met my girls, my mom, my sister, my co-workers. All thought he was wonderful. He told me his wife was crazy. When she kept returning he said she just had Dr appointments because she had cancer. I asked to see the separation p …

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To recover from the sociopath, first recognize the depth of your pain

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UPDATED FOR 2020 A Lovefraud reader who posts as "LadyA" sent Lovefraud the following email. At the end, I suggest how she can recover from the sociopath. I've spent a lot time thinking about my experience with my spath, and how it affected me and the people around me. I have read article after article, story after story. I now fully understand what spaths do and how they do it but I didn't understand why I don't feel any better about it. What was I missing? When I left my spath it was a fairly dramatic experience. He had just been sentenced to serve jail time on the weekends for an obstruction of justice charge. My mom flew into town and in one swoop we packed up everything we could …

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High school boyfriend pursues her, then abuses her

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, Carrie20. We met in high school, he was the cool new guy, the mysterious guy. We started hanging out, then we started sleeping together, I got pregnant. He wanted me to get an abortion I didn't want to so we stopped talking. We were both seniors at this time so by the time I had our oldest we were already out of high school. Life went on, I and my daughter ended up moving 7 hours away, it was then he decided he wanted to be a family. I kept turning down his proposal for a few years until one day I thought, why not? We got married, had another daughter and moved back to our hometown. We took out a …

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Recovering from a sociopath by living your life

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UPDATED FOR 2020 You're in meltdown. You've come to the conclusion that you've been involved with a sociopath, and that everything this person told you was a lie, from the details of his or her life to the proclamations of undying love. Now it all makes sense. Now you understand how the unbelievable headiness of the whirlwind romance (love bombing) morphed into the silent treatment, unexplained absences and unprovoked rages (devalue and discard). You have discovered the truth: The person you fell in love with never existed. Everything you saw and experienced was an act designed to exploit you. You are crushed. Overwhelmed by disappointment and betrayal, the emotional pain is …

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Creepy vibe leads to discovery of ex-wives and criminal history

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call Cathy20. Names are changed. I was 28 years old and widowed from my husband of 10 years. I met a man from NY via POF. He was 38. He told me he had a place, car and construction business in NY. He told me he had been widowed on 9/11, also from his long term gf of 8 years Stephanie, never married and she had 2 children, girls who he helped raise. He showed me tattoo memorials of them — Stephanie, Rachel and Allison. I had 4 small children and little support system but just found out I was to receive life insurance and social security. For 3 months it was bliss, other than I noticed he drank all-out. He t …

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