Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Cathy20. Names are changed.
I was 28 years old and widowed from my husband of 10 years. I met a man from NY via POF. He was 38. He told me he had a place, car and construction business in NY. He told me he had been widowed on 9/11, also from his long term gf of 8 years Stephanie, never married and she had 2 children, girls who he helped raise. He showed me tattoo memorials of them — Stephanie, Rachel and Allison.
I had 4 small children and little support system but just found out I was to receive life insurance and social security.
For 3 months it was bliss, other than I noticed he drank all-out. He treated me like I was the only girl in the world, excellent father, bf etc.
My aunt got a creepy vibe from him and did background check and on our way in a vehicle driving to vacation with kids in car she tells me he is not a widow. He has 2 ex-wives — Stephanie and Rachel — and he has abused them both. That he served 6 years in prison and had an ungodly amount of criminal history — like 18 misdemeanors and 2 felonies.
When confronted he went psychotic — police had to be called to the hotel and he turned into the devil.
We left him at the other side of state and went home very much traumatized.
Then things began — like my other house being broken into, the daughters he would text was an ex gf — everything he had done was all a lie.
Few weeks later he was at his aunt’s in Michigan. He called me, said sorry didn’t think I would have dated him if I knew the truth, but he had truly fallen in love with me and the kids and wanted to come clean and change his ways etc. If not he was headed back to NY. I was so in love, it hurt so bad, I took him back.
Again I thought it was all on the table and that we would move forward. It was wonderful besides some times when he drunk here and there for about 6 months this time. Then I kept noticing lots of feeling pressured to purchase and do things I didn’t want to do.
He would take my car and drink in it, one night he literally crashed my car, left it in a ditch, walked home had sex with me. Never told me he walked home. Next morning I’m getting kids ready for school and he told me the car was stolen, until cops came and told me they found it upside down in a ditch. We got into a fight were he climbed through the window assaulted me by pulling me room to room and he went to jail for dv assault.
It goes on and on from there back and forth.