2022 | Page 6 of 9 | Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths

Senior sociopaths in the family create havoc forever

May 9, 2022 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

We’re all born into families. Most of us interact with our families throughout our lifetimes. When there are senior sociopaths in the family, it means a lifetime of manipulation, triangulation and havoc. My upcoming book, Senior Sociopaths — How to Recognize and Escape Lifelong Abusers, is based on information I collected from surveys of nearly 2,400 Lovefraud readers. I asked them to describe their experiences with someone age 50 or older whom they believed was a sociopath. The respondents could write about anyone they wanted, and 153 described disordered siblings, grandparents, family members and in-laws. All the relationships were abusive. It was just a matter of how abusive. One woman …

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The sociopath who documented his abuse

May 8, 2022 // by Lovefraud Reader// 4 Comments

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call, “Laurie22.” She wrote about marrying a sociopath who documented his abuse. Names are changed. I met Eddie during the pandemic. We had the most romantic socially distanced first date. As a cancer patient and survivor and single parent, I thought I hit my jackpot. I had waited so long and he wasn’t the typical guy I dated. Icy blue eyes. Short. Balding. But I thought that love meant that you looked inward. And I fell in love with him deeply. We got married December 31, 2020 at a celebrity mansion. Within 72 hours of our marriage, we had an affidavit from his ex-wife (divorced 2 years) claiming abuse. He promi …

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Male and female senior sociopaths — still nasty after 50

May 2, 2022 // by Donna Andersen// 1 Comment

Both men and women can be sociopaths. As they get older, both male and female sociopaths continue to be destructive to the people around them. Here’s what one woman in the Lovefraud Senior Sociopath Survey wrote about her disordered ex-husband: "His narcissistic behavior pattern became intensified. He was cruel, a pathological liar, never apologized, projection, triangulation and gaslighting. He got much worse as I started emotionally disengaging." Here’s how another woman described her disordered mother: "Nothing ever changed. She exploits, lies, throws tantrums, rages, abandons, pouts, defames, threatens, and would still be physically violent if she had the physical strength." It’s cri …

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Empty chair technique to resolve issues with deceased father

May 1, 2022 // by Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.ED, LBS, CCBP// 2 Comments

By Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.Ed., LBS As a cognitive behavioral therapist, I have recently incorporated what is called “the empty chair” technique with my clients. This technique is for individuals who have a need to express themselves to someone that is emotionally unavailable, living far away, in prison, or deceased. Commonly this technique is used to resolve a conflict with someone who will not visit a counselor or therapist with the client. Also, if there is an overtly dysfunctional family member (an addict or alcoholic) who will not seek therapy or talk about their problem, this empty chair technique is effective for family members who are witnessing their destructive behaviors and feel hel …

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Senior Sociopaths as parents: manipulating their kids while young and as adults

April 25, 2022 // by Donna Andersen// 4 Comments

Sociopaths do not authentically love anyone, including their own children. My new book, Senior Sociopaths — How to Recognize and Escape Lifelong Abusers, includes a chapter specifically on senior sociopaths as parents. I think it’s the most important chapter in the book. I surveyed Lovefraud readers about people they knew who were age 50 or older and whom they believed were sociopaths. A total of 2,120 people responded to the survey, including 357 who wrote about their disordered parents or stepparents. I also asked all survey respondents if they were familiar with the individual’s behavior as a parent; 1,260 respondents said yes. So I have a wealth of data about the parenting behavior …

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Sociopath pretended to be the perfect father and husband

April 24, 2022 // by Lovefraud Reader// Leave a Comment

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Shipra22. She wrote that her ex-husband pretended to be the perfect father and husband. I met him at 17 on the first day in college. A former classmate of his was interested in me and he pretended to help him out and targeted me himself. He was violent and had had a history of being involved in. violence or some sort or the other. He told me strange stories of life (his real escapades) as if they were his friends who were doing them. He was constantly testing to see how much he could dupe me. We dated 10 years and were married 17. Parallel life He was bisexual and pretended to be homophobic so that …

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Learning my husband is a sociopath after 18 years of marriage

April 18, 2022 // by Lovefraud Reader// 1 Comment

Editor’s note: A Lovefraud reader, whom we’ll call Marilyn22, sent the following story about learning her husband is a sociopath. Names are changed. My ex husband stalked me while in high school from age 14 to 17. Whenever I saw him coming I would hide from him because he always wanted to talk to me and asked me to be his girlfriend. I was not attracted to him because he was always walking with other boys who seemed like troublemakers and they were loud. Finally, when I was 17, I saw him and was by himself and seemed quiet. He called out to me and I went to talk with him. I enquired about his quiet and polite demeanor and he said that he was now a Christian. I was delighted to hear that bec …

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Book Review: Divorcing Your Narcissist

April 16, 2022 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

Divorcing Your Narcissist: You Can’t Make This Shit Up!, by Tracy A. Malone Review by Donna Andersen Marriage to a sociopath or narcissist is really bad, which is why I think most people who find themselves in this situation should divorce. Unfortunately, divorcing your narcissist can be worse than the marriage, at least while you’re going through it. Luckily, narcissists who are divorcing tend to use all the same tactics and scams. In her book, Divorcing Your Narcissist: You Can’t Make This Shit Up!, Tracy Malone reveals the typical dirty tricks they employ as they try to gain the advantage over you. If you’re divorcing a narcissist, read the book. Forewarned is forearmed. Here’s how Tra …

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Married to a senior sociopath: It never gets any better

April 11, 2022 // by Donna Andersen// 4 Comments

Editor’s note: My new book, “Senior Sociopaths — How to Recognize and Escape Lifelong Abusers,” goes on sale May 17. I’m posting a series of articles to preview the book. Today’s topic: “Married to a senior sociopath.” No one intentionally marries a sociopath. We marry someone who seems to be loving, caring and shares our interests and values. It’s only later — sometimes many years later — that we realize the person we thought we married doesn’t exist. My book, Senior Sociopaths, is based on surveys that I did with Lovefraud readers in which I asked them to describe their experiences with people who were age 50 or older and whom they believed were sociopaths. Of the 2,120 people respond …

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The man of my dreams led a double life of cheating, drugs and porn

April 10, 2022 // by Lovefraud Reader// 4 Comments

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Carmen22” about her experience with a senior sociopath and his double life of cheating, drugs and porn. Names are changed. I don't know where to start. I lost my husband to a freak accident 18 years ago. We had very young children at the time. I suffered because of blaming myself for his death, which is a whole other story. I got into bad relationships with men and turned to alcohol. I, from time to time turned to alcohol to ease my pain but it became a problem. I had to work so hard on myself to get sober. Between my faith in God, my church and the support of AA, I managed to overcome it. I made the …

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Donna Andersen on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us: “As a kid I saw the original animated movies like “Snow White” and “Sleeping Beauty.” I don’t remember hoping that…”
sept4 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us: “Hi Emilie yes what women want most is love and attention so the easiest way to either con women or…”
emilie18 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us: “Mom used to read the original old fairy tales and stories to us – and when Disney movies came out…”
sept4 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us: “YES you are right the old fairy tales and legends and lores understand evil and how evil is part of…”
Donna Andersen on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us: “Interestingly enough, the old fairy tales taught many of those lessons about evil. Does anyone read them to kids anymore?”