Editor’s note: A Lovefraud reader is shocked to realize that his sister is a sociopath. Here he tells his story. What I’ll be sharing here is not a good story … It is in fact a very sad and dysfunctional situation I am dealing with. I post this so that others may learn how to identify and navigate through if faced with a similar situation.Interactions with a controlling person: Have you ever dealt with a controlling person? … Someone that feels they just have to have their way no matter what. They go so far as to try to control not only every outcome, but also every action of others around them. In addition, they work to manipulate others in such a way that, though they may not go a …
To recover from the sociopath, allow yourself to feel the pain
UPDATED FOR 2023. Lovefraud published a Spath Tale in which a reader, "simpleme56," describes her terrible experience of multiple betrayals. Here's how she begins her story: I came from an abusive childhood, an abusive marriage, and worked hard for over thirty years to heal, to educate myself to be able to understand the dynamics of my abuser and move forward in my life. Believing she finally found an incredible man, she left the abusive marriage, but quickly learned, to her horror, that the new man was another abuser. Here's her story: Back and forth, from the abusive husband to the sociopathic boyfriend It seems so disheartening. Simpleme56 worked hard to understand what had ha …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Not one thing about him was real
Editor's Note: In this post, another Lovefraud reader tells her story of being deceived by a sociopath. He was an attractive, well built-man for his 47 years. When we met three years ago, I thought he was extremely handsome and charming. He was fun to be around, and seemed to crave the same physical and emotional contact as I did. He said he was not married and that he had just ended a relationship with a woman he had been dating because she was pressuring him to meet his daughters and he was not ready for that kind of intimacy. Over a short period of time, about four weeks, he talked about his abusive mother, his time in the Navy as a SEAL and a reservist. He suffered from the same kind …
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Announcing the True Lovefraud Stories podcast
Did you ever try to tell someone what you went through with the sociopath, and they looked at you like you were crazy? Most people really don’t understand the extreme deception and manipulation that goes on in these relationships. Now everyone can learn what happens, up close and personal, by listening to the True Lovefraud Stories podcast. Since I launched Lovefraud.com in 2005, I’ve heard literally thousands of unbelievable stories of people’s encounters with sociopaths. They’re shocking, but true. You literally can’t make this stuff up. Now, I’m giving you and all Lovefraud readers and viewers the opportunity to tell your stories. Brave survivors have said to me, “If I can save one person …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Boundaries, zero tolerance, closure, moving on
Editor's note: This article about the importance of boundaries and belief in herself was submitted by a Lovefraud reader. It has been about a year since my story was posted on Lovefraud, Not one thing about him was real. It has been two years since I broke off the short relationship with this disordered man. It is a year and a half since he stalked me. I hope to share at least some practical points that have helped me in the healing process. It does get better. And it is a process. I wish I could say that others may be helped PRIOR to involvement with a sociopath, but as we all know, sometimes the inevitable entanglement occurs before we even realize we have been manipulated. This …
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Advice for dealing with sociopaths: Don’t take it personally
UPDATED FOR 2023: Lovefraud received this note from a reader; we'll call her Allison. She offers excellent advice for recovering from your entanglement with a sociopath: Don't take it personally. I want to thank everyone involved with the Lovefraud website. It is truly a gift. To the brave survivors, I wish you peace. I am a survivor myself. In fact, I'm divorcing mine as we speak. I will write my story another time because this time I only want to give a piece of advice that has helped me the most. When I was able to do this, the rest was easier to get through. I stopped taking it personally. It was not an easy task. I read everything I could get my hands on and while I learned his actions …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Hyper vigilance and PTSD
Editor's Note: Lovefraud received this story from the member who writes as "Duped." She describes her hyper vigilance — and how it worked against her. In hindsight, I remember questioning the little green things on the dinosaur nuggets he prepared for dinner. I was surprised he'd made the effort, in response to much nagging about not pitching in. It was late and I'd just returned from teaching an evening class. An overload to pay the bills since he quit his job. We had been arguing a lot, or rather me complaining; him not working, cleaning, taking care of the kids or pets and not making so much of an effort as to prepare a meal or help me. I had been working my full-time job teaching, o …
Lovefraud’s 3 Rules of Dating
Most of us want to have a significant relationship in our lives. Even when we have plenty of friends, a wonderful family and a fulfilling job, without a partner, we often feel lonely. Sociopaths specialize in targeting loneliness. Anyone who is looking for a romantic partner is, by definition, vulnerable to being targeted by a sociopath. So how do you protect yourself from predators AND find real love? By following Lovefraud's 3 Rules of Dating. Here they are: Rule #1: If they lie to you about who they are or their life story, dump them The whole point of an intimate relationship is to be authentic and honest with someone, to reveal your true self, and to be loved for who you are. …
Letters to Lovefraud: The coldest man I’ve ever known
Editor's note: The following story was submitted by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call “Marsha” about the coldest man she's ever known. I just wanted to write and share my story. I did some research on all the characteristics of what makes someone a sociopath. My father is a psychologist and knew my situation. He had mentioned the concept that my ex-fiance was a sociopath after everything that happened to me and I didn't think to ask him more about what that meant. After exploring this site with the symptoms, I realized that my dad was 100 percent right. Here's my story: When I met my ex-fiance, it was through a mutual friend. He was charming, funny and seemed to be very witty and sma …
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To escape a sociopath, trust your perceptions
Some sociopaths are really, really good at maintaining their charade. They can present themselves as an honest, caring, loving, church-going, salt-of-the-earth man or woman — as long as they deem it necessary to hook you. That's why it's so important to trust your perceptions. H.G. Beverly referred to this in her post, Gut instinct is not enough. She described the way her ex, Wyatt, treated her during the seduction stage. With the sweet words that came out of his mouth, who would not interpret his behavior as authentic love? She writes: The red flags we expect — like little signs of a deceitful nature or callousness or flakiness, or even what we call love-bombing — these red flags are not …