A Lovefraud reader recently sent me a link to an article on SBNation.com, a sports website. The article is an in-depth portrait of a psychopath, although that word is never used.
Here’s the article:
The many crimes of Mel Hall
He was a flamboyant player, a charismatic coach, and a sexual predator
Mel Hall was a professional baseball player for 13 years. He retired and capitalized on his status as a former pro player to get jobs coaching youth basketball and baseball.
Hall only coached young girls.
Some of them he molested.
After 20 years, in June 2009, Hall was convicted of one of those assaults. Then, at the sentencing hearing, it was revealed that Hall had either abused or had improper relations with at least seven underage girls. He was sentenced to 45 years in prison.
The article is long, which gives the author, Greg Hanlon, an opportunity to describe in detail how Hall went about seducing his victims and their families. It portrays Hall as a sexual predator and describes behaviors typical of child molesters.
But I see much more than that. Although this story makes no mention of any personality disorder, in my opinion, Mel Hall exhibits the behavior of a psychopath.
Play-by-play for psychopathic behavior
As I read the article, I realized that Mel Hall displayed many behaviors that Lovefraud readers have told me about in their descriptions of the disordered persons in their lives. So I went through the article and catalogued them.
Following are 21 typical psychopathic traits and behaviors, and how the author described them in the story.
1. Psychopaths promise but don’t deliver
Hall’s production would never match his potential, however. During his 13-year major league career, spent with the Cubs, Indians, Yankees, and, after a three-year stint in Japan, the Giants, he was mostly a tease, a talented but ultimately mediocre player for teams that weren’t very good.
2. Psychopaths believe in their own greatness
Hall became known for his flamboyant grandiosity and his belief in his own greatness despite statistical evidence to the contrary.
3. Psychopaths crave excitement and want to live in the fast lane
“Mel flirted with danger. He was always on the edge. He liked the action, he liked to instigate,” said former Yankee teammate Steve Sax.
4. Psychopaths get a thrill out of having their sex partners almost meet, or sometimes duke it out
In spring training of 1989, he put up both his wife and his girlfriend in the Indians team hotel and watched the two of them get into a fight near the pool, in full view of everyone.
5. Psychopaths are interested in three things: Power, control and sex
“Mel Hall loved sex. Sex is what drove him,” said McMillan.
6. Psychopaths enjoy the thrill of dangerous sex
The first time Hall had sex with Jennifer, her father was asleep on the sofa several feet away. After it was over, the 15-year-old cried.
7. Psychopaths try to make people feel sorry for them
He called the house and spoke to Jennifer’s mother. He told her that despite his fame and wealth, he felt overwhelmed and alone in New York, in need of a family.
8. Psychopaths figure out what people want to hear and tell it to them
Hall had a manipulator’s ability to tell people what they wanted to hear. The two [Hall and Jennifer’s mother] hit it off and talked for hours. By the end of the conversation, Hall was calling her “Mother.”
9. Psychopaths shower their targets with attention
He invited the family to Yankee Stadium the next day for the Saturday night game. He gave them box seats, Yankees jackets, and the signed baseball.
10. Psychopaths talk about “destiny.”
He said he would protect her, and that destiny had brought them into each other’s lives.
11. Psychopaths buy affection
Gifts came pouring in to her family as well. Tickets to every Yankees game for the whole clan Jennifer’s attendance was mandatory and transportation via limo.
12. Psychopaths co-opt the target’s support system
Jennifer’s family became just as visible at Yankee games as she was, which provided public cover for Hall: If her parents were OK with what was going on, who were his teammates to judge?
13. Psychopaths isolate their targets
He would pick her up from high school and insist that she make a beeline to the car, without looking up. He allowed a small circle of friends he perceived as non-threatening, but made her end friendships with others.
14. Psychopaths are bullies
“Mel was basically bullying Bernie and we put an end to it,” responded Buck Showalter, the current Baltimore Orioles manager who was then a Yankee coach.
15. Psychopaths sponge off of other people
Despite his apparent wealth, he always seemed to be crashing on people’s couches or asking to borrow money, and he had the elusive shadiness of someone who had bought his way through life until he had nothing left.
16. Psychopaths ingratiate themselves with others
Both of Courtney’s parents worked full-time, often at odd hours, so Hall began helping out with chores like mowing the lawn and picking up Courtney and her brother from school.
17. Psychopaths are great listeners, at least in the beginning
Hall was easy to talk to: He was an empathic listener with a good sense of humor and the kind of perfectly assured demeanor that appeals to adolescents.
18. Psychopaths lie
While online, she came across the prom picture of him and Jennifer from the 1991 Yankees yearbook. Hall told her it was a photo op set up by his agent.
19. Psychopaths prey on people’s trust
“What was his weapon? Trust,” said D’Avignon in her closing argument. “Over and over again, he shook the hand of a parent and said, ‘It’s OK. I’ll take care of them. I’ll make her a better person.'”
20. Psychopaths feel entitled to do what they want
“I know I’m innocent and I don’t believe I was proven guilty of the charge,” he said. “I believe I was proven guilty of my lifestyle.”
21. Psychopaths convince other people to defend them
Still, an Internet campaign to discredit the young women and to clear Hall’s name persists to this day in the comments of various blogs and articles that mention Hall’s conviction.
These 21 traits and behaviors are the highlights. I recommend that you read the entire article. Although it’s long, it’s very good.
This profile of Mel hall creates a cohesive picture of psychopathic seduction and not just sexual seduction. Use it to clarify predation and exploitation in your own mind.
check, check, check, check, check. Imagine how educational this article would have been if they actually said the guy was a psychopath.
I am experiencing an overload of item #1 with my current socio. Yes,another socio. Apparently I only attract socios. I’m not getting love bombed, just broken promises. Didn’t know this was so prevalent until now with my latest.
“…with my current socio. Yes, another socio.”
Knowing what you know, please tell me that this relationship will be over far sooner then later.
I am right with you Infinity! Apparently I only attract socio’s, as well! I have had 6 long term relationships in my life and am 54 years old. Have raised 3 sons! Was married to my abusive husband, and father of my kids for 22 years. I stayed that long mainly because I couldn’t bear the having to share my sons, visitation, etc. with a man I knew Damn good and well, Was NOT going to play fair, He never had! He was a control freak like None other! Looking back, I went from one abuser, straight to the next! I had no idea why or how I kept winding up in the same nightmare over and over.! This latest one really takes the cake! My parents and I had moved from the house we had been renting, and were staying in an RV in an RV park and this man had been living there for quite some time. Long story short, He met my father, invited him for a ride, on his 80th birthday. I now see that he set me up, and knew just what he was doing. I went out with him twice, and he never left. He had already gotten my parents to believe he was this great guy! The second time we went out together, he told me he was a sex offender, and that it was the result of a very ugly divorce. I was horrified, told my mother, and she encouraged me not to judge him, that he had paid for his wrong doing. And that it was not my place to judge him! His story sounded SOMEWHAT convincing at that time, However, I wasn’t really paying attention, But I have said all along, Nothing ever appears to add up! I knew something wasn’t quite right. I knew that You cant tell kids they were molested by their father, especially not the ages his daughters would have been, And they believe it! His daughters are in their 20s now, and have nothing to do with him, But still contact other family members, His mother, brother, sister, cousins,,,? I had NO idea! I eventually moved in with him, He got my parents to rent the house next door, He and his mother had paid cash for the house He and I were living in.
I lived with him for maybe a year and a half, was really involved in house, yard, my elderly parents next door, etc. My middle son and his sociopathic gf were staying with us, and I was under so much stress, I lost my temper, went next door, to my room there. My mother talked me into staying a couple days to rest! That’s when It occurred to me how much pressure He put on me, and why I was in the shape I was. That’s when I started looking! Reading! Listening! Digging! OH! MY! GOD! Now its been 2 years, and My parents and I still live next door to him. He lies faster than 50 horses could run! I have come right out and told him, I know whats really going on! Just tell me, If you do this out of stupidity, Or not knowing any better, OR if you do it intentionally and enjoy what youre doing to me!? He says, I’ve never lied to you! OMG!!! He lives next door! There is no way to escape the madness! If it were someone else telling this story, It could ALMOST be laughable, in some sort of way! But this really is a HUGE problem, and Im not sure how to handle or deal with it! I could go on and on! I just tried to shorten it, It would take weeks to fill in all the gaps, But you get the picture,,,? HELP! Any ideas? I have tried to just ignore him as much as possible, and then treat him like a normal human being when Im forced to deal with him, But that’s surely NOT the answer! He is FAR from a normal human being!!
Infinity – As Dr. Robert Hare says, for psychopath, “promises are words written in the wind.”
I hope you’re recognizing the sociopathic traits faster than you may have in the past. If this is true, then you’re making good progress.
All I can say is “Read, read, read!”. There are so many books on the market detailing Socio and Psychopathic behavior, I am now on book number 4. I am determined to never be hurt or even approached by another one of these “broken” (which they are – they lack conscience, ability to love and to feel another’s love)individuals. They find us because we display certain qualities they know they can exploit and; get at our heartstrings. Read everything you can, we all owe it to society to expose these people for who they really are and what damage they can do. The police can’t/won’t do it, judges can’t, no one but average people who educate themselves can pick up the torch against them.
Yes, that’s how to do it, how to protect yourself.
Check on ALL counts !! I was just contacted by a woman accussing me of keeping my socio away from her and HIS son !! ( Somehow, I knew this was coming after I read all the traits of a socio on this site and mine fits the bill to a “T”! – I have been married to him for 14 years and have 4 children).
I feel sorry for the lady cos she doesn’t know what she’s in for. I’ve thought of contacting her back and explainng to her that I have NOTHING to do with my husband’s behaviour as I am sure he lies to her constantly ( like he does with me) but I can’t jeopardize my plans
(especially my financial ones) for my leaving and “no contact”.
I’m sure she’ll figure it out somehow.
Oh well….
Still counting down to my emancipation !
yes, but once you mention the word sociopath…eyebrows are raised and you are then viewed as “not credible”. People just can not wrap their head around what we know. On the flip side, they are sociopaths and now you have become a target. I made the mistake of mentioning ‘sociopath’ to an attorney I once hired and he put the screws to me royally.
last time in court, my ex and his wife sat in front of me making all kinds of ridiculous noises, and one of their posse turned and looked right at me and told me to ‘F’ off. Right in the court house in front of the judge and the bailiff. You think anything was done about this circus? No. His wife is history. He has her and her family so fueled with hate and pity that he can get away with anything…and I’m sure he is. Until he comes home and gives her some STD, which I am sure he will ultimately blame on me. I just cant wait to get the #$%^ out of this state. Ugh
Oh, and P.S she will never figure it out and it is not your duty to inform her. Your job is to take care of you!!!!
These describe to perfection my sons father. It s frightening. I wish there are more articles like this one so people learn how to recognize the predator and run away as fast and far as they can.
Boom! 21 for 21…and my ex s/p and his s/p wife and her s/p family in the courthouse, every status hearing exhibit every one of these traits…how can they continue to get away with it. It is sooo obvious
You’re right WillGove….no conscience, target well, can’t feel love for or from anyone. If the one in my life had said “I’m sorry,” one more time for pulling the crap he pulled on me, I would have knocked his block off.
What helps me most is realizing that they are emotionally stunted at around age 3. We are astounded at the way these highly intelligent, talented, charming, poised snakes act at times and though it couldn’t be weirder or more inappropriate, we make excuses. We don’t even consider how immaturely they’re behaving, how out of place that comment was or how they go from being a rock to being a mooshy baby. Yes, we make excuses for them and yes, they choose well.
No matter how often I tell myself that this guy was a sick predator and recall how he contradicted himself, caused his own misery and lost everything from his marriage to his big, highly paid job (probably not for the first time either!), even tho I see and realize all this, there is still that connection I can’t sever and it isn’t because he tried very hard with me at all. He didn’t. I still have no idea what he wanted from me, but I can’t shake the uncertainty of what it was all about. The worst part is that I know he couldn’t care less about me and never did, yet it bothers me that even tho he’s in a living hell, he probably still enjoys women and sex and feels more positive than negative most of the time. That just drives me crazy.
Am I the only one who was very angry at the first victim’s family? I could grasp that they were sucked in by the predator’s charm, money, and fame. They completely lost me when they didn’t want their daughter to speak about her abuse and go against him all these years later. There’s something very wrong with them!
The author seems to write frequently about sports-related sociopaths. He doesn’t use the term in this piece, but in an earlier article on a retired football player and serial rapist, he definitely questions whether former Pro-Bowler David Meggett is a sociopath. If you still have the energy left after reading the first article, this one is worth reading too–
http://www.sbnation.com/longform/2014/1/21/5320000/david-meggett-criminal-history-profile
A common theme with both predators is that they choose victims they can dominate and victims who won’t necessarily be believed by authority figures, either because of their young age or less than stellar background/social status. Both of these guys skated for far too long.
I believe my daughter is a sociopath. Recently she broke off an 8 year engagement. The wedding plans were set. Deposits sent out. Two weeks before her shower she called to tell me she broke off the engagement. Fine I said. You have my support if this is your decision. Just two weeks ago, my daughter, jam, told me she met a fabulous new guy. What she described to me sounded like “love bombing” and so I simply warned her. I believed she was vulnerable and thought she needed to be aware of predators. Jan, got offended. She went on to tell me that she and Hal, her fiancé, had an open, non monogamous relationship. She told me she had been using the internet regularly for six years and has had multiple sexual experiences. I thought about this for a while, then, decided I could not accept what she has done. I did not call her a liar or a manipulator. I simply told her I believed her behavior was immoral. I feel good about “no contact” and would like support from you, Lovefraud members. I should add that my daughter has had privileges. She comes from an intact family. The marriage was not chaotic but not satisfactory, either. I make no apologies. We are divorced but Jan’s dad and I have been their for her always, to the best of our ability. Frankly, my daughter pretended that her relationship was monogamous. She pretended that she and Hal were a couple. Actually, Jan got a BA in psychology and went to a private school which emphasized moral values. My daughter sees this behavior as simply looking for her “sexual identity”. She lacks empathy and moral sensitivity. Absolutely sees that her behavior crosses no line but that the problem is me. I would like validation, although I am pretty certain I and not my daughter are on the right moral path. Thank you, Kalina
Kalina – does she lie to you about other things as well?